The Mindset Mentor - Creating Habits: All You’ll Ever Need To Know

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

Today, we're going inside the world of habits—how to form good ones and kick the bad ones to the curb. Did you know that nearly half of what we do every day is driven by habits? Crazy, right?Here's what we'll cover:1. The Power of Habits: Discover how about 40-48% of our daily actions are on autopilot, thanks to habits. It’s all about saving brain power, but sometimes it can lock us into unwanted behaviors.2. The Habit Loop: Learn about the three-step process behind every habit: cue, routine, and reward. Understanding this loop is key to making real changes.3. Spotting Cues and Triggers: Get to know the cues that set off your habits. Whether it's an external trigger like your environment or an internal one like your emotions, recognizing these is the first step to change.4. Routine and Reward: Dive into the nitty-gritty of routines and the rewards that keep you coming back for more. It's all about those feel-good moments that make habits stick, thanks to a little thing called dopamine.5. Making Positive Changes: Ready to make some changes? We’ll talk about becoming aware of your habits and setting up new, positive ones. Celebrate your wins and be mindful of those triggers to replace bad habits with awesome ones. Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? Join the waitlist to be the first to learn about it here 👉 http://mindsetwaitlist.com/My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube  Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. I put out episodes four times a week to help you learn and grow and understand who you are because if you can grow yourself, you can make your life better. So if that interests you, go ahead and hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. Today, I am going to give you a full-on masterclass of exactly what habits are, how to create them, and how to break them. Did you know that about half of what you do is a habit? So there's a study that was done at Duke University that found that approximately 40% of our daily actions are driven by habits instead of new decisions there was also another study that

was done at harvard that founded about 48 percent of what it is that we do our habits and when we are just doing this you have to think about it that's nearly half for those two right which means that we are unconsciously doing about 50 percent of what we do throughout the day, we're not even consciously paying attention to. It's just habits of stuff that we've been doing for so long. But when you look at a habit, what is a habit exactly? They are basically automatic routines that control all of our daily actions in some way. And it could be the act of just brushing your teeth, something that you've done thousands of times, or it can be a really complex cognitive process, like how we react to somebody that looks like someone that we used to know, and we react to them based off of past traumas that have happened

to us. And so when you look at it, the first thing I always ask myself is why, right? So I ask myself that about myself all the time. Why am I this way? Why do I do this? Why do I act this way? Why did I do that? But when I look at this and I look at habits, the first question I have for myself is why does our brain make a habit? Like what's the actual point? Because our brain and our body are not going to do something that's not efficient and good for us to do. So when you look at it, critical thinking and actually having to use your brain to think, okay, I'm going to get done here. I'm going to walk down the stairs. Okay, I'm going to take my key out of my pocket.

I'm going to get in my car. I'm going to drive. I'm going to turn left here. And you're actually doing all of the critical thinking. It is one of the most energy consuming things that your body does. Your brain only accounts for about 20% of your or 2% of your body weight, but 20% of your energy is used by your brain a day, which is why you can have a day where you're just sitting around, you're working, and your body rarely even moves. So the physical body doesn't do a whole lot, but you did a whole

lot of mental work, and then you're exhausted at the end of the day, right? And so habits help reduce all of the cognitive load of just the everyday tasks that we have, which then help us focus on other things. And so when you look at it, habits are extremely important to our lives. And a lot of us have built really good habits over our lives.

And all of us have built really bad habits in our lives as well. And it's about the act of taking a step back and saying, okay, is this one that I wanna keep or is this one that I wanna change? And with habits, they help us carry out tasks with not a whole lot of mental effort, which then free up other cognitive resources to do more complex things or to do new things. And so it's good, but it's also bad. It's a double-edged sword. On one hand, it's really important for our mental efficiency, but on the other hand,

it can lock us into patterns and behaviors that can make it really hard for us to change, especially when those habits are unhealthy. And we really want to change them, but it's kind of ingrained into us. We need to kind of rip them up at the roots. And so when you understand the science of habit formation, it isn't just about knowing why we do what we do, but it's also about, it's about that and why we do it, but it's about understanding it and understanding it enough to then make positive change in our lives, to put in the right habits and get rid of the bad habits. So then we start to think about how exactly are habits formed and how can we use habit formation to build lasting habits

and get rid of all the bad habits, right? And so habits are, like I said, they're basically behaviors that we perform with little or no conscious thought. And according to science, they are the product of a three-step process. And it's called a habit loop. And the first guy to find this was a professor named Dr. Charles Duhigg. He wrote a book called The Power of Habits. Even though I love the book Atomic Habits, it's kind of a ripoff from The Power of Habit.

