The Mindset Mentor - 5 Keys to Stop Overthinking

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. If you're out there and you love this podcast, please give us a rating and review however you listen to us. The more positive rating and reviews that we get, the more that Spotify and Apple Podcasts show this to people who have never listened to this podcast before, because they say, hey, this must be popular. People seem to like it. So we'll show it to some other people. And that way the podcast grows, the message grows, and more lives are impacted. So if you would do that for me, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Today, I'm going to be giving you five keys to stop overthinking.

Starting point is 00:00:46 Now, here's one thing I want to say before we talk about overthinking is when you say you want to stop overthinking, what you really mean is you want to stop overthinking all of the bad stuff that you overthink. Don't you? That's what you really mean. Because if your mind was constantly thinking, oh my, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for her being in my life. I'm so grateful for her being in my life. I'm so grateful for the money in my bank account.

Starting point is 00:01:09 I'm so grateful for all of the challenges and the struggles. I'm just so damn grateful for every single thing. You would not want to stop overthinking. You're overthinking all the bad things. That's what you want to stop overthinking. You want to stop overthinking the bad things. Now, I want to say this real quick. Let me ask you a question and you can answer it out loud. I won't be able to hear it obviously, but you can answer it out loud. Do you want your heart

Starting point is 00:01:32 to stop beating? No. Why? Because you're going to die, right? Do you want your lungs to stop breathing? No. Well, because you're going to die, right? So, but that's what they were made to do, No. Well, because you're going to die, right? So, but that's what they were made to do, right? Your heart was made to beat. Your lungs were made to breathe. What is your brain made to do? Think. It's made to think. The problem is not that it's thinking. The problem is what you're thinking about. Now, let me explain your brain real quick so you can get an idea of the benefit of overthinking. There is a benefit to overthinking. Does it benefit you right now? It doesn't. But does it benefit you and our ancestors 100,000 years ago? Absolutely. Because overthinking is a defense mechanism. Your brain is this incredible piece of machinery that can forecast the future, but it forecasts the future

Starting point is 00:02:26 automatically. You can forecast the future the way that you want it to be, but if you don't, your brain's going to automatically do it. The question is, is it forecasting the future for all of the positive things that could happen, all of the amazing things that could happen, or is it forecasting all of the quote-un unquote negative? It's usually forecasting the negative. Why? To keep you safe. Overthinking is a defense mechanism. Your brain is naturally going to go towards the negative to try to protect you. So if you feel like you're overthinking too much, you have to get more intentional about what your thoughts are. You have to get more intentional about what your thoughts are. You have to get more intentional about the things that are coming into your head and you're thinking about. Most people,

Starting point is 00:03:10 if I'm being honest, they don't really pay attention to what's going on in their head. And then what happens is they're like, oh my God, I can't stop overthinking. I'm so sad. I'm so mad. I'm so depressed. All of these things. And it's like, hey, what if you were to just take a step back and ask yourself, what am I thinking about most? Because what you're thinking about most, your thoughts create your feelings. So if you don't feel good, the first thing to do is to think about your thoughts, right? It is a defense mechanism. And so if you understand that before we go in, you can actually kind of be a little bit grateful for your overthinking because it kept you alive, kept your species alive, all of that stuff. But it doesn't mean that it has to go forward with us into the future. So let me give you those five

Starting point is 00:03:52 keys now that we've talked about that. Number one, step number one is to develop self-awareness, awareness in everything. Awareness is so powerful. And one of the things that I say all the time is that when you're in the jar, you can't read the label. One of the problems that we have as humans is that we're in our own heads too much. At some point in time, you need to take yourself out of your own head and look at yourself as if you're looking at another human. Not yourself, but take all of the emotion at it and look at yourself and be like, what's this person thinking about? Why is this person sad? Why is this person so stressed out? Why is this person in tears right now? And you look at yourself, you take yourself out of the jar, because when you're out of the jar, you can look at the

