The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 267 Make Space for What Matters: How to pursue your musical goals while creating space for a life you love

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

What happens when the goals you set no longer fit the life you're actually living? In this first episode of Season 9, we're exploring how to pursue meaningful musical goals while making space for rest, relationships, health, and the things that make you feel fully alive. In this episode: • Reassessing your priorities as your life changes • Creating boundaries around practice and work • Making real space for rest and recovery • Staying process oriented when a project feels overwhelming • Building a schedule that supports both the musician and the human Because the musician will thrive more when the human is thriving.   Are you ready to take your playing and career to the next level and create a life that feels purposeful and joyful? If you're ready to step on stage with confidence, perform at your best, and finally feel secure in your playing, let's talk. Book your free consultation with Renée HERE   Scientific links from the episode: ·         Goals aligned with personal interests and values Sheldon & Elliot, Goal Striving, Need Satisfaction, and Longitudinal Well-Being: The Self-Concordance Modelhttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10101878/ ·         Psychologically disconnecting from work Wendsche & Lohmann-Haislah, A Meta-Analysis on Antecedents and Outcomes of Detachment from Workhttps://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.02072/full ·         Process, performance, and outcome goals in sport The Performance and Psychological Effects of Goal Setting in Sport: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysishttps://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/1750984X.2022.2116723   Download the transcript from this episode HERE   Mind Over Finger Click www.mindoverfinger.com/coaching to book your free consultation with me. Visit MindOverFinger.com for my online courses as well as free resources on peak performance. Grab my free workshops and PDF downloads by going to www.mindoverfinger.com/resources. Connect: https://www.youtube.com/@MindOverFinger https://www.facebook.com/mindoverfinger/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/mindoverfinger https://www.instagram.com/mindoverfinger/     THANK YOU: Most sincere thank you to composer Jim Stephenson who graciously provided the show's musical theme:  Concerto #1 for Trumpet and Chamber Orchestra – Movement 2: Allegro con Brio, performed by Jeffrey Work, trumpet, and the Lake Forest Symphony, conducted by Jim Stephenson.

You're listening to the Mind Over Finger Podcast. This is episode 267. Welcome to the Mind Over Finger podcast, where we dive into the world of mindful music making, peak performance, and crafting a purpose-driven life and career. I'm your host, violinist, certified performance and life coach for musicians, and your guide to unlocking your full potential, Dr. Renepo Gautier. Hi, everyone. I hope you're doing great.

First episode, first podcast of the season. I'm so excited to be back for a ninth season of the Mind Over Finger podcast. I've been excited for today's episode for a long time. And for a long time because I have postponed it for a little bit. Actually, this episode was supposed to come out the first week of September. And I think that the fact that it's coming out the first week of October instead is very apropos. because what I want to tackle in this first episode of season nine is, I think, going to set the trend for the whole season of the podcast. And that is, how do we set up a career and a music

making journey that is in complete alignment with who we are? Something that feels fulfilling, something that feels personal, something that we feel motivated about, despite the challenges. And sure, why not? Something that also pays the bills at times. And I think what happened to me this summer is a really good example of that. My plan back in January was to produce a podcast every single week of the year in 26 to plan ahead for the content and to have one episode out every week. I love the podcast. And there are so many things that I want to talk about every week when I sit down with my clients,

whether it's inside the music mastery experience or with my one-on-one clients, there are so many things that we touch on. And you could ask any of my clients, I'm always saying this should be a podcast episode. I should turn this into a podcast episode. I should turn this into a podcast episode. what a great conversation. It should be a podcast episode. So many, so many topics. But at the beginning of the summer, right after I launched the Music Master experience and after I finished this stretch where a couple years ago, I audition for my dream job and won the audition. And then last year, I worked towards tenure for my dream job and got tenure for my dream job and produced a lot of podcasts and interviews. And I realized, that I hadn't really taken a solid break in the long time. And I found myself at a juncture where I had planned a few trips, some family members were going to come visit, and also for the first time in years, my children were home all day for the summer. They usually go to summer camp. But suddenly, mid-May, they were home all day. And then early June, I realized that