They add an extra step to Charles Duhigg's original one, and then he wrote an entire book around it. Both are great books, but Charles Duhigg is the OG in this. And so basically, this is how it works, okay? There is a cue. And the cue is the trigger in this and so basically this is how it works okay there is a cue and the cue is the trigger that initiates the habit and it can be an external environmental cue but it can also and what i mean like external cue it could mean like the location that you are it could be a notification on your phone it could be someone else walking in those are all external cues but

it could also be an internal cue, like a specific time of day, or when you start to a specific emotional state, when you start to feel, feel a certain way, right? It could be somebody says something to you and it changes the way that you feel. And now that's the internal cue for you. And so when you look at like, for instance, people that are addicted to cigarettes, they're, they're addicted to cigarettes, of course, for the nicotine, but nicotine you only stay addicted to for a hundred hours.

So you're looking at basically four days that you can stay addicted to nicotine and that it's in your system. And so most people are addicted to nicotine, but what they're actually really addicted to more than anything else is the cue of the thing that happens that makes them want a cigarette. And so they could, for instance, wake up and have a cigarette first thing in the morning for the past 10 years while they're reading the paper. And they're so used to that, that as soon as they wake up in the morning, that's the first thing that that's the cue. And then they have to go into the routine. They want

to go into the routine. Most people, this is how it works with coffee, right? We wake up, go to the bathroom, have water, and then immediately want coffee because we've been doing it for 10 or 15 years, maybe longer. And so for me, my cousin has been addicted to cigarettes for a really long time. And it's really hard for him to break the habit of smoking cigarettes because he's worked at the same restaurant as a chef for 10 years. And so he goes on his cigarette break and he goes to the exact same location, which is an outdoor area and a bench that they have out there and smokes a cigarette. And so he's just used to it. So it's, yeah, he does want to have a break and have a cigarette, but to have a break period, but then he goes to the same area and that environmental cue

being at work, being at the exact same location is actually what triggers him wanting to have the next thing. And which is the cigarette. You know, a lot of people will drink and then they have a cigarette with a drink. And that's just, that's the cue example. You know, the example that I said earlier of coffee is probably everyone who drinks coffee can relate to that one. You just feel like you want in the morning. That is the cue. And so with external cues, there's way more external cues than you realize. And you're not even really conscious of. You're being influenced by your environment all of the time. When you sit down on the couch, most people sitting down on the couch, that is a cue to do what? To watch TV. And you're just used to doing it. You just sit down on the couch, you turn on the TV,

you turn off your mind for a little bit. Now, try taking the TV off the wall and putting books on the coffee table and it's gonna feel awkward the first few times you sit down and you don't turn the TV on because you're in that habit loop of the cue is right here and now your environment has changed. Hopefully, we can get that environment changed to change the actual routine. So that can be an external cue. An internal cue can be like

you get stressed and you want a glass of wine or you want a cigarette or you do work. You do something to not feel the stress. And so these internal cues can also influence the next thing, which is the routine. So the first thing is the cue. The next thing is the routine. And this is the behavior itself that we want to change. And so it's whatever it is that you do. It could be the cigarette. It could be the glass of wine.

It could be the coffee, whatever it is for you. It could be, you know, getting anxious. Those are, that's, that's the routine that your body naturally goes into. And so that's the thing that we're trying to change. Or if we want it to be stronger, we, and we want to develop a really good habit, it's the thing that we want to reinforce. It's typically what we think of when we think of habits. And the routine is basically the habit itself. So it's cue, routine, and then the last part of it is the reward. Every single habit that you have has some sort of reward to it, whether you realize it or not.

