The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 233 From Bully to Ally - Transform Your Inner Critic Into Your Strongest Tool in Practice and Performance

Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to the Mind Over Finger podcast. This is episode 233, the fifth episode of your Reset and Rise summer series. In this episode, we're talking self-compassion, not just as a nice idea, but as a real practice strategy that builds consistency, resilience, and joy in your daily work. welcome to the mind over finger podcast where we dive into the world of mindful music making peak performance and crafting a purpose-driven life and career i'm your host violinist certified performance and life coach for musicians and your guide to unlocking your full potential Dr. Renepo Gautier. Hello there and welcome back to your Reset and Rise summer series.

Starting point is 00:00:55 I'm so glad you're here. This episode is part of a special 10-episode journey I created just for you this summer to help you reignite your spark, rethink your practice, and show up with more clarity, confidence, and joy. Each episode builds on the last, so if you're just joining us, feel free to hop back to episode 229 and catch up. The series follows a clear arc. We start with reigniting your joy and connection to music. Then we move into mindset tools like alignment, patience, and self-compassion to bring more ease and clarity to your work. After that, we clear away hidden obstacles. And finally, we wrap up with powerful tools to help you manage your mind and build real momentum. And if you're ready to go even deeper, check out my

Starting point is 00:01:50 course, Practicing for Peak Performance. It's your full blueprint for performance success. And when you join this summer, you're going to get my Performance Anxiety Solution course for free. All the details are at mindoverfinger.com and the link is in the show notes. All right, ready to reset and rise? Let's dive in. Hi, everyone. I hope you're having an amazing day as you're tuning into this episode. Today, I bring you the last of three practice room superpowers. I talk to you about the concept of mind over finger, how to make sure we prioritize alignment over effort. I covered patience and how by harnessing this superpower, we learn better and deeper. And today, I bring you my absolute favorite, one that can be a massive game changer,

Starting point is 00:02:57 and not just in the practice room, but in your life in general. And it's so great because it's not a pill or a chart or an app or a priceless instrument. It's something you already have. It's your own inner voice and how you use it to practice self-compassion, or as I also like to refer to it, self-respect. Let's talk about it. I'm so glad that self-compassion is getting more and more mainstream because when I first started talking about it, so many people saw self-compassion, treating yourself with respect and kindness as self-indulgence. But believe me, they are not the same thing at all. The power of your own inner voice is probably the most influential thing in your life, and developing a genuine empowering self-talk is one of the most effective ways

Starting point is 00:03:55 to dramatically transform your practice. I don't know about you, but I used to say all kinds of rude things to myself when I practiced. Over the years, it got worse and it got to the point where I thought to myself, if this keeps on going on, I don't see the point in continuing to play because this is no fun at all. I was suffering and I was seeing my students suffer and that really broke my heart. So I started to really think about it and made it a part of my doctoral research. And now I get to tap into the incredible power of a healthy inner dialogue and share that with my students and clients and with you today. Studies show it. Harsh self-judgment is detrimental to our practice, our progress, and ultimately our performance. It causes physical tensions that

Starting point is 00:04:52 negatively impact our bodies, our ease of movement when we practice, and when we're trying to perform. It causes psychological tensions that cloud our critical thinking. It's like we're shaking a mean snow globe in our own heads, and that completely prevents us from coming up with effective strategies when we're trying to solve problems in our playing. Also, negative self-judgment and self-talk keep us in the past. They trigger a downward spiral of distraction and self-hatred that affects everything we're doing in the present moment. Just think about how you react when someone starts to be verbally abusive with you. What happens? All sorts of feelings rise in us. Unworthiness, defensiveness, anger, frustration, desperation. It's very difficult to do our best

Starting point is 00:05:46 work when we're feeling this way. So we're launching this bullying attack against ourselves. And at the same time, there's a part of us that enters the defensive mode. So there's this raging war happening in our heads and our hearts. How good do you think you are at solving problems with a mental and emotional war going on? Now, to be efficient, we need to face the music. Okay, I know this is a bad pun, but I couldn't resist. What I'm talking about is not to indulge in less than what you're capable of or tolerate or give in to bad habits in the practice room. But there is a way to be demanding with yourself and to expect excellence while being completely respectful with yourself. We need to notice what happens while we're playing. We need to solve the

Starting point is 00:06:42 issues and see the problems so we can learn and progress and grow. But what we need is assessment, not judgment. Constructive, not destructive criticism. And you know you're in observation mode, in assessing mode, when you're noticing with objectivity, when you're neutral, when you're curious, when you're solution-oriented. Now that promotes efficiency. You know you're in a destructive mode when you're judging and comparing yourself. Your way of looking at the issues is subjective. You're attacking your character. This drains your resilience. It leads to confusion, not to improvement, or at least it hugely delays it. Assessment language sounds like this. This was out of tune. I'm still learning this technique. She sounds good. Judgment sounds like

Starting point is 00:07:46 I have no intonation. I should know better than this. She's way better than me. it's easy for me to see which approach which type of language would lead me to be very efficient in the practice room one motivates me and the other makes me feel discouraged one lifts me up and the other shuts me down when i feel respected i operate at my best and i think it makes sense that the respect should come first from myself. So with this episode, I want to invite you to tap into the power of self-compassion, of self-respect, and develop an empowering inner dialogue. Here are some quick tips to get you started. Try to catch yourself in the act and notice that harsh self-criticism is happening. When you do catch yourself in judgment,

Starting point is 00:08:46 take a breath and go back to the present moment. Find a go-to sentence that calms you down and puts you in a positive mindset. Focus on assessing what is instead of judging and attacking your character. Notice the language you're using and change it to positive, effective words and point of view. So for example, you can say, I've missed this several times now. What's going on? What's the root of the problem here? What can I do about it? Versus, I've missed this so many times. What's wrong with me? I always mess up. I'm such a blah, blah, blah. So you get the idea. If your inner bully keeps popping in, take a quick break, do something that brings you pleasure, and go back to work when your disposition is objective, positive, and encouraging. And here

Starting point is 00:09:44 are some powerful questions to ponder on this week to help you with the reflection. If my inner voice was a character right now, would it be a loving and supportive mentor or a nagging bully? What sentences do I most often repeat to myself in the practice room? Are they helpful? How can I turn them around into sentences that are helpful? When I say those things to myself, do I feel supported or do I feel judged? Would I talk this way to a beloved student? So this is what I have for you today.

Starting point is 00:10:24 Think about it and let me know what insight it brings to you. Try all this for size. and tell me how it fits. Get comfortable with objectively assessing your playing and tame your inner bully in the never-ending character assassination. I'm sending much love your way. À bientôt. And there you have it. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love it if you'd share with your friends and colleagues. Take a screenshot, post it on social media, and tag me.

Starting point is 00:11:05 I'm mind over finger everywhere. I always love hearing your favorite takeaways. And if you're ready to take your playing career to the next level, I'd love to invite you to join the Music Mastery Experience. This is my signature group coaching program where we're going to dive deep into building your confidence and mastery and set you up for success and fulfillment in your life and career. You can find all the details at mindoverfinger.com. While you're there, check out the free downloads and online courses available to support your journey even further. And don't forget to

Starting point is 00:11:44 subscribe to my newsletter so you never miss an update or a tool to help you thrive. Again, Thank you for being here. Until next time, much love and à bientôt.

The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 233 From Bully to Ally - Transform Your Inner Critic Into Your Strongest Tool in Practice and Performance

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