pursuing this goal of a weekly podcast episode and continuing to be present on social media, started to feel outside of the scope of certain things that were very important to me, namely my family and spending time with them and also my own health. I have two teens in the house and there are only so many years before they're off to college and out of the house. and I realized they're both home. I want to spend time with them during the day instead of feeling like I need to lock myself inside a room

to record a podcast episode or write a social media post. Also, I didn't feel like getting up at 5 in the morning to record podcast episodes during the summertime, which is what I do during the year. I had a bunch of fun concerts on the schedule. As I said, family was visiting. We were visiting family. and I just felt a really strong urge to slow down and give myself this gift of time and rest

and disconnect from content creation, from podcasting so that I could focus my energy on people all summer, on my children, on my family, my husband, my friends and family who visited the friends and the family that we visited, and of course, my clients, my amazing clients inside the music mastery experience and my one-on-one clients. And by the way, we had such a fantastic summer together. It's been so much fun.

The wins have been pouring in. We've had audition wins, better performances, really important insights and breakthroughs. And I've watched people make connections about themselves and they're playing, change the way they're approaching things, and experience so much growth.

And I think some of my favorite celebrations are all not even necessarily the big tangible wins. There when somebody realizes I'm more at peace, I'm enjoying this more, I'm handling this differently, I'm understanding something about myself that I didn't understand before. In those moments, I've been so excited, for me to witness. And I really wanted to have the space to be there for this, to be present with

my clients, to pay attention to what they needed, and to really experience this with them instead of trying to do everything else at the same time. So that was another thing I wanted to prioritize this summer. And that meant that as I connected and listened to what felt in alignment for me this summer, I paused certain activities and I made time for the ones to that I wanted to take on. So, as a result, no podcast episodes this summer, no social media posts. And this podcast, this episode,

instead of coming out the first week of September, is coming out the first week of October. And I'm actually really happy about that because I think there's something interesting here. The goal wasn't wrong. I love the podcast. I wanted to make these episodes, but something had changed.

My children were home. I was tired. I had just come through a really intense period in my career. I had people I wanted to spend time with. I had concerts I wanted to play. And the plan that I had made in January didn't necessarily fit the person I was and the life I was living in June.

And that's what I want you to think about as you sit down for the year. Or maybe the season. And look at the things on your schedule, the commitments that you've made, both in your career and in your personal life, and ask yourself some questions. Who am I? What are the top things I'm prioritizing this year? What do I want to make room for? And I think this is something that we need to come back to over and over again. before I started working on the audition that eventually led me to my current job, I needed to have a very strong why. You can listen to this in one of my latest episode where I discuss this audition preparation process.

So my strong why came from answering some questions. Why am I doing this? Why am I so excited to practice for this? why am I going to stick to it when things are difficult? Why do I want to take this audition? And this is a process that I don't think we should skip. There's something to this idea of really understanding why you're pursuing a goal in the first place. Because it's not just about choosing the goal.

When that goal is connected to something that really matters to you, you're also more likely to keep working towards it and overcome stumbling blocks. And before we talk about how to fit everything into our schedule, when our goal are set and we feel aligned with them, the first question, I think, is whether everything deserves to be there in the first place. So here's something very practical that you can do. set aside an hour, maybe half hour. You want to make it easy to do right and hard to go wrong, as Gretchen Rubin says so well. So make yourself your favorite beverage, sit down in your favorite spot, grab your most cushiest blanket, make yourself comfortable, make it delicious.

And look at your schedule from last year and notice. Just notice what you notice. what are the things you did that you wish to bring with you into the new year? What are the things that you look at and you think, yes, I want more of this? So as you look at the schedule and the different events that are in the schedule, how do you feel when you see them? What are the things that you see and your heart just sinks and you want none of that in the new year? You can also notice where time was lost. Notice certain things that you thought you had to do, but maybe you don't have to do anymore.

