The Mindset Mentor - Conquering 'I'm Not Good Enough'

Episode Date: December 3, 2020

We all question whether or not we are good enough; that is called the impostor syndrome. In this episode, we are going to talk about how to conquer the impostor syndrome so that you can stop holding yourself back from what it truly is that you want to do.Follow me on Instagram for more inspiration @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast, business edition. I'm your host, Rob Dial. I'm here with my co-host, Dean DeVries. And today we're going to be talking about quite possibly the number one thing that holds people back from everything that they want in life, from the life that they truly want to building the business that they truly want to possibly making millions of dollars and most importantly, making a massive impact on people as well. And that is the imposter syndrome, back from really stepping into their greatness and also making the impact that they're meant to make and ultimately living the life that they, the, the main thing being that they're focused on themselves versus the purpose. So we'll just kind of start there and unpack that. Yeah. So here's the thing. If somebody has an imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome means like, who the hell am I to do this? Who the hell am I to start a podcast? Who the hell am I to start creating YouTube videos? Who the hell am I to start a business? Who the hell am I to start creating YouTube videos? Who the hell am I to start a business? Who the hell am I to coach others? Who the hell am I to be a dietician? Who

the hell am I to be the number one salesperson in my company? Who the hell am I to get promoted to CEO or upper level management and on and on and on and on and on. And when you say on self, what you're really meaning is that they're only thinking about themselves, right? They're thinking about, Oh, who am I to do this? I'm not good enough to do this. I shouldn't be doing this. Or what are people going to think of me? What are people going to think of me? What is my mom going to say?

What are my parents going to say if I decide to go down this way? And they're only thinking about themselves versus thinking about the actual purpose behind what it is they want to do. So we could take my podcast as an example, right? I could have sat there and almost did. And for a while, I actually didn't start the podcast because I was afraid that I wasn't good enough to coach people on a massive scale. And so I did it for a really long time. You know, there's people out there that could think, I don't know if I, if I'm good enough to

get into upper level management, because I don't think that I'm a good enough leader. And what we're saying is in reality, when you're on self and not on purpose, that means you're thinking about yourself versus the purpose that you actually want to go out and accomplish the people that you want to serve more than anything else. And also like, what is the thing that you have been putting on the back burner because,

uh, and the thing that maybe makes you feel alive, but you've been putting on, on the back burner because of this limiting belief, you're focused too much on the self versus focused on, man, this is what I could be doing. Imagine what that would feel like. Imagine the, the lives that I could change and also the way that I could change my life. So yeah, I love that frame just, you know, on self or on purpose. And with every, with every way that we show up to each part of our business, I love just having that like awareness and it takes practice is like, if I, most of the time, if we are experiencing fear or some sort of resistance, most of the time

we're focused on ourself versus the actual purpose, which is the imposter syndrome. Yeah. And you know, the way it usually shows up is this, I'm not ready yet. Right. I'm, you know, I need to work on myself a little bit more. Okay. I want to start a podcast, but in order for me to start a podcast, I need to read at least a hundred more books. Right. I need to study more. I need to do this. I need to get better. You get certified. I need to get certified to be a podcaster, right? Whatever the hell is out there. Right. And the problem with that is that you're right. You're not ready. But the problem with not being ready is that you'll actually never be ready. The only way to become ready is to actually start. Yeah. Because what happens is you don't know where you need to improve, how you need to improve, what you're good at.

And the example I always give is it's basically like a basketball player who just sits there and watches all of the games of all of the other teams, but never actually stepped foot on the court. How are you going to improve? You have to get on the court. You can't just watch all of the other teams. So of course there is the learning. There is the growing side of it.

