The Mindset Mentor - Do You Expect Bad Things to Happen?

Episode Date: October 26, 2020

When things are going well, do you have a feeling in the back of your head that something bad eventually has to happen? In this episode, I am going to talk about the feeling of "waiting for the other shoe to drop" and how to get past those anxious thoughts so that you can fully experience joy in your life.Follow me on Instagram here --> https://instagram.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Children's National Hospital in Washington, D.C. improves children's health by developing better treatments and technologies. Ranked number five in the nation, we take on the most complex, rare, and life-threatening conditions because all children deserve a healthy future. Learn more at childrensnational.org slash innovation. Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button since you never miss another episode. And if you're looking for more inspiration and you happen to have an Instagram account, follow me on Instagram, Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R for more Instagram in your newsfeed. Today, I'm going to ask you a question to start off. And that question is this, do you secretly expect bad things to happen to you?

When things are going really well, is there a part of you that feels like, I better not hold on to this feeling too long or get too into this feeling of joy or happiness because I'm afraid that something is going to happen that's going to be bad right around the corner. And if I allow myself to feel that feeling of joy and happiness and I do get hit with something bad, then it's going to be even a further fall. Do you feel that way? The reason why I'm bringing this up is because two different events that I had run this week, people mentioned it. I had a master week, people mentioned it. I had a mastermind event where over the course of three days, we ran an event and people

were talking about how no matter how well things are going for them, they still feel like at some point in time, something wrong is going to happen and they can't fully be present. They can't fully be in the moment. And then another person in another course that I'm running about rewiring your brain said that she feels like she takes three steps forward and then one step back. And she wants to know how to avoid the one step back. And I remember kind of hearing a story about this where people who have children said that one of the scariest things in the world to them is to watch them sleep because they can look at how

peaceful and amazing they are and they can love them. But then on the other side, there's this piece of them that's like, but what if something happens? What if I get too in love with this child? I love them with everything that I have more than I thought was even possible. But then I lose them. And I want you to think about this. If you're out there, have you ever felt that way with your children, with your spouse, with your boyfriend, girlfriend, parents? Have you ever felt like I can't fully allow myself to be in this moment

or in this joy or in this happiness or in this love because there is a chance that one day it's going to be gone? For some reason, a lot of people are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. They're just waiting for something bad to happen. And because of that, they're not fully expressed in the amount of joy that they possibly could have. And you can't be fully present in any moment. If there's a part of you that's outside of that moment saying, yeah, but what if this isn't forever? And imagine that. Imagine if you can't fully get to the amount of joy that you could possibly have every single day. And this doesn't happen with just certain amounts of people or certain types of people. This happens to people who are successful,

unsuccessful, happy, unhappy, and people act as if it's the law of the universe. Like things have been going so well for me for so long, something bad has to happen. Who the hell says something bad ever has to happen? Think about that for a second. You know, I have a friend of mine that's a great family friend and he comes from a great family. He's got, you know, he's the first of six. He's got five kids that are under him. Everything's been great, had an amazing life, but he says that there's, he doesn't feel like he can fully love his life because he's afraid that something bad's going to happen because he's had such a good life and he knows that so many other people haven't had great lives

that if they haven't had great lives and he's had such a great life, then it's going to be coming for him at some point in time. And if you're in that situation, who told you that something bad always has to happen? Why do people feel this way? Where does this come from? Really what it comes from is from a mindset of scarcity, of there is a not enough happiness. There's not enough joy. There's not enough love in this world for me to just fully experience it forever until the day I die.

There's not enough good to go around. And eventually my luck is going to run out. But why does it have to run out? Why does it have to go bad? Whoever said something had to go wrong? Do you know what that is? That's something that's programmed into you. You have learned that. There's no child that I've ever met that's like, something's got to go wrong. Children don't worry about that.

What are they? They're fully in this moment. And if children don't worry about it, and we worry about it as adults, doesn't that mean that it's been programmed into us in some sort of way where we take a few steps forward and we're like, oh my gosh, I took, I just took three steps forward. Something bad has to happen. I know something bad has to happen. There has to be a step back. And if there is a quote unquote step back, who said that it was a step back? Your perception. You are the one that says that it's a step back. Because think about it this way. It's all in your perception of if

three things happen that were really good and one thing happened that was quote unquote bad. What if instead of it being a step back, it was just a redirection to get you onto the right path? What if it was that? You know, if you think about, okay, I'm trying to propel my life forward and to create something amazing in my life. And I'm going one step, two step, three steps. And then I get pulled back. I feel like I'm getting pulled back. Like something's not working in the right direction. And once you think of a bow and arrow, if I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to try to hit a target with a bow and arrow, in order for that arrow to go forward, what does it have to do first? It has to get pulled back. I have to pull that thing back. And that's the only way that I can get that arrow to go

