The Mindset Mentor - 3 Keys to Power Self Talk

Episode Date: December 4, 2019

The way you talk to yourself in your head will dictate the reality that you create. That is why it is so important to know HOW to talk to yourself. In this episode, I will teach you my 3 keys to creating powerful self talk and affirmations.Follow me on Instagram for more motivation @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And once again, as always, if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. I want to dive into the way that you talk to yourself in your head and the phrases that you use, the affirmations that you do or do not use, whether they're positive affirmations or negative affirmations, and also incantations as well as what I want to talk about. So the reason why, if I'm being completely honest with you, that we're going over this is because I was listening to Christmas music on my drive this morning

and I got stuck in my head. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and it was stuck. I mean, it's stuck in my head. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and it was stuck. I mean, it's stuck in my, it's still frigging stuck in my head and it's been hours since I was listening to it. And I was, then I, you know, I got home, I've been traveling, I've been, you know, all over the place and finally got home, took a shower and in the shower, I'm singing it to myself. I'm like, oh my God, this is insane. This is literally, I can't get this song out of my head. And I realized that, uh, that sometimes, you know, I'm a really big music fan and I've listened to every type of music you could possibly think of. Like when

people say, Oh yeah, I listen to every type of music. I literally do. Like there'll be times when I'm listening to being Crosby or I'm listening to, you know, the Rat Pack and then next Drake will come on. And then after that Kygo will come on and it's like, it's all over the place. And then Tom Petty and then, you know, Metallica and, and, uh, Pantera and all these different bands. And I've listened to some of the best music in the world, but I've also listened to some of the most popular music in the world. That's very, um, negative in a lot of ways. And I've noticed that that music is basically an affirmation and I'm going to teach you how to create your own affirmations, uh, in this podcast episode. But before I do that, I do want you to think about the music

that you listen to and what you are repeating that they are saying over and over again in your own head. So if you think about it, just think about the music that you listen to. Is it positive music? Is it negative music? Because what it is that you're saying is music is basically an affirmation out loud. It's your repeating lyrics that are affirmations. And whether they're positive or negative, it's completely, you know, dependent on what the song is that you're listening to. And so with that being stuck in my head, I'm thinking to myself, oh my God, what if I had like, you know, I've listened to a lot of really hardcore metal songs and, you know, say that I have a Slipknot song stuck in my head. Slipknot's like, you know, I've listened to a lot of really hardcore metal songs and,

you know, say that I have a Slipknot song sticking my head. Slipknot's a, you know, band that's got some pretty hardcore lyrics and used to listen to them a lot, especially when I worked out and all that stuff and it hadn't stuck in my head. And I thought to myself, man, if I'm listening to that and then I'm repeating it to myself over and over and over and over again, then I'm basically using this as an affirmation in my head. Is it the affirmation that I want to be going on in my head? And that's the first thing that I want before we dive into how to create affirmations and the power of them is, is what is the music that you're listening to like? Because whatever it is that you're listening to is what you're saying in your head and

repeating in your head if you're singing along with it. And then also at the same time, that's the affirmation in a way that you have in your head if you're singing along with it. And then also at the same time, that's the affirmation in a way that you have in your head. So what type of affirmations are you repeating through that music? And, you know, as I'm listening to the beginning, I look a lot like Christmas. It's going through my head. I'm in the shower and I'm thinking about it. I'm like, oh my God, you know, there's so many times that we have subconscious thoughts going on in our head over and over and over and over again. And subconscious, sub basically means below the conscious. It's unconscious to you. So most of the time, you're not even aware

of the stuff that's going on in your head unless you take a moment, like listening to this podcast, and you start thinking about yourself a little bit more. And then you take a moment with a pen and a paper and you ask yourself, what is it that's actually running through my head all the time? What are the positive or negative things that I'm repeating over and over and over again on a daily basis? And just like it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas is stuck in my head,

it's also that way for a lot of people because they've been saying to themselves negative things, negative self-talk their entire life. So instead of it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, people are saying stuff in their head like, man, you're so stupid. Why do you always screw up? Does that hit home with anybody out there? Or man, you don't, you know, why do you always mess this up? Or why? And it's always something along the lines of never being good enough, right? Why do you always do this? Why do you always act this way? You're so stupid. You're, you, you always mess this up. Why do people trust you? People shouldn't be able to trust you. And you just talk down to yourself and down to yourself. And you're saying

it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. And it's literally like a song that's stuck in your head. That number one, you probably haven't even identified in most cases. And if you have, you don't know how to get it out of your head. And that's what we need to dive into is how do we identify number one? First thing, how do we identify what the actual things are that you're saying? And that, what you need to do is you need to stop looking at your phone for an hour. You need to sit down with a pen and paper, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and just think like, what is the stuff that I say to myself? And you start writing it down. You take a quick, you know, meditation, you chill, you hang out. And then after you get done with that, a quick, you know, meditation, you chill, you hang out.

