The Mindset Mentor - 1 Key to Stop Sh*tty Self Talk

Episode Date: September 11, 2019

Episode 645 - Do you talk down to yourself? If so, then in this episode I will teach you the #1 key to stop your negative self talk. That way you can stop breaking yourself down so that you can start building yourself up! Follow me on Instagram at @RobDialJr  https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the Mindset and Motivation Podcast, one of the top motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we come out with a short, to the point, no BS episode to help make massive changes in your mind and transform you from who you are now to who you want to be. My name is Rob Dial, and the podcast starts now. Welcome to today's episode. Today I'm going to be talking about one key to better your self-talk. So when we're talking about self-talk, the one thing that I have

realized is this, all of us, every single one of us is way too hard on ourselves. I was having a conversation with someone today and he was talking about how he just was so, he's so hard on himself all the time. And you know, he's got three kids and a wife. And I said, Hey, and all of his kids are under the age of eight. I said, Hey, you would never talk to your children the same way that you talk to yourself. Right? And he's like, hell no, absolutely not. I was like, why is that? Oh man, be terrible. Some of the stuff that I say, they feel so terrible about themselves. All right, cool. I get another question. Hey, you wouldn't talk to your wife the same way that you talk to yourself, would you? No, absolutely not. She'd feel terrible about herself. She'd be so depressed. She does so much for me. She does so much for the kids. Why would

I ever talk to her that way? I said, so why the hell do you talk to yourself that way? You know, what you have to realize if you're out there is that you would never talk to someone that you love the same way that you talk to yourself. So why the hell do you do it? Because you are the most important person in your life. Now, I understand some of you guys that are out there are going, oh, but my wife is the most important person in my life, or my children are the most important person in my life, whatever it might be, but you are actually the most important person because the better that you are, the better that you show up for everyone else around you. The better that you show up for your spouse, the better that you show up for your kids, the better that you show up for

your family, the better that you are, the better that you take care of yourself as well, the better that everyone else around you will be. It's like they say, when the plane is going down, you have to put the oxygen on yourself first. Too often, we're giving everybody else love, but then not concentrating on self-love. Too often, we're building everybody else up, but then breaking ourselves down. You would never talk to someone that you love

the same way that you talk to yourself, but you have to love yourself first. What you have to realize is this. Why would you not talk to your children the same way you talk to yourself? Well, they're young. They're fragile. They're that little child. You don't want to destroy that child, destroy their sense of self-worth. You don't want to destroy everything that they have. You have to realize that deep down inside, you're still that little child in yourself. You're still that four-year-old child, that five-year-old child

deep down inside. You've just gotten a bunch of crap flowing at you from society and everybody since you were five years old. That's just changed everything, changed the way that you view the world and changed the way that you see everything. But deep down inside, you still have the same hopes and dreams and desires. You still want to be happy and peaceful and joyful and love and laugh because ultimately that's all children want to do. That's all you really do want to do as well. So when you're talking badly to yourself, you're also talking badly to a child. You know, I was at a, uh, a spiritual retreat not long ago and they said, you should take a picture and put the picture, take a picture of yourself as a child, one, two years old, and put it as the background of your phone, which it's still the background of my phone. I was there almost a year

ago. It's still the background of my phone. And the reason why is because every time you want to say something bad to yourself, you think about that child that's inside of you. Every single time you want to drink alcohol, you think to yourself, would I give that child alcohol? Every time that you want to speak badly to yourself, you ask yourself, would I speak badly to this child? Every time you want to eat crappy food or anything like that, you think, would I give this child a bunch of crappy food? Would I treat this child the same way that I'm treating myself? And a lot of times that answer is going to be no. And if the answer is no, then why the hell are you doing it? Why are you not treating yourself the way that you should? Why are you not