forward, isn't it? It is. That is something that is the law of the universe, is that it has to be pulled back in order to go forward. Here's the interesting thing though. The further, the harder that I pull it back, when I let go, what's going to happen? The further that it's going to go forward. So maybe when something quote unquote bad happens to you, quote unquote, a step back happens to you, that's a bigger step back than normal. Maybe that's the universe or God or whatever it is that's out there that's preparing to propel you even further because you needed to go through that growth. Maybe that growth of the quote unquote step back

and what you're going to learn from it is actually what's going to be the thing that propels you even further forward. But if you think of it as a step back and only a step back and not a chance to learn and grow and have something change inside of you, well, then it's just a step back and there are no steps forward. It's like basically pulling the arrow back and then shooting it at the ground. But think about that. Maybe what's happening in this quote unquote step back is that you're needing it to pull back as far as you possibly can so that when you do let go, the universe, God lets go, whatever it is, that thing propels forward further than you could have possibly imagined. So maybe it was never actually a step back. Maybe that's just a way to be prepared for the next venture that you're stepping into. And the other thing you have to

realize is this, is you get what you focus on the most. And one of the problems that I think most people have is that they focus on what they don't want or what they fear more than they focus on what they truly do want. And so I want you to think about this as I'm speaking about this. Do you focus more on what you do want or focus more on what you don't want? Do you focus more on things that are going to propel you forward or things that you're fearing are going to hold you back? Do you focus more on what you don't want? Do you focus more on things that are going to propel you forward or things that you're fearing are going to hold you back? Do you focus more on worry or do you focus more on happiness and joy? Because whatever you focus on, you're going to get more of. You're going to notice more of. Hey everybody, real quick, let me tell you about one of my favorite

apps that's on my phone. I've had it for four years now. I recommend it all of the time. It's called Blinkist. And what Blinkist does is they take nonfiction books and they take them and shorten them into 15 minute audios that you can listen to or that you can read. And it cuts out all of the fluff. One of the ones that I definitely recommend that you listen to is the four hour workbook by Tim Ferriss. And another one that's really good right now is how to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. In Blinkist, you get unlimited access to read or to listen to a massive library of condensed nonfiction books and all of the books that you want for just one low price. And right now for a limited time, Blinkist has a special offer for our audience, where if you go to Blinkist.com slash mindset,

you can try it for free for seven days and get 25% off the entire subscription price. So that's Blinkist.com, B-L-I-N-K-I-S-T.com slash mindset. So start your free seven day trial. Once again, you get 25% off, but just go to Blinkist.com slash mindset. And if you listen to this podcast for a while, the easiest way to explain it is this. If over to the left, I have, you know, one bed of flowers, it's just seeds. And over to the right, I have another bed of flowers, it's just seeds. And I have one glass of water, whichever one I decide to water, whether it's the one on the left or the one on the right,

is going to grow from that water, right? So if I'm like, okay, I'm going to go ahead and water the ones on the right every single day. And I'm not going to water the ones on the left, which ones are going to grow? The ones on the right. So if you think of your energy and your focus, the same as that water where I have over to the left, my negativity, my worries, my fears, the things that I really don't want to happen in my life. And over to the right, I have my hopes, my dreams, my desires, my joy, my happiness, everything that I want to happen. And I have my energy in a cup and I can pour it into one of these two flower beds. Which one am I wanting to pour it in? Well, obviously, I want to pour it into one

on the right with my hopes, dreams, desires, everything that I truly want. But is that what I'm doing every single day? Is that what you're doing every single day? Because whichever one you water is the one that's going to grow. So which one are you watering every single day? Think about that for a second. Where does your focus go on a daily basis? Does it go into your hopes, dreams, desires, what you need to accomplish your dreams? Or does it go into your worries, your fears, your anxieties, the things that stress you out? Because whatever you pour your focus into is what's going to grow. And that's what you're going to get. It's the same way that, you know, when you're learning to ride a motorcycle and you're going into the turn, they

tell you to look through the turn. What does that mean? Don't look, you know, where it is that you're turning from. What do you do? You look at where you're going because wherever you look is where you're going to turn into. And so if you're turning this corner and you're looking at all of the shit that you don't want in your life, you're going to get all of the shit that you don't want in your life. That's the way it works. But if you turn into this corner and you look at all the things, your hopes, your dreams, desires, and you set your intentions every single day for the things that you truly want, guess what you're more likely to get? It's simple. It's not easy. It's simple. One of my favorite things that I see is I post a lot of quotes on Instagram and

