The Mindset Mentor - 6 Ways to Have Confidence

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

Want to have more confidence? If so, listen to this episode and follow these 6 steps and I eventually you will find yourself a more confident person! Want to master your mindset? Every Monday I send out an email with mindset tips for the week, click here to receive that email: http://mondayemail.com/ Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dylan. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you live in the United States or Canada, and you want to receive motivational text messages from me directly to your cell phone, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be talking about six ways to have more confidence. And contrary to popular belief, people are not born with confidence. So if you're out there and you're like, man, I'm just not a confident person. I'm not a very, I've never been very confident. It doesn't mean that that's the way that you're going to be forever.

Confidence is something that you're building. Confidence is something that you build over time. Now, this is something that's super important to understand because if it's something you can build, it's also something that you can destroy. And so you've got to be very aware of how you're showing up for yourself in the world and what it is that you're doing. Because once again, it's not something that you're born with. Confidence is something that you earn.

Confidence comes at its simplest form, if you want to think about it, from results. Okay? Confidence comes from results. When you see a confident person, you're actually seeing someone who's gotten results in something. You know, and it could just be it could just be they built a business. It could be that they built an amazing family. It could be that they built the body that they want. But whatever it is, is they had something that they were going for and they were able to go for those results and get them. And so we're going to talk about six different ways for you to be able to build your confidence

so that you can literally start to create the life that you want. Once again, though, I do want to stress it is very, very important. If confidence can be built, it can also be destroyed. And a lot of times people don't realize that the actions that they're taking or the actions that they're not taking are actually destroying their confidence. And when your confidence is destroyed, it makes it hard to believe in yourself. It makes it hard to take action. And so I'm going to give you the six ways to build more confidence so that hopefully you can take all of these and you can pick and choose which one you want to go for today. You can go

for all of them today, whatever it is you want to do. And you can take some notes on if you'd like to as well. So let's dive into it. The first one, the first key to having more confidence is to take action. You can't think you're a way to confidence very well. You know, you can do some other things, which I'll tell you about in just a minute. But confidence, like I said, comes from results. And if confidence comes from results, there is some action that needs to be taken in order to get those results. You don't just sit there and

wish that results are going to happen to you and results happen. You know, it's like, I love the law of attraction. I love manifestation that people are all talking about it now. But one of the most important parts of it is that you have to take action. A lot of people think, you know, oh, I can just sit here and just meditate my way into becoming rich. No, you actually got to do something. The universe wants you to move. And so confidence comes from results. Results come from action. And so you've got to get yourself better at taking action. It comes from doing something and then seeing those results. Now, here's something that's something that's super important I want you to realize as well. It comes from doing something and seeing results, but it can also come from doing something, not getting the results that

you want, but still continuing to pursue what that thing is. Because you're seeing that, you know what, I'm showing up for myself. So if you go and you're like, you know what, I want to do X, Y, Z, and you go and you put a whole lot of effort into it and you do that thing and you don't achieve the results that you wanted, but you still continue to show up even though you didn't hit your goal, even though you didn't achieve exactly what you wanted to, that will build confidence in yourself. There is one person that's always watching you and it is you. And so you have to become very aware of how you're showing up for yourself at every single moment. So become good at following through. So you say, hey, you know what? This is my goal. I'm going to work towards this thing.

Whether or not you actually achieve that thing doesn't really matter. The achievement of the goal is not the results that you're going for. That's the interesting thing. It's the result of I showed up for myself. I continue to show up for myself and I did succeed or I continue to show up for myself and I didn't succeed, but I kept going because it's that fucking important to me, right? Become really good at following through for yourself, doing what you say you're going to do. And one thing that I think everybody should get better at is get better at prioritizing yourself, especially if you're a parent. I understand you're a parent and you have a lot of effort that goes into being a parent, but you're also a human, your own sovereign being. There is some point where you have to start prioritizing yourself, your personal development, your body, your mentality, your relationships, everything,

