The Mindset Mentor - Conquering the Inner B*tch!

Episode Date: November 18, 2020

There is a little voice inside of your head that is holding you back from everything you want in this world... I call it the inner bitch! In this episode, I am going to teach you how to conquer that inner bitch! :-)Follow me on Instagram for more inspiration @RobDialJr https://instagram.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the entire world. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you love this podcast and you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive some inspirational text messages from me sporadically to your cell phone, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be talking about how to smash the little voice that's inside of your head that holds you back from every single thing that you want in this world. And as I like to call, if you've been listening for a while, I like to call that voice the inner bitch. And I want to teach you today how to not negotiate with your mind.

When you decide that you want to do something and then the little voice comes in and says something to you, you don't want to negotiate with that part of you. You don't want to negotiate. You don't want to listen to it. You want to work past it. And if you notice, if you've been listening for the past few weeks, as we build in and start to get into 2024, the tone of our podcast episodes has kind of changed a little bit. I've kind of stopped talking about a lot of the mindset things that are the intricacies and psychology of being a human. Then I've really started to go deep into, hey, let's freaking take some action. Let's create the life that we want. Let's stop BSing. Because really, that's what it comes down to. As we build into the next year, a lot of people tend to take their

foot off the gas. Oh, we're going into the holidays. I'll just kind of wait and I'll create a better version of myself in January. And really that's not what it comes down to right now is about the moment where you really decide I'm going to put my foot on the gas and I'm going to build momentum into 2024 into next year. So when I get into my New Year's resolutions, I'm not starting on my back foot. I'm starting from my front foot with momentum on my side with consistency. And today we're going to talk about how to smash that little inner voice that's inside of your head. Now, why would you want to smash the inner voice inside of your head? Why would you want to work past that thing?

Because it's my belief, and I feel like I have a decent amount of proof to prove this, is that everything that you truly want that you don't have right now is on the other side of your fears. And it's on the other side of that little voice that's inside of your head that tries to hold you back. It's on the other side of the excuses that you're giving yourself day in, day out. You know, there's a quote that I heard Will Smith say one time, and he says, God put all the amazing things in this world on the other side of fear. And so fear will never really leave you. It's built into our system as a human to be fearful. It kept our species alive. There's a part of our brain called the amygdala that basically creates fears. Whenever things are going really well, you could be just sitting on the couch and you just had a great meditation session and maybe you're sitting there and you're enjoying

a cup of coffee with your dog and then boom, something will just hit you, right? And so if fears are going to exist, how do we actually use our fears? I think that the only thing we should really fear are our fears. Don't fear anything else. Fear fear because living a life captive of your fear is not a life that's fully lived. I was reading a book not too long ago and it was talking about living fully. And he said, think about the life that you currently live, the life that's based in fear, that doesn't create what you want to, that's based in scarcity, that's worried about what

other people think about you all the time and worried about opinions. He's like, that's not a life that's fully lived. A life that's fully lived is free from all of that. And really that's what we're trying to get to. And we all have that little voice inside of us. We all have a voice that's happening inside of our head. There's, you know, if you don't believe me that, no, there's not a little voice happening inside of our head. There's, you know, if you don't believe me that, no, there's not a little voice happening inside of my head. That thought is the voice inside of your head. And there's always a narrative. There's always a story. There's always talking that's going on in the background. Even when you're trying to meditate, even when you're trying to make things amazing, there seems like that little voice keeps popping in, doesn't it? And that voice is either pulling us forward towards the life that we want, or it's holding

us back from doing what it is that we truly want. And I would say for most of us, myself included, a lot of times, it's really holding us back more than anything else. For me, that voice, I've been working on it now for 18 years, and I have still at this point not gotten rid of that voice. I don't think that voice will ever go away. But really what it's about is becoming aware of it, becoming aware of how it is holding me back and then taking action regardless, not negotiating with my mind. Because the life that you want is on the other side of the actions that you're

afraid to take. Nothing in your life will change unless you change. Everything in your life will be exactly the same. It's crazy to me. I've been in this industry for a really long time now. I'm only 37, but when you look at it, I started when I was 20 years old. So it's been 17 years. And it's crazy to me to see how many people want a different life. Almost every person I've ever come in contact with wants something to be different in their life, but most people are unwilling to do something about it. It's insane. You want your life to be different, but you're unwilling to do something about it, which means that if we're unwilling to do something about it, nothing will be different. Some people listening to this episode right now are in the exact same position that they were a year ago. They're in

the exact same position they were five years ago or 10 years ago. When I sometimes do webinars or I'll do lives and I'm in front of people, I'll say, how long have you been stuck in your current comfort zone? And it's wild. Sometimes are people like a year, five years, 10 years, 30 years, 40 years, people have been stuck in the exact same place. And as my first mentor used to always tell me, you're either green and growing or you're brown and dying. And so if we've been stuck in the same place for a year, five years, 10 years, we're either green and growing or brown and dying. And so we're stuck in the exact same place mentally, physically, emotionally. And listen, I love all of you that are listening. And I say this with all of all the love in my

