The Mindset Mentor - Dealing with Your Anxiety

Episode Date: January 11, 2021

The world seems to be getting crazier and crazier. In this episode, I am going to teach you how to deal with the anxiety that comes from this crazy world!Watch my YouTube mindset videos here: https://youtube.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

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do it already. We're putting out three motivational videos every single week. All you have to do is go to YouTube, type in my name, Rob Dial, and it'll just pop up and you can watch those videos as they come up. Today, we're going to be talking about anxiety and we're going to be talking specifically about COVID anxiety. We're going to be talking about something that I should have probably talked about quite a long time ago. But I talked quite a bit about anxiety and all of those things in March and April and as things were going on. And then I had a conversation with a friend about COVID, about all the things that are happening. And I'm not going to give you my world perspective because who needs to hear another opinion in this

world? So I'm not going to give you any opinions on anything. but what I will tell you is how I know how to work through anxiety, how I've helped myself get through anxiety, how I've had my friends help get through anxiety, how I've had clients get through anxiety and stress and depression, all of those. And there's a lot of heavy shit that's happening in the world. We can admit it. And first off, we probably need to admit it. Like this has been, for most people, a heavy year.

It has been a lot of unknown things that we did not see coming up that have come up. Right. And you can feel really heavy. If you're a person that's very kinesthetic, you can feel lost. If you're a person's very head and analytical type of person, you might just be ready for this shit to be over. I'm actually pretty sure that everybody who's listening to this is ready for this shit to be over. But at this point in time, it's not. It just isn't. And so what comes down to is us accepting that. And I'm here to tell you, everybody, it'll be all right. It will eventually work itself out. And the quicker that we just accept that it is the way that it is right now, and that it will eventually be all right, that I think the easier it'll make our lives

until it gets to at least some feeling of normalcy. And I'm gonna try to help you feel better. And I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and we were talking about COVID and the fact that she's going home to her parents for Christmas and she has a lot of anxiety around possibly bringing COVID home to her parents for the holidays, which is the worst

fucking Christmas gift you could give your parents. But she's afraid of giving that to her parents going home for the holidays. Completely understandable. Makes a whole lot of sense. And she was talking about that, but more than anything else, what she was really anxious about is the fact that COVID is still around. The fact that we're still dealing with this thing, what are we, nine months into it? And she was just talking about how she was anxious and stressed because of that. Then the conversation went a little bit further and she was talking about, you know, the other thing that scares me a lot as well as the economy. Like, I don't know what's going to happen with the economy, with all of the inflation

that's going on, with, you know, about 20% of the world's money or the U.S.'s money was just printed this year, you know, and just what's going to happen with the economy. And then she went into rolling into how she's also having these anxious thoughts around getting these test results that she's waiting for her dog. And, you know, the issues that's happening with her dog and the fact that her dog might have cancer. And she's just, at this point in time, it's a waiting game for all of them, right? So it's a waiting game for the test results for the dog. time, it's a waiting game for all of them, right? So it's a waiting game for the test results for the dog. It's a waiting game for seeing eventually if COVID is ever going to pass or what's going to happen with our lives next. And it's a waiting game to see what's going to happen with the

economy. And I let her go through and talk about it and talk about it. And then what happened was I mentioned to her that the things that she's having all of this stress and anxiety around, she has absolutely no control over. And that's what's of this stress and anxiety around, she has absolutely no control over. And that's what's giving her stress and anxiety, right? So she has no control over what's going on in COVID. She has zero control over that. She also has zero control over the economy. And she also has zero control over test results from blood work that was done a few days ago for her dog. Zero control over all three of those things. Now, before I go any further, I want you to think about the things that are making you anxious

and ask yourself this question. Do I have any control over those things? All of the things that are bringing you worry and fear and anxious thoughts, do you have any control over them? Or do you have those anxious thoughts and feelings around them simply because of the fact that you have no control over them and you want to have control, but you don't. So your anxious thoughts could be coming from the fact that you want to have control over something that you absolutely will never have control over. And you haven't just fully accepted that lack of control because of those three things that I mentioned to you about my friend, none of them, literally none of them, she can't control. She cannot do anything

about those. And it's not that those things don't exist. They all exist. It's that she's fighting them in her mind and that is bringing in the anxiety. So what are you fighting? Are you fighting things? And the other thing that she's not doing, she's not accepting. She's not accepting that they exist. They are here. They are the way that they are. She's just not accepting them. She is resisting the way that the world currently is right now.