because the better that you are, the better, your relationships, everything. Because the better that you are, the better that you are in everything that you do, the better that you are as a parent. And so you've got to get better at prioritizing yourself and going, you know what? I said I'm going to do this thing for myself and damn it, I'm going to do this thing for myself. So the first one is to take action. The second one is to visualize. I'm a huge fan of visualization. And one of the main reasons why is because we are all visualizing all of the time. We just don't really realize it. We're constantly putting ourselves into a future and we're imagining that future. The question is, are you imagining the future that you want to, or are you imagining a future that doesn't sound

very awesome? Most of the time I have found in the line of work that I do that most people don't imagine the future that they want. They actually imagine the future that scares them. They actually imagine their fears. They actually imagine everything that could go wrong. They imagine all of their worries. And so what you want to get better at is actually going, you know what, I'm going to visualize what it is that I want. Because it's almost a little bit of a brainwashing in there because your brain doesn't know the difference between something that's actually happening and something that you are imagining. And so if results help you change your confidence, what if you visualize the results that you want all of the time? You know, what if

you went out there and instead of imagining, you know, let's say for instance, you want to lose 20 pounds, 30 pounds. You want to look amazing in your bikini or your bathing suit this summer, whatever it is. Let's say that's what you're working for. And you look at yourself and past results in your life show that, hey, I got myself to 30 pounds overweight. So my past doesn't indicate that my future is going to work. Well, instead of taking the past and placing it onto the future, which we do all the time, that's what humans are really good at. We're prediction machines. We're predicting all of the time. So instead of predicting, oh, I've lost, I gained

weight. I've screwed up on that diet. I screwed up on that diet. I gave up on this one. I didn't follow through with myself. How about you imagine what it would feel like and what it would be like to look in the mirror inside of that bathing suit, inside that bikini, and be like, damn, you look good, right? Think about what it would feel like. So, because the reason why is because when you start to get those feelings inside of yourself, it starts to motivate you to take action, as we said, number one, to take action towards the desired result that you want to get those results to gain more confidence. And so start to visualize the future that you actually want to create. See the person that you want to be, right? Start giving, you know, if you're,

let's say you got a presentation that you have to give at work and you're not really a great public speaker. I know I've been there before. There's a time, you know, long time ago now, but there's a time when I hated public speaking. I was terrible at it. It used to feel like I was going to piss my pants every time I got on stage in front of people and scared the crap out of me. But I did it over and over and over again. One of the things that I did was I used to visualize getting up on stage and doing really well, like just crushing the talk. And so if you've got a presentation, you've got to give it work. And maybe you're a shy person. You're not really at this point, a great public speaker. What if you imagine over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, crushing the talk, right? Like one thing I always

did that helped me before I would go up and give talks is I would actually practice the talk in my house by myself over and over and over again. I would visualize the people in the crowd and what it would look like. And what happened was the more that I did it over and over and over again, I would visualize the people in the crowd and what it would look like. And what happened was, the more that I did it over and over and over again, the more confident I was when I was on stage. And so if you can visualize the future that you are, if you can visualize the person that you want to be, if you can see yourself as this confident person, then you can start to build yourself into it. Because most people unintentionally visualize what they don't want. So why don't we just get really good at starting to visualize the things that we do want? So that's number two, visualize. Hey, buying or selling a car is already a big

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money back guaranteed. For a limited time, get 40% off if you do a subscription for your first order or 20% off a one-time purchase. When you go to shopbeam.com slash dial and use the code dial at checkout, you can pause or cancel at any time that shopbeam.com slash dial and use the code dial for 40% off a subscription for your first order or 20% off of a one-time purchase. Number three, affirmations. And I don't mean affirmations in the corny sense that a lot of people use it for. What I mean is just talk better to yourself. Just be better to yourself. When you think of all the stuff that happens in your world and what you think of, you think of all of the things that could go wrong, but then also a lot of times you're also talking

trash to yourself in your own head. And one thing that I've found, not with every person listening right now, but one thing that I've found with a lot of people is that if you think about the person who is worst to you in your life, right? It could have been a parent. It could have been an aunt. It could have been a brother, sister. It could have been a teacher.

