The Mindset Mentor - 3 Questions to Reprogram Your Mind

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

If you want to change your life, you must first change your mindset. In this episode, I will give you 3 questions to work through so that you can reprogram yourself the way that you want to be programmed. Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dylann. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you've ever gotten any value from this podcast, do me a favor, go over to Apple Podcasts and give us a rating or review. It helps the podcast grow more than you know. It'll take you 30 seconds. Please do it right now. I would greatly, greatly appreciate from the bottom of my heart. Today, I'm going to give you three questions to reprogram your mind. And this is super important because I want you to realize every single person listening to me

right now, including myself, we're all programmed as we're children. And I don't mean in a bad way because when you think someone's programmed, it sounds like there's some evil scientist or hacker that's programming you to be a certain way. We're all programmed by our parents, by society, by people that we're close to. We're programmed. And from zero to seven years old, we are the most like a sponge. It just comes in. We don't question it. And we just do what we're supposed to do. We say we're supposed to say. We act as we're supposed to do. We say we're supposed to say. We act as we're supposed to act. And really what more than anything else is we're taught what to do.

You know, our parents will teach us what to do. But then also even more than being taught what to do is we see what to do as well. Out of everything that you know and everything that you've learned, some of it is taught to you. The majority of it is you as a child watching things happen and go, oh, this is how I'm supposed to act in this situation. This is how I'm supposed to act in this situation. This is how I'm supposed to treat someone that's a man. And this is how I'm supposed to treat someone that's a woman. And we're literally taught things by our parents.

But more than anything else, if you've ever gotten older like me, then you go, oh my God, that's exactly like my mom. Oh my God, that's exactly like my dad. It's not that they taught you exactly how to be that way. It's that literally we become our parents in certain ways, just simply off of what we see. And so it's not just your parents, it's society, it's your teachers, it's your family, your brother, sister, everybody that's around you. And the thing about this is that these develop our core beliefs. They develop our core beliefs of what we think of ourselves, of what we think of other people, of what we think of society. But there's a little bit of a problem with that. As we get older, we start to wonder why we feel at different ends with ourselves. I don't know about you, but there's been times where I think

something and I'm like, I don't know where that thought came from. There's times where I do something, I'm like, where did it even come from? And I don't know about you, but there's sometimes where I'm literally almost having an argument in my own head where I'm like, at two ends of a situation where it's like, you know, we all want to do something amazing with our lives, right? We all want to have amazing lives and be successful and have happiness and joy and all of the amazing things that we could possibly have and success and money and travel and freedom and all of these things. But then sometimes we hold ourselves back from all of it. Even though we want it, we hold ourselves back from it. And we have a conversation in our head of like,

I really want this, but I'm not going to do it. I really want this, but I'm not good enough. I really want this, but I'm not smart enough. But as we get older, we start to realize that there's almost like two of us. I have a friend that said there's like eight of him in his head, right? And the problem is as we get older, we realize that we're kind of at ends with ourself. And we don't know why we feel so weird. We don't know why. It's almost like, I don't know if you've ever felt this way, where it's almost like, I feel like who I've become is not like really who I truly am. I feel like something's wrong with me. And I think this happens with a lot of people.

I think this is why people go through a midlife crisis is they wake up one day and they realize that they did everything that they were quote unquote supposed to do. They were a good boy and girl in school. They got good grades. They went to college. They graduated from college. They got a job. They got married. They had kids. They bought a house. And then they wake up at 45 years old and like, what the hell is this life? Like, I love my family. I love everything. But at the same time, like this isn't exactly what I wanted. Where did this come from? And that's why people have midlife crises because you realize that the life you built isn't a hundred percent the life that you wanted. It's kind of what you were expected or told or learned that you were supposed to

actually create. And so we feel like there's something wrong with us because it's like, we've created a life, but that's not sometimes our true self. And so there's who we've always been. And then we start to question who we actually truly are. And that's really the journey of self-development is it's almost like sometimes we're living someone else's life. And the only way to really find yourself is to get lost first. And there's a certain time where a lot of people wake up and they realize that they've lost themselves. They don't know who they are. And it's about rediscovering, or maybe even just discovering for the first time, who you are, what you want, what you want to do. And we're living someone else's life sometimes. We're not living our truths. We're doing what our parents told us we should do. We marry who we're supposed to marry. We study in school. We're supposed to do it and study in school. We take the job that

we're supposed to take. Maybe not the one that we really wanted, but we followed one for money. And we live the life that society wants us to live. And we get a job for money, but not because of passion. And what happens is we start to realize that we've been programmed a certain way. Nothing wrong with that. I think that's just the way that life goes. And you have to start thinking about your own core beliefs. And what's interesting is you think that your beliefs are your own, but the majority of your beliefs are coming from somebody else when you were younger. And so you start going, what are my actual beliefs, right? This could kind of fuck you up a little bit, I'll be honest with you, but it's also the path of rediscovering who you truly are,

