The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 227 Hijacked by Fear – What to Do When Your Mind Turns Against You On Stage

Episode Date: May 22, 2025

In this episode, we explore why overthinking and fear take over in performance, even when you're fully prepared. You'll learn what's really happening in your brain under pressure, why trying to fight fear often makes it worse, and what you can do to build trust in yourself again. If you've ever felt like your own mind is your biggest obstacle on stage, this episode is for you.   And if if you're tired of second-guessing yourself and ready to start performing with confidence and calm, join us inside the Music Mastery Experience. MME is a full year of high-level coaching, structure, and support to help you retrain your performance response, build real trust in your preparation, and show up consistently, no matter the pressure. The next cohort begins June 1. Spots are limited.   Book your FREE Music Mastery Experience Discovery call with Renée HERE   Download the transcript from this episode HERE   Mind Over Finger Click www.mindoverfinger.com/coaching to book your free consultation with me. Visit MindOverFinger.com for my online courses as well as free resources on peak performance. Grab my free workshops and PDF downloads by going to www.mindoverfinger.com/resources. Connect: https://www.youtube.com/@MindOverFinger https://www.facebook.com/mindoverfinger/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/mindoverfinger https://www.instagram.com/mindoverfinger/     THANK YOU: Most sincere thank you to composer Jim Stephenson who graciously provided the show's musical theme:  Concerto #1 for Trumpet and Chamber Orchestra – Movement 2: Allegro con Brio, performed by Jeffrey Work, trumpet, and the Lake Forest Symphony, conducted by Jim Stephenson.

Have you ever felt like your own brain is working against you? Like no matter how much you prepare when it's time to perform, your mind completely hijacks the moment? If that's the case, you're not alone. A while ago, I had a powerful conversation with a client who told me, it's like my brain is a bomb and I don't know when it's going to go off. Well, if that resonates with you, if you've ever felt like your thoughts were your biggest obstacle, this episode is going to show you why it's happening and how to start breaking the

cycle. You're listening to the Mind Over Finger podcast. This is episode 227. Welcome to the Mind Over Finger podcast, where we dive into the world of mindful music making, peak performance, and crafting a purpose-driven life and career. I'm your host, violinist, certified performance and life coach for musicians, and your guide to unlocking your full potential, Dr. René-Paul Gaultier. Welcome back to the Mind Over Finger podcast. Today's episode is inspired by a conversation I had with a client, and I wanted to bring that topic here on the podcast because I think it's going to resonate with many of you. She reached out to me because despite being a highly skilled, experienced professional musician, she was

struggling with something that felt impossible to fix. She was not afraid of the music. She was not afraid of the technique. She was afraid of her own mind. In her words, it just feels like my brain is a bomb and I don't know when it's going to go off. And she described how as she advanced in her playing, the pressure to land a job and figure it all out and then keep playing at the highest level time after time with consistency has intensified. She's always been a deep thinker and now she's overthinking and that's working against her. And the more she tries to fight it, the worse it gets. Here's another thing she says. I'm afraid of myself. It makes me feel like I can't trust myself no matter how prepared I am. And that hit me hard. I mean, it could be something

I say from time to time. And I know she's not alone in this. So today, we're going to talk about what's really happening when you feel like your own brain is sabotaging you. Why the harder you try to stop overthinking, the worse it gets. And most importantly, what you can do to finally break free from the loop and start trusting yourself again. So let's break this down. When you feel like your brain is betraying you, it's not because something is wrong with you. It's not something you're doing that's wrong. It's because of three things. Number one, your nervous system is doing exactly what it's designed to do. It's doing what it's designed to do. Your brain sees performance as a high-stakes situation. So it shifts into fight-or-flight mode.

The problem with that is that you're not running from danger. You're just trying to play your instrument. But your brain doesn't know quite how to differentiate the two. The second thing is that the more you try to fight overthinking, the stronger it gets. Because when you tell yourself, I can't overthink, I can't freeze up, your brain locks onto that fear and then it magnifies it. Right? Do you resonate with that? The more you resist, the more power it has, right? What you persists, this is a perfect example of that. The third one is that you've built a habit of doubting yourself. Your brain has learned to associate pressure with fear instead of a challenge, instead of something exciting. And like any habit, this cycle can be rewired.

