The Mindset Mentor - Don't Be Motivated

Episode Date: January 6, 2023

Don't Be Motivated | The Mindset Mentor Podcast Be sure to subscribe to my Youtube channel for more - https://youtube.com/robdialjr?sub_con​... Want more inspiration content to keep you going in the right direction? Follow me around the web. Instagram: @robdialjr Facebook: Rob Dial Tiktok: bit.ly/3ifKBxC -- Thank you to our sponsors: ExpressVPN: Secure your online activity today at ExpressVPN.com/dial and get an extra three months of ExpressVPN FREE! Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. If you're out there and you love this podcast, please give us a rating and review, however you listen to us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, wherever it might be. The more positive reviews that we get, the more that we can go and impact more people because those platforms show this to more people. So if you do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Today, I'm going to be talking about motivation. I'm going to be telling you why you don't want to be motivated. There's too many people that message me and say, hey, Rob, how do I become more motivated? What do I do to get more motivation? I am actually on the side

of, I don't actually care if you're motivated or not. It doesn't matter to me at all because everyone thinks that you want to be motivated. Oh, I want, I want to be motivated. I want to listen to a motivational speaker and all of that is okay, but it's actually not what's going to help you be successful. You don't want to be motivated. If you're thinking that you need to be motivated before you go out and actually take some action, you will not get what you want to in this world. Let me say that again. If you think that you want to be motivated before you actually go and take action, you will not get what you want to in this world. If you're searching for motivation, you will be searching for a very long time. But you're not really searching for

motivation. You're searching for something else. And that's what I want to dive into and talk to you with today. What you really want and what you want to build into yourself is not to be a motivated person. What you want to build into yourself is to be a consistent person. Consistency always wins. I'm not a betting man. I don't really care to bet. I don't like gambling, any of that. But if I had money that I had to bet and it's like, hey, here's a consistent person on one side and there's a motivated person on the other side, which one do you want to place your money on, which will be the most successful and get what they want to out of life? Which one do you think it's going to be? I will always take my money and put it on the person who has decided that they are going to

be the most consistent. And consistency is a decision because motivation is fleeting. Motivation is a fleeting feeling. It is a feeling inside of you. I don't know about you. I don't really wake up motivated. Like some people wake up and they're like, hey, I got it. I'm going to go conquer today. I've never really been that person. I've never really been a person just, I mean, it takes effort to get out of bed for me. I'm not a person who just jumps out of bed and I'm super excited. But consistency on the other side, consistency is a character trait. It is a character trait that can be, it doesn't really come wired into you. It's not like it's, you know, somebody's pre-wired to be consistent. Consistency is a part of someone

that they decide to develop. So I expect most days that I'm not going to be motivated. So if you go into every day wanting to be motivated and waiting for motivation in order to take the action that you want, you're going to be waiting for a very long time. But if you go into every single day saying, I don't care what happens, I'm going to be consistent and I'm going to get it done, you're going to get what you want. So just expect that most days you're not really going to be the most motivated person. You may be, if you are, hey, that would be awesome if you wake up and you happen to be motivated today. But if you wake up today and you're not motivated, I want you to focus on being consistent. When you're consistent day in, day out, day in, day out, you will win in whatever it is you're trying to get for in life.

When you hope for motivation though, you lose. When you focus on consistency, you will win. When you hope for motivation, you'll lose. You know, if I am on a weight loss journey, and I know, like I use weight loss and I use fitness as an example. And the reason why I use these things as an example so often is because of the fact that that's something physical that you can see.

Like when I talk about making mindset changes, that's not something that you can physically see in someone's body. But if someone decides they want to go on a weight loss journey and over time they are consistent, you will start to see changes in that person's body. It's physical. You can see it when you look in the mirror. If you decide that you are a skinny person, you want to build more muscle. If you go and you be consistent for a while, 60 days from today, you will see a difference when you look in the mirror. And so if I'm on a weight loss journey, I can work out when I'm motivated and I can go, you know what? I'll just, I wanted to work out today, but let's just wait

and see if some motivation just decides to come on in. I don't want to do that. I want to be consistent because consistency says I will work out no matter what. I will do this because I said I was going to. Consistency is I said I was committed to working out today and I'm not going to go to bed until it is done. Not, oh, oops, oops, I just ran out of time. Maybe tomorrow I'll get my workout in. I forgot to plan it into my schedule. Maybe tomorrow I can get it done. Maybe tomorrow I'll have some motivation to go to the gym. Maybe tomorrow I'll have some motivation to do what I said I was going to do. Consistently said, I'm going to do it and I'm going to do it. I'm committed to getting it done. Consistency says,

