The Mindset Mentor - 7 Things to do for Better Mental Health

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

There’s a lot going on in the world right now! In this episode, I’m going to teach you 7 strategies for improved mental health. Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

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To learn more, visit morganstanley.com slash YS. Investing involves risk. Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC. Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you want to receive motivational text messages from me, text me right now if you live in the United States or Canada, 1-512-580-9305. Once again, 1-512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be talking about seven things to do to have better mental health. And this is super important because as you guys all know, mental health has become a

big thing that people are finally starting to talk about. And I want you to understand, and I'll say this multiple times this episode probably, there is no one in your life that is more important than you. The better that you are, the better that every single person should be. So with that, let's dive into what the seven things are. The first thing is this. If something bothers you after 24 hours, if something still bothers you after 24 hours, speak up about it within 48 hours. This is super important because if you're bothered by something, whatever that something is, you are triggered in some sort of way. It's showing you something. The way that I like to think of triggers, being triggered by something throughout the day, is that it is the universe

or God or whatever it is that you want to talk, say that it is. It is God or the universe or anything showing you that it's something that you need to work on. It's showing you that it is. It is God or the universe or anything showing you that it's something that you need to work on. It's showing you that it's something that you and maybe someone else need to work on. And ignoring something does not make something go away. I think that all too often, a lot of people, we just numb. We numb with being too busy with work. We numb with alcohol.

We numb with drugs. We numb with working out too much or being addicted to watching too much Netflix or being addicted to scrolling on too much Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, and all of those things. So we numb instead of actually coming in contact with what it is and working through what it is we need to work through. So if something still bothers you after 24 hours, make sure that you speak up within 48 hours. So that's number one. 24 hours, make sure that you speak up within 48 hours. So that's number one. Number two,

if you want to really help with your mental health, get better at expressing your feelings. Part of the beautiful things about being a human is that we have a large range of emotion. You could be on top of a mountain and feel amazing and joy and ecstasy, but you can also feel completely like shit and depressed. And the fact that we are able to feel and express all of those emotions before we dive into the emotions themselves is an actual pretty incredible thing if you think about it. That is what makes being a human amazing, is that we're able to feel all of these feelings. But if you're feeling something and it feels like it needs to be let go, you need to let it out, right?

If you feel anger about something, you've got to let it out. Don't hold on to it. If you feel sadness about something, you've got to let it go. You've got to let it out. If you feel frustration towards something or someone, you've got to let it go. You've got to let it out. If you feel frustration towards something or someone, you've got to let it out. You've got to learn to stop holding it

all in. If your body is at ease when you're at peace, when you're just feeling peaceful, your body's at ease. And then when your body is at dis-ease, your body's usually at dis-ease when you have emotions that you're not letting go of. Dis-ease can cause disease in your body. And another thing that's super important I want to talk about that I think people don't talk about too often is don't apologize for your feelings. Now, if you have anger and you go and beat the crap out of somebody, well, yeah, that's an issue. But if you get angry because of something that happened and you feel that way, don't apologize for feeling your feelings. Don't apologize for expressing your feelings. Now, I want to make sure that I really toe the line here and I don't say, hey, just go and yell

at people and scream at people and say, it's your fault, your fault, your fault. And then be like, well, I'm not supposed to apologize because that's what Rob said. I don't mean that. I mean, if you feel sadness because something sad happened, don't apologize. Like one of the things that I see all of the time when I start to work with people real deeply

is almost always somebody will cry. That is kind of the side effect for the job that I'm in is there's a lot of people that do end up crying. And then the first thing they always say is, I'm sorry. And I'm like, don't apologize to me for crying because that is something that you need to be doing. It's been something that you've been holding onto for so long. And when somebody cries, a lot of times it's about some event that happened to them like 10 years ago. If they're crying about an event that happened 10 years ago, it means that they've been holding on to those feelings for 10 years.

So don't apologize for expressing your feelings. And the last part that I'm going to say around feelings before we go to the next thing is don't let somebody invalidate your feelings. One of the things that people do too often is they invalidate someone else's feelings. If someone is also expressing to you their feelings, don't invalidate them. So don't let someone invalidate you. What I mean by invalidate is else's feelings. If someone is also expressing to you their feelings, don't invalidate them.

