The Mindset Mentor - Don’t Grind Your Life Away

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the entire world, thanks to you guys. I'm your host, Rob Dye. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you want to keep improving yourself, I have a training, it's a video training on how to journal that you can access if you go to mindset improving yourself, I have a training. It's a video training on how to journal that you can access if you go to mindsetmentorjournal.com. And also when you get that training, you also get 15 days of journaling sent to you every single day to help you improve

Starting point is 00:00:38 in your journaling practice. So once again, if you want that absolutely free, it is mindsetmentorjournal.com. Today, we're going to be talking about not grinding your life away. And in our really fast-paced go, go, go, grind, grind, grind, hustle, hustle, hustle society, it is all too easy to get caught up in the daily grind, to trying to climb the corporate ladder. We want success. We want financial stability. We want to buy some cool shit. I want a Lamborghini. I want a big old house. I want to travel the world. I want to put this stuff on Instagram and show how awesome I am to other people, right?

Starting point is 00:01:12 A lot of people think this way. And mind you, I will tell you, I am speaking 100% from experience of this, of being somebody who worked when I was, you know, let's see, it was 2009. So I was 23 years old, 23, 24, 25 years old. I worked 110 hours a week for three years straight, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, because all I wanted to do was be successful. It's like that Drake's old school Drake song, I Just Want to Be Successful. I think that's also from like 2009, 2010. So listen to that song all the time. And it was just like, I thought that the point of life was to succeed. And so I can tell you from experience, I know what

Starting point is 00:01:57 that feels like, but I also know what's on the other side of it. And so it is important and it is fun to climb the corporate ladder, to have financial success, to succeed, to be able to buy cool things, to be somebody who has achieved. Like that is important. Achievement is important. It is what we all want to do in some way. You know, that could be financial success. It could be a relationship success. It could be achieving as a great parent and creating great children. We all want to succeed and achieve in some sort of way. All of that stuff is important. But when you look at the job that you have or the company that you're creating, all that stuff,

Starting point is 00:02:33 none of that is actually truly the meaning of life. It's not. I will give you my thoughts of what I think that the true meaning of life is because it has moved and shifted over time. I think that the true meaning of life is enjoying life. So we were like, why are we here? What is the point of it, right? To enjoy it, right? Growing with the people who truly matter. There's a really viral quote about a guy saying it recently on a podcast, but I read an article on it back in like 2018, 2019. And the point of life, in my opinion, is to enjoy the passage of time, to just enjoy time as it passes. But so many of us, myself included, for years are just white knuckling our way through life, trying to be somewhere that we're not. And we're not ever present.

Starting point is 00:03:25 We're always living in the future. We're always trying to get to the next thing, to grind, to do it, to be there, hustle, hustle, hustle, right? And it's a really hard truth to face. But if you look in the corporate world, everybody is replaceable. Everybody. No matter how skilled or dedicated you are, if you were to die suddenly, your employer would need to find somebody to fill your position. It's just the way that it goes. You know, my most viewed Instagram reel is at 11 million views and it's literally all about how replaceable we all are and that we're not enjoying our life to the way that

Starting point is 00:03:59 we want to. And that's my most viewed video that I've ever made. 11 million views. Hundreds of thousands of people have commented and shared it and liked it and all this stuff. It shows that a lot of us are so focused on just trying to succeed and get somewhere versus just enjoying where we currently are. And I'm not saying don't be motivated. I'm not saying don't be driven.

Starting point is 00:04:19 You can always be those, but also you can still just enjoy where you are. You know, side note, if you don't follow me on Instagram, it's Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I share some really fire stuff on there. So if you like this podcast, you'll definitely like my Instagram as well. But going back to the whole side of every one of us is replaceable if we work for someone else. Being replaceable is, I just want to say this real quick so you know, it's not a reflection of your worth as a person. That's not what I'm saying. It just is the way that it is. It's a skill set that you have in a role and that skill set can be found somewhere else. So don't kill yourself over something like that. I'm not saying don't work hard. I'm saying work your ass off. But I

Starting point is 00:05:00 love working hard. But people I think most people need to work harder. But I'm also saying outside of that is your real life. I needed to hear this when I was 23, 24 years old. Hey, dude, you know, running your business, it's not your whole life. Making money shouldn't be your whole life. There's other things to experience and to enjoy and people to enjoy with, right? And so for me, I was just head down, no relationships, grind, try to succeed for a long time.

