The Mindset Mentor - Do NOT Negotiate With Your Mind

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dylann. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. And if you want to receive motivational text messages from me directly to your cell phone. Text me right now if you are in the US and Canada. It is 1-512-580-9305. Once again, 1-512-580-9305. Today, we are going to talk about how to stop negotiating with your mind and simply just get shit done. Because here's the simple way of thinking about it. Either you do things that create the life that you want, or you allow your little inner voice to get in the way of you taking action. There's nothing else in life besides that. That's it. You either take action or you don't. And what holds you back from taking action is

Starting point is 00:00:55 usually that little voice that's inside of your head. And so I'm going to teach you how to smash that little voice that's inside of your head. Why? Because everything that you want in your life is usually on the other side of all of your fears. It's on the other side of that little voice that's inside of your head that tells you that you're not good enough, that you're not smart enough, that what if people judge you? What if people tell you their opinions? What if they reject you? What if somebody says no? Everything that you want is on the other side of that voice that pops up in your head, on the other side of all of the excuses that you keep giving yourself. And if you've been listening to me for long enough, you know what I say. Excuses are like

Starting point is 00:01:33 buttholes. Everybody's got one and all of them stink. So if you want to give yourself an excuse, give yourself an excuse. Cool. But you've got to understand that if you give yourself excuses to not take action, you are going to have to live with those consequences later on in life. If you give yourself excuses why you shouldn't go to the gym, well, 5, 10, 15, 20 years from now, you're going to have to live with the consequences of not going to the gym and taking care of your body. If you decide to not eat healthy for the next 10 years of your life and give yourself excuses as to why you're not eating healthy, you're going to have to live with those consequences later on in life. It's that

Starting point is 00:02:09 simple. There's no other way to look at it. It's either black or it's white. There is no gray that's in between. You either get what you want in life or you don't get what you want in life. And life can be easy now and hard later, which is what I just explained, or it can be hard now and easy later. It all depends on if you're willing to put in the work and have delayed gratification versus instant gratification. What do I mean between the two of those? Delayed gratification would be, I'm going to work out five times a week, knowing that your body might not change much over the next two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, month, two months, three months. And it might not be until 18 months from now until I

Starting point is 00:02:46 have the body that I want. It's hard now, but it becomes easier later. Why does it become easier later? Well, because now my body's working at optimal performance. I don't have to worry about having to take a whole bunch of pills or drugs when I get older or possibly be in bed written or having knee problems or any of that stuff. So it's harder now to put in the work, but it makes life easier later on down the road. What's the flip side of that? Well, the flip side of that is, you know what? I'm going to eat whatever it is that I want simply because it tastes good. I'm not going to work out. And in 5, 10, 20 years, I might have heart issues. I might have knee issues. I might have back pain. I might be bedridden. I don't know. I might die earlier simply because I didn't

Starting point is 00:03:22 take care of myself. That means that it's easy now, but it's hard later. So either you go for instant gratification, which is the simple mouth pleasure of things taste good, so I'm going to eat them anyways and not care about what it does to my body. That's instant gratification or delayed gratification. I'm not going to eat all of the crap that I really want to, even though it tastes good, but I'm going to show up to the gym. And so everything that you want is on the other side of that little voice inside of your head that's telling you not to do things. And Will Smith said it perfectly. He said, God put all of the amazing things in life on the other side of fear. Everything that's amazing is on the other side of the fear.

Starting point is 00:03:57 The only thing in your life that you should fear is fear. You should fear fear. You shouldn't fear anything else because fear is holding you back from everything amazing. Do you want to know why? The reason why is because fear is literally the boundaries of your comfort zone. And if you're listening to this podcast, you're listening to it because you are trying to get out of your comfort zone in some sort of way, right? You are. You're trying to get out of your comfort zone in some sort of way. So that shows us that you're in a comfort zone. And when you get to the edge of that comfort zone, it is only natural for your brain and your body to create fear to try to paralyze you so that you don't take action to break through your comfort zone. It's just a safety mechanism

Starting point is 00:04:38 that is built into humans. So when you feel fear, that should actually be a reason to not back off. It's a physical manifestation in your body of, oh, I'm at the edge of my comfort zone. I need to push forward just a little bit more. Why? Because I'm not trying to stay in my comfort zone. I don't, the life I have is inside of the comfort zone. The life I want is outside of the comfort zone.