Every single habit that you have has some sort of reward to it, whether you realize it or not. Every habit does. They might not seem like it's a reward to you or a reward that you want, but it has it. So this is the positive reinforcement that follows the routine. It's the reason why you keep doing the behavior and eventually form a habit out of it. And so the reward satisfies a particular craving and makes our brains associate the routine with something beneficial. So prompting us to repeat the behavior when the cue is encountered. And so that's how the habit loop happens. It's the cue, something internally or externally triggers us to then want to go to the habit, which is the routine. And then we get some sort

of reward for it. Usually it's dopamine, any of that type of stuff. So I'll give you a few examples and show you kind of how this works, right? So a routine, a cue, excuse me, could be getting stressed out. Something happened at work. So the stressed out and you're at home and something happened at work and you're thinking about it while you're at home, that's the cue. There's feeling of stress inside of your body. The routine for a lot of people is eating until they're uncomfortably full or having too much sugar. And so that's the routine. And a lot of people don't realize there's a lot of feelings and emotions that eating can actually give people. When you digest, digestion is the most energy, energy consuming thing that your body

does. It is the most energy consuming thing that your body does. And so your body has to send a ton of energy to digesting that food. That's why a lot of times you get tired after you eat. And if you have a lot of energy going to that food, that's less energy that's going to the brain, which then makes you feel more relaxed. So you're not concentrating on the stress. Same way that, you know, for some people, it might be food. Other people, it might be a couple of

drinks. You know, it could be the exact same thing, right? Q, you get stressed out at work. Routine, you go and have a couple glasses of wine when you get home. The reward is that your brain, when you have a drink, it turns off the prefrontal cortex part of your brain, which is the executive thinking, and other parts of your brain as well, which then just make you more calm. So the same way that drinking can make somebody calm, eating a lot can make somebody calm because it requires so much energy from your body that it actually turns off some of the energy going to your brain. So you can't keep thinking so much about all the stuff that's stressing you out. Okay, so that's an example of, of a cue routine reward. Another thing that people do sometimes is nail biting. And the cue for them is feeling nervous

or bored or anxious about something. And because of that, what they start doing, and they started learning this in childhood as they bite their nails and the act of biting their nails and focusing, because it is such a small and minuscule thing that you have to do. And the act of it is it's a distraction from uncomfortable emotions. And so instead of actually feeling and thinking about your emotions, you can go to biting your nails because of the fact that that's requiring you to, it's distracting you from the uncomfortable emotions. So if you have children that break their nails, it's usually them distracting themselves from uncomfortable emotions or thoughts or feelings. And so those are kind of like bad ones. And we've talked a lot about bad habits, but you can also have good habits as well. You can use the habit

loop for good habits as well. And so let's say that you want to start having a daily exercise habit, right? So what you would do is you would, your cue could be coming home from work and without fail, if you just want to give yourself like 14 days in a row of just trying this and seeing if you can get it to kind of click when you come home, immediately put your workout clothes on and do a 30 minute workout, go for a run, whatever it is. So the cue is coming home from work. The routine is changing into workout clothes, doing a 30-minute workout. The reward is the adrenaline that's going through your body, the endorphins that are going through your body, the feeling of being accomplished, being proud of yourself for showing up.

Instead of beating yourself up and saying, oh my gosh, you didn't work as hard as you could have. It's like, hey, I'm proud of you. And your body starts to release dopamine. And when your body releases dopamine, your body wants more dopamine. So it starts saying, hey, this thing that we just did before is really good for us. So this is something that we continue to keep focusing on. So another thing that could be good for you is healthy eating, right? So you get the cue of feeling hungry around lunchtime. And normally you would run over and go to get fast food or you would get McDonald's or something. And instead of going and taking that route, you decide that you're

going to get a chicken salad. And so you get yourself a chicken salad and you enjoy a tasty meal and you start to feel good about yourself and you tell yourself that you're proud. Now, I wrote about this in my book, Level Up, where the actual celebration of yourself can be rewarding. You don't have to have something, do something. It can literally just be like, I'm closing your eyes and saying, I'm so proud of you for making the right decision. I'm so proud of you for making the right decision.