So don't let someone invalidate you. What I mean by invalidate is you might say, hey, you know, I'm really sad about X, Y, Z that you did to me. The correct response would be, I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I'm so sorry that I did that to you. The wrong response to that would be,

oh, I'm sorry that I did that, but here's the reason why I did that. That is invalidating feelings. So don't let someone invalidate your feelings, but also at the same time, don't invalidate other people's feelings as well. And so the second thing is to make sure that you get better at expressing your feelings

and stop holding it in. Next thing is ask for help. Number three is to make sure that you ask for help. We all need help at some point in time. And one of the things that I find with a lot of people is that when they start to work on themselves, they start to realize, oh my God, I've been trying to do this by myself my entire life. And we all need to get better at asking for help. Imagine if everything that you went through in your life has a little bit of weight to it. And you just go through this thing. It's like,

you know, putting weight in a backpack. Can you go through another thing? It's like putting another weight in a backpack. Can you go, and they're not huge weights. Sometimes it's a little bit heavier, sometimes a little bit less, but you go through something, you put a weight in a backpack. You go through something, you put it in a backpack and you try to work it out on your own. There's people around you that are more than willing to take some of the weight out of the backpack, but you don't ask for help. You don't ask them for a spot. You don't ask them to see if maybe they might be able to take a little bit of weight out of there for you and help you drop the weight. But you're just like, you know what? I'm going to go at it alone. I can do it. I'm going to go at it alone. And you don't ask for

any help. Well, that's why over time and over time and over time, you can start to feel so heavy. Like physically, you can feel heavy and weighted down by all of the things that are happening in your life. At some point, you've got to look behind you and be like, holy crap, I'm carrying this backpack that is filled with all of this stuff that I don't need to be carrying anymore.

I'm carrying weight from 17 years ago. And it gets so heavy that eventually, if you don't let it go, otherwise it's all going to come crashing down. I've been there before. I've been to the point where I thought I was able to do everything on my own, and then everything just came crumbling.

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Number four, this is a super important one. Treat yourself like someone that you're responsible taking care of. Like treat yourself as if you are somebody who you're responsible for taking care of. You are, like you are responsible for taking care of yourself. Stop taking care of everyone else

and then just forgetting or running out of time, quote unquote, for yourself. Don't say that you don't have enough time. Make time for yourself. It is that important. So treat yourself like someone that you are required to take care of. Like you don't just forget to take care of your children,

do you? Like, oh shit, I forgot to feed my children today. No, you take care of them. You do what needs to be done to take care of your children. When was the last time that you actually took care of yourself? Because you can't, I said a little while ago, you can't pour from an empty cup. And when I say something like self-care, self-care, I did an episode on this a while ago. You can go back to it of what self-care really is. Self-care is not just like, oh, I'm going to go get my nails done. If someone says it's a self-care day, it's like, oh, I'm going to get my nails done. I'm going to get my hair done.

I'm going to get a massage and all of this stuff. Sure, that is a self-care day if that's what you want, but that is not all of self-care. All of those are great. There's nothing wrong with them. if that's what you want. But that is not all of self-care. All of those are great. There's nothing wrong with them. But what else does self-care look like? Meditation is self-care.

Eating healthy is self-care. Working out is self-care. Journaling is self-care. Giving yourself some time to just simply exist and not have to be going, going, going, going, going is self-care. This is very important. I want you to get this in your head. You are serving no one by, going is self-care. This is very important. I want you to get this in your head. You are serving no one by ignoring your own self-care.

You are serving nobody. And in fact, people around you that you're closest to are worse off by you not focusing on yourself at some point because the better that you are, the more time that you take for yourself, the better that you show up for all of those. Think about this for a second. If you go through and you have your morning routine and you have a cup of, maybe you do some meditation and then you have a cup of coffee

and you do your journaling and your reading and your yoga and you feel more peaceful because of that, well, then you're going to be a better parent because of that as well, right? You won't be as short with your children. You won't be, you know, as a, you know, have such a short fuse or maybe freak out as much, which means that by you working on yourself, you are actually becoming a better parent for your children. This goes to all areas of your life. You cannot pour from an empty cup. You are serving nobody by ignoring yourself. So that is number four, is to make sure that you treat yourself like someone that you're responsible for taking care of. Number four, super important,

stop trying to escape your pain. Stop trying to escape your pain. An attempt to escape pain ends up causing you more pain. Pain does not just disappear. It doesn't go away with time. It's something that needs to be worked through. The only way to go past your pain is to go through your pain. Stop acting like it's not there. Stop looking the other direction. A lot of people are like, oh, I'm looking this way.