Starting point is 00:05:00 Everything that you want, God put everything that, all the amazing things in life on the other side of fear. Don't fear anything else but fear. Fear, fear, because living life as a captive to your fear in that prison is not a life that's fully lived. You're going to get to the end of your life and realize that you wish you would have done more. And that, I don't know about you, scares the shit out of me. That's what I'm afraid of, is not living up to my full potential. I'm afraid of getting to my life and wishing that I would have done more in some sort of way.

Starting point is 00:05:29 So we all have that little voice inside of us. It doesn't go away, ever. I'm here to tell you. I've been working on trying to get it to go away for 15 years. It's still there. I've just learned to stop listening to it. You've got to learn to dance with the fear. The fear is going to be here, but I got to figure out instead of trying to push it away, I've got to learn to dance with the fear. The fear is going to be here, but I got to figure out instead of trying to push it away, I've got to figure out how to tango with it. But it's the little voice that's holding you back that's saying that you're not smart enough, that you're not good enough, that you're not pretty enough, that you're not fit enough, that you're not worthy. Go back to bed and don't wake up right now. Don't work out. Sleep in. Scroll on Instagram for another hour.

Starting point is 00:06:02 Stay on the couch. Eat that food just because it tastes good, who cares about what the consequences are? It's that voice that's inside of your head. And that's the one that we're trying to smash because everything that you want is on the other side of that voice. So when you notice the voice, you have to do what it tells you, the exact opposite of what it tells you to do. You must go against the voice. That is this simple. When you feel the little fear, the little voice, I like to call it is this simple. When you feel the little fear, the little voice, I like to call it the inner bitch. When you feel the inner bitch pop up inside of your head, that is an example of, okay, this is what it's telling me to do. I'm going to do the exact

Starting point is 00:06:36 opposite. That's it. It's telling me to do this. It's telling me to do X. I'm going to do Y. I'm not going to listen to it because you can listen to the voice if you'd like to, but you don't negotiate with your mind if you want to create the life that you want. Do not let the voice inside of your head win. You have to figure out a way to get rid of it and to defeat it. There is no other option. You got to stop listening to it. And here's the thing. And at this point in time, maybe you live in fear a lot. Like maybe you live in fear and there's so much fear in your life. And it might be, if you were to say on a scale of one to 10, the fear might be like so loud. The little voice inside of your head is so loud. The goal, once again, it's not going to, you're never going to completely get rid of it, but it's, you're just trying to turn it down a

Starting point is 00:07:16 little bit. Like, can you find the knob, the fear knob, the little, little bitch knob, and just turn down the little bitch knob, just a teeny tiny bit. Just a little teeny tiny bit. The difference between someone who's got the life that they have and someone who doesn't have the life they have, the difference between them, well, number one, they both have that voice inside of their head. The difference is who listens to it and who doesn't. The people who don't have the life that they want usually don't have the life that they want simply because they keep listening to that voice. The person who does have the life that they want, or they're at least on the path, and they're getting closer to having the life they want, they still have that voice inside

Starting point is 00:07:51 of their head. They have just simply trained themselves to stop listening to that old voice. Just the way that it goes. Hey, has this ever happened to you? You need a doctor, you search online, try to find one that looks good, and then you wait on hold for an appointment, you rearrange your schedule, and when you finally go in, you find out the doctors as you take your insurance. I know, it sucks, but there's a solution. Just download the free ZocDoc app. It's the easiest way to find a great doctor and instantly book an appointment. And with ZocDoc, you can search for local doctors who take your insurance, read verified patient reviews, and book an appointment. And in-person and video chats are available. Never wait on hold with a receptionist again. Whether you need a

Starting point is 00:08:29 primary physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or other specialist, ZocDoc has you covered. So go to ZocDoc.com slash dial and download the free ZocDoc app to sign up for free. Every month, millions of people use ZocDoc because ZocDoc makes healthcare easy. So now is the time to prioritize your health. Once again, go to ZocDoc.com slash dial or download the free app to sign in for free and book a top rated doctor. Many are available as soon as today. That is Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash dial. Hey, if you're carrying a credit balance month after month, it can feel like it's a never ending cycle of debt. And Upstart can help you make your final payment so you can get ahead in life. Upstart is a fast and easy way to pay off all of your debt with a personal loan all online. Whether it's paying your credit card debts, consolidating high interest debt, or funding personal expenses,