It could have been a bully at school. It could have been a parent, it could have been an aunt, it could have been a brother, sister, it could have been a teacher, it could have been bully at school, it could have been a lot of different people. If you think about that one person, right? We all have that one person where even though you're grown up and even though you're still growing, you think about them and you're like, yeah, screw that person. Like there's still a part of you that thinks that, right? If you think of that person and what they did to you, most people in their own heads are worse to themselves or have been worse themselves over their entire lifetime than that person. There's a good chance that a lot of people listening have been worse to themselves than that person was.

I know for me, until I started getting good at talking better to myself, instead of before I started doing all that, I was way worse to myself than that one person, that one bully that I was thinking about from high school, right? So you have to change the narrative that you have inside of your head and you have to affirm in your head and out loud what it is that you want to think about yourself, how you want to think about yourself. You've got to become your biggest fan. You've got to be able to do that. And one thing you can also do, you can do affirmations, which if you want to do affirmations, I always say there's a three-part process that I follow. I just made this up a long time ago once I started working with a lot of

clients and it helped them out as well. Three-part process to making your affirmations. Number one, it needs to be true. Number two, it needs to be present tense. And number three, it needs to be absolutely empowering to you. Cool? So there's a three-part process. So instead of sitting there and saying, you know, I have the body that I want. I have the body that I want. I have the body that I want. And then you open your eyes, you look at me and you're like, ah, nope, I don't. I'm still a little bit chunky here, right? That's your bullshit meter is going to go off. So instead of doing that and being like, I am, I have the perfect body and I look amazing in my red bikini. And then you put the red bikini on, you're like, right? Instead of getting to that point, what you want to do is instead of lying to yourself and say something true, empowering

and present tense. So what do I mean by that? So it could be instead of saying, I have the perfect body and I look amazing right now. It could be something like, I'm working harder every day to take care of my body and my health to get into the shape that I desire. Doesn't that feel better than I have the body that I want? So it needs to be true, present tense and empowering. I'm working hard every empowering. I'm working hard every day on my body and my health to get the body that I want and look amazing in that red bikini, whatever it is for you. So affirm what you want to think about yourself.

And if you want to go a step further, you can start using incantations. Incantations are affirmations with power. So instead of just saying that thing, you can go to the gym and you can literally go in, you know, I have a gym in my garage. So maybe if you don't have a gym in your garage, but you can work out outside, you can do whatever you want to do. It's almost like you don't have to yell, but it's power into it. It's power in your voice and a whole lot of

power to it. And, you know, there's a thing that I do whenever I'm in the gym and I'm alone, there's no one else that's there. But one of the things that I'll kind of scream to myself as I'm working out is I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong. And it actually allows me to do more reps, which is what's kind of crazy. I'm brainwashing myself, interestingly enough, brainwash myself into being more strong, getting out more reps, which will then in turn do what? Make me stronger. And so incantations are affirmations with power. And you can do it with every single rep. You can yell it outside to yourself. You have property and you have these affirmations. You can go out into the

sunrise and just scream what it is that you want to believe about yourself and how you want your life to be. That's what you can do. And those are affirmations. It's the way that you talk to yourself in your head and outside to yourself, but then also to other people as well. That's number three. Number four is just fail. The thing that I say is fuck it up and figure it out. Just fail. That's all you got to do. Life is not about being perfect. You'll never be perfect. And if you're on that quest, you're going to have a really tough time. You have to fail. Success is 99% failure. Just fall on your face, screw up, figure it out. Fuck it up, figure it out. Once you see failure won't kill you, you won't fear it as

much. I have failed over and over and over and over and over again, right? And it's like Michael Jordan says the exact same thing. He's missed thousands of shots. He's missed tons of game winning shots at the end, buzzer beaters, and he missed the shot. He was trusted with it and he screwed it up. But because of all of his failures is why he succeeded. You know, the creator of Honda, the car company, and everything else that they do, not just car, they do jets, they do all kinds of different things. The creator of Honda said that success is 99% failure. So get better at failing because once you see that failure won't kill you, you won't fear it as much. It's not a big deal. You have to go out and fail. Who cares if you fail? And you know, it's like you fall, you've got to get up. You fall, you've got to get