Right? That's what, at its simplest form, she is resisting the way that the world currently is. She's resisting the COVID. She's resisting the economy. She's resisting the dog's test results. She's just resisting. And this is not uncommon. I was reading an article the other day that says depression has gone up four times, 400% from the exact same time last year. And I think a lot of the reason why is because people are feeling all of these anxious thoughts. And at the same time, they're not

accepting the way that the world is, they're not accepting the way that the world is and they're not allowing themselves to learn and grow and get better in these times and be able to work through it because they just so badly want the world to go back to quote unquote normal, whatever bit of normalcy that they can have again. And if you've listened to my podcast before, you've heard me say this. Your level of stress, anxiety, worry, and fear, and depression, unless you're clinically depressed, there's a completely different, that's a whole other episode that we could do. But your level of worry, anxiety, sadness, fear, all of those things, anxiety, all of that, your level of it will be in direct proportion to how

much you're resisting the way that the world is. So if you're extremely anxious right now, I guarantee you are extremely resisting the way that the world is. You're extremely resisting something that is out there in the world, right? If you're having low levels of anxiety, just a little bit, maybe it's just bubbling under the surface, which I feel is for most people how it usually works. It's not that it's full-blown anxiety attacks. It's just a little bit of anxiety that's bubbling under the surface all day, every day. And the reason why is probably because you have a low level of resisting the way that the world is. You're wishing, all right, well, yeah, you know, it is this way, but shit, I just wish it would go back to normal. I just want to go back

to work. I want to see my friends again. I want to be able to hug my mom. And it's not that it's a full-blown panic attack for you. It might just be that you're just resisting versus full acceptance. You know, there's a shaman that I've worked with in the past and done psychedelics with, and he says, just surrender harder, right? Just surrender harder. That's what we all kind of need to do right now. And actually what we need to do probably for the rest of our lives is just surrender harder. I'm not saying surrender to the powers to be. If you think that the, you know, the economy and the COVID and all that stuff is being put on by some masterminds behind the scenes. I'm not saying surrender those. I'm saying surrender the fact that it is the way that the world is right now. And at this moment, there's nothing that I know of that we can do about it. So do I want COVID to exist anymore? No, hell no.

Of course I don't. But what can I do about it? What can I personally do about COVID? I'm just a college dropout. I don't know shit about COVID. I don't know anything about all that science and stuff. I can barely formulate words sometimes. How am I going to save the world from COVID? I'm not. So do I want it to be here? No, but it is here. And I've got to figure out a way just to accept that. And you can either resist or you can accept. And those are the two things that you can really do. Yeah, it is the way that it is. It's not what I would have chosen, but it is the way that it is. And what you have to realize is that's completely my decision and you can resist or you can accept. And that is completely your decision as well.

It's fully 100% up to you. And what you have to realize is that the more that you're resisting, the more that you're stealing away your joy in the present moment. Your joy is being stolen from you in this present moment because of your resistance. Is there something that's interfering with your happiness or preventing you right now from achieving your goals? See, there's so much happening in the world right now. It's okay to feel just a little bit off. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, I recommend BetterHelp.

BetterHelp will assist your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. It's not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's professional counseling done securely online. And the service is available worldwide. You can log into your account anytime and send a message to your counselor, and you'll get a timely and thoughtful response.

