The Mindset Mentor - 5 Things to Quit

Episode Date: January 16, 2019

Episode 534 - Humans get stuck in patterns and habits throughout our lives. The problem with that is that sometimes we pick up habits that actually hold us back from the life that we want. In this episode, I dive into the 5 most toxic habits for you to quit right now! Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the Mindset and Motivation Podcast, one of the top motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we come out with a short, to the point, no BS episode to help make massive changes in your mind and transform you from who you are now to who you want to be. My name is Rob Dial, and the podcast starts now. Welcome to today's episode of the Mindsets and Motivation Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. Today, we're going to be talking about the five things to quit doing right now. So as we dive into this, you have to realize there's things that you should do

in order to be successful, happy, healthy, all of those things. There's things that you shouldn't do. And for some reason, us as humans, we tend to repeat things that we shouldn't do. We get stuck in habit loops and we continue to do the things that we know we shouldn't do. So I'm going to go over the five things with you really quick that will basically hold you back from the happiness that you want, the success that you want, and ultimately the life that you want as well. So number one, the first thing that I think that you should quit in order to have the life that you want is to stop trying to please everybody. Now, here's the thing. Us as humans, we try to please people. And the reason why we try to please people is because of the fact that we are tribal beings. If you think back to 50,000, 100,000 years ago,

when we were tribal beings, we had to be in a group. We had to be part of a tribe because we relied on them for food, for water, for shelter, for clothing, for raising children in the tribe. So to be kicked out of a tribe 100,000 years ago meant certain death for a human. But now in 2019, to be rejected by somebody is not going to be certain death. But still, we have that programming in our brains from thousands and thousands and thousands of years of our ancestors, knowing that we had to be tribal beings. We had to always fit in. We had to always be part of a group. But it doesn't serve us to try to please everybody anymore.

And the problem is, if you're not pleasing people, let me say this. Let me actually rephrase it. If you are pleasing people, usually what that means is that you are staying the same as them. You're staying mediocre. You're not jumping above them in showing that you could be the absolute best version of yourself. Because ultimately what usually happens is when you are

the best version of yourself, people feel small around you. People feel inferior around you and people do not want to feel inferior. So the very first thing to quit doing is to quit trying to please everybody. There's a quote that says, I don't know. And this is, you know, it's funny that this is Bill Cosby that said this because, you know, obviously he's not the best person to look up to nowadays, but he said a great quote that I love. And he says, I don't know the key to success, but I know the quickest way to failure is to try to please everybody. No matter what you do, you will never please everybody. And the more that you realize that, the better that you'll become. And here's the other thing that you also have to realize

is that the higher that you go, the harder the wind blows. Let me say that phrase again. The higher that you go, the harder the wind blows. If you've ever been on the top of a really big building, you know that the wind is always blowing a lot, a lot, lot more on the top of the building than it is down below. It's the exact same way in your life. The higher that you go, the better that you become, the more resistance that you will get from small thinkers. And you

have to understand that and you have to get yourself to be okay with that. And that's what you need to realize. So that's the first thing is to try to stop pleasing everybody. The second thing is to stop fearing change. Stop fearing change. Change is the only constant in this world. Now, once again, I like to think of everything as if we're cavemen, cavewomen 100,000 years ago. Change is ultimately seen as a threat to the brain. So we don't like change because 100,000 years ago, a massive change meant there could be possible danger that was close to

us, right? So it makes sense that we still have that part of our brain. Our brain hasn't evolved that much over the past 100,000 years. Humans have evolved massive amounts in the past 100,000 years. We've improved and evolved massive amounts in the past 100 years. Our brain has not evolved that much. So we still have these parts of our brain that exist. And fearing change is ultimately because the brain always sees change as a threat.

It sees it as danger. But if you want to create the life that you want, you have to have massive changes. If you're not happy with where you are right now and you want to become better, well then ultimately what you're going to need to make sure that you do is change. You need to change things about yourself. You need to change things about your surroundings, the people that you hang out with. You need to change things about yourself. You need to change things about your surroundings, the people that you hang out with. You need to change all of those. So the quicker that you can become okay with change, the quicker that you will start to get the life that you want. The third thing that you need to get past in order to have the life that you want, the third thing to quit right now is to stop living in the past. You would never

