The Mindset Mentor - Break Your Addiction to Negative Thinking

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dylann. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. Today, we're going to be talking about how to break the addiction that you have to your negative thoughts and your negative feelings. And I'm going to say this outright because you're going to say, well, hold on. I happen to think negative. I happen to feel bad sometimes, but I'm not actually addicted to it. Addicted is like addicted to drugs, addicted to food, addicted to alcohol, right? Well, it is. But you also are addicted to your negative thoughts and your negative feelings. And I'm going to tell you exactly how that is. So, um, one thing that I noticed with a lot of people is that you can want to be positive.

Starting point is 00:00:54 You can consciously want to be positive, but it's so freaking hard sometimes, isn't it? Where maybe you've been negative for so long that it's like almost like your brain just automatically goes towards the negative side. You want to be positive. You want to be happy. You want to be joyous. But for some reason, most days you just find yourself in misery or you find yourself slipping into negativity. And the reason why is because you are chemically addicted to your negative thoughts. Now you might be like, what the hell is this guy talking about? How am I chemically addicted to your negative thoughts. Now you might be like, what the hell is this guy talking about? How am I chemically addicted to something that's a thought? And here's the reason why, and I'm going to give you a real quick lesson. It's not going to take a long time.

Starting point is 00:01:35 A thought, once you have a thought that's just, you know, sends an electrical signal from one place to another in your brain at its simplest form, that electrical signal sends something called a neuropeptide down to your body, which tells your body what hormones to create. And a hormone is a chemical that your body goes and creates. So an example of one would be you think a really stressful thought, and then your brain has that signal go from one spot to another. Your neuropeptides send signals down for your body to create the hormones in the chemicals cortisol and adrenaline. And those are the stress, anxiety hormones that you have. Those are chemicals inside of your body. Now, follow with me here, okay? Let's say that I drink alcohol every single day for the next year, would I become addicted to that chemical? Yes. If

Starting point is 00:02:26 I drink alcohol every single day for the next year, my body is going to start to become chemically dependent on that chemical, right? If I do cocaine every single day for the next 30 days, I am going, next 365 days, I will become chemically addicted to it. So let's talk about how that works inside of your body with thoughts. If I think thoughts every single day that cause me to have stress hormones, which are cortisol and adrenaline every single day, every single day, every single day for the next year, guess what I'm going to become? Chemically addicted to cortisol and adrenaline, which means that my body is going to force my brain to think certain thoughts so that it can get that hit, that little hit, just like taking

Starting point is 00:03:19 a swig of alcohol. It's that little hit of adrenaline and cortisol. That's only for a year. Have you been thinking negative for two, three, five, 10, 20, 30 years, and now you're trying to break this thought pattern? You are. You're trying to break it like you would break an addiction because your body is actually chemically addicted to the hormones that your thoughts have created. to the hormones that your thoughts have created. Now just take a second and let that sink in. So you can actually want to be happy and positive, but you can't stop going down that route of negativity. Why? Because you're just used to doing it.

Starting point is 00:04:01 You're used to doing it, you're used to doing it, and your body is wanting you to actually do it because it's used to those chemicals. Now, let me tell you, I can tell you firsthand that I learned this the hard way. A few years ago, I was listening to a podcast and there was a guy that was in a podcast and he was talking to a psychologist. And he said to the psychologist, I feel like I'm addicted to stress. And he started explaining it. And I thought to myself, am I addicted to stress? Like I work really well under pressure. I work really well in stressful environments. And I started thinking, I was like, oh my gosh, I will sometimes make myself be just a tiny bit stressed out so that I perform better, so I can perform better under pressure. And I

Starting point is 00:04:43 thought to myself, how long have I been doing this? And I tied it back to when I first started my first business back in 2006. So it had been over a decade that I had been making myself be a little bit stressed out, drinking extra coffee so that I got a little bit too wired because that's for me just the way that my brain kicked in and when I did really well. And I was like, why would I be addicted to stress? And I was like, okay, if I was forced myself to be stressed back all the way in 2006, what about before then? What would have come from it? And I realized I tied it all back to my childhood of being raised with an alcoholic father, of being stressed out. Just having an alcoholic father is stressful. And I remember worrying

Starting point is 00:05:23 about what was going to happen next. If he was going to be drunk when he picked me up at baseball games, if he did pick me up and he was drunk, would we get into a car accident? You know, if, if he was going to pick me up from school, if he would remember to pick me up, if he would die from it, because I knew how bad it was getting when he did die, what am I going to do now? It was just stress, stress, stress, stress, stress. When he did die, what am I going to do now? It was just stress, stress, stress, stress, stress. So as I got older, I actually created a business that stressed me out,

Starting point is 00:05:54 not knowing that that was actually something that I was addicted to. And I started this unwiring of myself of, I'm actually addicted to stress. And so I have to literally consciously calm myself down in the middle of the day, knowing that this is something that I've become addicted to. I've been able to create thoughts and thought patterns and processes to stress me out because that was something that I was addicted to. So it was a lot of journaling, a lot of paying attention to myself, a lot of paying attention to what I was thinking, a lot of pay attention to what I was drinking, a lot of pay attention to what I was eating throughout the day, who I was talking to, what things that I did. Then I was like, man, that makes me stressed out. That's interesting.