I'm committed and I'm going to get it done today. Consistency says I'm committed to making a hundred calls today. Consistency says I am committed to posting a post on my Instagram to get leads for my business. Consistency says I am committed to shooting and editing a YouTube video and posting it today. Consistency is I said I was going to do it and no matter what happens, my ass is getting it done today. And I will not go to bed. I will not go to sleep. My head will not hit the pillow until it's done. That's the type of person you want to be. You don't want to be a motivated person. You don't want to be a, hey, rah, rah, we can do it. I feel great. Now I'm going to get my, I've got my motivation. Now I can go ahead and start actually taking the action

I want to. Because when you're consistent and you get things done, no matter how you feel, you actually become more motivated. Because motivation is not something, motivation is not a prerequisite to action. Motivation, there's actually been studies that have found people who are consistent versus motivated, is people who are consistent and take action is instead of motivation coming before action, motivation actually follows action. Most people hope for motivation and then they take action. What needs to happen though, is you need to take action to give yourself a chance at being motivated. Why? Because when your physical body starts moving,

you actually get more energy, you get more motivation, you get more drive to get done whatever it is you need to get done. And so that's what we're going to talk about today, is how to be more consistent with everything as you want to do. If you have goals for this year, if you have goals for this quarter, whatever it might be, don't hope that you're going to have motivation every single day. And man, you know what? If I wake up with motivation, then I'll take action on things that I want. No, no, no. It's like, I don't care what happens. I don't care what the world throws at me. I don't care what shit hits the fan. I'm going to get it done today because I said I was going to get it done today. And what I always tell people is when I look at

their goals, and I used to say this all the time when I work with my one-on-one clients, when I look at your goals and you're like, yeah, this is what I want to do over the week. What I say to them is I say, if you get hit by a truck, is this going to be done? That's what I want to know. If you get hit by a truck, which means doesn't matter what the time is, doesn't matter how I feel, doesn't matter at all, this thing is going to be done. So how do you be more consistent? Let me give you a really, really simple but extremely important tip. Start small. I know it's not like the biggest, sexiest tip I can give you about mindset techniques to try to get yourself motivated, but you start small. And how do you start small? You pick one thing

and one thing only that you're going to do for the next 100 days. Now, are you going to do other things in the next 100 days? Yeah, of course you are. But what you want to do is you want to find one thing that you can do consistently day in, day out for the next 100 days. Why do I say 100 days? Because it takes anywhere between 21 to 100 days to create a new habit. And so what I want you to do is instead of trying to focus on a bunch of things, I want you to focus on one thing. And listen, you're here, you're listening to this podcast. So inherently you are probably a overachiever or someone who wants to be an overachiever. Don't be that person in this situation. Don't do more than one thing. Because there's so many times where people will

join and they're like, you know what? I was so excited after I heard Rob's podcast. I decided to revamp my entire life and go, I'm going to do this thing and I'm going to do this thing and I'm going to do this thing and this thing and this thing and this thing. That's why when you hear people do a morning routine and they have like seven things on the first morning of their morning routine, I'm like, that's not going to stick. It's going to be really hard for that thing to stick. They have like six, seven things. It's like, so instead of waking up and actually being excited to go through the morning routine, they feel like they have to wake up and go through a checklist. Everybody wants to wake up and go, we already have to-do lists. We already have all

these other checklists we got to go through. And so listen to me. You find one thing and you tell yourself, I'm going to this one thing, no matter what, for the next 100 days in a row. Next 100 days in a row. And if I miss a day, I start back at day one. So if I get to day 43 of working out and I said I was going to work out for 100 days and I get to day 43, that's what I got to do.

I got to start back at day one if I miss day 43. And so listen to me, do one thing and one thing only. Because most people want to add five things to their schedule and what happens is it's so far out of their comfort zone that their ego, their subconscious ends up self-sabotaging. So if you've ever self-sabotaged, people are always like, well, why do I always self-sabotage? Probably because you're trying to do too many things that are outside of your comfort zone versus just one thing outside of your comfort zone each day. And what happens is your old self comes up and starts actually trying to battle the new self that you're trying to build yourself into. So listen, you're probably an overachiever or you want to be an overachiever.