And that will release dopamine. And this is called the dopamine reward system. That's what I talk about. It's probably my favorite chapter in the book, chapter 12. Dopamine reward system and setting up your life based off of dopamine reward system. That's what I talk about. It's probably my favorite chapter in the book, chapter 12. Dopamine reward system and setting up your life based off of dopamine reward systems. Because when you get dopamine, you want to come back and do it again. So then now you're starting to get more, if the word is correct, addicted to enjoying and making a healthy choice and being proud of yourself for making a healthy choice than

the bad choice of fast food. Let's say that you want to start meditating, right? than the bad choice of fast food. Let's say that you want to start meditating, right? The cue can be whenever you start feeling stressed, whenever you start feeling anxious, instead of eating, instead of drinking, instead of smoking, instead of scrolling on social media, all of those things to distract yourself in some sort of way, you're going to sit with it. The routine is sitting in a quiet place and meditating for 15 minutes and taking deep breaths into the nose and out through the mouth. And the reward is what you feel after. And so you feel really good. You feel calm. You feel centered. You feel more at peace. And in your head, you're going, that was

a really good idea. I want to keep doing that. And so that's the cue, the routine, the word that you can have for meditating. And so this habit loop is deeply, deeply rooted into human neurobiology. And so when we encounter a cue, the interesting part about it, when we encounter the cue, our brain actually releases dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter that triggers our reward system and then drives us to perform the habitual routine to achieve the next reward, whatever that reward is. Plus, when we get that reward, our brain releases more dopamine. And when we get that into our, we're, we're basically dopamine fiends. We all want dopamine.

We all get in different ways, good ways, bad ways, everything. And so when we actually get the cue, our brain releases a little bit of dopamine and dopamine is a chemical of motivation. We want to go and get the next bit of dopamine, which we know if we follow the routine, we're going to get the reward and reward is also going to be part of the dopamine system. And so it's, it's really, really interesting. We start figuring out how the human brain works. And this process is, is, um, facilitated by a part of the brain that's called the basal ganglia, which plays a central role in the formation of habits. And each time we go through the habit loop, the connection in our brain gets stronger, making the habit more ingrained and automatic within us. And so it's known as something

called Hebe's Law, which basically says that neurons that fire together, wire together. The more they fire together, the more we do something over and over and over again. This is why repetition is the mother of all skill. So the more that they fire together, aka sends an electrical signal from one place to another, the stronger the wiring actually becomes. And this is why people who are older seem really set in their ways. It's not that it's impossible to change at any age, because it's not impossible to change. It's just that they're more resistant. And so it's really interesting when you start to dive in and start to think about it. And when you look at this, you go, yeah, it's really not that difficult. If I have some sort of habit that I'm trying to change, what is my cue?

Can I get rid of the cue? If it's in my physical environment, can I get rid of that cue so that I'm not tempted as much? If not, maybe I can change it and start to become aware of what is my cue? What is my routine? What is my reward that I feel whenever I have a bad habit? See if you could change your cue, see if you could change the routine, all of that, become aware, just become more aware of what's going on. And then the second thing that you can do is if you're trying to create new habits, how can you start a cue? How can you make sure that you have the routine and how can you create

a reward system? And like I said, you can actually go back to another episode I made called Dopamine Reward System, where I explain it much more in depth. But it really shows you that if you want to be intelligent and diligent and sit there and actually plan it out, you can change the habits that you don't want anymore. And you can create the habits that are going to be more beneficial for the future that you're trying to create. And so that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr. And also if you love this podcast, I definitely think you're

going to like something that I've been talking about the past few episodes that's coming out called Mindset Mentor Plus. It is a way to take these episodes and fully integrate them into your life. And so, you know, I know that if you're out there, you want to grow and you want to improve yourself. This is my way of trying to help you take these episodes and integrate them into every aspect of your life. Every single episode that comes out on this podcast for people in Mindset Mentor Plus are going to get detailed worksheets, multiple pages, explaining and helping you understand the topics even more. There's going to be journaling prompts so you can actually start to integrate them into your life. There's also going to be

assignments so you can start using them really in your physical environment. So you're not just a listener of the podcast, but a participant. There's going to be exclusive question answer sessions with me. There's going to be access to an entire mindset mentor listener community and many, many other bonuses. And it's going to be less than you spend on coffee a month, most likely. And for some of you guys, it's going to be way less than you spend on coffee every single month. So if you want to learn more about it and you want to sign up for the waitlist because founding members will get a discount, go to mindsetwaitlist.com to learn more. Once again, mindsetwaitlist.com. And I'll send you out the email before we announce it anywhere else,

nowhere on social media, nowhere on podcasts. It'll come out to Mindset Weightless first. So with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.