But then there's also getting on the actual court and figuring out whatever it is that you need to figure out. Yeah. Yeah. And the other thing too, is like every master started at the exact place that you are right now. So whatever it is that, that you feel like you're holding back from the person that, you know, for you, it was like Tony Robbins, right? Why should I start a podcast of Tony Robbins? Well, Tony Robbins started there too, right? And the only difference between, you know, if you're listening to this and you're being held back because of the imposter syndrome, the only person that isn't the imposter and

the only difference between the imposter and you is that the imposter, uh, or I'm sorry, you as the imposter versus the person that you look up to or you're comparing yourself to is that that person, when they had imposter syndrome, they took action. They just started the journey. Yeah. And you'll never be ready. All you have to do is just start. And so it's like people look and they're like, oh, I wish I had hundreds of thousands of followers online. Every person who has hundreds of thousands of followers online once had zero. It's the way it goes, right? And so you say, oh, I want to be a great teacher, but I'm just not smart enough yet. I haven't gotten to where I want to be. I want to be a great podcaster, but there's so much more that

I want to learn. I want to be a great whatever it is, X, Y, Z, fill in the blank. One of my favorite phrases is that the best teachers are still learning. The best healers are still healing. Every single person is on a path. And to think that you're not ready yet is actually you slowing down the path that you need to get onto. And, you know, we live in a world that's full. I think part of the problem, if not one of the biggest problems is that we live in a world that's full. I think part of the problem, if not one of the biggest problems is that we live in a world that's full of degrees and certifications, right? Where I'm not ready yet. I need to go get my next certification, right? Like one of the things, if we go into coaching, we've coached a lot of coaches, right? I need, I need to go get my life

life coaching certification. Really? Life coaching certification. Like I had to understand if you like, got to learn how to become a surgeon to do surgery, you have to get your life coaching certification to become a life coach. What are you coaching them on? Right. Life. What have you been doing your entire life? What have you been doing? Right. And so it comes back to a feeling of I'm not good enough more than anything else. I need another degree. I need another certification. I just graduated with my bachelor's. Now I've got to go back and get my master's. After I get my master, I've got to get

my PhD. Like we all know people who have degrees that are just falling off the walls, but they still can't figure it out. Yeah. And I think one of the things that you're also speaking to is like, you know, that idea that people have to be the guru first before they can lead somebody else through it. When it's like the guru, that archetype actually isn't even the most powerful. I would much rather follow somebody or learn from somebody that is like, Hey, I'm not a guru, but I'm really committed to this path. And I'm really committed to learning and growing in this way and would love to take you along for the ride. Yeah. And if you think of, you know, when you say guru, we can say all types of

gurus, but where guru comes from is from India. There'd be a spiritual guru that you would follow, right? And they would have, you know, you'd follow them. They teach you spirituality and they teach you the way. I till this this day, have not found the guru certification program. I don't know where that is. And so if they didn't have to do it, I'm pretty sure that you don't have to do it as well. Now, I'm not saying, you know, if you want to be an architect, don't go to school to be an architect. Like you have, there's certain things that you do have to get degrees for. There's certain things that you should get certifications for, if it's nutrition, possibly something around that. Even in that case, not always, but you know, it depends on what it is that you're actually

trying to do, but a piece of paper will not make you feel ready. Yeah. The only thing that's going to make you feel ready is going out, working with people, working on whatever it is that you want to work on, doing whatever it is you need to do. And by getting some form of results, because results are what builds confidence in yourself. When you see, oh my gosh, I just helped this person. I just changed this person's life. I just, you know, coach this person, or I just had one of my employees come in and I changed their perspective. That's what gives you the confidence that you are on the right path and you can continue to get better. Yeah. Well, and even still like those areas where a certification might

be necessary, whether it's being an architect or a surgeon, the certification or the completion of the curriculum doesn't equate to being valuable, right? So there's people that have gone through all the certifications to your point, it's fallen off the wall, but still don't add value. But then there's also people that are super valuable, but they don't have certifications or any sort of formal training or education. And I mean, there's, you know, if you look at human history, there's many of the best teachers in the world that didn't have any formal curriculum that they went through and said, Hey, I got certified by this association. That that's why you should listen to me. Right. What ultimately makes you qualified as results. And if you can bring results to people, then you're good. Yeah. I remember when