So look with your eyes, but notice with your heart. And take inventory of how you managed and spent your time last year. Because this is important information about yourself moving forward. Once you've done that, reflect a little bit on who you are right now. Who do you see yourself as? And which version of you do you want to expand right now? Do you want to feel more purpose? Do you want to feel more fulfilled?

Do you want to be a person who spends more time outside? Do you want to be a person who's joyful with their family? Do you want to be someone who's energetic? And think about it, not just in terms of what you do. Think about it in terms of who you are. What are the things that you would do that would help you be more of this person? Maybe it's getting more sleep. Maybe it's having more time to cook healthy meals.

If you want to be more joyful, what are the things that make you more joyful? Do you need to meditate? Do you need to plan more dates with friends? plan activities with your family, in your career. What kind of colleague do you want to be? What kind of work do you see yourself doing? Where do you see yourself working? Because that's going to start showing you where you want to spend your energy.

Then look at your goals. The year that I was preparing for my audition, audition preparation was something I wanted to make time for. So there were certain things that I needed to shift down on the list of priorities. Last year, I was really focusing on getting tenure. And this year, for example, I have some pretty specific health goals that I want to reach. And I'm starting to play chamber music again. So I need to shift certain things in my schedule.

And once again, I reorganize the list of priorities. Also, my children are older. Our day to day is changing. So I want to take all of this into account as I prioritize and schedule what I want in my life this year. And one of the things I realize about myself is that if I don't block vacation days, my schedule just fills itself. And I find myself without any days off. I can do it for a while, but especially as I get older, I realize that Renee operates much better with at least one day off every week, ideally too.

So one of the first things I do when I look at my schedule at the beginning of the season, and I highly recommend that you do the same thing, is to identify the days my kids are home from school and see if I can block those out and be there for them. I mark them in my schedule as blocked, as much as possible. And as much as possible, I try not to take on clients or side gigs on those dates. It's not always possible, but with planning, it's much more likely to happen. After that, I look at my opera schedule. What days am I working?

What days can I take off? and then I'm going to try to place clients or other rehearsals on days when I'm already working so that I can open up a day off on the weekend or even during the week. And I don't cram clients on my only day off of that week. If I need to add one more client or plan a rehearsal, I try to schedule it on another day when I'm already working. So I'm already getting dressed up to go to rehearsal, so I might as well see if that podcast episode can be recorded that day or that client can be scheduled before or after rehearsal when I get home instead of my one day off.

And that has been life-changing for me. And when I look forward to this one day off all week, it actually helps me work better. It's like I know there's this little pleasure coming off. There's time to decompress. I'm going to get to Sunday. We're going to do something fun. Maybe we're going to do nothing. But there's space.

And I need that. My brain needs it. My body needs it. But my soul and my heart mostly need it. I found this huge meta-analysis. and I'm going to put these research links in the show notes. In this analysis, the researchers looked at 80 different studies with more than 38,000 people altogether

to see what happens when we're actually able to disconnect from work when we're not working. And by disconnecting, they don't just mean physically not being at work. They mean mentally being able to leave the work behind. So you're not still working in your head. when you're supposed to be off. And what they found was that the people who were better able to do that tended to be less exhausted and less fatigued.

They would sleep better. They experience greater well-being and life satisfaction. And they actually feel more recovered. And I think, of course, that's important because sometimes we're technically not working, but we're still working. We're thinking about the next rehearsal. We're thinking about what we need to practice. We're thinking about the email we need to send or the thing within finish. So there's a difference between having time off and actually allowing yourself to be off. Now, that doesn't mean that science says you need exactly one day off every seven days. That's my system.

