The Mindset Mentor - 9 Things To Stop Doing Right Now!

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And if you love this podcast, you will absolutely love my new book that is on the psychology of taking action and creating the life that you want. It is called Level Up, How to Get Focused, Stop Procrastinating, and Upgrade Your Life. I've created it to be the manual for your mindset to understand the thing that is happening in between your ears because we're not given the manual when we're born. And I created it to try to be a step-by-step process, help you understand yourself, to take action, to get past your self-limiting beliefs, your self-sabotage, and actually create

Starting point is 00:00:42 the life that you want. So once again, it's called Level Up and it is available wherever books are sold. Today, we're going to be talking about nine things that I recommend that you stop doing right now. Ready? Let's dive into it. Let's not even mess around. The first thing I want you to stop doing is stop making excuses. Excuses are like buttholes. Everyone's got one and they all smell. They all stink. They're all terrible. Nobody wants to hang around a buttholes. Everyone's got one and they all smell. They all stink. They're all terrible. Nobody wants to hang around a butthole. Nobody wants to hang around their excuses. And I want you to understand, with your excuses that you create, have you ever made an excuse and been like, yeah, I'm really glad that I did that? Usually not. Usually you make an excuse as

Starting point is 00:01:20 to why you didn't do something that was good for you? For me, this is coming, everybody just so you know, this is coming from somebody who used to be an incredibly professional excuse maker. I used to be able to make an excuse for every reason why I wasn't where I wanted to be and why it was everybody else's fault but my own. But when you stop making excuses, what you really start doing is you really start actually taking control of your life. You really start saying everything that happens in my life is my fault. And so instead of getting pressure from that, it puts you in the driver's seat. And so the first thing I really want you to do is stop making excuses in your life. The second thing I want you to do, stop doing, is to stop playing the victim. Too many people out there play the victim. They act like the life that they have just happened to

Starting point is 00:02:06 them, not by their own actions, but by somebody else's actions. Oh, it's kind of like excuses, too. Oh, it's not my fault. It's somebody else. It's somebody else's fault. Somebody else did this to me. Oh, no, I'm not where I want to be because it's my parents' fault or it's my spouse's fault or because I didn't grow up in a good part of town or because I didn't have great mentors around me. Right. Like you might've not had the best life. That's not your fault, but it is your responsibility now to figure out what to do with your life at this moment. It's your responsibility to make a difference. You were given the hand that you were dealt. I was given the hand that I was dealt. Yeah. I was dealt with a hand where my father was an alcoholic. I was dealt with the hand where he passed away when I was 15.

Starting point is 00:02:46 I was dealt with a hand where we didn't have a lot of money. I was dealt with a hand where I didn't really have many mentors around me. And I could use all of the excuses if I really want to and blame everybody else but myself. But what is that going to give me? Am I going to look back at the end of my life and be like, man, I'm so glad I played the victim so much? No, I'm not going to. I'm going to go, damn, now I get it.

Starting point is 00:03:06 I feel like everybody has an awakening and process at the end of their life where they go, oh man, now I see it. Now I see what I did wrong. Now I see what I was supposed to do. Oh my gosh, I was blaming everybody else but myself. And you got to stop acting like something that everything is happening to you and start realizing everything happening for you. Everything is happening for you. Now, it might feel like it's happening to you in the moment. When you think very short term, it feels like it's happening to you. But when you look over the next 10 to 20 years, when you look back 20 years from today, you'll go, oh, damn, now I see why I had to have that challenge.

Starting point is 00:03:41 Now I see why that person had to die, why I had to have that health challenge. Now I see why that person had to break up with me. And it all ends up being for your benefit in the long run. So you've got to stop playing the victim and think that the world is happening to you and realize that it is happening for you and that you are the one to blame for everything. It is not your fault, your past, where you grew up, your parents, all of that, but it is your responsibility to do something about it now. Number three, stop complaining and instead start looking for solutions. Stop complaining. Figure out a way to get your life back on track. If it's not where you want to be, even if it's like, okay, if life is okay,

Starting point is 00:04:14 don't complain about what you don't have. If you want something, you're human. The beautiful thing about being a human is you can do anything that you want. You can create any future that you want. You've just got to be able to put the work in. One of my very first mentors used to say, life is just like a buffet. You can have anything that you want, but you just have to be willing to pay for it. I was like, oof, damn, that's good. You can have anything that you want in this life, but you're going to have to pay for it in some sort of way. You're going to have to put in the dues. The dues have to be paid. And if you don't want to pay the dues, you're not going to get the life you want. And so when you're starting to look for solutions, use something that I call the 1-3-1 method.

Starting point is 00:04:47 I have a problem. Boom. I've identified one problem. 1-3-1. One. I've identified one problem. Three. I'm going to come up with three possible solutions to this problem. Okay. I'm trying to figure out the best possible solution. So one, three, and then the one. I'm going to identify the one solution that I want to try to take action on first and see if it works. So instead of complaining and saying, I don't know if I can do it. This is not my fault. Why did I get these cards dealt to me? It's like, boom, number one, I have a problem. Three, here's three possible solutions. One, here's the one I'm going to take action on first and see if it actually works. Get into the driver's seat of your life and start taking action to create the life that you want. Number four, stop being afraid of failure.