treating yourself the way that you treat everybody else around you? Why are you not treating yourself the same way that you treat your children? Why are you not treating yourself the same way that you should? Why are you not treating yourself the way that you treat everybody else around you? Why are you not treating yourself the same way that you treat your children? Why are you not treating yourself the same way that you treat your spouse? Why are you not giving yourself the love that you deserve from the most important person in your life, which is yourself? Because the better that you are, the better that everybody else will be. So let me ask you, are you being too hard on yourself? Do you need to chill out a little bit? Do you need to calm down with all that self-hate, all the judgment, all the comparison, all the negative self-talk, all the cussing at yourself, all the getting mad at yourself whenever you make a mistake? Think about all of the, you know, judging yourself for all of the problems and

things that you've created in your past. And then a lot of people are out there, you know, like I was at first where I kind of do better when I have a chip on my shoulder. I'm more motivated when I have a chip on my shoulder and I'm more motivated when people doubt me. And so I would, I would kind of talk trash to myself in order to get myself going. And I thought, well, if I don't, if I stopped talking to myself this way, am I still going to be as motivated? Am I going to be as motivated to create the life that I want to if I don't go ahead and, you know, motivate myself, quote unquote, motivate myself through this type of talking? And what I came to realize is this, is I came up with the phrase positive dissatisfaction, right? Where I am now, life is amazing. Everything's amazing. Life, I had never thought it would be able to get as good as it is. It's literally better than I would have ever thought. 10 years ago almost when I was literally broke and eating

pasta for two months straight because it was the only thing that I could afford from Walmart because it was an $0.88 box of pasta and $1.88 for pasta sauce. I would have never thought that I'd be in the position that I am now. When I almost lost my car because I was five months behind on the payment, when I lost my business. All of those things. Would I have ever thought that I would be in this position now? No. But I thought that there's a possibility that I could be here. So I'm satisfied with where I am. Do I want more? I don't necessarily want more material things or any of that. But I want to grow more. I want to become more. I want to see what else there is for me and how great I can possibly become. So I live in the state of positive dissatisfaction. I am so freaking grateful,

positive for what I do have. I love it, but I am dissatisfied with where I am because I know there is so much more for me. So if you're out there and you're one of those people that's motivated by a chip on your shoulder, motivated by someone telling you you can't, motivated by these things, motivated by a chip on your shoulder, motivated by someone telling you you can't, motivated by these things, you can still be positively dissatisfied with where you are, but still build yourself up along the process.

So if you're out there, the number one key that I'll give you to better self-talk is to start to realize that you need to talk to yourself the same way that you would talk to someone that you love. You know, if you had a friend that called you up and they said, oh yeah, I just went on a date. And you're like, oh, how was the first date? Yeah. You know, at the end of the date, he told me that, you know, he didn't want to see me again. And then your friend, you know, say, say that your, uh, your, your friend calls you up

and says, he said that he wanted to see me again. And, you know, would rather just be friends. Would you go, well, of course he said that because you see me again and you know would rather just be friends would you go well of course he said that because you probably screwed up your makeup again because you probably look like crap because think about all the times that you failed in your past think about all the other relationships you've been in where you've screwed up think about your last boyfriend think about this think about this think about this think about this and you just bash them the entire time of course he walked out on you why would he not walk out you think of all the times that you've screwed up in the past think of all the other people who have left you

because they realized how insecure and worthless you are. Would you ever say that to a friend? No, of course not. So then why the hell would you say it to yourself? You would never talk to a friend the same way you talk to yourself. Whenever something bad happens, what are you supposed to do for a friend? You're supposed to be there.

You're supposed to help him. You're supposed to be the positive person on their shoulder so you can help bring them up to where they should be. So if you're talking down to yourself, you're not bringing yourself up to where you should be. You're pushing yourself down to where you don't want to be. So the number one key that I can give you if you're trying to get better at self-talk is to talk to yourself and only talk to yourself the same way that you would talk to someone that you love. That's what I got for today's episode. So if you liked this episode, please share it with someone that you know and

love. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single time. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and hope that you have an amazing day.