drive your car by looking in the rear view mirror, right? You always, could you imagine driving your car like this in the rear view mirror? You would ultimately get in a crash. So if you want the life that you want, you can't continue to look in the rear view mirror and drive like this because then you're looking in the back and you have to think about it in the exact same way. When you're driving your car, you're looking out the windshield. You're looking in front of you. If you're creating a life that you want, you're not looking in the rear view mirror. You're looking in front of you. If you've ever been in a boat, this is the best way of thinking of creating the life that you want. If you've ever been in a boat and you look behind you and you can see the wake, the waves

that come off of the back of the boat, that's called the wake. The wake does not drive the ship. If the wake doesn't drive the ship, then the past shouldn't dictate what happens right now in this present moment. So you have to release the past. You could have the worst past of anybody that's listening to this podcast and you have to figure out a way to release it. Just because you failed in the past does not mean that you're going to fail in the present. It does not mean that you're going to fail in the future. You have to fail in order to get better. You never see a baby fall on the ground and say, ah, you know what?

This walking thing just isn't for me. No, babies will fall and fall and fall and they'll get up every single time until they do it. As we get older, we start to get these pattern loops in our head of, I'm not enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I failed in the past. She left me. She cheated on me. And then we start to doubt what we can do. And we hold ourselves back from the greatness inside of us. So you have to stop living in the past. That thing that you need to stop doing is stop putting yourself down. You would never talk to somebody that you love the same way you talk to yourself in your own head. We are all guilty of this. Stop putting yourself down. You know, you never have a friend call you

up and say, oh yeah, I just got off of a first date. And, you know, he told me that, that it wasn't, that I wasn't good looking enough. And that, you know, he didn't feel like it was going to work out. Let's just say that phrase. He didn't, he didn't feel like it was going to work out. If your friend called you and said, he didn't feel like, you know, one of your girlfriends called you and said, he didn't, he didn't feel like it was going to work out. And he left in the middle of the date. You would never go, well, yeah, of course he left because you're ugly, because you honestly probably weren't wearing the right clothes, because you've had a bunch of guys break up with you in the past. Yeah, of course he's not going to stay with you.

He's probably better off by going and leaving you in the middle of the date than wasting more of his time, right? You'd never say that to a friend. But why would you say that to yourself? Lots of people say those types of things. Oh, he left in the middle of the date because I wasn't good enough or pretty enough or smart enough. And he's probably smart for leaving because I always do this. I always mess these up. I always this, this, this, this, this. You have to stop putting yourself down. Everything that happens in your brain,

your brain automatically stores is true. Whether it's something that you actually see in the real world or something that you close your eyes and visualize, or it's a conversation that you have in your head. If you are constantly putting yourself down, then you are constantly reprogramming yourself into thinking that you're not good enough. And if you don't think that you're good enough, guess what? You'll never be what you want to be. So you have to stop putting yourself down. And the last thing, number five, the last thing to quit doing right now, had to take a drink of water real quick.

The last thing to stop doing right now is stop overthinking. It's just something that we all do. We all overthink. We think about our past. We think about everything that that we all do. We all overthink. We think about our past. We think about everything that we have to do. We think about every single step along the way that we have to take in order to get to where we want to go. And the problem is when we overthink, we don't even take the first step. And that's the problem. You know, I'm in Austin, Texas right now.

If I wanted to drive to Houston, I wouldn't think of every single turn that I had to take in order to get to Houston. What would I do? I'd get in my car first. Then I would get in the road. And then I would get on the interstate. And then I would start heading to Houston. And then I would follow the signs. And I would turn when the next sign said Houston. And I would turn when the other sign said Houston. And I would follow those. I wouldn't think about the entire route. I would think about what it is that I have to do now and next. What is the very next step in front of me is what I would be thinking about, right? The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Stop thinking about the entire thousand miles because that is paralyzing you from taking action.

All you have to do is think about the next step. The one step that you need to take right now is the only thing that you need to focus on and think about. So the five things to quit doing right now. Number one is quit trying to please everybody. Number two is to stop fearing change. Change is the only constant. If you continue to fear it,

you're going to continue to hold yourself back. Number three is living in the past. Stop thinking about the past. Think about the present and then think about where you need to go in the future. Number four is stop putting yourself down. Stop the negative talk. And number five is to quit overthinking. So that's what I have for you today. If you liked this episode, please do me a favor. Please share it with someone that you know and love. And I'm going to leave you

the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day. Well, that's it for today's podcast.

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Now you know what time it is. So go out and make your dreams a reality. you