The Mindset Mentor - Compassion Over Hatred

Episode Date: July 29, 2016

Episode 147 -  It is easy to hate, but you know what is hard? To learn to have compassion when you want to hate. In this episode I dive deep into this topic and talk about how learning to have compassion will make you a happier, more patient person. Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Before we dive into today's episode, if you would like a free copy of our motivational ebook called Hack Your Goals, the Step-by-Step Guide to Achieving Success, go to mwfmotivation.com and download it. It's already been downloaded over a thousand times, so go ahead and get your copy now. All right, I'll get you the podcast right now. Welcome to the MWF Motivation Podcast, which I am proud to say has been rated the number one podcast in iTunes new and noteworthy in six different categories, including self-help and business, and is a podcast designed to help you grow into the best version of yourself in 10 to 20 minutes. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we'll take a life topic, break it down, discuss it, and leave you with thoughts to impact your life and mind. My name is Rob Dial, and

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So with that being said, what I'm going to go over is a little bit lighter of a subject, I guess you could say, but this is definitely something I want to cover with you guys. And one thing that's really changed my life is to learn how to have compassion for people, even when I want to hate them. And I think this will be really good for a lot of people to hear because I feel like a lot of people hold on to grudges for a really long time. And for those of you who have someone in your past that you just can't seem to forgive, this episode should be able to help you a ton. And I want you guys to know this. Everyone in the world is fighting some sort of battle that you know nothing about. And the quicker that you realize that and treat people accordingly, the quicker that you'll be able to learn to practice patience and how to be happier. Everyone in the world is fighting a battle that you know nothing about in their head, in their life, whatever it is. in their head, in their life, whatever it is.

And the reason why you'll be able to be more patient, you'll learn to be happier, is this. Let me give you an example. It's easy to get mad at someone when they cut you off on the road. I used to be really good at it. But you have no idea what's going on in that person's life at that moment. Sure, they might be a terrible driver.

That could be the case most of the time. Or it could actually be something else. They might be in a rush and you have no idea why. Maybe it's a husband who's driving to take his wife who's in labor. Maybe it's a woman who's rushing to see if she can spend the last few minutes of her father's life with him. Maybe it's a mother who's in a rush to get to the hospital because her teenage son just got in a bad car accident. You don't know. So when you learn that you can have compassion for everybody and make it your mission that you give compassion and you have compassion for people, your patience will get a lot better. You'll have a lot more patience with everything

that you have. And obviously the last episode was how to have patience. And that's the thing that you don't know. You don't know what's going on in someone else's life, and what you can do is you can choose to have compassion over hatred. Try this out today. Look at someone as you pass them. Look at them. I mean, really look into their eyes. Some people are good at hiding it, and some people are absolutely terrible. They carry their pain on their face, and it is so easy to read. And I learned this when I first became a manager with Cutco. And the way I started getting really compassionate with people was the fact that I had talked to my reps and they got so close to me that I realized so many people have a really, really hard road in life. Some of my reps, my sales reps that were with me

only stuck around and kept coming back because I was the first and only person who ever told them that I believed in them. They never heard it from their parents. They never heard it from their grandparents or family members. And in fact, most of them not only didn't hear that from them, they heard terrible things from their parents, like they're worthless and that they're stupid and that they're never amount to anything. Do you know what that does to someone's self-confidence? Have someone that you love tell you that when you're a child? So when someone hurts you, you have to realize that they might not be trying to do so. They might just be showing you love the only way that they've ever

known to get loved. When someone's parents yell at them constantly, verbal abuse, and then they become verbally abusive to other people, I think that your hatred should be way less than your compassion for them because you have no idea what they're going through inside their heads. And lately, I've been talking to a lot of my friends and some of my coaching clients about their past and their childhood and talking about something that we call a paradigm. It's something that I talk about a lot in my group coaching is your paradigm. If you don't know what it is, come to one of the webinars whenever my next webinar is. It's going to be a few weeks at least. But because I teach it there, I talk about the paradigm there and I talk about it much more in depth in my group coaching. But it might be one