you were, we were younger. We used to interview a lot of people when we were in our early twenties, I was like 20, 21 years old. And I would be interviewing people that are 40, 50, 60 years old sometimes. And sometimes they'd feel really weird. This is, you know, back in 2005. So at this point in time, LeBron James is like 21, 22, 23, something like that. Right. And, uh, they'd come in and they'd be like, you know, I feel kind of weird. Cause you know, you're young and I feel like, you know, I'm, I'm twice your age. I should be coaching you or I should be teaching you whatever it is. And I said, okay, I've got a question for you. Let's say that, uh, let's say LeBron James is like, you know what, you know, Jonathan,

I want to teach you how to play basketball. Would you go, Oh no, uh, sorry, LeBron, you're too young. Right. They're like, no, of course not. Why not? Because he's one of the best in the world. And I look him dead in the eye and go, how do you know that I'm not? And it's that level of confidence. And I only, dead in the eye and go, how do you know that I'm not? And it's that level of confidence. And I only, I didn't have that confidence starting, but I only got that level of confidence from going out, hiring people, training them in seeing success, whether they were 17, 18, 19, 20, 45, 60 years old, didn't matter. Right. But I would have had that level of confidence if I just sat back and didn't train anybody to be successful. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent.

And so one of the things I think that it really holds people back the most though, do you want to know where it is? Money. Yeah. People think who the hell am I to make a million dollars in a year, right? I'm not good enough to make a million dollars in a year. And if you think that way, you never will make the money that you want to, whatever it is, whether it's a hundred thousand, whether it's a million, whether it's 10 million. And so what happens is not only do we have the imposter syndrome in our businesses, but we also have the imposter syndrome in our finances as well. And if you have imposter syndrome in your finances, I promise you your business will also have issues around that.

Yeah. A hundred percent. Well, you know, and also like look at the statistic of when people win the lottery. Right. Right. They, even though it's not like, you know, oh, I don't want to win the lottery because I don't feel like I'm good enough. But this is just, this is a way that this idea of the imposter syndrome and somebody normalizing the identity of somebody that earns a lot of money or somebody that has a lot of money. It's something that we kind of have to step into mentally and spiritually and

emotionally and like be ready for that. And that's really what the imposter syndrome is, is that there's that resistance to stepping into that identity. Yeah. Right. And so that's what an imposter is, is like, that's an identity thing.

And so the whole idea behind, you know, somebody winning the lottery and then what's the statistic? Like three, four years later, they're even worse off than when they than before they hit the lottery. They're even poorer than before they won the lottery. Go into all the debt. They don't have the maturity to handle that much. to all the debt. They don't have the maturity to handle that much. So, um, you know, the other thing that comes up for me is, is that, you know, the imposter syndrome, I always think about that, uh, uh, that one quote by, um, I think it's Vincent Lombardi where he talks about, he has that, that speech that's like, our fear isn't that we're not good enough, but our fear is that we're actually powerful beyond belief or something to that effect.

Marian Williamson. Okay. Who says it? Okay. Yeah. Screw that one. Yeah. You know, it's like, it's like, it's like Abraham Lincoln said, internet's a dangerous thing, right?

Whatever. Who knows who said what anymore? Honest Abe. Yeah. But it is the truth. It is the truth because we were not afraid of sitting at home and doing nothing. We're not afraid of any of those things. What we're truly afraid of is stepping into who we truly feel like we could be. And what it comes down to is limiting beliefs, right? Like, I don't know if I'm good enough.

What if I'm found out? How often does that happen with people? Like, what if i'm good enough what if i'm found out how often does that happen with people like what if i'm found what if people realize how terrible i am what if people realize the things i've done what if people realize that you know i'm not qualified they paid me all of this money and now they realize that i'm not qualified then it would not it would be easier to just sit back and do something not do anything than to go out and be rejected. It would be easier to, you know, sit back on my couch and not do anything than to get a sale. And then them ask for a refund because they might find me out. They might find out that I'm not good enough. And one of the really interesting things is that when you think about limiting beliefs, and I had an episode on this, is that you can't think your way through limiting beliefs.