Starting point is 00:04:35 label and you're like, oh, that person's so stressed out because they won't stop thinking about this, this, and this. Okay, if they want something about this, this, and this, is there a solution to this, this, and this? What you start doing is you start planning it out on a piece of paper. You take all of the things that are going on in your head. I don't know how many times in the SA&M podcast episode, take all of the shit that's going on in your head and put it on a freaking piece of paper because it makes it so much easier to plan. When it's on paper, it can be planned. You would never take a complex math problem and try to solve it in your head. Why would you take this infinitely complex life problem that you have with a million different circumstances and feelings and thoughts and people and all that stuff and try to

Starting point is 00:05:14 figure it out in your head? Put it on a piece of paper. But the first thing you need to do is develop the self-awareness and actually start going, hey, what am I thinking about? Why do I think this way? What am I feeling? Why is this person acting like this? And just act like you're another person. When you're in the jar, you can't read the label. So take yourself out of the jar, read the label, and develop the self-awareness to start figuring yourself out. So that's the first thing, develop self-awareness. Number two, stop trying to be perfect. You're not going to be perfect. You're perfectly imperfect. You're fucked up. I'm fucked up. We're all fucked up. It's just the way that it goes. It's okay though. We're just, everyone's just trying to figure this thing out.

Starting point is 00:05:54 I woke up this morning and I was thinking about that when I was, when I was drinking coffee, I was like, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm just trying to figure this life out. And then I was like, nobody knows what they're doing. I can ask my friends that are in their thirties if they know what they're doing. I can ask my mom who just turned 70 if she knows what she's doing. Nobody knows what they're doing. We're all just trying our best. So stop trying to be perfect. You know, we have Instagram and on Instagram and TikTok, you can see as people that edit themselves and make themselves look perfect. And they can put up photos on Instagram, fully Photoshopped. You'll never be perfect. You'll never be perfect. I remember one of the biggest life lessons I got was actually my

Starting point is 00:06:30 very first tattoo. It's on my arm right here. And it's my dad's handwriting blown up on my arm. And it says, live your life with courage, love, and laughter. And it's from a letter that he wrote to my sister. And I never got a tattoo before. And I got the tattoo. And then the next day I woke up and looked at it and I freaked out because I was like, this thing is so sloppy because it's my dad's natural handwriting, right? He never expected it to be a tattoo when he wrote it in what, 2000. And I started getting stressed and I was like, oh my God, there's this wrong with it. I realized there's literally a grammatical error on my arm. I fixed it eventually. I got like, oh my God, there's this wrong with it. I realized that there's literally a grammatical error on my arm. I fixed it eventually. I got another, I got a comma added, but I was like, there's a grammatical error.

Starting point is 00:07:09 Like there's all these things. And my girlfriend at the time, fiance now, came down and she's like, oh my God, I thought you wanted to get it removed. Like I was trying to figure it out. She's like, you were freaking out. And I have come to love it because of the imperfection of it. What's so cool is that when so many people see it, they're like, I love that it's in his handwriting.

Starting point is 00:07:27 I love that it's kind of messy. I love his Gs look like awkward Ss kind of lower and to the side. And people tell me that they love, the thing that they love about it is the imperfection, is an imperfection in it. And it's like, can we just learn to love ourselves more for our imperfections and stop trying to be so damn perfect because you never will be. So that's like, can we just learn to love ourselves more for our imperfections and stop

Starting point is 00:07:45 trying to be so damn perfect because you never will be. So that's the second thing. If you ever think it too much, stop trying to be perfect. Hey, if you're looking for a new perspective on performance apparel and some incredible clothing, and you're sick and tired of the traditional old workout gear, you have to check out Viore. Everything is designed to work out in, but doesn't look or feel like it. It's out Viore. Everything is designed to work out in, but doesn't look or feel like it. It's so ridiculously comfortable, you'll want to wear it all the time. I'm actually wearing their shorts right now as I'm speaking to you. And seriously, it's probably more comfortable than what you're wearing right now. The product is incredibly versatile. It can