And then after you get done with that, you go, you know what? I'm going to sit down and journal. I'm going to start to actually think about the thoughts, the conscious or unconscious thoughts that are going on in my head. Because it's so important because I'm going to become the person that I say that I am in my head. Or I'm going to create the life that I think that I'm worth. And if you don't think that you're worth enough, then you're going to create a life that mirrors that.

And so you have to really sit and think with yourself, sit down and say, what is the stuff that I say to myself? Think about that for a second. What is the stuff that you say to yourself inside of your own head? That's the first question I want you to kind of dive into. And the second thing that I want you to dive into is go, you know what? What do I want it to be? What do I want my thoughts to be in my head? And you actually start to write them down. And that's where affirmations come in.

Because if I'm going to be repeating something, if I'm going to have a song stuck in my head, basically of the way I'm speaking to myself, then I want to make sure that I am saying the right things to myself, then I want to make sure that I am saying the right things to myself. And the reason why is because, like I said, you are going to create that version of yourself in your head. If you have something where you always say, man, why do you always screw up relationships or something? Well, if I were to say that over and over again, if you're saying that over and over again, then what's happening is you're going to continue to screw up relationships because that is in complete alignment with who you think that

you are, because that's the way that you talk to yourself in your head. Does that make sense? You have to think about that and go, Oh, I'm, I'm actually, because of the things that I'm saying in my head, I'm creating that version of myself over and over and over again. So the first question, if you have a pen and paper, jot this down. What is, what, like, what do I want to be saying in my head? What do I want to be saying in my head to myself? And what we're going to do is we're going to create our own affirmations. And there's a whole lot of power. And I don't need to dive into the reasons why, but, you know, there's religious reasons.

There's a lot of spiritual texts that talk about the phrase, I am, you know, pretty much every spiritual book has something about saying the phrase phrase I am, you know, pretty much every spiritual book has something about saying the phrase I am, you know? And so when you start an affirmation, it needs to have I am blank, right? It could be one word. It could be three or four words after that. I am blank. A lot of the times people in their heads are saying, I am so stupid. I am so bad in relationships. I am so bad at this. I'm always screwing up this. You know, I am, I am, I am. And then it's negative. And what I always say, and if you've listened to my podcast in the past, is that the most important phrase in the entire language, any language that you speak

is I am blank because you will create that in your life because that is what you believe. So if you're saying, I am not smart enough, I am stupid, I am terrible in relationships, I am, you know, a bad person, I'm a bad mother, I'm a bad father, I am not good enough, whatever it is that you're saying over and over again, that's what you're going to be creating. So why don't we get that song that's stuck in your head out of your head and break it and make another one for you. Wouldn't that be a good idea? that's stuck in your head out of your head and break it and make another one for you. Wouldn't that be a good idea? So let's go ahead and dive in to the three keys,

the things that you need. And this is, you know, nobody's ever taught this. This is just, nobody's ever taught this to me. It's just something that I've learned in working with, you know, thousands of clients is that these are the three keys that I really find help the most when you're trying to create your affirmations. So each person who's listening to this podcast, tens of thousands of you are going to have different affirmations in some sort of way, but you need to sit down and create your own affirmation. I am blank. And here's the three keys to creating an affirmation. Number one, it needs to be present tense. Okay. It needs to be present tense. Um, for needs to be present tense. For instance, I shall, I'll build one with you as I go through.