up. And when you get up, oh, I'm getting up for myself. I'm getting up. I'm doing this. And you feel better because you're like, I will not give up. I failed. It hurt. I got myself up. And just the getting up from that failure is the thing that will build more confidence in yourself. So number four, make sure that you fail. Number five, start saying yes

to things out of your comfort zone. When you would normally say no, start saying yes. Not to super dangerous things, but just start doing things that you normally wouldn't do. I'm not saying become like a yes man. And when someone's like, hey, will you do this for me? start saying yes. Not to super dangerous things, but just start doing things that you normally wouldn't do. I'm not saying become like a yes man. And when someone's like, hey, will you do this for me? Just say yes. What I mean is when you start to, someone says, hey, do you want to do, you know, I don't know, bungee jumping with us. You know, that's an extreme example. And you're like, yeah, I don't know about that. I don't know about that bungee jumping

thing. That doesn't sound very exciting to me, but I can feel the fear inside of me. It's like, you know what? Screw it. Let's do it. Start saying yes to it. If you're a really shy person, someone invites you out to a party and you're like, I just want to stay home and I want to watch Netflix, say yes. And that showing up for yourself and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone always will start every single time that you do it. You put yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone always will start every single time that you do it. You put yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone, a little bit out of your comfort zone. You show up to that party. You see someone that you normally wouldn't talk to at that party. You walk up to them and you say something. Just that putting yourself out of your comfort

zone will start to build more confidence in yourself. So you've got to figure out, how can I start saying yes to more things that I would normally say no to. Because just doing that goes, you know what? Hell yeah, you just showed up for yourself. Hell yeah, you know what? You did something that you didn't want to. You know what? I'm proud of you.

You went out to that party. You didn't want to go out to that party. And you met a new friend. You put yourself out there. Normally, you wouldn't do that because you talk about how shy you are. You can talk about how you're an introvert, but you did it and I'm proud of you for it. And that's the way to then go do it, but then also to affirm to yourself the action that you take to make yourself a better person and more confident as well. And number six, last but not least, do what you don't want to do. Do what you don't want to do. It builds confidence.

This isn't exactly the same as saying yes to things that we normally say no to. But what I mean is when you find something that you find that resistance, where you're like, ah, I don't know if I want to do that thing. It seems hard. Like for instance, I love and hate, I'll be honest, I actually hate it.

Like hate, hate, hate. People think I love cold showers and cold plunges because I have a cold plunge and you can see videos of me on my Instagram where I go inside the cold plunge and stuff. I don't. I hate doing it, but I love that feeling of when I get out and did something that I didn't want to do because I knew it was good for me. I knew it was good for my body. I knew it was good for my mind. And it gives you a sense of pride by doing something that you don't want to do. So that's an example of one thing that I do. You know, a workout could be something as well. Maybe you know you should work out, but you don't want to work out. And you're like, you know what? I don't

want to do it. I'm going to do it anyways. I'm going to show up for myself because I know that it's going to give me the body I want. And when you start to find things that you don't want to do, you do them anyways. You know, you don't want to start waking up. You know, you do want to start waking up early, but you don't actually want to physically get out of the bed early. It's like start doing those things that you really don't want to do because as you continue to do them over and over and over again, your mind, your conscious, your subconscious starts to go, hey, this is a person that does it. This is a person that follows through. This is a person that does hard things. And the more you do that over and over and over and over again, you'll wake up one day way more of a confident person simply because

you took these six steps that I put here to have more confidence. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you want to follow this podcast on Instagram as well, it is The Mindset Mentor Podcast. We're putting up clips, some unseen stuff that's not out there on there. So if you want to add some extra positivity and mindset stuff to your Instagram, go ahead and follow us there. Once again, it is The Mindset Mentor Podcast. And I'm gonna leave the same way I leave you every single episode, make it your mission to make someone else's day better.

I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.