like I said before, discovering who you truly are. We take core beliefs from our parents. We take core beliefs from our teachers. We take core beliefs from our family. We take core beliefs from our religion. And what we think about ourselves and other people around us aren't even really our beliefs about ourselves and other people around us. And there's an interesting fact that I found when I was researching. 70% to 80% of our core beliefs, according to psychologists, are negative. Where the hell does that come from? Why are 70% to 80% of our core beliefs, according to psychologists, are negative. Where the hell does that come from? Why are 70 to 80% of our core beliefs, according to psychologists, about ourselves, negative? We think things in our head, whether it's consciously or subconsciously, or it's just a story or a program running in the background of, I don't deserve love, or I'm not good enough, or I'm not smart enough, or I'm not

pretty enough, or I'm not fit enough, or I'll never smart enough, or I'm not pretty enough, or I'm not fit enough, or I'll never be in shape because my family's out of shape, or the world is dangerous. People at their core are bad. People can't be trusted. I'll never amount to anything. I'm worthless. And people have these core beliefs that are negative. So it's really hard to step into a positive life when you have this program running on in the background that isn't true, but it comes from somewhere. Who knows where the hell it comes from that's negative. And they persist because it's programmed into us as a child. Once again, nobody's doing this as this evil, sinister thing. It just happens to be, I don't even know why, just happens to be the way that the world is and the way that we tend to grow up a lot of times.

And as a child, we're really like a sponge with no questioning. Whenever something happens, it just gets stored away. If somebody has an abusive parent, they don't think, as a child, if you have an abusive parent, you don't think, oh, what's wrong with them? Children don't think that if they have an abusive parent.

They think, what's wrong with me. And you have to realize there's no questioning. It's a sponge. It's just going straight in a lot of times. If you have a mother who's anxious and she's worrying and she's fearful, the child is usually going to grow up anxious and worried and fearful and scared. And I have friends that luckily my mom was never a fearful person. I've had friends where I realized that their mom just programmed them to be fearful, not because she meant to,

but because she was so fearful all the time. The child literally thought to himself and grew up into somebody that I'm friends with, multiple people I'm friends with, of like, people can't be trusted. The world is a scary place. And that's a scary thing to think that at all points in time.

I can't trust anybody around me. And then what happens is, for a lot of my friends, not a lot, a few of my friends what's happened is they move out of the house and the mother calls them every single day. I know some of you, a lot of you listening have this happen to you.

Mother calls you every single day. She tells you about all of the crazy shit that's happening on the news. And she tells you this because she wants to quote unquote protect you. She's telling you this because she quote unquote loves you is what she says. But really what happens is she's disguising her fear as love. And that's an anxious person that has grown up to, raised somebody to be grown up into an anxious, worried person as well. raised somebody to be grown up into an anxious, worried person as well. And so both the children and the parent start to grow up and subconsciously repeat the same things to themselves, right? Perfect example that I love is I've gotten messages and I'm not going to stop cussing

because it's just my truth. It's not because I want to sound like anybody else. It's not because I want to sound cool. It's not because I want to offend anybody. It's because I actually love cussing, if I'm just being honest. But I've had people send me messages. I've had people give me negative reviews because I cuss. And it's like, really think about that for a second. A cuss word is just a sound coming out of somebody's face. Why is a sound coming out of somebody's face offensive to another person? Because somebody down the road said, this is bad. And somebody took that on as quote unquote, their truth. What's the difference between me saying unicorn and me saying shit? There is no difference. It's just a sound coming out of my face. And so you start to really realize as you go deeper into this. And once again,

it might kind of mess you up a little bit because you'll start thinking, where did this come from? Where did this come from? Where did this come from? But as you start thinking this, you're like, oh my God, I don't really hate cuss words. The problem is my mom hates cuss words. And she told me that unintelligent people hate cuss words. And that's why I've been staying away from them. And so you have to just kind of think about that. You can't give up your own personal freedom and the way that you feel based off of a sound that comes out of somebody's face. You know, there's a great quote by Viktor Frankl, who was a psychologist who lived through Auschwitz in Nazi prison camps.