Plus, you can schedule a weekly video or phone session so you don't ever have to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room as you do with traditional therapy. BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed. And it's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available. BetterHelp wants to help you start living a happier life today. So visit betterhelp.com slash dial. That's betterhelp.com slash dial

and join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health with help from an experienced professional. And there's a special offer for Mindset Mentor listeners. You get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash dial. Your joy, your happiness, your peace in this moment is being stolen from you because you won't just fully accept that, hey, the world is the way that it is, right? If somebody breaks up with you, your joy is stolen from you if you're resisting and going, God, I just wish that we would be back together again. And you're thinking about how the past used to be and you're thinking about your love and all of the times that you hung out and

watched Netflix and chilled and had all those great moments. You're like, God, I just want it to be that way again. But it's not. And guess what? The more that you're resisting the fact that it isn't the way that you want it to be, obviously, the more that it's going to be holding you back. The more anxiety and stress and worry and fear you're going to be having around that thing. And you have to realize if your joy is being stolen from you in the present moment, your life is just a collection of present moments. That's all that it is. There is no past and there is no future. Everything that has happened to you and will ever happen to you in your entire life is in the present moment. Nothing has happened

to you in the past. The past is just a present moment that has passed, right? Nothing has happened to you in the future yet, but when that future thing does happen, that will be a present moment. And so if we're really serious about this and trying to make ourselves feel better, we need to be very aware that our entire life is just the present moment. The only thing that does exist and will ever exist for us is the present moment. And if we're resisting COVID, if we're resisting the economy, if we're resisting a breakup, if we're resisting test results, all of those things, we're resisting it and having our joy stolen from us in this moment when we fully can experience the love and the joy and the happiness and the peace that we truly want to, if we were to just step into it and accept,

stop resisting and go, what is great about this moment right now? And just allowing ourself to sink into the present moment more than anything else. And the perfect question to ask yourself, and this is what I asked my friend, I said, okay, now that we've gone through all these things, I got a question for you. The question is, are you okay right now? She's like, what do you mean? I was like, in this moment, in this very second, are you okay? And she's like, well, yeah, I mean, I'm good. You know, I've got this coming up and this.

I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I don't care about bills. I don't care about anything that's happening in the future. I don't care about any of that shit. In this very second, are you safe and are you okay? She's like, yes. And I was like, now just think about that thought. Just marinate on that thought.

How does it make you feel? And she's like, it makes me feel a lot better. And the reason why is because all of the stress and anxiety that we have is all for things that could possibly be happening in the future. And we make up all of these ghosts and demons into the future that could possibly exist. But in reality, it's never about those things. It's always about this present moment right now. So if you feel anxious thoughts, if you feel like there's something wrong, I want you to ask yourself in this moment right now, am I okay? Not, oh my God, I have pills I have to pay tomorrow or later on at five o'clock, I have to make sure I'm at this appointment. No, right now in this fucking

moment, this very second, are you okay? And if the answer is yes, can you sink into that feeling of being okay? Don't sink into the feeling of the anxiety of the possible things that could happen in your future. Can you sink into the feeling of being just fine right now in this present moment feel the feelings of what it feels like to be fine in this moment are you okay you are okay i feel better i feel at least a little bit better and if i can continue to notice when I feel anxious thoughts and start to repattern myself to go, am I okay right now in this moment? Yes, I am. Okay. Am I okay? Right? 99.999% of the time, you're okay right now in this present moment. And there's nothing to be worrying about or anxiety that you should have, but you're bringing it up and forcing it onto yourself, right? So if you

have anxieties of anxiety or stress or fear or worry that you've been feeling, my question to you is this, what are you resisting? If you're anxious, if you're worrying, if you're fearful, if you're feeling those negative emotions come up, what are you resisting? Think about that for a second. What is it? What is it that you're resisting? Is it a breakup? Are you not accepting the breakup? Wanting the world to go back to the way that it used to be? The fact that you're not, person's not in love with you anymore? What is it that you're resisting? And the question is, are you okay right now? Are you okay? And the other thing we have to do is we have to accept that we can control almost nothing. Like we literally can