Number one is it needs to be present tense. Number two is it needs to be empowering. And number three, it needs to be true. Okay. So it needs to be present tense, empowering and true. And the reason why true has to be in there is because if you've ever heard of affirmations before, you've probably seen them in movies like The Secret, which is, you know, I would say it's a good movie. It was a life-changing movie for me when I saw the movie The Secret. But what I quickly realized is there was a lot of missing parts in it. And it was stuff like, you know, you'd sit down and if you want to

make more money, you'd say, you'd sit down and say, I am, you know, I believe that the world is bringing, I am open to new open to, to new ways of, of money flowing to me from all parts of the universe. And you sit down, you're supposed to say this to you. And then you wake up and you just have, they make it seem like you say this to yourself over and over again. And then you just wake up and you have money in your bank account, which doesn't happen that way. Cause you got to take action. You got to get up and start doing stuff. Right. So, you know, it's, it's not this thing where you woo, woo, we sit around and just hope that it happens. It's that you, you basically are brainwashing yourself into who you want to be in the life that you want.

You're saying it over and over and over and over again. And then what you're doing is you're going out and creating it. But you're basically trying to brainwash yourself into believing what it is that you're saying. And if you say something over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, eventually you will believe it 100%. There's actually a really famous quote from somebody that says if, you know, a lot of you guys have been saying a lot of really bad things you have for a long time. And there's a famous quote that from, you know, somebody who said a lot of bad things.

And he says, if you tell a lie big enough, long enough, and strong enough, eventually people will believe you, right? If you tell a lie big enough, long enough, and strong enough enough eventually people will believe you right if you tell a lie big enough long enough and strong enough eventually people will believe you and that person was hitler and he just that's what that's what he did he's told lie big enough long enough and strong enough and eventually people started to believe him some of you guys are kind of like the quote unquote hitler of your own mind where you've been lying to yourself for so long that you now believe the things that you say about yourself even if they aren true. So why don't we try to actually start saying things to ourself that we want to bring out of ourself? And in the way that you do that, you say

present tense, empowering and true. And so you say, okay, instead of sitting down like the secret says and saying, you know, money's flowing to me from all areas of my life and blah, blah, blah. You know, the universe is conspiring to be on my side, which cool. It's not wrong to believe in those things. But what I like to do is I like to sit there and go, okay, well, I don't have any money at this point because I've been at the point where I've sat there and been really broke and said, okay, money's flowing to me from all areas of my life. And I'm there. The BS meter, my brain's going, no, bro, you're,. You're broke. Money's not flowing to you. And so then I thought to myself, how can I turn this into something else? And this is years ago

when I noticed it in myself, when I noticed my BS meter going off and I was like trying to basically quote unquote attract money. And in doing so, my BS meter was like, no, that's not true. And I know that a lot of people have sat there and your BS meter has gone off whenever you start to dive into the affirmations. And so it needs to be present tense, empowering and true. So instead of saying, I'm sitting here and money is flowing freely to me from all areas of the universe, is you sit there and you say, okay, present tense, empowering, true. How can I take that same affirmation, the result that I'm trying to get from the other affirmation, which is money in my bank account, and how can I quote unquote brainwash myself into creating the money that I want? Okay, let's take that same thing and let's try to change a little

bit. And I will say, I am working really hard every single day to create $200,000 in my bank account. Doesn't that one seem a little bit better? Because number one, it's present tense. I am working. I am working is present tense. I am working hard every single day to create $200,000 in my bank account or whatever it is, $100,000 for the year. I'm working really hard every moment of every weekday to make $100,000 this year in 2020, whatever it is for you guys, right? Present tense, empowering, true. Would you say it's present tense? It is. Would you say it's empowering? Yes. Would you say it's true? Yes, because I am working really hard at it. And if

you haven't been working hard at it, you're now brainwashing yourself into working really hard at it. So it's present tense. It's empowering. It's in true. And it's true as well. Instead of saying something like, um, a brand new relationship is flowing from the universe to my life and I will find the love of my life soon. Whatever, you know, like there's a lot of affirmations. If you guys have ever been in, in, in the herd, people say affirmations. Sometimes you're laughing because you're like, oh yeah, I've, I've basically heard that. So let's say something like that. It's like, I'm going to work on myself and do the things that I enjoy every day to find my perfect partner that's working on themselves and doing what they want to do. Because essentially what you're doing is if you're going to find the perfect version of a partner for yourself,

they're probably doing the things that you enjoy. You probably have the same hobbies, so you can go and do the same stuff, right? And so if you're working on yourself every day and doing the things that you enjoy every day, you're probably going to find that person there. And if you set the intention of wanting to find that in person while you're doing these things, you'll find them. Maybe not right away. It might take months, six months, a year, two years. There's no real way to know, but eventually you will get what you're trying to get.