So people are like, oh, I have this limiting belief around, I don't know if I'm good enough in my business right here. You're like, okay, so what are you going to do about it? Well, I was thinking about journaling and thinking about it even more. You're going to think through your limiting beliefs. It doesn't happen that way. Sorry to say it to everybody, but what happens is you have to actually work through your limiting beliefs In the physical world. What do I mean by that? If you don't feel like you're a good enough, you know business owner You can't think about how you're not good enough. What you need to do is go out into the world as the business owner Work your ass off and get some results that prove that your limiting beliefs are bullshit That's the only way to get confidence. It's real interesting because people are always like, I wish I was born confident. I wish I was

confident like this person. You know, that person walks in the room, like you could tell a confident person when they walk in the room. I guarantee you every single confident person that people are thinking about right now was not born that way. Yeah. They weren't, they were probably shy when they were younger. But what happens is throughout life, throughout business, throughout everything that you do, life, if you go out and actually say, you know what, I'm going to do it anyways. I don't care what people think about me. I'm going to work really hard. You're going to get some results and you're going to get a little bit more results. You're going to get a little bit more results. And each time that you get results, it's like your confidence ends up just stacking on top of itself. And then five years down the road,

you just happen to be a confident person, right? We all know people who weren't confident five years ago, 10 years ago, and they meet them now and you're like, wow, you're different than you used to be. Yeah. Yeah. I also think that like in order to combat the imposter syndrome, you have to step outside of your comfort zone. There's a direct proportion. It's the, the, the size of your comfort zone is directly proportionate to the size of your confidence. And when you step outside of your comfort comfort zone, your comfort zone then increases. There's more things that can fit into that comfort zone because you're more confident that confidence, you know, uh, gives you the courage to step into the identity of your highest potential. And that's, that's how to overcome it to your point. Just another frame of looking at it is

you've got to get results. You've got to step into that. You've got to meet it with courage. You can't wait for the fear to go away. The fear might not ever go away. The fear might always be there. That little voice that says you're not good enough. I know it pops up for me all the freaking time, but as long as I meet that with courage and trust in myself that I'm like, I got this and then just do it. Then I can tell my brain to quiet that voice down so I can continue taking action, continue creating, continue living and building the life that I truly want. Yeah. That's interesting the way that you said that, because I say that pretty often in people as well, where the thing that they don't realize is that the confidence will not always be there. And most of the time it's not there.

And the difference between an unsuccessful person, successful person is not that the successful person doesn't have fears. It's not that they're fear. Like I hate when people say, and here's our fearless leader. No, your fearless leader is fucking terrified all the time too, right? Everybody's always afraid and that's okay. Everybody has the little voice inside of their head. And I don't even know if the little voice ever goes away. Mine still has not gone away to this point, but it's like a nagging voice that's in the back of your head that you just drowned out after a while. It's still pops up. But what the difference between a successful person, unsuccessful person is, is a successful person listens to that little voice. An unsuccessful person goes, Oh, Hey, it's you again.

Cool. I appreciate you being here, but I'm not going to listen to you. I'm going to take action anyways. Yeah. That's it. That's the only difference. A successful person. Yeah. But yeah, everybody knows. I just want to fuck everybody. So really what it is, is that the successful person doesn't listen to the voice that's inside of their head. Yeah. Right. I still have limiting beliefs that pop up all the time, but the best part about those limiting beliefs is it actually shows me where I need to push further into when I have those feelings of not good enough, not smart enough, whatever it is, I don't know if I can do this. The old me used to go, yeah, you should probably just not do anything. You should sit on the couch. You should probably go on Instagram. The new me, the one that I've

been trying to build into over years and years and years goes, here's a little voice. You know what's good about this little voice? It's showing me that I need to push through this little voice because that's actually my next obstacle or my next opportunity to grow myself. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. And the thing that's, that's interesting about it is that there's no secret sauce. There's no meditation we can put you guys through. There's nothing we could do in that, in that situation. The only way to really get past your limiting beliefs is you have to get off your ass and start. Here's what it looks like. Number one, you got to start.