Starting point is 00:06:32 And it was like this, it was like this lifting of the veil of, oh my God, I have unconsciously searched for opportunities to stress myself out because that's what my body has been used to for a really, really long time. And so I want you to think through this. Maybe you're listening to a story and you're like, oh my God, I can connect with that. Even if you don't connect with it, have you created systems and thought patterns to make you feel a certain way, to make you negative? Because ultimately negativity is something, the negative thoughts is something that you could become chemically addicted to. Hey everybody, real quick, let me tell you about one of my favorite products out there. You've heard me talk about it many times. It's called Athletic Greens and it's the ultimate daily

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Starting point is 00:08:55 intentional every single day from the start of your morning. So I put up a video. One of my most popular videos I've ever put up on Facebook was called Why Positive Thinking Doesn't Work. And I had a bowl in front of me and the bowl was filled with water. And I was talking about how people don't understand positive thinking because they think to themselves, I'll just be positive. I'll just think a positive thought. And they think a positive thought and then they think 10 more negative thoughts and like, oh my gosh, positive thinking doesn't work. And so in this giant bowl of water, it was a big see-through glass bowl that I had. I took dirt and I was putting scoops into it. And I was saying, you know, the negative things that we say to ourself, you're fat, you're not good enough. We hang out with people, maybe when we're

Starting point is 00:09:36 younger and they say, Hey, you're, you know, that's you, you fail a test. You're stupid. You have bullies. And I just had this, this big old thing of water. And now there was tons of dirt inside this water. And I stirred it up and it was just a big thing of dirty water. And then what I did was I took a glass of water. So I had this big, huge jar and I took this glass of water and I said, okay, I'm going to think positive. And this, this glass of water represents something positive. And I poured it into it. And then what happened? It still was really dirty. And then most people stop right there and they say, positive thinking doesn't work because I'm so negative. I put one positive thought into that and it's still dirty. It's still negative. And then they take another glass of water and I put it in. I put like four or five glasses of water in this bowl of water

Starting point is 00:10:19 was still dirty, still AKA full of those negative thoughts. And I said, so how do you change into a positive person? And I took a hose out and I put the hose and I said, it has to be something that you're intentional about. You have to think positive with every single thought. When you notice negativity come out, you have to kick it out. And what happened was the water starts to spin. There's all this water, more and more and more and more and more water that comes in. And eventually it took a lot of time. Eventually that water, that big, huge jug of water that I had was eventually clean again, but it wasn't clean from one cup or two cups or three. It was clean from water and water and water and water and water. And it eventually cleared up all of the dirt the same way that you can't think one

Starting point is 00:11:02 negative thought and have this massively negative brain or think one negative thought and have this massively negative brain or have one positive thought and have this massively negative brain and go, oh, it just doesn't work. No, you've got to be intentional. You've got to wake up every single day. You've got to literally brainwash yourself to be more positive because unbeknownst to you, you have brainwashed yourself to be negative if you are negative right now. And the way that you feel, the way that you think changes the way that you feel. So if you don't feel good, you're not going to do the things

Starting point is 00:11:27 that you need to to create the life that you want, which means that you need to go back to your thoughts. So you have to be extremely intentional. Wake up every single day and say, how am I going to force myself today to be more positive? Maybe I need to come up with a plan. If it's important to you, you'll find a way to do it. Does this require work? Yes. Once again, I said, it's very easy to say it's very hard to do. It's very hard to stay consistent. So you have to be intentional and say, what am I going to do today? Maybe I'm going to wake up and I'm going to look myself in the mirror and I'm going to say, I love you for 10 minutes straight and try to brainwash myself into feeling good and feeling good and believing in myself and loving

Starting point is 00:12:01 myself. I'm going to come up with affirmations, three affirmations that are going to brainwash me into literally starting to feel the way that I want to feel, and thinking the way that I want to think. Because ultimately, I've been thinking this freaking negative way for a long time. I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to be positive, and I'm going to be intentional with doing it. You've accidentally brainwashed yourself into being negative, into feeling bad. Now you've got to put a lot of work into making yourself be positive, and brainwash yourself to being negative, into feeling bad. Now you've got to put a lot of work into making yourself be positive and brainwash yourself to be positive and start to feel good. And then the second thing that's super important besides being intentional is just because you're intentional in the morning does not mean that you're going

Starting point is 00:12:35 to be positive all day long. So you've got to catch the negative thought as soon as possible. You've got to become very self-aware of when you start to go down that negative spiral, because we all know it starts with the negative thought and then gets more and more and more and more and more and more negative, right? And then you notice three minutes down the road, you've gone through this massive crap storm of just thinking negative to yourself. And now you just feel like you've been covered in crap and you're like, I don't feel good. I don't want to do anything.