Facebook. One of my favorite things to see is people say, you know, it'll be a quote about something. People say, oh, easier said than done. And I always respond to them. No shit. Everything's easier said than done. Because in order to say something, all I've got to do is move my lips. In order to do something, I've got to actually get up and put in the work. So with that being said, you now at least have the awareness, which is the first step. You have the awareness of, okay, first off, what am I thinking about? What am I focusing on? And am I always feeling like something bad could possibly happen? Am I thinking that we've all heard it before? Bad things happen in threes. Who said that bad things happen in threes? Where bad thing number one happens,

bad thing number two happens, and you're like, oh my God, I shouldn't even leave the house because bad thing number three is coming at some point in time. No, who said that? But if I'm thinking that it's going to happen and I'm putting my focus into something that could possibly happen that could be bad,

aren't I basically attracting that third bad thing into my life? What if when the first quote unquote bad thing happens, I go, you know what? That was the only thing that's going to happen. There will be no more. Well, maybe I'm not going to attract any more bad things. Maybe what I should also do is flip my perception of what is good and what is bad because inherently nothing is good or bad. It is actually the label that you put on it, right? So if something quote unquote bad happens in my life, I could look at that as something that could hold me back for the rest of my life.

Or I could look at that as something that's the universe or God teaching me some sort of lesson that I needed in order to grow. What is it? It's the universe just pulling my arrow back so it can let me go and fling me forward. All it really is is just a mindset shift. What if, just think about this and let it sink for a second. What if everything went amazing every single day until the day you die? Think about that for a second. What if everything went amazing every day until the day that you die? Now, I already know some people listening to me right now are getting those feelings like the tightening in your stomach of like, that's impossible. I've seen too much bad happen in my life. I know that I'm due at some point in time. I know that there's

people out there feeling this way. And my question to you is who told you that? Is that the truth? Or is that just something that you've been told? Something you've been programmed into? Are bad times going to happen? Maybe. But whatever is good and bad is the label that you put onto it. So you have to realize that. There's no reason why the shoe has to drop, the other shoe has to drop, that something bad has to happen. There's no reason why when you're in a beautiful moment with your children and you're trying to be present, that you immediately go to something bad could happen. There's no reason why that needs to exist in your mind. Here's the thing though. We are allowing it to exist. Why? Because the perception of this now exists in your awareness.

Like, you know what I'm talking about. You're sitting out there going, yeah, this does happen to me. Well, now that you know it exists, next time it pops up, you've got to have the awareness to take yourself out of the jar, read the label, take yourself out of your mind and look at the actual life circumstances that are going on and go, okay, this thing that I am now perceiving as bad, is it really that bad? Or is this just something that I can learn and grow from? This thing that I'm perceiving is bad. Is there some sort of lesson that I can extract from it so that I can grow from it and the universe can pull back my bow and arrow and then fling me forward? Ultimately, as I said, it's just a scarcity mindset. There is no reason why you have to have a scarcity mindset. There is no scarcity

in this world. It is all abundance. There is no reason why if you make a bunch of money that there has to be some sort of bill that comes up. There's people out there that I know feel this way. There is no reason why if you have a beautiful family and things are going great, that something bad has to happen. There is no reason why if you have an amazing job and you love it, that you are going to get fired someday. There is no reason. There is no reason. There is no reason I could give example, example, example, example. Ultimately, it comes down to what you choose to focus on. What you choose to focus on is going to dictate your life. You've heard me say it over and over again. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. One of my favorite quotes from Wayne Dyer,

when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. So you can look at this quote unquote bad event and change the way you look at it. That event starts to change and you can go, oh my God, I can see why this was placed in front of me because I needed to grow from it or because I needed a redirection. So it's not a step back. Maybe it's a step to the side so that I can go a different direction. Because ultimately you're the one that's in control of your perception of every single thing that happens to you.

If you want to think of it as bad, go for it. That is absolutely 100% your prerogative, which is a beautiful thing. But if you're out there and you're like, I want a happy life. I want a positive life. I want to experience more joy, more love, more happiness. Listen to this episode again and realize that you're the one, you're the captain of your ship. You're the one that's in control of the way that you think, feel, and act every single day. And if you change your perception of the way

that everything happens to you, you realize there are no step backs. There's just steps forward and maybe every once in a while, step to a side to get you to go into a different direction. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love, and please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.