The Mindset Mentor - Are You Losing Your Life to Your Job?

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, you'd probably love following us on YouTube as well. Also, the brand new studio is in the middle of getting finished. You can see that the background looks a little bit different. We are adding some extra stuff to make the studio look even better. So we also put, besides putting up four videos every single week on YouTube, we also put up some YouTube specific and YouTube only videos up there as well. So if you like this podcast, you definitely love the YouTube as well. Go to YouTube, type in Rob Dial, and I will pop up there. Today, we're going to be talking about

Starting point is 00:00:48 your life and really diving into the idea and the question of, are you losing your life to your job? And we live in a real fast-paced society. And if we're not careful, it's really easy to get caught up in the daily grind. First, it starts off when we're in school, it's really easy to get caught up in the daily grind. First, it starts off when we're in school, and then we have to go to college, and we have to win in college. We have to do good in college, and then we have to do good so that we can get into the corporate world. And then after the corporate world, we have to climb the corporate ladder. And we want to climb the corporate ladder, and we want success, and we want financial stability, and we want to buy some cool shit, and we want to be able to travel the world, and we want to be able to set our family up to have more security and safety.

Starting point is 00:01:31 And all of that stuff is fine. There's nothing wrong with that at all. I think all of it's great. But if we're not careful, we can get really caught up in it. And while it's important to have success and to drive and to try to be better, if we're not paying attention, it can be overshadowed. It can overshadow the real meaning of life, which is enjoying your life, which is growing with the people who truly matter and becoming a better person. And I put up a post, an Instagram reel about 45 days ago now, and it's got almost 11 million views at this point. And it seems to have really hit home with people, like really, really hit home with people. And the whole idea is that, you know, if you died today, your job would replace you within the next couple of weeks.

Starting point is 00:02:20 And, you know, it'd be fine because a job has to do that. They have to fill the position, obviously. But the people who love you, your family, your friends will miss you forever. And so the idea is don't be so caught up in a job that can replace you immediately that you forget to spend time with the people who really, truly matter. viral is because so many connected, so many connected to the point of like, yeah, man, I really do need to spend more time with my family. I do need to make sure, yeah, I still climb the corporate ladder, still be, you know, build my business and try to become successful. But what really matters is like, why am I doing it? Who am I doing it for? And can I spend more time with them? And, you know, it's a really hard truth to face, but in the corporate world, everybody is replaceable. You know, no matter how skilled you are, no matter how dedicated you are, if you were to die suddenly,

Starting point is 00:03:08 your employer would need to fill that position. That's just the way that it goes. It's not a reflection of you and your worth as a person. It's just the way that it is. And the idea is, you know, but you would be fully irreplaceable to the people who love you. You would be irreplaceable.

Starting point is 00:03:24 And there would be a void. There would be irreplaceable and there would be a void. There would be a hole in those people's lives. But we spend so much time worrying about climbing the corporate ladder and getting a new job title and getting a little bit of a raise so that we can buy new stuff and all of those things. When in reality, the people that are kind of off to the side are like, hey, spend some more time with me. Let's build a relationship. And we get in this relentless pursuit of success if we're not paying attention. Now, I do want to take a step back. I think that all of those things are important. I think that being successful is important, that growing yourself is important, that challenging yourself to be better is important

Starting point is 00:03:59 as well. But it's really about how do we find the balance? How do we find the balance in growing ourselves and growing our business or climbing the corporate ladder, but also making sure that we spend really dedicated time with people who actually truly matter? Because in a world of success, it's often measured by your paycheck. It's often measured by what it is that you drive, what your house looks like, what kind of watch you have on your wrist, how many diamonds you have on your fingers, all of those things. But when you look at all of those things, you look at your job title, you look at your house, you look at the cars you drive,

Starting point is 00:04:33 you look at the jewelry you wear, are all of those things who you are? Is that really truly who you are? And the answer is no. And it's easy to lose sight of what truly matters. really truly who you are? And the answer is no. And it's easy to lose sight of what truly matters. And I want you to know that it's not all that life is. No amount of money can replace the love and the support of the people that you guys have. And I've seen people before and I've known people before that have put so much of their life into being successful. And then someone that they love gets sick and they realize that instead of spending so much time just trying to be successful, they had spent a little bit more time with that person, they would feel more fulfilled and like they didn't ignore them.

Starting point is 00:05:15 And so the thing I want you to realize is this. The thing that I think is very important is the idea of abundance. Because a lot of people listening, a lot of myself, I thought this for a long time, it doesn't mean that you're either successful in life or you have great relationships. It doesn't mean that you're either successful in life or you have a great family. The idea of or is scarcity. It's either this thing or it's this thing. It's this thing or it's this thing. I don't live my life in or. I live my life in and. It is a really successful business and a great relationship with my family. It is a really successful business and a great relationship and lots of time for my friends. That is abundance. And so you've got to stop putting yourself into or and you've got to start living more from and. It's not or, it's and. I want to live an and life that I can do all of the things. And let's be real. If you're going to be

Starting point is 00:06:13 successful in life, success is only really fun when you have other people to celebrate it with, right? It's like Tony Robbins always says, success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. Well, so is success without the people who you can celebrate it with. Success is only fun when you have other people around you. When something amazing happens, you could call them up and say, hey, guess what just happened? And they could be excited for you and they could be excited for what you just did. And it really comes down to the relationships that we build.