Starting point is 00:05:30 And so I love hard work. I think that everybody listening probably could work harder and should work harder. But I'm also saying outside of that is actually what your real life is. And so when you look at the relentless pursuit of success that's just really omnipresent in our society, we live in a world where success tends to be measured most of the time, if we're being honest, by somebody's paycheck, how much money that they make. in a bank account, you know, just a bunch of little dots that are on a screen. And when you start to focus on that, you really start to lose sight of what really matters. You know, like I'm, I'm hardcore on growth. I'm hardcore on working my ass off on becoming a better version of myself, of you becoming a better version of yourself. But I'm just here to tell you now it, you know, getting closer to 40 every single day. It's not what life is all about.

Starting point is 00:06:28 23 year old Rob. Yeah, that's what he thought life was all about. Almost 40 year old Rob. It's not what life is all about. No amount of money can replace the people around you. No amount of money can replace the love that's around you. And it doesn't mean that it's either you succeed in life or you have a great family. This is a really big point I want everyone to hear

Starting point is 00:06:50 is I'm not saying that, okay, you've got to give up all of your, your wanting to achieve in your drive and your motivation in order to be happy. I'm not saying that at all because that's a really scarcity mindset. Scarcity is or. I either am a really successful business owner or I have a great family. That's scarcity. Or is scarcity. And is abundance. It's not or, it's and. I want to live an and life, right? I am going to be extremely successful and I'm going to be the best fucking father and spouse that I can possibly be. It's and. And if I need to evolve myself and grow myself past the capacity that I'm currently at in order for both of those realities to exist, I am going to do that. And so I can look at myself now and say, okay,

Starting point is 00:07:45 is it possible right now for me to be an incredible business owner and also the best spouse and father that I possibly can be? Okay. Maybe it's, it probably can be possible. I can, I can, I can get myself to there. Okay. So what do I need to do to grow myself? What do I need to do to evolve myself so that both of those realities exist? Because that's an abundance mindset versus scarcity is like, well, I'm either successful or my wife loves me. I'm either successful or my children decide that they like me. No, that's not the way that works. Success is only fun when you have someone to celebrate with. So I'm going to do both. That's the way I want to look at it, right? Harvard did a 80 year old, 80 year study. It's still going on. I think it's about almost 90 years old at this point out of 700 men that they studied from literally teenage years until death.

Starting point is 00:08:34 The number one key to happiness was close, trusting relationships, not becoming a millionaire, not buying a Ferrari, not having a nice house. The number one key to happiness was close and trusting relationships. And the people that were lonely or had bad relationships almost always died earlier. So they actually found that toxic relationships are actually toxic to the human body. And so, you know, you've got to start to think about like, who do you want to be as a person? You know, you can be a successful business owner. You can climb the corporate ladder. You can go from, you know, salesperson to CEO if you want to and all that.

Starting point is 00:09:12 That is great. But nobody cares about that when you die. They don't. When you pass away, it's not your professional accomplishments that are remembered by people. It's not like 10 years after you pass away, they can be like, well, Joe, he was just a really great, he's just a really great salesperson. No, that's not what they talk about, right? What you leave behind is how you act, interact and treat people in the time that you're here. And really what it is, is the impact that you had on the lives around you. You know, and I became very aware of this. And I've told this story before on the podcast of my ex-girlfriend. I was really close to her and her family when I was in high school and

Starting point is 00:09:50 my first couple of years of college. And then we broke up. But about 10 years later, her father passed away after breaking up. It was like 10 years later. And her father passed away. And his funeral actually happened to be when I was back in Florida over Christmas break, back from Texas. And she invited me and I had never been to a funeral with so many people. Like he was not successful. He was not this guy who had all of the money in the world. But he had so many people that literally there were, there were people that were sitting and then the entire wall on the outside of the church was filled with people. And it was so much that they had to actually to lift up some of the windows and