Starting point is 00:05:35 This drives me crazy. Failure is your greatest teacher. You want to fail as fast as possible and as many times as possible. Avoiding failures is one of the biggest things that I see that holds people back. Successful people that I've seen in my life want to fail as quick as they possibly can and as often as they possibly can. Why? Because through the failures, you learn all of your lessons. You don't learn many lessons through success. You learn some. You learn a whole lot more through failure. I was being interviewed on a podcast earlier today and the guy was asking me about failure. And I said, yeah, I mean, I can look at my businesses before the business that I have now and I could say, yeah, those three businesses, all failures. They were just complete failures. Or I can see, oh, I had to have the quote unquote failures in those businesses to extract the

Starting point is 00:06:22 lessons of what works in a business, but also extract the lessons of what doesn't work in a business. So that when I built the business that I have now, I can build the business based off of all of my past. If you're married right now and you've been, you had, you know, 14 girlfriends over the course of your life before you got married to your wife, you had 14 other girlfriends. Would you say those are all failed relationships or were they all relationships where you learned what it is that you wanted, what it is that you didn't want, what you did well, what you didn't do well at? Because if I'm looking back at like my relationships, my very first relationship with my first girlfriend, I was a shitty boyfriend. And I'm kind of sad about it. I wasn't good. I was selfish. I didn't know what I was doing. I'd never been in a relationship. I didn't know how to act in a relationship. I'm so glad that I had those relationships. I messed up so many times in

Starting point is 00:07:08 those relationships so that I could be different in my relationship now with my wife. So would I say those are failures? No, I would say that they were all relationships that were lessons for me. So stop being afraid of the failure because the failure is what you can't, failure and success are the same thing. They're just opposite sides of the coin. It failure is what you can't... Failure and success are the same thing. They're just opposite sides of the coin. It's like if you played basketball and you're just like, I don't want to shoot because I don't want to miss a shot. You're going to have to miss shots. If you're in baseball and you're like an all-star in the major leagues, you strike out 70% of the time. You're an all-star if you strike out 70% of the time a lot of times. And the creator of Honda says that success is 99% failure.

Starting point is 00:07:47 So I'm trying to get to that 1% success. So how can I get rid of all my failures as quick as possible? Failures are not failures. They're just a part of success and they're all learning lessons. You just got to learn from each one of them. That's number four. Number five, stop putting things off. Stop procrastinating.

Starting point is 00:08:01 Get your shit together and just make a decision and go. All too often, people are just sitting around like, I don't know what the right decision is. And I'm planning and I've been planning on my planning and I've been planning to planning to plan. And I've been planning to plan and plan to plan to plan. And you're too busy planning and all of this. You just have to stop putting things off. You just got to ready, fire, aim, ready, fire, make adjustments after you started taking action, right? Because when you ready, fire, aim, and you don't worry about procrastinating, you don't procrastinate, you don't worry about failure, you don't worry about messing up in your eyes, it's all part of it. And you're like, ready, fire,

Starting point is 00:08:32 aim. When you're ready, fire, aiming, not ready, aim, fire, ready, fire, aim, you're going, I want to make mistakes as fast as possible. I want to. Stop over planning and then planning and then planning your planning. You're putting things off. You're delaying the inevitable. You're trying to stay away from failure. You're trying to stay away from other people's judgment. You're trying to stay away from other people's opinions. You're trying to stay away from messing things up when in reality, you've got to get to those things as soon as possible.

Starting point is 00:08:56 And so you procrastinate because you don't, I always say procrastination is never the actual problem. Procrastination is the downstream effect of the problem. And so you might be procrastinating because you're worried about being judged. You might be procrastinating because you're worried about failing. You might be procrastinating because you're worried about other people's judgments of you. You might be procrastinating because you're worried about you thinking that if you were successful, other people would abandon you or whatever it might be. You've got to stop

Starting point is 00:09:21 putting things off. You've got to learn to make a decision and take action. One of the most prominent things that they find with successful people is they make decisions very quickly. People that are not successful tend to delay decisions. Whether it's the right decision or wrong decision, any action is better than no action at all. And so stop putting things off and just start taking more action. Number six, stop being so hard on yourself. Man, you're a human. You're trying your best. Like I'm proud of you. You've done a

Starting point is 00:09:52 lot. You realize that? You've been through a lot of shit in your life. You have. I have too. Look at us. Look at us. We're still breathing. We're still here. We're still trying our best. You know, don't look at your past and be like, man, I really screwed that up. I should have done different and regret and be so hard on yourself. You did the best you could at that moment, no matter how good or how bad it seemed like it was. You're a human. You're going to fuck up a lot. You want to know the biggest key to being happier? Learn to let things go. You're carrying things that happened to you years ago. It's like the phrase, these mountains that you're carrying, you were only meant to climb.