almost control nothing. Like literally you can barely control your own bowels after Taco Tuesday. Like you can literally control almost, you can't control other people. You can't control your children very well. You can't control the weather. We can barely control our own thoughts. Most of the time we can't. We can control almost nothing. And this is me telling you this as a recovering controlaholic where I realized on one of my, on my very first psychedelic journey that I did, that I was a control freak. I had control issues and that was causing all of my stress and my worry and my anxiety in my life. And the past three years, three and a half years since I've done it have been a complete unraveling of just letting go of all the control and noticing it when it comes up and realizing that the more that I let go of control and the less I try to control

everything, the more amazing my life becomes. And so we can't control our first thought, but you can always control your second thought. And so even if the first thought comes up as an anxious thought, well then notice it, identify it, and then go, is that the thought that I want? No, it's not. Okay, what is a better thought that I want to replace it with? And replace that thought with a new thought. You can't control your second or you can't control your first thought, but you can always control your second thought. And if you change your first thought enough to whatever the second thought is enough over and over and over and over and over again, you eventually repattern your brain and your thoughts and your second thought will eventually start to become your first thought.

If you're naturally a negative person, identify that negativity and replace it with positivity. And if you do this over and over and over and over and over again, all day, every day, hundreds of times every day, depending on how much negativity pops up in a year, two years, three years, five years, you'll notice that your new first thoughts are positive and not negative anymore. We can repattern our brain by noticing it and by taking control of it. You can't control your first thought, but you can always control your second thought. And then what do you do? It's very simple right now. Am I okay? In this moment, this very second, I am okay. Okay, good. Number two, accept. Accept. Stop resisting. The world

is the way that it is. And the more that I resist, the worse I'm going to feel. So if I can just accept, I'm going to feel better. And number three, ask yourself this question. This is something that I had. I was feeling a lot of, it's probably about five years ago, I got off a plane and flew into Austin. And it was like, I came from Florida and Florida was plane and flew into Austin. And, uh, and it was like, I came from Florida and Florida was hot and it was amazing. And I was on the beach and I flew back into Austin and it was like 19 degrees and just like, it wasn't even snowing. It was like that really frozen rain and it was cold and it was hailing and it was just a crap day outside. And I got off the plane and I was like, Oh, gross. This is disgusting. I'm waiting for my Uber to come pick me up.

And it's like, the wind is just like howling. It's like 30 miles an hour. It's cold. I came from amazing, beautiful Florida to cold, rainy, windy, wet Austin. And I started to notice my feelings change towards being in Austin at that moment. I didn't feel good. I was like, damn it. why didn't I just stay? And I started to get really kind of anxious about why don't I just stay in Florida?

I could have stayed in Florida for an extra week, whatever it was. And then I made myself reframe what was going on. And I asked myself this question. This is a question I have for you is what's beautiful about this moment? And I forced myself to answer what was beautiful about this moment. And so I looked around and I started noticing different things that I could feel that were beautiful. Oh my gosh, I have my health. I have, you know, people that love me in my life. I have, you know, a business that I love running. I have things that I love doing. I have, you know, a time tomorrow to go work out with one

of my best friends. And I started noticing what's beautiful about the moment. And by noticing that thing that I felt was beautiful, I was actually starting to unravel all of the feelings of anxiety and stress that I had about coming back in to the way that it is in the cold and the rain and the sleet and snow and all of the crap that we had that day. And so I think I want you to do is number one, ask yourself, am I okay? Number two, accept it. And number three, ask yourself this one question. What is beautiful about this moment? And reframe your thoughts in the current moment, the current present that's being stolen from you and reframe it to finding what's beautiful in your life and what's beautiful in this present moment. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode,

please share with someone that you know and love and go ahead and make sure that you share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in at Rob Dial Jr. R.O.B. D.I.A.L.J.R. We only grow when you guys share it. So I appreciate you for sharing all of these episodes. I deeply, deeply appreciate from the bottom of my heart. And I'm going to leave the same way, leave you every single episode, make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.