that's what I have found works for me. But I do think we sometimes underestimate how important it is to actually have moments when work isn't asking something of us. And I would love for you to carve this time into your schedule, to give yourself this gift, this nervous system reset regularly so that you can, and not only not be at work and not be working, but be tuned out and able to feel human for a little bit. This actually came up in the coaching conversation with one of my music master experience clients a couple weeks ago. We were talking about that feeling that can happen

when you start a big piece or a project. And instead of feeling excited about it, You almost immediately become aware of all the work that's ahead of you. The intonation, the double stops, the bow distribution, the vibrato, all of this. Learning the runs. You look at a run and instead of just seeing the run that's in front of you, you're remembering all of the other runs you've worked on. and you think about the weeks and the months of work,

all of the things that are going to need to be fixed. And suddenly you're not practicing what's in front of you. You're experiencing ahead of time all of the work you imagine is going to be required to learn this piece. And what's interesting is that this can happen with something that you really want to do. You can love the piece. You can be excited. about the project. You can want to serve the music well. And at the same time, you can look at

everything you think is going to take to get there and think, I don't know if I have the energy to go through all of this again. And one of the questions that came up in this conversation was, do you feel like you're resenting ahead of time, the time you would spend on it? Because sometimes it's not even the work we're doing right now. It's all the work we're imagining, the months of work ahead. It's the practicing and repeating and fixing that we know is coming. And the feeling that all of that work is going to take over your life. So one of the things I suggested was, what if you establish some boundaries around the work? What would these boundaries be? because it's important to nurture our asset, which is us, and to enjoy life.

Otherwise, what's the point? How can you live your life fully so that when you're in the practice room, you don't resent the work? How can we establish some boundaries around the work so we can say, okay, concerto, I'm giving you 15 minutes today or 20 minutes or 30 minutes. and whatever gets done in that amount of time is what gets done. Five minutes is better than zero. And then you go live your life. And what are the activities that make you feel like you're actually living your life?

For me, it's going outside, working out, spending time with my family, going to the movies, bike rides, hiking, going to the Art Institute. When we do something fun on the weekend, even if it's just one little thing, I feel so much better going into the week. Otherwise, it starts to feel like it's just a grind. But if I know that I have these few activities peppered in, then it's like, yes, I'm doing the work and I live. I live fully. And sometimes for me it's just sitting down with coffee and watching people outside. I don't know why I love people watching. It makes me feel like I'm on vacation. It's only a few minutes, but it helps me go through the next rehearsal feeling like I had at least a little bit

of a slice of life experience. So what are these micro moments that you can have? And what are the bigger moments? Make the work fit inside specific boundaries rather than feeling like your life has to be sacrificed for the work. Because this is when it becomes overwhelming. When there are no boundaries, this is when the work feels overwhelming because we don't see any end to it. And the other part of what we talked about

was deciding ahead of time to be process-oriented. That really helps with the boundaries. I'm going to spend this amount of time on the piece. I'm going to focus on progress. I'm going to focus on doing what I can that day and only that. Then as we get closer to the deadline, we reassess. Rehearsals approaching. Do I need to intensify the process?

Do I need to switch my boundaries and spend more time on it because now it's time? Then you can assess and change that. 321. So ask yourself, what can I do today? What can I actually control right now? What is the process I can follow right now? And I think the combination of these things, these clear boundaries and being process oriented are very powerful. But I also don't want this to become another set of rules because that's not what I'm talking about. I don't think that we want to aim to find the perfect schedule. That creates a rigidity that really doesn't serve us. So start with what looks like it would make sense and tweak as you go. Treat it as an experiment. I'm doing this

with my own life right now. Until now, it was really important for me to make breakfast for my kids. But this year, I want to sleep a little bit more. I still need to get some work done in the morning. So right now, I'm experimenting with them doing their own breakfast. And of course, I feel sad that I'm not there for them. We don't have that connection time in the morning in exactly the same way. But I also can see the benefits. It has empowered them to find their own schedule. It teaches them how to make their own breakfast and, in fact, their own lunch. And it helps them become more self-sufficient and responsible. Also, this year they're both going to the same school and I drive them to school every morning. So most mornings, we do get a little bit of time to connect. That allows me to

sleep a little longer and I still get the same amount of work done. And now I get this connection with them for a few minutes in the car. So it's a new season of life with new habits. And at any time, if I'm not happy with how that works, I can decide to go back to making breakfast. That's my prerogative. But by experimenting, I open up options for myself and for my kids. And I think that's really what I want to leave you with today. Have so much respect for who you are. Have respect for the season of life you're in.