Starting point is 00:10:34 Those things that you, the hardships, you're only meant to climb them once. And you've been putting them in your backpack. You've been carrying them with you for years. You can't get mad at yourself over something that you did five years ago. You know, you're smarter, you're wiser than you were five years ago. You got to stop being so hard on yourself. You got to give yourself more grace. If you've been trying to work out and lose some weight and you did really good for 14 days and then you screwed up on one day, don't focus on the one day. Oh, I messed up. Okay. Yeah, I see where I messed up. But I did do really well for 14 days and I'm proud of myself for that. Now let me make some plans and make

Starting point is 00:11:03 sure I don't mess up as often. And you just get better. Don't be so hard on yourself. That's number six. Number seven, stop trying to control everything. You just got to learn to realize you can control almost nothing. You know, I did an episode a couple of weeks ago that was talking about like, we live on a planet that's spinning a thousand miles an hour. That's going around the sun at like 67,000 miles an hour. And our solar system is running at like 433,000 miles an hour through the universe. And we have something like 20 billion stars inside of our galaxy. I think it's actually, I'm sorry. I think it's a hundred billion stars in our galaxy.

Starting point is 00:11:44 This is off top of my head. And it's a hundred billion stars in our galaxy. This is off top of my head. And there's a hundred billion stars in our galaxy and there's two billion or two trillion, some crazy fricking number amount of galaxies that exist in this universe. And you're trying to control everything. You can't control anything. We can barely control our thoughts. Stop trying to control everything outside of you. And just with trying to stop trying to control everything, you've got to develop the muscle of faith of just, hey, things are going to work out for me. Things that come to me that I love, I'm grateful for. Things that come to me that are really big challenges, I'm grateful for because I believe that the challenges are brought to me for me to be able to get better, not to make me crumble,

Starting point is 00:12:21 but for me to get stronger. That's really what you have to realize. So stop trying to control everything. Stop trying to control everybody else. Just be a little bit more. You're not a human doing, you're a human being. Just allow there to be more in your life. There's not even a word for it, just more. Don't white knuckle your way through your life. Allow there to be a little bit more ease.

Starting point is 00:12:47 That's number seven. Stop trying to control everything. Number eight, really important. Stop giving up on yourself. Stop giving up on yourself. You need to want to succeed for yourself. You need to stop putting other needs in front of your own. You deserve to follow through for yourself.

Starting point is 00:13:02 How many times have you given up on yourself? You need to follow through on that business idea. Follow through on your fitness plans. Follow through on your family plans. You deserve it. You deserve all of it. You deserve all of that. Stop giving up on yourself.

Starting point is 00:13:16 Imagine if you, you know that business that you had four years ago and it got really tough and you decided to let it go. Where would you be now if you didn't give up? You ever thought about that? Think about how many things you've given up on in the past that you probably shouldn't have. Where would you be now if you hadn't given up on it? If you hadn't given up on that business, if you hadn't given up on that relationship, if you hadn't given up on those investment plans, where would you be now? Where would your relationship be now? Where would your investments be now if you hadn't given up? And you would have just followed through on something in your life finally. Just learn to

Starting point is 00:13:48 follow through and stop giving up on yourself. Which brings us to number nine. Stop settling for okay. It's sad how many people just settle for an okay life. You have the full capacity within you to make the most incredible life that you could think of. It's in you. It's there. I promise you. Stop settling for just things being okay. Stop settling for an okay relationship with your spouse, an okay relationship with your kids, an okay travel schedule, an okay bank account. Stop settling for just, all right, that's fine. I guess it's all right. You get one shot at this life. Maybe we get, maybe we die and we go to heaven or hell. Maybe we die and we get reincarnated. Maybe we die and

Starting point is 00:14:30 we become worm food. I don't know the answer. You actually truly don't know the answer either. There's beliefs, there's dogmas, there's religions, there's all these things that tell us what they think, but we actually won't know until we actually go through the process. But as far as we do know, you do have this life, right? I do know that I do have this life as a 37 year old male named Rob Dial. I do have this life. So I do get one shot at being me. I don't want to settle for anything less than fucking amazing.

Starting point is 00:15:01 And I don't think you want to either. That's why you listen to this podcast. But what you really have to make up is to have the mindset of stop settling for okay. Stop settling for this is good enough. I don't want to get to the end of my life and go, that was good enough. That was okay. I want to get to the end of my life and be like, oh my God, that was wild. That was crazy. I've got so many crazy memories. I got so many crazy stories, so many things that I did, so many ways that I screwed up, so many ways that I succeeded, so many experiences. I don't want to be a person who goes home and watches Netflix every single

Starting point is 00:15:35 night. I don't. If you want to, that's cool, but I'm assuming you're not the type of person who is that because you're here listening to this podcast. Stop settling for okay. Start pushing yourself. Demand Start pushing yourself. Demand greatness from yourself. Demand the greatest life you can possibly create. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor. Share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr. One of the ways that we grow is completely through grassroots. We don't have any huge company that's pushing this podcast out to people. It has grown 100% because you guys have shared it. So if you would share it with

Starting point is 00:16:08 other people to possibly have this be found, maybe we can change somebody else's life as well. So if you would share it on your Instagram, TikTok, wherever it is that you do stuff, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - 9 Things To Stop Doing Right Now!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.