Starting point is 00:09:17 over half a million people have used Upstart to get one fixed monthly payment. Upstart knows you're more than just your credit score and is expanding access to affordable credit. Unlike other lenders, Upstart considers your income and your current employment to find out a smart rate for your loan. With a five-minute online rate check, you can see your rate upfront with loans anywhere between $1,000 to $50,000. You receive funds as fast as one business day after accepting your loan. So find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to upstart.com slash dial. That's upstart.com slash dial. Don't forget to use that URL to know that we sent you there. Loan amounts will be determined based off your credit income and certain other information that is on your loan application. So go to upstart.com slash dial. You can't outthink your mind. That's the funny thing about it. One of the things,

Starting point is 00:10:08 I had somebody one time, they were talking about their insecurities and limiting beliefs to me one time. And he said, you know what? I just think I need to think about my limiting beliefs for a little while. I'm like, that's the worst idea ever. Because thinking about your limiting beliefs is not going to make your limiting beliefs better. Do you want to know what makes your limiting beliefs better? Taking action against those limiting beliefs. So if your limiting beliefs are, I don't think that I'm worthy in some sort of way, well, maybe what I'm going to do is I'm going to force myself to take action to start being more worthy. I'm going to start forcing myself to go to the gym. I'm going to start forcing myself to start eating healthier

Starting point is 00:10:42 and to start building the body and the mind that I want to in order to prove to myself that I am worthy of happiness, of love, and success. I'm going to prove to myself that if I set my mind to something, I can accomplish it. And then slowly but surely, the actions that I have been taking turn my limiting beliefs down. You can't think your way out of limiting beliefs. You've got to take action out of your limiting beliefs. And when the little voice pops up inside of your head, the fears, the insecurities, you've got to take action against them, not be paralyzed by them. If you're paralyzed by them, they win. But you've got to take action against them,

Starting point is 00:11:22 knowing that that's what you're going to have to do in order to create the life that they want. There's a great book called The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday. The obstacle that's in front of you, that your mind and your body present to you or the universe presents to you is the way to get to where you want to go. You've got to go through that thing. The universe will present people, places, and things in front of you to show you where you're not free and where you're triggered. And so it's not, oh, I'm going to succeed in spite of my mom or my dad or my family. It's I'm going to succeed by working through that. So instead of just throwing them off to the side and going, well, I'm going to succeed. Screw them. I don't have to worry about them. Your way to success,

Starting point is 00:12:09 your biggest opportunity for growth is actually through that relationship. Working on that relationship is your next level of growth. The obstacle is the way. It is literally showing you what you need to work on. Most people try to avoid the obstacles. They try to avoid the triggers, but that is literally showing you what you need to work on. You can't not listen to it. You got to listen to it. If you continue to avoid it and avoid it and avoid it, it's just going to get worse and worse and worse. So when the voice pops up in your head, don't negotiate with it. You have to go through that little voice. It's going to tell you you're not good enough. It's going to tell you you're not smart enough. It's going to tell you that you're not pretty. It's going to tell you that you're

Starting point is 00:12:49 not worthy of love. It's going to tell you that you're not worthy of making $200,000 a year. It's going to tell you that you're not worthy of having a beautiful family. It's going to tell you that you're not worthy of a family that doesn't have struggles like it did when you were growing up. It's going to tell you all of those things, but you have to go through that because that is your biggest area of growth. Your comfort zone is what that thing is trying to keep you in. And your comfort zone is where all of your dreams go to die. All of your dreams go to die in your comfort zone, simply because all of your dreams are outside of your comfort zone. So you've got to push past it. You can't wait until you past it. You can't wait

Starting point is 00:13:25 until you're comfortable. You can't wait until you're ready. What you have to do is you have to jump off the ledge just knowing that the parachute's going to pop up. You don't know if you have a parachute on, but you just got to know that the parachute will be there. You can't wait till you're ready. The time will never be perfect. The only time is now. It's so funny. So many people send me messages and they're like, you know, I really want to create the life that I you're ready. The time will never be perfect. The only time is now. It's so funny. So many people send me messages and they're like, you know, I really want to create the life that I want to, but I'm so busy right now. So I think I think I'm probably going to start my business in two months. I'm going to start my my business that I want to succeed in in two months. And then you