heart that I could possibly say it, but you got to get your shit together. It's really what it comes down to. If you want something to be different, you have to be different. You know, if you look at Newton's first law, it says an object at rest stays at rest unless acted upon by an external force. So when you look at the first law, Newton's first law, an object at rest stays at rest unless acted upon by an external force. Your 2024 is going to be exactly the same as 2023 unless you do something about it. You have to be the change. You have to be the external force to change your life. You need to take different action.

No one is going to come to save you. And the thing that holds you back from taking that action that you know you should be taking, because all too often I see people and I'm like, hey, you know what you need to do, right? And most people are like, yeah, but I'm just not doing it. So that little voice inside of your head is the thing that's holding you back from taking the action. Your little voice has always been there, at least since you were a young child, somehow it came to you. And if you listen to my episode that I did with the BetterHelp therapist, she said that the way that we speak to ourselves is usually the same way that our parents used to speak to us.

Our first caregiver, our first primary caregiver spoke to us. And so that little voice inside of your head usually comes from a parent in some sort of way, or usually comes from people that were raising you. comes from a parent in some sort of way, or usually it comes from people that were raising you. But you must realize that just because you think it and just because you believe it does not mean that it's true. So if you believe, oh, I'm just not good enough, that's not true. That's just something that you believe. That's not written into the fabric of the universe. That voice will probably always be there though. That's the thing that I want you to understand most people are just like well how do I how do I get rid of the voice I don't I don't know if you get rid of the voice I've been trying for a really long really long time but now I just kind of see

him as the annoying roommate that's inside of my head and I'm like oh there's the annoying roommate again and I don't listen to him he's yelling at me he's saying certain things and he's always been there and he probably will always be there. But now I've just learned how to still create the life that I want regardless of that roommate. That voice will probably always be there. You must take action regardless of what the voice says. It might be a little bit quieter next year or two years or 10 years down the road, but it probably ain't going anywhere.

And you know what I mean when I say the little voice, right? It's the little voice that pops in and you want to start that business. But then immediately once you decide that you want to start a business, all of these fears, all these limiting beliefs, all these, you're not good enough. You're not smart enough. You're not pretty enough. You're not fit enough. You're not worthy. Why would anybody listen to you? Go back to bed. Don't work out. Sleep in. Scroll on Instagram for an hour versus make those 20 cold calls. Stay on the couch. Don't do something with yourself. It's that little voice that's inside of your head that keeps you inside of your comfort zone. And so then you look at the comfort zone. And I've been thinking about this

for a really long time. And the best way that I can give you an analogy of a comfort zone, why do we, you know, in this day and age, in 2023, why do we stay inside of our comfort zones? Why do we stay inside of our comfort zones? It's the mental version of a cave. If you know, our ancestors were most likely, no one knows for sure, but according to what it looks like, it looks like our ancestors were probably cavemen and cavewomen in some sort of way. And when you look at a cave, a cave is safe. Why did they stay inside of a cave? Because a cave, besides the entrance and exit,

was completely safe. You weren't gonna be attacked by something inside of the cave. So instead of having to watch 360 degrees, you only had to watch the area that you walked in. And that made you a lot safer, right? Made you a whole lot more safer. Well, obviously we don't live in caves anymore.

But if you look at it, our comfort zone is basically the modern day cave. It's safety. It makes us feel like we're safe. We're protected from all areas that we could possibly be. But you have to understand that the comfort zone is where your dreams go to die because your comfort zone is where you currently are. Comfort zone means where you currently are basically, right? So anything outside of your comfort zone is a threat, is possible danger to your brain. And so when you look at it,

you know that by going and starting this business that you want to create, you're not going to die. Nothing's going to kill you by starting this business, but there's still some fear that's inside of you. And so what do we have to do? We have to kind of destroy the little voice. Whenever it pops up, you have to do what it tells you not to do. That's the important thing that I want you to understand. Start doing things completely different. I had a friend that was on this podcast a couple of years ago. You should go back and listen to his episode. His name is Garen Jones. And Garen has this crazy story. I mean, nuts. He was arrested for smuggling drugs in Europe. He was supposed to have like 20 years

in jail or something like that. He got out after like one or two. He was homeless in LA and he realized after a while, like he just didn't want to be the same person that he was. And he realized, well, if I don't want to be the same person I am, then I have to do everything the exact opposite of what I've already done before. And so we just started doing everything different. He started waking up at different times. He started literally, instead of taking elevators, he started taking stairs. He started hanging out with different people to the point where he even started writing with a different hand so that therefore everything was completely reversed because he's going, what I'm doing right now is not giving me the life that I want.