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Starting point is 00:09:20 but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. So go to viore.com slash mindset and discover the versatility of Viore clothing. Third thing, stop trying to control everything. Most people that I have met, most of their issues come from some form of a control problem. We want to control everything. We want to, and the reason why I want to control everything is also another safety mechanism. We want to control everything. We want to, and the reason why I want to control everything is also another safety mechanism. We want to have control because if we could control all things, then we can make sure that we stay safe. And when we go into the unknown, there's, it's not safe when you go into the unknown,

Starting point is 00:09:56 right? So we have to learn to accept the unknown. If we accept the unknown, there'll be a lot less overthinking. And so if we just learn to stop trying to control everything, it helps a ton. The very first time that I ever did ayahuasca, it was the hardest first hour and a half of my entire life. And the reason why was because I kept trying to control it. I kept trying to control it.

Starting point is 00:10:18 I kept trying to control it. And this psychedelic, if you've never heard of it, it's one of the most powerful psychedelics in the world. It was the very first psychedelic I ever did. The first hour and a half was hell. The reason why it was hell was because I was trying to control it. And then at the end of it, I realized that about an hour and a half in, I realized that all of this was coming because I was trying to control it. And I just said, you know what? I'm going to give up all control. And I finally let go. And then it

Starting point is 00:10:41 became beautiful. And I asked the question and the answer immediately came to me was why was that so hard? And the answer he came through was it was so hard because you have a control problem. And I was like, okay, why do I have a control problem? And it was the immediate answer came through was you have a control problem because if you look at your life growing up with an alcoholic father, there was all uncertainty. You didn't know if he'd ever come home. You didn't know if he would pick you up from school and be drunk. You didn't know if he would drive you, you know, if you'd be drinking Budweiser's when he was driving. You didn't know if he would die. When he did die, you didn't know what happened next. And so if you were to put one word over your entire childhood, it was uncertainty. And this

Starting point is 00:11:18 is all coming into my head at this point. You put one word over your entire childhood, it was uncertainty. And the only way to try to overcome uncertainty is to try to control everything. But the problem is if you try to keep controlling everything, Rob, you're going to ruin everything in your life. You're going to ruin every relationship because the only thing that you know is that everything is uncertain. And if you try to control all of the uncertainty, you try to control other people, you ruin every relationship in your life and you have to get past it. And I was like, holy shit, that was the most amazing thing I've ever learned. But I realized through that I had a control problem and I had no idea. And so one of the things that we have to be okay with is not controlling things, not controlling other people, and just learning to be okay in this moment as it is with current

Starting point is 00:12:00 life circumstances. So that's number three, the third thing to stop you from overthinking. The fourth thing is to put your life into perspective, right? 25,000 people will die today from starvation. You won't be one of them. Do you need to keep overthinking about how terrible quote unquote your life is? 25,000 people will die simply because, today, simply because they don't have food to be able to feed themselves. 150,000 people will die total across the world today. No matter where your life is, no matter what your current circumstances are, no matter what's going on, your life is fucking amazing, but you're focusing on the bad and not the good. That's why you're overthinking

Starting point is 00:12:46 because you're thinking about all of the bad things. What would happen if you just woke up every single morning and you just decided to search for gratitude, decided for search for all of the little teeny tiny things that you could be grateful for? Like I woke up this morning and I took you through my entire day. I could give you a million things to be grateful for. I woke up this morning. That's the first thing to be grateful for. I brushed my teeth. I have running water in my house. Some people literally have to hike miles to get to water. I have running water in my house. I have so much. We have water in our toilets. We have such a plethora of water that I can have water in my toilet, right? Brush my teeth. I have running water. That's amazing. I wake up. I go outside. I take my dog out for a walk. My dog's healthy.