And he says, between stimulus and response, there's a space. And if you can master that space, you can master your life. Hey, if you're looking for some higher class accessories for your iPhone, for your iPad, or for all your electronics, you need to check out Nomad. Nomad started as a Kickstarter project back in 2012 with the goal of building ultra rugged and minimalistic accessories for the 21st century that actually look great. They're based in Santa Barbara, California, and Nomad makes mobile accessories that not only look good, but they're there when you need them the most. And over the past nine years, Nomad has expanded to offer a wide range of mobile accessories to fit any iPhone cases, to Apple Watches, to straps, to wireless chargers, ultra-durable cables, and even premium wallets and passport holders that they've crafted from

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slash dial to see what living the nomad life is all about. That's N-O-M-A-D-G-O-O-D-S.com slash dial. Hey, did you know that companies around the world produce over 2 billion pounds of new plastic every single day? Yet no matter how much we put into our recycling bin, only 9% of it actually gets recycled. At Grove Collaborative, they believe it's time to stop making single-use plastic. Grove is an online marketplace that delivers healthy home, beauty, and personal care products directly to you. It takes all of the guesswork out of going green. Every product is guaranteed to be good for you, for your family, for your home, and for the planet. And we've got some great non-toxic cleaning products that we've been using from Grove in our house, and we use them all the

time to clean all the surfaces in our place. So join over 2 million households who choose to shop sustainably at Grove. Plus, shipping is fast and it's free for your first order. Choosing products that are better for you and the planet has never been easier. And for a limited time, when my listeners go to grove.com slash dial, you'll get to choose a free starter set with your first order. That's grove, G-R-O-V-E.com slash dial for this exclusive offer. That's grove.com slash dial. And what he means by that is between something happening and your response, you have the opportunity to choose how exactly you want to respond.

And at this point in time, at that point in time, you can actually decide who you want to be, how you want to act. And that's where you take back your own personal, real, true core beliefs. You start figuring out who you are, you know, and you start to think about all of the things that are in there that aren't your full truths. And that's what we're going to talk about with these three questions. But before I give you the questions, I want to ask you a question. I want you to really think about this for a second. If cuss words, if that resonates with you or the way that you think about yourself resonates with you or being anxious or fearful coming from your parents resonates for you, before I give you the questions, what core beliefs

are you building into yourself from your childhood? Think about that for a second. What core beliefs do you continue to hold onto from your childhood that might not even be your truth? And then for those of you that have children, I don't want to mess you up, but what core beliefs are you building into your children consciously and unconsciously? What do you want them to be? What do you want your children's core beliefs to really be? So if you're like, you know what? I am anxious a lot around my children. It's not necessarily who I am. It just happens to be what I got from my mom. Do I want to pass that along to my children? Not really. I don't really want to pass it along to them. Okay. So then what are the core beliefs that I want to pass on to my children? And how can I start to show up in a way as the parent who is

the solid, as a rock foundation for them, acting the way that I want to act, acting the way that I want my children to see me act so therefore they grow up to be the same way as well, so that they can find their true core beliefs. And so there's three questions that are really important that you can ask yourself as you go through this journey and start to figure out a little bit more about yourself and what's going on and where these things might come from. So if you notice yourself, and maybe one of the things I've said so far, whether it's curse words, whether it's the fear and anxiety, whether it's the thought of not being good enough, not being smart enough, whatever it is.

If you notice that you're like, I don't know if that's necessarily me. Like if we take cuss words as an example, right? I don't know if I really care about cuss words, but I've been told I'm supposed to care about them. So the first question you want to ask yourself is where did I learn this? Where did I learn this? And you might say, okay, well, cuss words, like I said a little while

ago, my mom always said that unintelligent people use cuss words. Is that necessarily true? Like, is it really actually true? Or is that something that my mom said to make me not cuss as a child because she wanted me to quote unquote sound smart or because she didn't want me to cuss? Because those are adult words, right? Those are adult words. So where did I learn this from? Identify the place where you found out that you were supposed to act that way or you weren't supposed to act that way. Where did I learn this? That's the very first question. Okay. Now that you've identified where it came from, and hopefully you guys are doing this along with me. Now that I've identified where this came from, question number two is, what is my truth? What is my truth? Is my truth that I think cuss words are offensive? Or is that just something that's been programmed into me?

Is that my truth? Is it your truth? Is it your truth that cuss words are offensive to you? Is it your truth that the world is fearful and that people are here to screw you over and people are inherently bad or whatever it is that might've been programmed into you? Is that your truth? Ask yourself that question. Is it my truth?

Here's what's crazy. The majority of the time, you're gonna find out that this is not your truth in any sort of way. And then the third question you're going to ask yourself is, what do I choose to believe? What do I choose to believe? Not what did my parents told me I'm supposed to believe?

Not what does society tells me that I'm supposed to believe? What am I supposed to do? What did my brother and sister tell me? You know, it drives me crazy because I see so many people that send me so many messages about how they've lived a life for 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years that isn't even their life. It's somebody else's life.