That's why you're listening to this podcast. The non-overachievers are not listening to this podcast. If you do too much, it will be too much. And then you will probably stop following through. And so what I want you to do is I want you to start small. Using the internet without ExpressVPN is like taking a call on a train or bus on the speakerphone for everyone to hear. You don't know who has access to your most private, sensitive information. So don't be that person. Here's why I use ExpressVPN. Internet service providers know every single website that you visit. And in the US, they can legally sell this information to ad companies and give tech giants who then use your data to target you. So ExpressVPN creates a secure,

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put an X on that day so that you know you completed it. And when you start seeing a few of them in a row, you start getting motivated, quote unquote motivated, to continue it because you don't want to break that streak now. And what you want to find is what's called a keystone habit. So a keystone, to give you an idea, when you look at a Roman arch, right? You go over to Rome in Italy and you look at the arches that the entire Colosseum is built off of. They're all these Roman arches. And in the arch, there's a keystone.

The keystone is the one that is at the very center. And what happens is when it's put into place, it locks all of the other stones into place in that arch. And what happens is the most important part of that entire arch is the keystone because it locks all the other ones into place. And so a keystone habit is one thing that you focus on. And by focusing on that one thing, it actually changes other parts of your life. Like, so your life has changed by doing this one thing. So let me give you a couple of examples of keystone habits. You could take any of these and you could actually create your own if you wanted to. A keystone habit that I've found

for a lot of people, one of them is working out. Because all you have to do is just check off the box of working out. And I always say, don't focus on changing anything else in your life except for working out. And what ends up happening, slowly but surely, you start changing other parts of your life naturally. That one thing, that keystone habit, working out, changes other parts of your life. So you start working out, you know, and you don't change any other part of your life. You still eat the same, you still drink the same, all of those things. But eventually what happens is you work out, you work out, you work out, and you're putting so much effort into working out. You go, you know what? I mean, I'm working out. I might as well like,

I don't know, eat a little bit healthier. And it starts to change your life in the way that you eat. You know what? I'm working out. I might as well drink. I need to drink some more water. There's so many dehydrated people in this world, right? We're like 60 to 70% water and so many people are dehydrated and they don't know why they have the energy and why their brain doesn't work enough. You're just not drinking enough water. Why your skin doesn't look good. Why your digestion isn't good. You're just not drinking enough water. So you're working out and you're like, you know what? I'm going to drink a little bit more water. You know what? I've been working out so hard. I'm going to get a little bit

more sleep because my body needs some rest. And I know that muscle growth ends up happening and recovery is usually when I'm sleeping. So I've been working out. I'm going to get a little bit of sleep. You know what? Damn, I drink, I eat a lot of sugar. You know what I'm going to do? I've been working out so much. I'm going to eat a little bit less sugar. I saw a doctor the other day, he was talking, it was a YouTube video. And he was saying a hundred years ago, the average person ate half a pound of sugar per year. Fast forward to today, the average person, this is a crazy statistic. The average person eats a half a pound of sugar per day. A hundred years ago, people used to eat a half pound of sugar per year, processed like white sugar. Now, we eat about a half a pound of sugar per day. So maybe I've been working out so much, I'm going to eat a little bit less sugar. So I don't get

that inside of my body and it's not necessary. And when you have excess sugar, you get excess fat from it. Okay. You know what? I've been working out so much. Maybe I'm going to drink a little bit less. I'm going to drink a little bit less alcohol. A little bit less alcohol, a little bit more water. And so what happens is the only thing that you focus on, the only thing that I care about you being consistent with, the only thing that needs to change in your life is the working out every single day for a hundred days. And then what happens? All the other stones in your life start changing a little bit. You work out and that working out turned into eating healthier. It turned out drinking more water. It turned out, turned into getting more sleep. It

turned into having less sugar. It turned into drinking less alcohol. And that one thing starts to change other parts of your life. What's another keystone habit? Waking up early. Waking up early is a great keystone habit. And I don't, what I mean by waking up early, I didn't say anything about a morning routine, right? Do I think morning routines are important? Yes. Do I have a morning routine? Yes. But I don't care about any of that. I know that if your feet hit the floor an hour earlier than it normally does, that's a win. That you can check off that box as long as your feet hit the floor and you don't get back in bed. Why? Because if you're up an hour earlier than it normally does, that's a win. You can check off that box as long as your feet hit the floor and you don't get back in bed. Why? Because if you're up an hour earlier,

you're going to sit there and you're going to be sitting on your couch. You're going to go, well, I mean, I'm awake. I might as well do something, right? Yeah. What should I do? Well, I mean, I got a little bit of energy today. Maybe I could chug a coffee. Maybe I could go for a run. Maybe I could work out a little bit. Next day, you wake up a little bit early and you're like, what do I want to do today? I mean, I could journal. Yeah, journaling sounds pretty good. I'm going to do some journaling today. Next day, you wake up and you got an hour to kill and you're like, you know what I should do? I kind of want to read that new book I just bought. And then you decide to read a book. And you wake up a little bit early the next day and you're like, you know what?