Starting point is 00:13:33 That's something to be grateful for. I have legs to go on a walk. That's something to be grateful for. The sun was shining this morning. That's something to be grateful for. It was like 68 degrees. That's something to be grateful for. Felt amazing outside. I meditated. That was something to be grateful for. I meditated with my YouTube meditation. I have a TV. That's something to be grateful for. I have internet that allows it to work. That's something to be grateful for. I hopped on my team call at 9 a.m. with my entire sales team. There was 24 of us on it. That's something to be grateful for. I have so many amazing people I get to surround myself with. I'm only at 9 a.m. and think of all the things. I could go for a million more things. I made coffee. It was amazing. I had water. It was amazing. There's so many damn things to be grateful for, but we need to put our lives

Starting point is 00:14:13 into perspective. And if we put our lives into perspective more often, we'll find more things to be grateful for and we'll stop overthinking as much. So put your life into perspective. We are all so ridiculously spoiled with all of the stuff that we have and we refuse to look at those things. Your life is amazing. What you're focusing on is the bad and not the good. And then number five.

Starting point is 00:14:35 Number five is have a plan. Next time I find myself overthinking, I will dot, dot, dot. And come up with a plan right now. Next time you find yourself overthinking, what are you going to do? Because when you find yourself overthinking, you're so deep in it sometimes that it's hard to come up with a solution while you're in it. But if you come up with a solution right now and then remind yourself of that solution next time you're in it, it's much

Starting point is 00:14:56 easier to go through it. So next time I find myself overthinking, I will close my eyes, take a deep breath, and I'll find one thing to be grateful for. Next time I find myself overthinking, I will do 50 push-ups. I will go for a run. I'll do 100 jumping jacks. I will do something to change my state. Next time I find myself overthinking, I will close my eyes, take a deep breath, take six deep breaths, and I will just think of how amazing this human experience is. The good, the bad, the challenges, the highs, the lows, every single thing. Because when we're overthinking, we're not overthinking the good things. You need to repattern your brain. It's just like a forest. The example I always give is, you know, we have a lot of old parts of our brain. We have a lot of structures and roads,

Starting point is 00:15:52 basically, that we've built in our brains to just, this connection goes here, this connection goes here, this connection goes here. The way I like to think of it is like a forest, right? You have this big, huge forest, and that's basically what your brain is when you're born. And eventually, your brain starts to make patterns. It starts to do things over and over again. It starts to get like a well-worn path as if you were to just walk through a forest over and over and over, sometimes a thousand, a million times. You're going to get a really well-worn path. And that's why it's so easy to walk down these old paths that we've been going through in our brain. But at some point in time, when we notice ourself down a path that we don't want to be on because it's easy to walk down it,

Starting point is 00:16:27 we need to go, oh, hold on, shit, I'm doing it again. Okay, what do I need to do? That's right. I need to take out my machete. I need to take a right. And I need to start hacking a new way and developing a new programming inside of my brain. And sometimes that comes from next time I find myself overthinking, which is the well-worn path, I will do this thing. And you start developing a new plan. So when you find yourself overthinking, you don't get into your emotions. You don't feel sad. You don't feel mad.

Starting point is 00:16:52 You don't feel angry. You don't feel stressed. But you decide that you're going to close your eyes, do a couple of deep breaths and focus on one thing to be grateful for. You're going to do push-ups. You're going to go for a run. You're going to do 50 jumping jacks. Whatever it is that's going to help you get out of that state and create a new state and reprogram yourself for the better.

Starting point is 00:17:08 So those are the five things that I want you to do to help yourself stop overthinking. Number one, develop self-awareness. Number two, stop trying to be so damn perfect. Number three, stop trying to control everything. Number four, put your life into perspective. Number five, have a plan next time it happens. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode, making sure mission makes someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - 5 Keys to Stop Overthinking

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