Starting point is 00:10:35 some people had to be outside because it was that many people at a funeral. And I thought to myself, holy shit, it's not about how many dollars are in your bank account when you die. It's about how many people did you impact? What did you do when you were here? And so I started thinking about it to myself and I was like, man, like when I die, which will be one day, what do I want to be said at my eulogy? Oh my God, he was just a great businessman. That's the last thing that I want someone to say about me. So you start to think about what do you, who do you want to be remembered as? You know, what do you want to be remembered by? What habits, what traits, what characteristics do you want people to say about you after you're gone? People won't say, oh, he was worth $10 million when he died. No, they'll say, oh man, he was so kind. He was so

Starting point is 00:11:20 loving. He was giving. He was thoughtful. That's what they're going to say about you. Because the legacy that you leave behind is determined by what you do while you're here. You know, there are people who get to the end of their life and their children are basically like, you were never there for me. And that's one of the biggest regrets. I remember listening to, and I won't name the coach, very successful, extremely successful, extremely famous college coach. And he was at his daughter. She was graduating and she was going, she played volleyball. She was graduating and she was basically getting, choosing what school she was going to go to for college.

Starting point is 00:12:00 And she had full rides to a bunch of different schools. And she gave this speech and she's like, and this is like heartbreaking to think about, right? She's giving this speech to her family of like, mom, thank you so much. You were there, you did this, you were always doing this, you're always doing this, you're always doing this. And then she looks at her dad and she says, dad, there's not just, there's not much to say because you just weren't there. there's not much to say because you just weren't there. And he has this, one of the most successful football coaches ever, but his daughter said, there's not much to say just because you weren't there. And so what do you want? And this is somebody who's won multiple championships and

Starting point is 00:12:37 been extremely successful, but his daughter, he wasn't there for her. And so the legacy that you leave behind is determined by what you do in life, who you touch, who you impact, how you made others feel, not what you did in your day job, not what your job title is, not how much money is inside of your bank account. And it's important to really start to think about and take a step back, you know, because we get so caught up in day to day. And sometimes we wake up years down the road, we're like, Oh, my God, how did I get here? It's important for all of us to take a step back every once in a while and to, to think like, what is the balance that I want in my business and my life? Right? Like once again, I'm speaking to you from experience. I have royally fucked this one up, royally fucked it up,

Starting point is 00:13:18 right? 110 hours a week for three years. And sometimes things got to go out of balance to go in balance, but I was way, way, way out of balance. Right. And so I want you to understand, like, sometimes you've just got to decide, like, what do you want the balance to look like? Well, who do you need to be? How do you need things to be? How do you need your time management to be for, for all of the realities that you want to exist? The incredible parent, the incredible spouse, the incredible business owner, extremely successful traveler, kind giving, loving, all of that.

Starting point is 00:13:47 Who do you need to be? How do you need to change in order to make that happen? What does the balance need to be? And so I'm gonna give you a couple tips to really help you achieve the balance that you're looking for. The first thing that I think is super, super important is to set boundaries for yourself,

Starting point is 00:14:02 but also other people that you might work with. If you have a boss, you could set some boundaries. If they're texting you at Sunday night, every single Sunday, five times a day, maybe you should set some boundaries, right? So establish clear boundaries between your work and your personal time. And it can include specific work hours, when you're checking emails, when you're not checking emails, when you're taking work calls, when you're not, and just really designing your life to look the way that you want it to. And you need to set boundaries with yourself first off, and then you need to set boundaries with others. So, you know, the thing about boundaries is I always say there's three steps to setting boundaries. Number one is to get really clear on what the boundaries are. Number

Starting point is 00:14:44 two is to clearly communicate them. And number three is to stay firm on them. Because the boundaries are always going to be overstepped. You're going to overstep your boundaries. Other people are going to overstep your boundaries. You have to stay firm. And when you communicate them clearly, first off, when you get clear, and then the more clear that you are, the more that you can clearly communicate them. And then when someone does overstep the boundaries or you overstep the boundaries of yourself, you can then clearly communicate how you need to stay firm. So that's the first thing is to figure out like, what does it look like? You know, when do you work? When do you not work? When are you around?