No, this big thing that's happening over here that really I need to look at, it's over to my left. You know what? I'm just going to look to my right. I'm just going to stare at my right and act like this thing doesn't exist. Stop looking away. Stop numbing. Stop. I said it a little while ago, but we do so many different forms of numbing. And like, we think that, oh, alcohol and

drugs are like the main ways of numbing. No. Food is a way of numbing. Social media is a way of numbing. Becoming a workaholic and not paying attention to your issues is a way of numbing. There's so many different ways of numbing. You have to become aware that what you're doing is you're trying to run away from the pain that you really need to work through. All of those things do not make your pain go away. There's a really good example I want to give you. You know, let's say that you have a water bottle

and you hold, I give you a water bottle, it's full. And I say, hey, how much do you think this water bottle weighs? And you hold it up and you're like, maybe it's 10 ounces. Maybe it's a pound. Okay. Maybe it's two pounds. I don't know how much it is, but you hold it up. I say, okay, go ahead and hold it out in front of you. Like literally 90 degrees, hold it out in front of you for a few minutes. What do you think would start to happen? You know, it might not be too bad for a few minutes, but what if I say, okay, I want you to hold that for a few hours. Then what do you think is going to happen? It's going to start to get heavy.

It's going to start to hurt your muscles. You're going to start to get sore. Maybe your joints are going to hurt. What if you hold it for 24 hours? Then what's going to happen to you? Oh man, your joints are going to be real bad. What if I say hold it for a week out in front of you? What's going to happen?

You might lose the function of your arm. The weight of the bottle didn't change, but it became heavier the longer that you held onto it. All of that became heavier. That 10 ounces, that 16 ounces, whatever it is, became heavier the longer that you're holding onto it. So you can't escape your pain by acting like your pain is not there. Your pain will only get stronger and hurt more the longer that you hold on to it. The same way that the weight of the actual bottle does not get any heavier, but it becomes heavier to you

because you're trying to hold on to something for so long. The bottle, that's your worry. That's your problems. That's your stress, your anxiety, your thoughts that are just holding you back. Eventually, if you just want to stop the pain, what do you do? You let go of the bottle. And so you've got to work through those things and stop trying to escape them because when you can finally move through them, you can let go of them. Okay,

so that's number five. Number six, give yourself more time of just silence. If it's meditation, beautiful. If it's just sitting outside and enjoying a cup of coffee for 20 minutes every single morning, give yourself more of that. Give yourself more silence so that you can just have some space. We live in a world where it's, and I've been guilty of this many, many times, it's just go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. What I found is that if you give yourself more silence, which would be like go, go, go, 15-minute break. Go, go, go, go, go, 15-minute break. Give a go, go, go, 15-minute break. You will get more done and you'll be much more peaceful

if you give yourself that 15-minute break. There's neurobiologists that have done studies upon studies upon studies of this. The brain works better and is more focused when it has a break in between long bouts of working hard. But if you just give yourself more silence, more time to read, more time to journal, more time to meditate, more time to just think, you will be so much more peaceful than if you just are go, go, go, go, go all of the time.

And one of the things that's really important is when you go outside and you look at a landscape and instead of focusing on one thing, you just allow your eyes to just dilate and you can see everything, your peripheral vision turns on, that actually starts to relax your body. So by giving yourself some space and some silence and going outside and either going on a walk or just looking at trees

will actually start to relax your body when you go into peripheral vision. So give yourself some more time, give yourself some more silence. That is one of the biggest hacks for better mental health. And then the last thing, put your thoughts down on paper. I did an episode recently on journaling. You can go and listen to that one, but just put your thoughts down on paper. Write them down instead of having to try to figure them out in your head because thoughts and feelings and all of those things can be super,

super, super complex. And I don't want to dive into all of the journaling stuff because you can list that episode, but just get better at when you think things or when you feel things that you just start writing it down and start working out stuff in your, instead of working out in your head, working it out with pen and paper on a piece of paper. If you literally put your thoughts down, your feelings down on a piece of paper, it makes it so much easier to work through them. And it also makes it so much easier to let go of the things that are no longer serving you. So put your thoughts and your feelings down on paper.

So those are the seven things to do for better mental health. Number one, if it still bothers you after 24 hours, speak up within 48 hours. Number two, get better at expressing your feelings. Number three, get better at asking for feelings. Number three, get better at asking for help. Number four, treat yourself like someone that you're responsible for taking care of. Number five, stop trying to escape your pain.

Number six, give yourself more silence. Number seven, put your thoughts down, your feelings down on a piece of paper and allow yourself to let go of them. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a massive favor right now. Please pick your phone up,

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And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode, making sure mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.