So I have to do the exact opposite of it. And so when that little voice pops inside of your head, it's the exact same thing. You have to do the exact opposite of what that voice tells you to do because that voice is trying to keep you out of your comfort zone. So if it says, hey, don't work out, shit, I've got to do the exact opposite. Time to go for a run. Get your shoes on and do it. If it says, hey, don't worry about it. You're running out of time. Don't make the bed today. Make the fucking bed. If it says, oh, don't put the dishes away because it's been a long day. You should go ahead and sit on the couch and watch some, some deal or no deal. Nope. You got to put the dishes away. If it says, oh, you know what?

You should probably organize all of your leads and not make any calls today. Nope. You got to make the calls. If your, your little voice says, hey, you know what you shouldn't do? You shouldn't, the sun's not up. You don't need to wake up this early. No, you got to wake up before the sun. If you're taking a shower and you enjoy a nice little cold shower and that little voice comes into your head and you're like, you know what? Maybe I, maybe you have the thought in your head of, I should try a cold shower out. And then a little voice comes in.

It's like, no, no, no, don't do a cold shower. And that little voice says you do the exact opposite. You need to do the exact opposite of what that voice tells you to do. Because at this point, we've been listening to that voice for so long. It's just, we listen to it. It pops up, we listen, it pops up, we listen. We're trying to rewire that part of us to go, I'm going to do the exact opposite of what this thing tells me to do. Because that thing's trying to keep me in my comfort zone. So if I do the exact opposite, then everything that I do is going to get me out of my comfort zone. So when you notice that little voice inside of your head, you have to go against it. You can't negotiate with your mind. Do not

let it win. The only way to get rid of it or to make it quieter, I guess you could say, is to do the exact opposite, to defeat it. There is no other option. You can't think your way out of your mind. You can't. You have to just work against it. And so you have to realize there's a book that this reminds me of, Ryan Holiday did years ago. It's called The Obstacle is the Way. The obstacle that is in front of you is literally showing you what you need to do. It's showing you what you need to work on.

You can't listen to it. You can't negotiate with it. You have to go through it. The only way out is through. And so your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die. And you can just stay there forever if you want to. But if you're listening to this podcast episode, you don't want to stay there. You want to be different, but you can't wait until you're, you know, till you're comfortable, until you're ready, until things are perfect, until you take action. You have to kind of jump off the ledge knowing that the parachute's going to be there.

There's never going to be a perfect time. The only time is now. And so you have to seek discomfort in your life. You have to challenge yourself. You have to do cold plunges. You have to, you know, find the little voice inside of your head and do the exact opposite of what it's telling you to do. You have to notice that what you're trying to do is create a different life. And so what you need to do is do something different than you've ever done before. Because you have the ability to change your brain. That's what neuroplasticity is. There's an entire science behind changing your brain. The brain doesn't change by doing the exact same thing. Your brain doesn't change unless you do something different. And that's what I want you to understand

is that if you're going to change your life, no one is coming to save you. You know, I said it earlier. I was like, hey, with all the love in my heart, I can say this. You gotta get your shit together. But you have to realize nothing will change unless you

are the person to change it. And so what it comes down to is when you notice the little voice pop up inside of your head, you have to do something different. When you notice the little voice pop inside of your head, you have to say, oh, okay, that little voice is telling me to do this. I'm going to do the exact opposite because it's just habitual. It's just how our brain's going to be. It's just the way we're kind of wired and we've been programmed and kind of conditioned since we were young is we have this voice, we take it as truth, we believe it, and we do exactly what it says. That has gotten us to where we currently are right now. If we want something to be different in our life, we have to listen to that voice, hear it, not listen to it and do what it says, but hear the little voice and say, 10-4, I'm going to do the exact opposite. And that, if you do it over and over and over and

over and over again, you start to reprogram yourself to do the exact opposite, which means get out of your comfort zone. Then when you get out of your comfort zone, you create a different life. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram stories, tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you're out there and you're ready to make 2024 the best year of your life, you know that nothing will change unless you change. So if you want to challenge yourself, if you want to grow yourself, if you want to change yourself in 2024 and make 2024 the best year of your life, I am running a 30-day challenge. This is my sixth year in a row running a 30-day challenge at the

very beginning of the year. It's built on six pillars to expand yourself every single day. And I'll be doing daily coaching every single weekday throughout the month of January for everybody that's inside of the group. And so if you want to learn more about it, go to levelup30.com. Once again, levelup30. The first 100 people who join get $50 off and get entered into a drawing for a free one-on-one call with me. So once again, if you want to learn more about it, there's an entire video that explains the entire thing. It's levelup30.com. And with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's

day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.