Starting point is 00:13:58 follow up with them in another two months and like, oh, my God, I got so busy again. And you follow up another two months like, oh, my God, I got so busy again. And you follow up another two months like, oh my God, I got so busy again. Do you want to know why it seems like there's less to do in two months? Because it's two months away. That's why. If you look at my schedule this week, it's a whole hell of a lot busier than it is two months from now. But guess what? Two months from now, my schedule is going to look very similar to what it does this week. You always feel busier in the present moment than you do in the future. So if you pass off your dreams to the future, your future is going to look exactly the same as your current reality.

Starting point is 00:14:28 You're still gonna be busy in the future. And so why do I say this? Because the only time to take action is now. Stop acting like you're gonna do it tomorrow. Stop acting like you're gonna do it next week. Stop acting like you're gonna do it next month. Your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die. Your brain is literally putting these things in front of you

Starting point is 00:14:43 to make you think that you're busy, to make you think that you don't have enough time, to make you think that now's not the right time to take action, make you think that you're not good enough. Your subconscious is literally putting roadblocks in front of you. And if you listen to those roadblocks, your life is going to be exactly the same 10 years from today as it is right now. I've got a question for you. I want you to really think about this. How long have you been stuck in your current comfort zone? I ask this when I give speeches sometimes and I say, hey, how long have you been stuck in your current comfort zone? Raise your hand if you want to tell me. It's always like a year, five years, 10 years, 20 years, 17 years, 54 years. I'm like, you know you're in it. How much longer are you going to stay there?

Starting point is 00:15:23 Are you just going to stay in your comfort zone forever? You know you're in a comfort zone. So either you stay there, and if you do stay there, your life is going to be exactly the same a year from now, 10 years from now as it is right now. You're just going to look older. So why don't you just take action now instead? What you have to do is you have to look for your discomfort. As a lot of people say, you need to seek discomfort. Why? Because when you're seeking things that you're not comfortable with, you're constantly pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone. Your goal is to expand your comfort zone as much as possible. And the beautiful thing about this is that until the day you die, your brain is constantly changing. They used to think that you were born with a certain amount of neurons and a certain

Starting point is 00:16:03 amount of connections in your brain. Your brain was that way and it was just going to be that way and it was going to slowly get worse and worse throughout your life. But there's proof now to show that your brain goes through neuroplasticity, which is the constant art of changing all of the time, if you're pushing the boundaries and doing something different. If you're doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over again, your brain's not going to change because there's no reason to change. But if you're constantly doing something different, constantly seeking discovery, constantly doing something that you've never done and then

Starting point is 00:16:28 pushing the boundaries, your brain is constantly going to be changing. Your brain doesn't change when it does the same thing over and over again. Your brain only changes when it does something different. That's what I want you to realize. Your brain creates thoughts. Your thoughts create feelings. Your feelings create action or lack of action, and your action creates results, and your results create your life. You either create the exact same life that you've always had, or by pushing your edge of your comfort zone, your life literally starts to change because you're doing things that you've never done before. As Einstein says, to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results is insanity. Stop doing the same things. You've got to stop negotiating with your mind.

Starting point is 00:17:10 You've got to dominate the little voice inside of you. You've got to realize your fears aren't going to go away. Your insecurities aren't going to go away. What you have to do is take action against them and do the exact opposite of what they tell you to do. And then your life will be different. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please tag me in it on Instagram, put in your stories, Rob Dial Jr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you're out there and you want to receive an email from me on Mindset every single Monday with my intentions going into every single week, I'm going to start sending out emails every single Monday with my intentions going into every single week so that you can see what my intentions are,

Starting point is 00:17:48 what I'm working on, what I have been working on so that you can start to learn the process of life that I'm on and see if it possibly helps you as well. So if you want to sign up for those, they're absolutely free. Go to mondayemail.com. Once again, mondayemail.com, sign up for free, and I will email you my intentions on my mindset every single Monday. So that's all I got for you for today's episode. And I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode, making sure mission makes someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Do NOT Negotiate With Your Mind

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