Number two, you got to get results. Those results are going to then number three, build your confidence. And number four, what you do is you stack your confidence. Just imagine just little Legos of confidence. And every time you get results, it's just going to keep growing. Yeah. And the piece of advice that I'll have to everybody listening right now, that if you suffer from the imposter syndrome, which basically if you're a human, then you probably do.

If you can fog a cup. Right. Basically, you basically have the imposter syndrome somewhere in your life. So to push through that, adopt this belief. You are ready, even though you fucking aren't. Yeah. And you'll always be that way. There's always going to be, and going back to what you just said, there's always going

to be another level of imposter syndrome. Correct. So don't ever expect the imposter syndrome to go away. That is an unrealistic expectation. If you're attached to that expectation, you're going to have a life of suffering. Instead, welcome that and say, where is the new imposter that's showing up for me? And to your point, so I can lean into that and I can become a more optimized version of myself. And it's not about quieting the voice. It's not about, you know, getting the voice out of your head. Again, the voice has a place there,

but if you can build the muscle of choosing and consciously allowing yourself to take the advice of your highest self versus the imposter syndrome voice or that little voice that's trying to keep you in your comfort zone, that's how you win. That's how you manifest the life that you want. That's how you can live the life of purpose, the live of life of abundance. And that's ultimately what we're all after. Yeah. of purpose, the live of life of abundance. And that's all ultimately what we're all after. Yeah. And this is the reason why I love cold showers is because that little voice that pops up inside of your head every single time that you want to take a cold shower that says, no, just take a warm shower. There's nobody else here that's going to ever know that you didn't take a

cold shower. That little voice is the exact same voice that pops up and says, you're not good enough. You should probably go back to school. You should get another degree. You should go and get a certification. What if they find out that you're not smart enough? What if they find out all the terrible things that you did? Oh my gosh, you want to be, you know, a leader in your company. Do you remember all the drugs you used to do in college, right? Like there's all of those things that continue. And when you can, when you can learn to take a cold shower, besides all of the health benefits, which there's tons of them, we're going to talk about them. Everybody can Google it. But when you can hear that little voice, cause it pops up every day and says, dude, don't do it. I mean, just do it tomorrow.

Yeah. Just, just don't even worry about it. And you can go, fuck you. I'm going. And you just jump into it and do it anyways. You get that muscle of not listening to the little voice. It can become stronger every single day. It's the same little voice that pops up in the morning when your alarm clock goes off and says, hit the snooze alarm. It's the same voice that says everything that holds you back from your truest potential.

And so if you can learn to build the muscle of, I don't care what you're saying inside of my head, I'm going to do it anyways. You're going to push past everything. Yeah. And one of the things that makes it super simple is this. I heard this years ago and it really helped me out when I was newer on my journey. And there was a guy that was, you know, he was doing a selfie video and he was, he said, hey, listen, I want to give you guys a tip. And it was, he was trying to show off his place in Bali. And, you know, like one of those influencer type videos. Don't know if the guys I've ever seen anything else from this guy, but the one thing he said, I was like, actually, this is pretty good.