Starting point is 00:13:01 And it all started from one negative thought and you just started to spiral down. And the way that I like to make people think of it is this. Think of a bowling ball, for instance, right? Let's say you have a bowling ball and you're at the top of a thousand foot, you know, hill. This thousand foot hill has a road that goes straight down. And I've got this 15 pound bowling ball and I'm going to roll it down the hill. Now let's say that I start to roll it down the hill and you catch it and stop it about 10 feet after I let go of it. Right? It's going to be a lot easier to stop it 10 feet after I let go of it than it will be to stop it at the bottom of a thousand foot hill.

Starting point is 00:13:46 Now, think of this for a second. If I let go of a bowling ball and you stop it at 10 feet, it's not going to really be that hard to stop. But if you go to the bottom of a thousand foot hill, I let go of it, and now you've got to try to stop a 15 pound bowling ball that's hauling tail down this freaking thing, you're going to crack a couple of legs. You're going to break your shins by trying to get in the way and stop this bowling ball, right? It's just the way that it goes. It's the same thing with your thoughts. The quicker that you can stop the negative thoughts, the easier it is for you. Same with the bowling ball.

Starting point is 00:14:21 If you try to catch your negative thoughts at the bottom of the spiral, you're already in a negative place. And so the key is to become extremely, extremely self-aware as to when that negativity starts. What causes that negativity? Maybe it's somebody that's in your life. Maybe it's your boss. Maybe it's a phone call from your mom. Maybe it's a spouse that you need to get a divorce from. I don't know what it is. Start to notice what sends you off down that path of negativity and get rid of it as soon as possible. You have to be extremely, extremely self-aware. One of the things that I say is if I had one superpower that I could give everybody in the world, it would be extreme self-awareness because if people were extremely self-aware, we would have no problems in this earth. People would treat each other better. They treat themselves better. They treat the earth better. They treat animals better. Everything would be better. And so if you can become extremely

Starting point is 00:15:12 self-aware, be intentional when you wake up in the morning of how much you're going to brainwash yourself to be positive, and then stop the negative thoughts because they are going to come, but stop them as soon as you possibly can and start to notice, take note, what makes me go down a spiral of the spiral of negativity? Is it an email from this coworker? Is it a text message from my mom? Because I've got so much pent up resentment for her. Is it, you know, a coworker coming over to me? Is it my spouse that, you know, I just, if I'm being honest with you, cheated on me six months ago, I'm not, I, this isn't, I'm not me being honest. This never happened to me, but it could be your spouse cheated on you six months ago. I'm not, I, this isn't, I'm not me being honest. This never happened to me, but it could be your spouse cheated on you six months ago. And now every single time that they send you a text message, or you think about them, it just pisses you off because you've got this

Starting point is 00:15:50 built up resentment. What is it that sends you off on that path down of negativity? And how can you get rid of whatever that thing is so that you can live a more positive life? Get rid of the things that send you down the spiral and you won't have the spirals happen. It's that simple. Once again, it's very easy to say, very hard to do. You can't just decide to be positive. You can't just decide to have a positive life and you have one positive thought and then you're just like, oh my gosh, this is such a beautiful day. I feel so amazing and I'm going to feel amazing for the rest of my life. No, be realistic.

Starting point is 00:16:20 You're going to go down paths of negativity, but you got to be self-aware and notice it. Stop it as soon as possible, like the bowling ball going down the hill. And you just have to be, be as serious about this as you possibly can more than almost anything else in your life, because this not only affects you, it affects every person that you come in contact with. And it is a complete rewiring of your brain. It's required. It is a, you're not just going to change. The reason why I say that you can't teach an old dog new tricks is because an old dog has to completely rewire parts of their brain to learn that new trick. So it's going to take time. You have to be

Starting point is 00:16:54 intentional. You have to be paying attention. But if it's important to you, you'll find a way. Those are the two tips that I have for you. Be intentional from the moment that you wake up every single day to being as positive as possible. Number two, when you notice those negative thoughts come in, get rid of them. Replace that one negative thought with three positive thoughts every time. Just flood your mind, flood your body, flood your life with positivity. And in a year, two years, three years from now, you'll notice that you're one of the

Starting point is 00:17:22 most optimistic people that you're around. And the reason why is because you've just wired yourself to be optimistic. The same way that you can get addicted to the negative thoughts of the stress of the cortisol of the adrenaline. You can also be addicted to the serotonin and the dopamine and the amazing things that can be flooded into your body. And if you get addicted to those, your brain and your body are just going to want to keep creating those. So the secret to rewiring yourself and to get rid of your negative thoughts and your addiction to them and your negative feelings is to be intentional about it every single day, number one. And number two, get rid of the negative thoughts and replace it with three positive thoughts every single time.

Starting point is 00:18:00 And you'll wake up in a couple of years and realize you're a completely different person. and you'll wake up in a couple of years and realize you're a completely different person. So if you love this episode, please share with someone that you know and love. Please go ahead and share this on your Instagram stories. Tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode.

Starting point is 00:18:18 Make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you go out there. You be the change that you wanna see in the world and you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Break Your Addiction to Negative Thinking

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