The Mindset Mentor - Change Your Programming
Episode Date: August 31, 2022We are all programmed throughout our lives, but at some point, we have to question if the beliefs we have are ones we want to carry into our future or if we need to learn to let them go and change our... thoughts.  Want to master your mindset? Every Monday I send out an email with mindset tips for the week, click here to receive that email: http://mondayemail.com/ Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube
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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial.
And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button since you never miss another
episode. Today, we're going to talk about how you unconsciously hold yourself back from
everything that you want in this world. And you won't truly get past it until
number one, you're aware of it. And number two, you figure out a way to work past it. And I'll
give you a couple stories today that'll kind of help you lock this into your brain so that we can
kind of make this cemented. And where this came from is I saw a post somebody put up on Instagram,
and it was of a horse that was tied up, but it was tied to a plastic chair. But it stayed in place all day long because it was tied to a plastic chair. And I saw this, and it reminded
me of a story. And the story is, there's a man that's walking down the street, and he sees over
to his left, he sees that there's a whole bunch of elephants. And he walks
up and he notices that all of these elephants are tied. And these are full-size elephants. They're
tied by a little teeny tiny rope to just a small little tree. And so there's these huge elephants
with small ropes tied to one of their legs. And they're tied to a little tiny tree. And he looks
and he's like, these elephants could easily break this tree in half. And if they didn't break the tree, they'd easily
be able to break the rope. So he goes up to the trainer and he says to him, you know, why are all
of these elephants just standing around? Like they could easily break that tree and break that rope.
Why are they just standing there when the rope is just tied to their leg? He starts to tell him
because when they're really, really young, what they do, and even though I hate that this
is an actual true thing, but I'm telling this because it's going to make sense to you in just
a minute. But this is true. This is actually how they train them not to leave. And what he says
to them though is that when they were younger and real small elephants, they had the exact same rope
that was tied to their leg, tied to the exact same tree.
And as they grew, they didn't realize that they could break through it. And so what happened was
they never had to put a bigger rope on them because they were conditioned to believe that
they could not break away. So they never had to tie a bigger rope, not because they physically
couldn't do it anymore,
but because mentally they didn't think that they could do it. And so one day in their lives,
the elephants realized that they're powerless and they gave away their power. Now, I hate that story because it seems like animal cruelty, but also on the other side, this relates perfectly to the way
that we hold ourselves back subconsciously.
You know, why do I share the story is because was there one day or one moment in your life
where you just gave up and you just gave your power away to somebody else's beliefs or somebody
else that they said to you, or the fact that you'll never be enough, or because of the fact
that you failed in the past, you're definitely going to fail again. You know, was there a day that you just gave up? Think about that for a
second. And the next question I have to follow up with that is if you stayed there forever and died
in the place that you're in, would you be excited about it or would you feel like there was wasted
potential? Because ultimately, how many of us are holding ourselves back because of something that
we failed at in the past? How many of us are holding ourselves back because of where we came
from? And the fact that everyone that I know when I was younger was poor, so therefore I'm going to
be poor when I grow up because I'm just the same as everyone else that I was raised around. How
many of us are holding ourselves back because of a belief that was programmed into us at a young age?
And when I say programmed, I don't mean that it was like some evil person's like,
oh, I'm going to program Rob into not believing that he's worth it.
What I mean is that sometimes you're just around people and people say things directly to you,
or they say things to each other and you hear it and it locks into your brain and says,
yeah, you know, I will be in the same position
because this is how everybody else, or I will be in the same position because my uncle when I was
younger told me that I was dumb and I'd never be good enough. Some people just hear something at
one point in time and it just locks into place. And how many of us are holding ourselves back
because of what a teacher or a parent or a family member or a friend or a brother or sister said to us when we were younger
and much more impressionable than we currently are right now. You know, it's bad enough that
we hold ourselves back from what we truly want because of limiting beliefs, but it's even worse
when you realize that you're holding yourself back, not because of your own beliefs, but because
of somebody else's beliefs that were around you when you were young and impressionable and it just locked into your brain and you decided to keep it.
And the example I always give is it's like somebody giving you a dirty shirt and you're
younger and you put the shirt on and they just say, hey, this is your shirt. And you put the
shirt on and then you just wear it your entire life and not even realize that you're wearing
the shirt. Somebody gives you a programming of not good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or
never going to make money or never going to be happy or never be successful, whatever it is.
They give you that quote unquote shirt, you put it on and then you wear it your entire life until
hopefully one day you wake up and you go, whose fucking shirt is this that I'm wearing? Right?