And it's present tense, isn't it? It is. Is it empowering? Yeah, it is. And it's true. Where instead of saying, it's just flowing to me because us in our Western minds are like, I need to see, I'm analytical. I need to see the results.

And it's hard for me to sit here and go, you know, I've got money in my bank account when I know I don't have any freaking money inside of my bank account, right? Like I've been there before at that point. But it is easy for me to go, you know what? I'm working really hard every single day to get $100,000 this year. I'm working really hard every single day to get to $250,000, whatever it is. That's present tense is empowering. It's true.

And what I would do is this, is I would create three affirmations, create three affirmations. And what I would do is I would read them to yourself as many times you can throughout the day, but at least five times in the morning and at least five times in the evening. Okay. Write that down real quick. At least five times in the morning, at least five times in the evening. And you're basically trying to say this, but if I were you, I would play this song over and over and over and over and over and over again. Because if you say it long enough, strong enough, people are going to start to believe you. You're going to start to believe this. You're going to start to believe

that you actually can achieve the things that you want to achieve versus the programming that's been inside of your head about how you're not good enough. You're rewiring the system from what it was to what you want it to be. So you come up with three different affirmations. Don't come up with 200 of them,

but make it start with I am. And then it could be powerful. I am grateful if you want to. It could be something like that. Or it could be I am working really hard on myself every single day to be able to find the perfect version, to be ready for the perfect version of a partner whenever they show up in my life. Right? That's more empowering. Present tense, it's empowering. It's true. And so you come up with three of them. Starts with I am. It's present tense, it's empowering, and it's true. Now, if you want to take it one step further, you can turn this into an incantation. Incantation is an affirmation with intensity. Place I love to do incantations in my head, and sometimes if I'm all alone at the gym,

is in the gym, is I will, you know, if I'm trying to, you know, become powerful through these muscular movements, I will say, I am becoming powerful. Every know, if I'm trying to, you know, become powerful in through these muscular movements, I will say I am becoming powerful. Every single rep, I'm powerful. I am powerful. I am powerful. I am powerful. I am powerful. And then I say it to myself hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times because you have hundreds of reps in one workout. And if you're on a Stairmaster and you say, I'm getting stronger, I'm getting stronger, I'm getting stronger, I'm getting stronger with every single step that you take at the Stairmaster, you can say that to yourself a few hundred times, literally while just

being on the Stairmaster. And then you decide that you're going to do some squats. And every time that you go do some squats, I'm becoming stronger. I'm becoming stronger. I am strong. I am powerful, whatever it is. And you're using your physical body. And if you're all alone, then you can go ahead and you can use this, you know, say it out loud in the gym, but you can also say it in your head if you need to. And you can take those affirmations, use your physical body into it, and it becomes an incantation. It's more powerful when the body is involved, not just the mind and the voice. And so what's awesome about this is that you're literally more powerful in the fact that you're diving into these affirmations by using them as incantations. So if you're at your desk, you know, you're at work, don't go

do some pushups if you want to, you could be great. But if you're sitting there and you're like, I am, I'm grateful for this beautiful life that I have. I'm grateful for this beautiful life that I have. I'm grateful for this beautiful life that I have. And you just, you just say something like that because you notice that you're too stressed out lately. You're not focusing on the things that are amazing in your life. Then that right there will start to reprogram. You'll start to feel better about yourself, start to be happier, start to be more grateful. But if you're at the gym and you want to do some incantations, which are affirmations of movement, do them. Rewire that brain of yours. But the important thing is to first off, figure out what it is that you've

been saying to yourself for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years. What is it that you've been saying? What are these lies you've been telling to yourself? And what are the three new ones that you want to create? And how can you say them at least five times every single morning and at least five times every single evening? But if I were you, I would say it over and over and over and over again, because just like a song, just like it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. What if you had, I am grateful for this beautiful life that I have every single day. I'm grateful for this beautiful life that I've ever seen. I'm great.

And you say it thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of times. Guess what? You're going to start rewiring your brain for gratitude. And you're going to start enjoying your life more, noticing the beautiful things in your life, more than going to be noticing the negative things in your life. So figure out what your three are. Make sure they start with I am.

Make sure they're present tense. Make sure they're empowering. And make sure they're true. So that right there, ladies and gentlemen, is how you create the perfect affirmation. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode.

Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing, amazing day.