Starting point is 00:06:41 There was a study that Harvard did. It was an 80-year study and it's still currently going on. They got 700 men, and they wanted to, there were 700 men in Boston, some of the richest parts of town and some of the poorest parts of town. Some of the men went on to become, you know, shift workers, and they worked the corporate world, and some men went on to become, two of the men went on to become presidents. And so you're talking about like every walk of life. And they did an 80-year study. It's still currently going. I think they're about year 87 at this point. They found 700, they're actually boys, they were teenagers at the time. They followed them throughout their entire life and they measured their happiness. And they were like, can we figure

Starting point is 00:07:18 out the way to be happy? Like what does it take to be happy? So then these boys, they ended up growing up. They went to school. Some of them did. Some of them didn't. They got jobs. They got married. Then they started interviewing their wives. And then they started having kids. And they started interviewing their kids.

Starting point is 00:07:34 And then their kids started having kids. So they started interviewing their grandkids. And so they had all of this data for what makes somebody happy. And it was just really interesting that the thing that made people the happiest, the number one key to happiness was really close, trusting relationships. That was it. Trusting relationship. It wasn't about having 50 friends. It was about having like one or two friends that you can really trust. You can really be vulnerable if you can really speak to. It was about having a really close, great, vulnerable relationship with their spouse, with their children, with the people who really matter to them. And the people that went and focused on just growing themselves, going up the corporate

Starting point is 00:08:13 ladder, all that stuff, the people who ended up being very lonely or had bad relationships almost always died earlier. And the people who had the great relationships, actually, they found that having great relationships in your life protects you and helps you live longer. And so it's really about connecting with those people and leaving a legacy for them to really remember you by. Because when you pass away, when you end up dying, because we all will,

Starting point is 00:08:37 nobody gives a shit about your professional accomplishments. Nobody cares about what your job title was, the CEO of this or the VP of that or the district manager of X, Y, Z. Nobody cares about those things. Nobody cares about how much revenue that you brought into a business or how much you sold or how many team members you had. That's not what you're going to be remembered by. What you'd be remembered by is the impact that you had on the lives around you. Hey, do you know how much your subscriptions cost? Most Americans think they spend around

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Starting point is 00:11:55 And I went to his funeral because I was close to him. He's a great person. And it was wild because this guy, he never really had much money. He didn't have a ton of success or anything like that, that people would call success. But you went to his funeral and there were so many people that there was standing room only. It was all of the seats filled inside of the church and people literally lined the outside of it. And it was like that moment in my life when I realized it doesn't matter how much money you die with, how much is in your bank account when you die. What matters is how many people show up to your funeral. Because if they show up to your funeral, you probably impacted them in some sort of way.

Starting point is 00:12:34 You probably had some sort of real connection where they said, I want to show up for this person because they showed up for me. And so then you start thinking like, what do you want to be said in your eulogy? What do you want to be said in your eulogy? What do you want to be remembered by? What characteristics and traits do you want to be remembered by when you end up dying? And then you ask yourself if you are that type of person. I remember I was listening to a whole story about, I won't name the actual coach, but a very, very successful college coach. And his daughter was graduating

Starting point is 00:13:08 high school and she was getting honored for the sport that she was playing. And she got up and gave a speech. And she was saying, mom, thank you for this. Thank you for this. Thank you for this, this, this, this. Thank you for always being there and doing this. And then she said, dad, you just were never there. And I just thought to myself, that must be the worst thing to be a parent and have your child just say to you, dad, you just weren't there. And so how do you want to be remembered by? How do you want your children to remember you, your friends remember you, your co-workers, your spouse, your family, everyone to remember you?

Starting point is 00:13:39 That's the thing we really should be focusing on and leaving a legacy behind of who you want to touch, who you want to impact, how you made others feel, not what you did in your day job, not what your job title was. It's the importance of going, okay, yes, I do want to be successful and have wealth and I do want to travel and buy some cool shit, but I also, and not or, and I will build an incredible relationship with my children. I will build an incredible relationship with my children. I will build an incredible relationship with my spouse, with my family, with everyone. And it's important to find the balance. You will have to find some work-life balance at some point