Like most people don't wake up and realize that they're wearing an old,
dirty shirt that isn't even theirs in the first place that was given to them when they were
younger. And so you have to ask yourself, am I holding on to unconscious programs that I'm not
even aware of? And when I say unconscious, it also means subconscious. So you have your conscious
mind, and then you have subconscious, which is below your conscious. And they say about 95% of our
things that we do every single day are subconscious actions. Our brain just does it. It's also called
a reflexive action. Our brain just does it because it's what we've always done. But how many of us
are holding ourselves back? Not because of our own beliefs, but because somebody gave us their
beliefs at one point in time. When I was younger, my very first job was I was a bird
and fish specialist. I know, be impressed. I was a bird and fish specialist at PetSmart.
And it was my very first job. So I was the guy who would feed all of the birds and all of the
little critters and the lizards and also the fish. And then I would clean all the fish tanks.
And the biggest tank that we had was filled with thousands and thousands and thousands of goldfish. And one thing I knew
from a very young age is that goldfish will only grow to the size of the actual
bowl that they're put in. And so a goldfish that's in captivity will only grow to about
one to two inches in a standard size tank, right? But if you go and you
find a goldfish in the wild, goldfish will grow to 12 to 14 inches. So let me say that again.
A goldfish in captivity in a small little tank will only grow to an inch to two inches, but a
goldfish out in the wild in a stream, in a river, in a pond will grow to 12 to 14 inches. So it will grow six to
seven times larger when it's inside of a larger body of water. Why in the hell do I say that?
Because think about how sometimes you are around people that think small. Think about how their
thinking small restricts your thinking to think small.
Sometimes you're around people that give you their limiting beliefs, and those limiting beliefs restrict you.
When in reality, if you were to be able to just completely let your mind go and your
imagination go and go for what it is that you want, you'd be that 14-inch goldfish.
But you have all of these little programmings and these restrictions and people that are
still around you that need to be released that are keeping you to be a one to two inch goldfish. You have so much potential to grow in to that
massive goldfish, but because of the things that are going on in your mind and the people that you
surround yourself with, you're not growing. And so sometimes when a fish isn't growing,
you don't blame the fish, you blame the actual surroundings that it's in and the tank that it's
in. So maybe if you're not growing, it's not 100% your fault at this moment.
It might be the fact that you need to hang out with some new people.
You need to release some people because they're actually restricting your growth
from being who you could be.
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And so maybe there's people around you, once again, that are talking about how broke they
are all the time. And you're subconsciously letting those broke programmings go into your
mind. Maybe there's people that are around you that are just consistently negative all of the
time. And they're just leaking that negativity into your brain. And it's hard for you to figure
out how to be positive because you have all of these little subconscious programmings.
95% of what's running in the background of your head is just negative, negative, negative. It's
really hard to grow outside of the bowl that you're in. And so what I think you should think of is
how many people around me are keeping me restricted? How many people around me are
giving me their programmings? How many people around me are making me more negative, are making
me more broke, are making me less happy, are bringing the joy and the peace out of my life?
more broke, are making me less happy, are bringing the joy and the peace out of my life.
Because if someone's taking that and they're restricting you,
maybe you should spend some less time with them. Maybe you should find some people that want you to succeed, that make you think bigger, that make you happier, that are always
positive and find the good in things even when bad things happen so that their programming start
to leak into your mind.
You know, it's like it'll slowly leak in and you don't even notice it. But things people say will click into your brain. And things people say to each other and you overhear will click
into your brain. So maybe you should be more cognizant of the people that you surround yourself
with as well as the programmings that you have. And that's the thing that's really hard about
programming is that if you're not looking for it, it's really hard to find. And so that's why I always say one of my favorite phrases
is when you're inside of the jar, it's hard to read the label. What that means is then when
you're inside of the jar of your life, inside of your own head, it's hard to see all of the
little places where you're hung up. It's hard to see all the little programmings that are holding
you back. It's hard to see all of those little limiting beliefs and where they came from and
how to get rid of them. So sometimes what you have to do is you have to actually take yourself
out of the jar, out of your own head, and look at yourself as if you're somebody else and start to
actually break down, hmm, what do I need to change about this person? What do I need to change about
their mindset? What do I need to change about their surroundings? What do I need to change about the way that they think? What do I need to change about their mindset? What do I need to change about their surroundings? What do I need to change about the way that they think?
What do I need to change about their programming?
Because that's what's so hard about the programming
is that if you're not looking for it,
it's really hard to find.
And so the first step of almost anything in life
is to become self-aware of it.
And when you can become self-aware of it,
you can start to see all the places that you're hung up
and all the places where you're holding yourself back. But once again, it's subconscious. It's
under the conscious mind and it goes so deep. And I've been working for 14 years to uncover
my programmings and I've released some of them and I've released some of them. And then one day,
something happens and I'm like, shit, I didn't even realize that I was still hung up right there.
And that's something that I need to work through. And that's the beautiful thing about self-development
is I see us as just like a flower that just continues to have new petals
that come off and then they fall off and you get new ones and then other ones fall off. You get
new ones and they fall off. That's kind of how it is with personal development is that, you know,
eventually you work through something, you work through something, you work through something
and it can go and you can release it. It's like a dead petal that falls off of the rose.