The things that worked last year might not work this year. The things that work when your kids were little might not work when they're teenagers. The things that work before an audition might not work after the audition. And your priorities are going to move. I think it's great to give yourself to your work if you love it. I think it's great to dedicate your life to something. For sure, for sure, for sure. There are moments when we're so dedicated to a project that we put down all the boundaries.

We don't want the boundaries. But we do that with joy and excitement from a place of motivation, from a place of vision, from a place of alignment. We don't want those boundaries. But not wanting the boundaries. is not the same as having no boundaries. And please hear me when I say this. Not wanting the boundaries is not the same as not having the boundaries.

And that's a very important distinction. If you want to practice all the time, do it for sure. But the minute you start feeling some dread about it, maybe it's worth asking, is this human thriving? And the minute you feel dread, you don't need to stop practicing. Let's be measured here. But there are more nuances. How can the human thrive while doing the work? Pausing and making sure we insert that question before continuing is very important.

Because it's going to contribute to the practice. It's going to contribute to the performance. The musician will thrive more if the human is thriving. So again, maybe this week, make yourself that favorite beverage. Get that cushy blanket. Pull out last year's calendar and look at what's in there, what you did. When you see these things, how do you feel? What is your intuition telling you? What direction do you feel pulled in?

What feels like it's going against the grain of your vision for your life? And don't start by trying to fix anything. Just look. You notice what you notice. What do I want more of? What do I want less of? Who am I right now? What are the dreams that I have right now?

and does the way that my life is organized actually support those dreams and support the person who's pursuing them? And then start experimenting. Experiment with your upcoming schedule. And really pay attention to how it feels. Does this work for me? Do I have the energy I need? do I have this space for the things and the people that are important to me? Am I enjoying my life? And when the answer is no, it doesn't necessarily mean that you need to change everything. Maybe just a tiny thing needs to shift to open up more space for those things that you value. Just a little bit more space somewhere.

maybe something that was a priority last year isn't a priority anymore. Maybe something that didn't need much space before needs more now. Because this is going to change. You're going to change. Your life is going to change. And the important thing is to keep paying attention and keep asking yourself, what do I need in the season of my life? because ultimately you are the asset.

And sometimes we can become so focused on taking care of the playing, taking care of the career, of the next concert, the next audition, the student load, the next project, that we forget to take care of the person who's doing all of it. And I'm going to say it again, I really believe that the musician will thrive if the human is thriving. So take really good care of the human. Make space for the things that you value.

Take those days off. Plan those activities that bring you joy. And with that, I am really, really happy to be back. I'm so excited about this season. I have fantastic guests. coming your way and so many things that I want to talk about around performance, music making, our careers and our lives as musicians. And I hope that throughout this season, we can keep exploring this question of how we create not only the playing and the careers that we want,

but lives that actually feel like ours. I'm so happy you're here. I will see you next time. A bitu. And there you have it. Thank you for listening. I hope this episode gave you something valuable to carry with you and bring into your work. If you're ready to bring your best playing to performances, competitions, auditions, tenure track trials, and all the other high stakes moments you have to face in your musical career, I invite you to join the Music Mastery Experience.

Miami is my high-level performance training program for musicians, where you're going to learn how to prepare effectively, to trust yourself fully, and to perform with more confidence, consistency, and freedom under pressure. To learn more and book your free discovery call, visit mindoverfinger.com slash mime. Until next time, keep going.

Your music matters. A bianto.