Starting point is 00:14:16 in time. And you'll have to find the balance between your personal life and your business life. And sometimes, I will tell you, your life will go a little bit out of balance to achieve more balance. I don't think most people talk about this. They just talk about it's work-life balance. It's work-life balance. But sometimes, I have found for myself and a lot of people that I know, that sometimes you have to swing way out of balance to swing back into balance. So I'll give you an example. For me, when I first started my business, and it was back in 2016, I had to put a lot of hours into it, like 12 hours a day sometimes. And it was a lot of hours and a lot of hours. And it was the beginning of the relationship with my girlfriend at the time, who was now my wife. And there were times when she was like, listen, you're not spending enough time with me. We need to spend

Starting point is 00:15:01 more time together. You're paying too much attention to your business and you know, all of these things. And it turned into a little bit of a, you know, not, I guess you'd say an argument. And, uh, and from there it kind of set it a little bit, but I had to put a lot of hours into the front end of the business. And then what the benefit of that was is now the back end of the business years later, it took years to get to, you know, it took a couple of years to really get to where we were going and all that. But within... And actually, I'll tell you the honest truth. So we started the business in 2016. And by 2017, the summer of 2017, we traveled for six months, her and I, across Europe. We went to Southeast Asia. We went to Dubai. We went to a bunch of places,

Starting point is 00:15:42 all over the place for six months straight. So I went out of balance to get more in balance. And so sometimes that is going to be something that happens. Sometimes you can't have balance just immediately, but it's important to really start to figure out what it is that you want and starting to build from there. And now what's cool is like I have a business where a couple of weeks ago, I fully disconnected. I left my phone inside of the hotel room and spent an entire week in Mexico with her and nobody connected with me. Nobody needed to. And it's just her and I. And so I swung a little bit hard towards the working side so I could swing a little bit

Starting point is 00:16:14 harder towards the relationship side eventually. And now, you know, I'm 37 years old and that's going to be the rest of my life is to be able to have that sort of balance. So if I live to 97, hopefully that's another 60 years. So I was a little bit out of balance for a little while to be way more in balance and towards the balance that I want to be able to concentrate on my relationship and all of my relationships for the next 60 years of my life. I'd say that's pretty worth it. So let's talk about how to achieve a little bit more balance. First thing is you need to get really good at setting boundaries.

Starting point is 00:16:44 You need to establish really clear boundaries between your work and professional life. If you own your own business, you know that this can be hard. If you are a manager, this can be hard. There's got to be times where your working hours are from this time to this time. But after, you know, if it's, let's say eight to six, right? After six o'clock, you turn, you take your phone when you get home and you put it inside the kitchen drawer and you don't look at it until the next morning. And you just have to set those boundaries because you want to spend time with your children. You want to spend time with your spouse. And you've got to develop and set clear boundaries of what your personal life is and what

Starting point is 00:17:19 your work life is. One of the biggest problems is that people just don't set the boundaries. Once you set the boundaries, it becomes much easier to actually put those boundaries in place and start to follow them. Next thing that I think is really important as well is to schedule time for your relationships. The same way that you know what time you're working and what time you get done working, why don't you schedule a time with people that you need to? You want to spend time playing pickleball every single week with your best friends? Cool. Thursdays, seven o'clock, we play pickleball every single week. You want to go on more dates with your spouse? Okay. Friday, seven o'clock, every single Friday at seven o'clock, we have date night. Let's say that your kids want to play some sports with you. Okay, cool. Well, I know that I get home

Starting point is 00:17:59 at 6.30. Seven o'clock, from seven o'clock until 9 o'clock is dedicated just for my family and no business at all. And so you've really got to actually start to schedule time for your relationships, the same way that you schedule meetings for your companies and the business that you work in, right? So that's another thing that's super important. And then the last part, I think, is just to remind yourself to be more present. You know, there's so many times that I see people hanging out with their kids and the kids are around and they're just looking at their phone and their kid's trying to get their attention and they're just not giving attention to their child. Then I get it. There's different circumstances. I don't understand what's going on in everyone's life. But when your children

Starting point is 00:18:35 are 19 years old, they move out of the house, they leave, you won't think to yourself, man, I wish I would have spent more time scrolling on Instagram. You'll think to yourself, I wish I would have been more present when they were three. I wish they were three years old again, right? So be more present to your children will never be as young as they are now. You'll never experience this version of them again. Same thing with the people that you're closest to. Your friends will never be able to do the exact same things they are. You know, if you're playing pickleball every single Thursday, 40 years from now, you might not be able to play pickleball with them. And so just be present to the fact that now is the time you're supposed to be living in.

Starting point is 00:19:08 Now is the time you're supposed to be here. And you have to realize that you can't spend so much time making a living that you forget to make a life. And the important thing to realize in this situation is you weren't just born to pay the bills and die. You were born to thrive. You were born to build an amazing life. What is the life that you want? Start putting it in place. Start planning it and start executing on that plan so that you can create the life that you truly want and not be consumed just by working. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. I love to see hundreds of you guys tag me every single day. It's Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R on

Starting point is 00:19:47 Instagram. Just tag me in it. And once again, I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Are You Losing Your Life to Your Job?

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