But what happens? Another one grows and you start to it. It's like a dead pedal that falls off of the rose. But what happens?
Another one grows and you start to become aware of another one
and another one and another one.
And you realize that this journey of life that you're on
is not about becoming perfect.
It's about just working through the little hangups that we have.
Realizing you might get to the end of your life
and not get through all of them.
And for some people, just that thought can make you really anxious. Or you can look at it and go, you know what? That's the journey that I can't
change this journey. I'm on this life. So I need to figure out a way to work through these things
and work through these programmings to make myself happier. Because ultimately, your happiness comes
down to you. Your success comes down to you. Your peace comes down to you. Your joy comes down to you. The amount of money in your bank account comes down to you. The amount of
people that you impact as well comes down to you. And so if you're going to be one of the people
that changes, you're going to have to actually start the change. You're going to have to wake
up one day like the elephant, if they could, look back at your foot and go, oh my God, I can break
this. I didn't even realize how powerful
I was. I can break this right now and I can just run off and I can be free because I've been
conditioned to think that I'm not good enough. I've been conditioned to think that I'm not able
to succeed. I've been conditioned to think that where I come from, everybody ends up going to
jail. I've been conditioned to think that I'm never going to get past the set of people that
I'm in. And what happens is you wake up one day, you look back at your leg and you go,
I'm going to break this damn thing. I'm going to get past this. I don't see any reason why
I need to be here anymore. And I'm going to go past this that I'm in. And just like the goldfish,
what happens? You go from one inch to two inches. And here's the beautiful thing about growth,
is that growth is exciting to people. One of the things that Tony Robbins says is that progress equals happiness. So if you are a little one-inch goldfish right now
and you start releasing some of your programs and releasing some of your living beliefs and
stop hanging out with negative people and start being around people that make you think bigger
and people that want to see you be successful, and you go from a one-inch goldfish to a two-inch
goldfish, and then you look in the rear of your mirror and you're like, man, look at how far I've come already. That little bit
of progress makes you happy. And we want more happiness. So what do we do? We go, well, if I
grew that much in six months, imagine how much I can grow in the next six months. And then so what
happens? You get excited about growth. You start working harder towards being more successful or towards growing more, being happier, more joyful, or more peaceful. And then you go
from a two-inch goldfish to a three-inch goldfish. And you're like, holy crap, look at how much I've
grown since I started on this journey. And then to four and five-inch goldfish. And then one day
you wake up and you're a 10-inch goldfish. And you're like, man, I'm so glad that I started on
this personal development journey. I'm so glad that I've put in all of the work. I'm so glad that I, instead of going out and
partying sometimes, decided to read. Because look at myself. Look at how far I've come.
And just that little bit of growth and seeing the way that you've grown makes you happy. Because
progress equals happiness. But the main thing that you have to do in order to start working
through these is develop your self-awareness. Realize that there's a lot of subconscious programmings
that are holding you back. You've been conditioned, not on purpose most of the time,
you've just been conditioned by the things that you've heard and the people that you've been
around to keep you inside of a smaller cage and smaller tank. It's time for you to break out of
the tank. It's time for you to break the of the tank. It's time for you to break the rope
that surrounds your foot. Become self-aware that they're there. Get rid of the things that are
holding you back and start growing yourself into the person that you want to become because no
one's going to come and save you. The only one that can save you is you, but you have to step
into the driver's seat and say, I'm going to do this. One of the best things that I think of that
really puts it in perspective is the analogy of your life is like being on a sailboat and you're the only one that's on this sailboat.
And if you're just letting life happen, that's why they say it's like drifting through life.
It's like hopping on a sailboat and just letting the winds take you to where you're going to go.
And then one day you wake up and you're in one place. Another day you wake up and you're in
another place. And then one day you actually not physically wake up, but mentally wake up and go, oh my God,
this entire time I've been on this ship, I didn't even realize that there was a steering wheel.
I can actually jump into the front of the steering wheel and I can direct the ship to where I want it
to go. When you finally wake up mentally and you start to do that, you realize that with just a
little bit of work and dedication into yourself, you can get yourself anywhere that you want to go the same way that you
can get that sailboat to go anywhere that you want to go. But you're the only one that can hop
in the captain's chair. So that's the way that life works. That's the journey of life that we're
on. Realize your programmings, realize your limiting beliefs, and realize that this journey that we're on is supposed to be fun. And so notice your little bit of hiccups, and that's okay. But
also make sure to look in the rear of your mirror every once in a while and look at how far you've
come. Because that little bit of seeing how far you've come will make you happy by seeing that
progression, which will give you the dopamine and the serotonin kick that you need to want to keep
doing it over and over again.
So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share with someone that you know and love. And I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single
episode. Make it your mission. Make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I
hope that you have an amazing day.