of the most important things you will ever learn to fix your mindset is your paradigm. And anyways, a lot of little boys and little girls, they're mean. Absolutely. I mean, they're vicious. And we carry a lot of hatred for them our entire lives for what happened to us when we were in middle school or elementary school or the way we were treated in high school. And we carry that with us. And a lot of women that I know and women that I coach as well have talked about little girls and how vicious they can be. And they will just tear you apart. It's crazy. So for some of you women that have had some vicious little friends when you were a little girl, I can feel for you. I understand. But you have to think about this. When we start talking to these people about these vicious girls' home lives, we realize that they have a terrible home

life or they weren't good at all. Some of them had alcoholic mothers or verbally abusive fathers. And these women are now in their late 20s or 30s. And you can see that they're still carrying limiting beliefs. They're still carrying hatred. They're still carrying fears with them that these little girls who are mean to them, when they were eight years old, nine years old, whatever it was, they're still carrying these things with them from what somebody said to them when they were a little kid. You know, two little eight-year-old girls,

one girl might say something to the other one and that other one could carry that with them. Something clicks in their head right there and it stays with them forever. Little boys aren't much better. That's for sure. Little boys love to pick on and beat up each other and try to show their dominance. But you have to realize, I know, I understand, you have to understand in some sort of way inside of you, you have to figure out a way to have compassion for them and have that compassion outweigh the hatred that you have for them. And this is where, you know, I completely understand there's people who, you know, girls and boys who are backstabbing and they hooked up with your boyfriend or girlfriend or, you know,

they were verbally abusive, or whatever it might be. And you can hate them for that. You can hate that you were backstabbed by a 13-year-old, or you can learn to have compassion for them because the people who are supposed to love them the most, their mother and father, most likely hurt them the most. The reason why they were lashing out at you or doing something bad to you was because they were, to their parents, they can only be the beating stick. They just get beat down verbally, sometimes physically, and then all they know is to do the exact same thing to other people. So you can hate them for what they've done to you, or you can learn to have compassion

for all the stuff that they had to go through. Because believe me, I understand little boys and little girls are vicious, but you know what's worse? A little boy or a little girl that was vicious and what they had to go through with their parents and their parents were yelling at them and their parents were abusive and all of those things. So you have to realize what they went through is way worse than what you went through. And that's how you have compassion for these people. That's how you learn to have compassion. Realize what they went through was way worse than what you went through. And what they're still going through, if you're

still carrying it around with you, guess what? They're carrying way more around with them. So if you're still trying to overcome that, I guarantee it's going to be much harder. If a female grows up and has a verbally abusive father, do you know how hard it is going to be for her to have successful relationships? You should have more compassion for her than you do hatred. And you need to find where your forgiveness needs to come in. This is where your forgiveness should come in. You need to find where your forgiveness needs to come in. This is where your forgiveness should come in. You need to build up your compassion, enough compassion to forgive them. And if you can do it over the phone or if you could do it or whatever it might be, these wounds will be able to heal for you. So some of you guys that have things that you've hatred that you've carried

over the years were for specific people talking to them and saying, Hey, listen, I want to apologize. This is how you start off. You say, I want to apologize. And you apologize first for mistakes that I probably made. I know I did a lot of stupid things and I just want to say that I apologize. And I want to say that I know you did a lot of things as well. And I just say that I want to say that I want to forgive you for the things that you did. And that's all you have to say. You don't have to be friends with them. You don't have to start hanging out on the weekends again, but when you can actually talk with them and then they go, you know what? I did make a lot of mistakes. I'm sorry for the person that I was 10 years ago,

15 years ago. You can heal that wound and get past it instead of carrying this hatred, carrying this heavy bag, this burden on your back all of the time. So the moral of this story is to learn to have compassion for people. Realize that a lot of people are going through stuff that you're not going through at this point. If things are going pretty well for you right now, if things are going decently well for you right now, there's a lot of people, things are going terrible for them. And that's when you learn to have compassion. You learn to realize that what they went through in their life when they were younger could have been way worse than what you went through. So your compassion

for people should always outweigh your hatred for them. So with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. Please share this episode. We're going to be so close to hitting our goal. But unless we get a ton of shares in the next 30 days, we're not going to hit the goal. So please share with as many people as you can. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.

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