So let's recap. What are the three things that make your brain betray you? Number one, your nervous system is doing exactly what it's designed to do. It's doing its job. Number two, when you're trying to fight the overthinking, it gets stronger. And then number three, you have this deeply anchored habit of doubting yourself. So instead of focusing on fixing the fear, we need to change how you respond to it. And that's exactly what we're going to do next. So if you're feeling stuck in this loop, the first step is to separate yourself from the story you've been telling. My client was saying, it just feels like there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't do this and everyone else can. Can you resonate with that?

But that's not true. The reality is your brain is not broken. We've established just now that it's just doing its job. And you don't need to silence the fear. Really hear me when I say this. You don't need to silence the fear. You just need to guide it. So instead of seeing your mind as the enemy, what if you started to see it as a tool that needs training? And that's the shift we're going to make today. And here's how you can start. Let's go through the exact steps to start rewiring this pattern and build trust in yourself again. You're Ready? So here's how to start retraining your brain for performance. Step number one, separate yourself from the story. Sometimes we start to completely identify with our negative

thoughts. And we believe them so intensely. We think them, we believe them, we embrace them, and we get stuck in them. But thoughts are not facts. We think they're facts and we believe them because we don't question them. We don't question them. And we've accepted them as facts. And we keep repeating those things to ourselves over and over and over again. But you can reframe that. You can change it. So instead of saying, something's wrong with my brain, reframe it. you could say something like my brain is doing exactly what it's designed to do under stress it's trying to protect me my job is to work with it not against it and that simple shift alone takes away some of the fear and lets you see the reaction as normal not prove that something is

broken so once again instead of saying something is wrong with my brain you reframe it my brain is doing its job. This is normal. This is what happens when I'm about to perform. Step number two is to stop trying to fix the fear. Right now, the fear of your mind betraying you is making the problem worse. You see how it's not really the problem. It's the fear of the problem that's making things worse. The more you fight it, the stronger it gets. Because when you fear fear, when you think something's wrong because you're experiencing fear, that's when you start the spiral and that's when you lose confidence and that's when you lose control. But what if fear was a normal part of the process. And guess what? I have news for you. It is. Fear is a normal

part of the process. So instead of trying to make the fear go away, what if you welcomed it? What if you allowed it to be there with you without giving it control? And I love this book by Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic. I was just talking about it with another client this week. So in this book, she talks about how you can talk to fear. Address it. Okay, fear, I see you. You can come along for the ride, but you're not in the driver's seat. You can say that to your fear. So when it comes to fear, let it be there, but don't let it control you. When you stop trying to fix it, it's going to start losing its grip on you. now step three or actually let's make that one step two and a half so you're going to rewire

your relationship with pressure pressure isn't the enemy it's just a sign that you really care most of us are in this habit of interpreting pressure as a threat instead of a challenge now pressure is perceived a little bit differently than fear it's not as scary it just feels very heavy and that's also normal so when you feel pressure when you feel this heaviness you can again adopt this perspective of my brain is not against me my brain is trying to protect me I don't need to silence my brain. I need to guide my brain. And here's what you can try before you go on stage or into an audition. Watch your thoughts. If you catch yourself thinking stuff like, what if I freeze? What if I forget?

What if they think I'm no good? You want to shift this to more productive thoughts, like I've handled this before. Let's see how well I can focus on sound and flow. It's okay if I feel all of this, I can still play. I can handle pressure. And then step number three is to train for this pressure instead of avoiding it. Too many of us only experience high pressure during an actual performance. I've talked about this so many times in the podcast. We're going to change that. You need to practice performing over and over and over again.

And you've definitely heard me say this before if you've been listening to the podcast. So one way to do it is through mock performance. And you know I have a whole episode about that. I highly recommend you catch it. It's episode 163, title Mock Performances, for real. I'm very proud of this title. But I also recommend you make that training part of your daily routine. So here's how you can do that.

At the end of every practice session, create a mini performance. Set up like it's an actual audition or concert. Walk up to your instrument like you would on stage. Play through the piece. No stopping, no fixing, no judging. You hear me? No stopping, no fixing, no judging. And then notice what happens in your body. Are your hands tightening? Is your heart beating? Is your breathing changed? Do you have negative thoughts creeping in? Notice everything that's happening and then write it down so you can remember and then you can analyze it. Because

this is what you need to train, the more you get used to performing in pressure mode, the less shocking it's going to feel in real performances. Step four, I want you to shift from outcome to process. Right now, your entire focus is on avoiding failure. And that really stirs the mental chaos. So let's shift it to engagement in the moment and into curiosity. That will give you a sense of control. So instead of saying, I can't mess up, or I hope it goes well, redirect your focus, your presence, and your thoughts to the present moment. Focus on your sound. Focus on your phrasing. And come back to your body. Pay attention to your breath. Pay attention to how much you're releasing the extra tension you