I want to develop my calmness. So I'm just going to start to meditate today. I wake up the next day and you're like, you know what? I got an hour, an hour to kill. I'm going to go for a walk. I'm going to go for a walk with my dog. I'm going to go for a walk with my children. I'm going to go for a walk with my spouse. All you did was focus on one thing, which was waking up your feet, hitting the floor. That is the win if you do it an hour early, but that feet hitting the floor turned into doing a workout one day, doing journaling one thing, which was waking up your feet hitting the floor, that is the win if you do it an hour early. But that feet hitting the floor turned into doing a workout one day, doing journaling one day, doing reading one day, doing meditating one day, going for a walk another day. And I'm not saying focus on any of those other things. I'm just saying focus on the one thing for 100 days,

your feet hitting the floor. If you hit the floor early, boom, that's a win. What's another one? Eating healthy is another great one. So eating healthy can be a great keystone habit where you decide, you know what? I'm just going to eat healthier. Whatever that means to you. You're going to stick to a specific diet, whatever that diet is. I don't know. You could do Whole30. You could do vegetarian, vegan. You could do carnivore diet. You could do fruititarian diet. I don't care what the diet is. You figure out what eating healthy means to you because that's subjective. Everyone's eating healthy is different than another person's. But you're like, next 100 days,

I'm only going to do this thing, this diet, this eating, quote unquote, eating healthy, whatever that means to you because everyone's body is different. And you're like, okay, that's the one thing I'm going to do. And then what happens? It starts affecting other areas of your life. You know what? I mean, I've been eating so healthy. I don't really feel like having a drink tonight. Next day, you're like, you know what? I've been eating so healthy. I don't really feel like having a drink tonight. Next day, you're like, you know what? I've been eating so healthy. I'm going to do a little bit of yoga. Next day, you're like, I've been eating healthy. I'm going to drink a little bit more water. And what happens is these keystone habits, these things that are planted into your day that

you're focusing on just being consistent on that one thing, not searching for motivation, not I hope that I can find time to work out today. I hope I can find some time to wake up today. I hope I can find time to eat healthy today. It is my fucking head will not hit the bed until this thing has been done. And that's the commitment that you have to have. And when you have that commitment to consistency and you do it for a hundred days, it actually starts to become who you have. And when you have that commitment to consistency and you do it for 100 days, it actually starts to become who you are. And when you become that type of person, your life starts to change. And think about this. If you just focus on one thing for 100 days, and once those 100 days is up and you're at 100 days, you can say, is this built into me? Yeah, it feels pretty built into me. Like if you've ever worked out for 100 days, it feels pretty built into you to work out.

Like it feels weird to not work out if you've ever worked out for a hundred days, it feels pretty built into you to work out. Like it feels not, it feels weird to not work out. If you've been working out for a hundred days, if you've been eating healthy for a hundred days, it feels weird not to do that. If you've been waking up early for a hundred days, it feels weird not to do that. And so what we're trying to do is trying to build this habit into who you are. And if you do a hundred days and then you focus on something different the next hundred days and then you focus on something different the next 100 days, and you focus on something different the next 100 days, there's 365 days in a year. That means that over the course of a year, you could develop three really big keystone habits into who you are. Think about how different you would be 365 days from today if you develop three really big,

different you would be 365 days from today if you develop three really big, big old lever moving keystone habits into yourself over the next 365 days. And you'd have an extra 65 days to figure out what the next thing is and to get almost halfway through the next thing. So instead of saying, I'm going to focus on doing all three of these things at one time, it's like, I'm going to do this thing for 100 days. Then after those 100 days, I'm going to do this thing for 100 days. And after those 100 days, I'm going to do this thing for a hundred days. Then after those hundred days, I'm going to do this thing for a hundred days. And after those hundred days, I'm going to do this thing for a hundred days. What happens is you actually start to slowly but surely build these habits, these actions into your life that actually starts to change you. But what it comes down to is not wanting to be motivated, not hoping for some fleeting emotion to come inside of you and go, oh, I'm excited to do this today. It is, I said I was

going to do it and I'm going to do it no matter what. That is who you want to be. Because consistency, becoming a consistent person is a character trait that can be built into you. I want you to build a consistent character trait into yourself instead of trying to hope that a fleeting emotion called motivation just magically comes into your body each day. And so focus on being consistent and you will win. Focus on being consistent and your life will change. If you focus on being consistent with these little small things every single day, you'll be a completely different person 365 days from today. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode, make it your mission,

make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.