Starting point is 00:15:16 When are you not around? What does it look like for you? And I'm going to talk a bit more about that in just a second. Also, the other thing that I would say is the same way that you schedule work meetings and a deadline and something that's due, schedule time for your relationships. You know, if you're in a relationship, do you have weekly date nights? Do you have game nights with family? Do you have regular catch-ups with friends? Do you, you know, when you drive to work, instead of listening to music, do you call up someone you haven't spoken to every single morning? And just by deciding to schedule these moments, you're more likely to make other people and being around other people and enjoying your life more of a priority. So that's the second thing. Another thing is to learn to delegate and to say no. I have found that a lot of people in this world are yes men and yes

Starting point is 00:15:59 women. They say yes to everything and they get stepped all over because of it. And so you have to recognize that you can't do everything. And so you need to actually start to say, hey, I can't do that. You know, you need to figure out what it is you can do, what it is you can't. You need to start figuring out how to delegate tasks for work, for your personal life, so that you can do more of what you truly want to do. And then learn just to say no when you're stretched too thin and say, hey, like, I can't do this. The thing that I found that the most successful people that I know are really good at compared to most people is they're really good at saying no. They know when something lines up with

Starting point is 00:16:35 what they're trying to do in their life and their priorities, and they know when something doesn't. They're very firm on saying yes or they're saying no if it lines up or if it doesn't line up. And then the last thing is really just start trying to be present more often. So something I've really been working on a lot, you know, even yesterday, like I had an extra 20 minutes and sure, I could have taken out my phone. I could have done some more work. I could have gone on Instagram. I could have watched something on YouTube. But I was like, you know what? It's a beautiful day outside. I'm going to go sit outside in the sun. And I went outside with my dog and I just sat there and just didn't have my phone, didn't have anything. And I was like, I'm just going to sit outside and just enjoy the passage of time.

Starting point is 00:17:12 You know? And so it's like, be present sometimes. Be present when you're with your loved ones, be fully present. You know, don't multitask, you know, give them your undivided attention. Put your phone away at a certain time. Delete Instagram if you need to. Turn on your Do Not Disturb at six o'clock and don't go back to your phone until tomorrow morning. Whatever it is you need to do to be more present, figure it out. Because it'll really help you deepen the connections

Starting point is 00:17:35 that you have and ensure that when you are with somebody, because it's not about the amount of time you spend with somebody, it's the amount of actual presence that you give somebody that really matters. And so I'm just gonna tell you this. You won't look back in 20 years and see your kids fully grown and think, man, you know what? I wish I would have spent more time at the office. I promise you that. You won't be like, you know what? I wish I would have spent more time on Instagram. I wish I would have spent

Starting point is 00:18:00 more time on my phone. You're going to say, oh man, I wish I would have spent more time with my children. Now they're gone. Now they have their own children. And so it's really about just sitting down and reevaluating our priorities. Every once in a while, we just need to take a step back and figure out what our priorities are, what we want to do, where we want to go. And are we dedicating enough time to creating the relationships that we want, to loving our life, to being present, to doing the things we want to do, or have we gone out of balance? Have we gone a little bit out of balance towards work or whatever it might be? Then, hey, what do I need to go to get back in balance? Am I going to beat myself? I'm not going to be an

Starting point is 00:18:31 asshole. Oh my God, I can't believe you did this again. It's just like, oh, noted. I went out of balance again. What do I need to go back in balance that I want to? And that's really what it comes down to. Just don't spend so much time making a living that you forget to make a life. You weren't just born to pay the bills and die. You were born to experience life, to have fun, to be present and see what you can get out of it. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram stories and tag me in it. Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I'll be honest with you. The reason why this podcast grows as much as it does is because you guys share it as much as it does is because you

Starting point is 00:19:05 guys share it as much as you guys do. So if you would continue to keep sharing it, there might be somebody who's out there who follows you on Instagram and they might see this post on your stories and they might say, oh my gosh, I really want to listen to that podcast. And it might start to change your life. So if you do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Don’t Grind Your Life Away

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