And he was talking about the imposter syndrome. And he said, you know, if you were to rate yourself on a scale of one to 10 and whatever it is that you want to do, right? So let's say that you want to move into upper level management at your company, or you want to be a great salesperson, whatever it is that you want to do. If you were to go, okay, on a scale of one to 10, what would I rate myself in X category? Maybe it's sales or knowledge of our product or, you know, hard work and making cold calls. That could be for a salesperson. On the other end, if it's someone that's trying to climb the corporate ladder and they're trying to grow in their business, maybe

it's knowledge around how this business works or how to close large deals or how to do business acquisitions, whatever it is that you do. On the other side of that, then you also have, you know, let's say that you own an HVAC company, right? And you're like, you know what? How much do I know about, you know, heating and cooling? I'm like, no, whatever it is, whatever that number is from one to 10, figure out what it is for you, right? Now ask yourself this question, you know? So for me, I remember when I first started and I was like, well, I'm gonna start a podcast. What would I rate myself? I was like a six and a half to seven, you know, that was like years and years and years and years and years of working on myself and reading hundreds of books. I still would have put myself at six and a half and seven, right?

And I was like, probably six and a half or seven. And then ask yourself the question, what would everybody else in the world rate themselves? 7.5 billion people, what would they rate themselves? Right? So if you want to be an incredible salesperson, what would you rate yourself compared to other people in sales? If you want to coach people in sales, what would you rate yourself compared to them in sales? Maybe you're at a seven and a half in sales and you want to go out and be a sales coach or a sales

trainer. What would you rate everybody else? Zero, one, a two maybe? Yeah. Right. If I'm going to go out and start a podcast that's on personal development, I would rate myself a six and a half or a seven. The average person's never read a personal development book. So what are they? myself as six and a half or seven. The average person's never read a personal development book. So what are they? A zero, a one? There's 7.5 billion people. Imagine how many hundreds of thousands to millions of people you could impact in some form or another. But you're too busy thinking about how you're not at the peak of all peaks and the best of the best versus looking down and saying, there's so many people in this world that I can impact.

Yeah. That's such a good point. Yeah. Cause it's like, if you're a great salesperson, you're, you've been working on your sales ability and your sales skills over the last, you know, 10 years. Well, if you're a six or a seven right now, what were you when you first started? Right. well, if you're a six or a seven right now, what were you when you first started? Right. And could you teach somebody that's starting in that journey something that you know right now? Well, yeah, there's tons. Could you now have taught yourself then something?

Right. And would you have appreciated it? Right. And then you go, oh, damn. Yeah. If I would have, you know, four years ago, been able to come back from right now and teach myself something, I would have gotten a lot of value. Yeah. If I would have, you know, four years ago, been able to come back from right now and teach myself something, I would have gotten a lot of value. Yeah. How many of yous four years ago are out there? Yeah. You know, but really what it comes down to is number one, not listening to

a little voice inside of your head. And number two, just get your ass moving. Yeah. There is no secret sauce. Just take the next step. You don't have to have full clarity to take the next step forward. It's like, you know, I love the analogy of imagine driving down a 50 mile road here in the middle of Arizona, right? There's no lights. It's just a long straightaway road and all you, it's in the middle of the night. There's no lamps, no lights, nothing. All you have are the headlights right in front of you that can only see, you know, 100, 150

feet in front of you. You're not, you know, 100, 150 feet in front of you. You're not worried about what's ahead 20 miles from there, right? There might, there's whatever's there is going to be there when you get there, right? The only thing you have to worry about is what's right in front of you, whatever your headlights can see, that's what's most important. So just take that next step. So only worry about what's in your headlights. And then once you get to end those headlights, guess what? You're going to be lit up another 150 feet. And that's all you have to do is one step after the other.

But what it comes down to is number one, it's no secret sauce. You just got to start. Number two, after you start, you'll eventually start getting results. Even if you suck, you're still get some results. Number three, you got to build your confidence from those results. And before notice your confidence, just start stacking start stacking them one on top of the other, on top of the other, top of the other. Because this is the key to it.

And this is what we'll leave you guys. You are ready, even though you're not. Love it. And that's what we got for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share with someone that you know and love. Please go ahead and tag us on your Instagram stories. Tag me, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.

And tag Dean, at Kaizen Dean, K-A-I-Z-E-N-D-E-A-N. Tag us in there. Let us know what you thought. And I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you had an amazing day.