And then one day they wake up and they're like, what the fuck have I been doing? Like, what am I doing? What am I actually doing? This isn't what I want to be doing. And I've built a life that isn't my life. And every single person, whether they're 20, whether they're 25, 30, 60, 50,

whatever it is, every single person thinks that it's too late to make a change. And it's never too late to make a change. And so the question that I have for you is what do you choose to believe? What do you choose to believe in all of those things? Do you choose to believe that people are inherently bad? Or is that just something that your parents programmed into you as a safety mechanism to make sure that you didn't run off when you were a little kid? What is it? What do you choose to believe? And so those are the three questions that you want to bring yourself through to reprogram your own mind into the way that you want to program yourself, not the way that you've been programmed. Once again, when I say program, guys, it's not that your parents were like, ooh, let's try to make this child exactly what we want. They're like a chemist that's sitting in the background. It's just that

that's the way they were raised, or that's what they learned, and that's what they were programmed with. And that's fine. It's not a big deal. You can get past it, though. And so I'm not trying to place blame on anybody. I do want to make sure I'm very, very clear on that. There's no blame. I'm not pissed off at anybody because of the way that I popped out and the way that I am, right? It's like the phrase that we always say, you know, Will Smith said in a video not too long ago, it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility. It's not your fault that you are the way that you are. You were raised that way. You know, if you have certain quote unquote beliefs that you thought were your true beliefs and now you're starting to realize that they're not, well, it's not your fault that you are the way that you are, but it is your responsibility to change yourself into who

you want to be. That is your absolute freaking responsibility. Don't act like it's not. Don't blame anybody else. Don't blame your parents. Don't blame the government. Don't blame the president. Don't blame politics. Don't blame any of that shit. It's our responsibility to build our life into who we want to be. Now that we've woken up from our programming, it's our job to reprogram ourselves. So where did I learn this was question number one. Question number two is what is my truth? And question number three is what do I choose to believe? And this can go against a lot of things, guys. This can go through a lot of different parts of your life. This can go through your family. This can go into your religion? Maybe you were raised with a religion that

you don't believe in, but it's kind of like, you know, when you're raised into a religion, I was raised into a religion that I don't follow anymore. But when you're raised into a religion, you really feel like it is the core of life. The same way that if I ask every single person right now, what color is the sky? You're all going to say blue. Every single person is going to say blue. It's a fact. You're going to say blue. Every single person is going to say blue. It's a fact. You're going to say blue because that's what we were taught. So what if I were to tell you it's green? You'd be like, there's absolutely no way. It's blue. It's blue. It's blue. Because we've always been told it's blue. It's blue. It's blue. So then when you start to question parts of your

religion, it's like saying that the sky is green because it is literally the foundation of who you are. And so you can ask yourself, where did I learn this from? Is it my truth? And what do I choose to believe? It might, you know, start to ruffle some feathers and might mess up the foundation of what you built your life on. But really what it is, is you're supposed to build the foundation of your life on the way that you want to build your life. I want you to live a life that you want to live, not the life that you were told you were supposed to live or that you feel that you're supposed to live. You know, you might start thinking about some of the relationships that you're in and thinking to yourself, is he the type of relationships that I want to be in, that I want to stay in? You might start thinking about the career that you're in and be like, is this actually

what I want to do with my life? Or is this just something that I followed for money? Guys, I heard a great quote that I'm going to remember till the day that I die. And people always think like, oh, you know, I'll be so much happier. My problems will be solved when I make money. And the quote was, the only problems that money solves are money problems. And I was like, oh my God, that's the most true thing I've ever heard. Is, you know, if you're broke now and you become rich, the only thing that that's going to solve in your entire life, the only problem it's going to solve is the fact that you're not broke anymore. That's it. Everything else is exactly the same. You're still going to have all of the exact same problems. And so maybe you don't want the job that you want.

And I'm not saying you have to leave it today, but can you make a plan to transition out of it in the next two years or three years so that you can start to build the life that you want to? Maybe you start looking at your family and start readjusting the way that you raise your kids, the way that you talk to your spouse, the way that you talk to yourself. And you start to really reprogram and rebuild your life into the way that you want to build your life. And if you find a place where your core beliefs don't line up with your truth, make a plan to get past that. When you find a place where your core beliefs, and when I say core beliefs, this isn't who you truly are. This is what you were taught to be. Don't line up with your truth of who you really feel that you are. Make a plan to get past that because it's your

responsibility to build a life that you want. It's nobody else's responsibility. So those are the three questions reprogramming mind. Where did I learn this? What is my truth? And what do I choose to believe? So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor, share this on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Also, if you're not following me on Instagram, you might as well follow me on Instagram if you want to see some of my travels throughout Italy. I'm in Italy the next five weeks and travel with my girlfriend and then my girlfriend flies back and then I'm going to be traveling with my mom. I'm flying my mom out here and we're going to travel for a little bit. So if you want to vicariously live through me

and my travels in Italy, come along on the journey, people. We can all hang out in Italy together. But with that, I'm going to leave it the same way. I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. I seriously appreciate all of you more than you know

for listening and for growing and for being the type of people who want to make yourself better because you are the people that are changing the world. So I appreciate you all, and I hope that you have an amazing day.