don't need. Pay attention to your neck, your arms. Notice what you're seeing. Notice what you're hearing. Really get back to the present moment. So you get out of your head, and you get back to the music. You get out of your head, and you get back to your body. And when you redirect your attention, it takes power away from the fear and the pressure, and it gives it back to your music. finally step five rebuild trust in yourself this deeply rooted belief that so many of us have that says something's wrong with me that deeply rooted belief needs to be challenged a lot So here's what I want you to do. Find every single piece of evidence you can

that everything is right with you, that you are enough. So every time you perform, even in small, low-pressure settings, even in the practice room by yourself, collect that evidence that you can trust yourself. It's not about the one time you missed the shift. It's about the eight times you landed it. It's not about the one time you had a memory slip. It's about the five times you played it correctly. So I want you to take a piece of paper and keep a trust journal.

And after every practice session, every performance, you reflect, and you write down the moments you stayed present, the things you did well. And I want you to keep those reminders that your brain didn't fail you nearby. And I want you to look at them often. And this is very important. If you're tempted to dismiss it, don't. Small wins build trust. That is scientifically proven. Small wins build trust. When you have a string of small victories that show you your strength, all the actions you're taking, all the times you show up for yourself,

all the skills you're building, seeing that, seeing how everything improves consistently, that builds trust. And trust is what turns fear into confidence. And confidence is not about being fearless. it's about trusting yourself. Believe me when I say this, and I'm going to say it again, confidence is not about being fearless. You will still have fear, but you will trust yourself. Okay

Finally Okay If you've ever felt like my client If you've ever thought something's wrong with me My brain is the problem I want you to hear this You're not broken And if you take nothing else from this episode

Let it be this You're not broken your brain is not against you it's just responding to stress and you can trust yourself to trust your mind again and the best part is you can train yourself to respond differently the key is not to get rid of nerves it's learning how to work with them now if you're ready to stop walking on stage wondering if your mind is going to sabotage you and you want to start performing with consistency, clarity, and confidence, I want to tell you something important.

You don't have to figure this out alone. In fact, trying to do it all by yourself is one of the biggest reasons musicians stay stuck in the cycle of overthinking and frustration. As one of my coaches once told me, you can't read the label from inside the bottle. You need someone on the outside, someone trained to see what you can't see to help you break the cycle and build something better. And that's exactly what we do inside the Music Mastery Experience.

MME is not just about mindset tips or better practice strategies. It's a complete performance transformation system, and it's built to help you train for pressure instead of avoiding it. It's going to help you trust your preparation when the stakes are high. It's going to help you rewire your old habits of fear and doubt into grounded confidence. And you're going to perform with calm, focus, and freedom every time. And you don't have to figure out how to do that with trial and error. You're going to have a coach, that's me, in your corner every step of the way. You're going to have a community that gets it and you're going to have the support, the structure, and the accountability you've been

craving. That work is powerful and it's so much easier, faster, and deeper when you're not doing it alone. Our next cohort of the Music Mastery Experience begins June 1st and spots are limited. So if you're tired of doing this on your own and you're ready to start showing up as the musician you know you can be, go to mindoverfinger.com and book your free call today. Let's talk about what's possible for you and how we can make it happen. All right, I hope this episode sparked something for you and that it gave you a new way of thinking about performance because the truth is you're not missing some secret talent. You don't need to be fearless to perform at your best. You just need to build trust in yourself. You need the right

training. And once you make this shift, once you start training your performances the way you train your instrument, you're never going to look at performing the same way again. All right, that's what I have for you today. Until next time, I send you much love and I say, à bientôt. And there you have it. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love it if you'd share with your friends and colleagues. Take a screenshot, post it on social media and tag me. I'm mind over finger everywhere. I always love hearing your favorite takeaways. And if you're ready to take your playing career to the next level,

I'd love to invite you to join the Music Mastery Experience. This is my signature group coaching program where we're going to dive deep into building your confidence and mastery and set you up for success and fulfillment in your life and career. You can find all the details at mindoverfinger.com. While you're there, check out the free downloads and online courses available to support your journey even further. And don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter so you never miss an update or a tool to help you thrive. Again, thank you for being here. Until next time,

much love and à bientôt! Thanks for watching!