The Mindset Mentor - Embrace The Suck

Episode Date: December 30, 2019

In order to grow, you must push outside of your comfort zone. In this episode, my friend Dean DeVries is going to talk about how his "Embrace The Suck" journey has been pushing him outside of his comfort zone and how it has been changing his life.Make 2020 the best year of your life and join my IronMind60 Challenge here: http://ironmind60.com/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. If you have not done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode of this podcast. All right. So in this podcast episode, I dive in with deep with my best friend, Dean DeVries. Dean is on a journey of what he calls embracing the suck, living outside of his comfort zone as much as possible, not pushing himself so far that he can't handle it, but going a little bit further and a little bit further and a little bit further. And in this episode, there's a ton of nuggets on how to grow, how to become the best version of yourself, and then how to also make sure that you take your comfort zone and you see it as just a milestone and you go on

to the next comfort zone. So if you feel like you've been stuck for a while in the same place, this episode is 100% perfect for you. Without further ado, I'm going to go ahead and dive in and let you listen to the episode with my best friend, Dean DeVries. So here we go. Welcome to today's podcast. Today, I have my good friend, Dean DeVVries who you guys all know and love. And I am sitting inside of his house. We're traveling in Florida. And Dean has a new schedule that he is on that I thought would be super interesting to share with you guys. And to talk about embracing the suck.

And so I'm sitting here with Dean. First off, Dean, welcome to the podcast again. Thank you, brother. It's great to be here. Of course. Let's just go ahead and dive in since I know who you are. You need no introduction. Let's tell everybody about you embracing the suck. So embracing the suck. Well, first of all, I have been really committed in 2019.

That was like my year to just kind of focus on building my self-awareness. And so all of these new practices that I'm kind of bringing into my schedule, including like a massive schedule changes, all because of that, that increased my self-awareness. So yeah, I just started doing things that made me feel uncomfortable. And, um, I actually, uh, started reading David Goggins book can't hurt me. And that's kind of where I got the idea. And like for anybody that hasn't listened to that or read it, it's like so inspirational. And also like the way that this guy thinks is just, it's amazing. And like the whole idea that our comfort zone is not real. It's just, it's made up and it's just, it's,

it's actually from our ego and the ego, you know, gives us this, um, you know, this, this idea of who we are, when really we are probably only we're probably 10 times more than what our ego believes us believes ourselves to be. So. So yeah, embracing the suck for me has been looking like waking up a lot earlier, I was waking up at like 630 seven o'clock. Let me pause real quick. So one thing that I love about David Goggins for anybody who's never heard of him or never seen anything he's put out there is he talks about the law of 40%. And this guy, just so you guys have an idea, he's broken crazy world records. He ran the most miles ever in 48 hours. So we ran for 48 hour street, ran 204.5 miles in 48 hours. He had the world record for the most pull-ups in a day. And in 17 hours, he did over 4,000 pull-ups. He's ran like 40 or 50 hundred mile marathons and he's not a runner.

He actually hates running. He hates biking, but he does it anyways because he hates it. And he says that when you're at the point where you think that you're going to just completely pass out and you think that your body's done, He says that you're only at about 40% of your human capacity. And what happens is your brain has this little mechanism inside of it that will basically tell you to stop out of safety because your brain only cares about safety. And so this guy knows from literally pushing himself and pushing himself and pushing himself that he's only about 40% done when he thinks he's fully done. And so the thing about it that you realize is it's never a physical thing. It's always a mental thing. And that's what you're starting to figure out with this embracing the suck, right? Is that you've never,

you've probably been at, you know, if you figure that, that when you're absolutely at nothing left, you're at 40%, we probably live our lives at 20%. Maybe, right? And like most people live their life, like everybody out there, think about what you live your life at. If absolute exhaustion is only 40% of your human capacity. Yeah, totally. And like the, the, the comfort zone idea is, you know, if we can just do things that are just outside of our comfort zone constantly. And that's kind of what this journey has been looking like for me. Like I'm not, I'm not necessarily like going from zero to 100 on one day, but I'm just focused on progress and focused on just just staying at the edge of my comfort zone. And each time that I push to that edge, and then do something that's just over the edge of

that comfort zone, my comfort zone expands. And now all of a sudden, it gets comfortable. And so kind of the story that is popping into my awareness right now about that is, I started waking up at, you know, I started waking up earlier, I was waking up at like 630. So I went to six o'clock, then that started getting comfortable. So I'm like, okay, I'm having some awarenesses. And I'm also being really intentional about like, okay, how am I showing up to this? You know? And how am I like, what, the, the, the limiting beliefs that start creeping in and just looking at my thoughts as an, as a spectator, you know, being the observer of the thoughts,

like have you ever caught yourself like having a thought? Yeah. And then you're like, who is it? That's actually thinking this thought. Right. And who is it that's actually thinking this thought? Right. And who is it that's actually, so you have the thought and you, and most people identify themselves with the thought and that's what really gets them into places that are, that are bad. And then you realize,

you know, I actually am observing the thought that I don't even remember making or know where it came from. So you're the observer of the, it's like, you know, if you read, what's the power of now, he says it all came from. So you're the observer of the, it's like, you know, if you read, what's the power of

now, he says, it all came from, he woke, he wanted to keep, thought he wanted to kill himself. And he said, I can't live with myself anymore. And then he realized that there's the I, which is his true awareness. And there's the self that he's created. I can't live with myself. So therefore, I must change the self. And he realized, I don't need to kill myself. I need to change the self because it's not who I truly am. It's just who I've put the mask on for the entire world to be. Totally.

Just to see at least. Yeah. And there's always that gap between like, you know, where we perceive ourself to be and then where we truly are. And, you know, I kind of been looking at that through the lens of like, that's my higher self, you know, my, my, my most authentic self, my true self and identifying that gap and saying, okay, this is where my self is. And then this is my highest self. And, you know, having, um, so your highest self

wants you to push yourself seems like, but your lower self, AKA the ego is the one that goes, dude, just sleep in. Is that, is that kind of what it is all the time? Yeah. And, and also there's the, the part of the ego that also identifies what that gap is and then has, um, some thoughts around that gap, like either shame, or, you know, like, that's, that's kind of what came up for me, like, Oh, why am I not? Why am I not doing this better? Or why am I not, you know, pushing myself to this level, because deep down inside, I think we can all relate to this, where we're deep down inside, we all know we have more inside of us to give. And we, we have like this, this expression of,

you know, success or the expression of just being more authentic, happy, joy, peace. So like, you know, identifying, um, that, that gap is, uh, is actually like our journey, you know, and to love the journey and to appreciate the journey and to honor the journey is, you know, you don't have to have any shame around it. So that was like kind of the first thing that I, I'm glad that we actually, you know, kind of rewinded there, because this is an important piece to it. You know, building the awareness of like the self and then also the higher self and, um, and then honoring that gap and honoring the journey that we're on. And, um, one of the things, um, have you ever read, um, I forget the guy's name, but, um, way of the superior man.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You told me to read it like six months ago or eight months ago, whatever it was such a good book. So, you know, a piece that I took from that is, you know, live on the edge of that comfort zone. Like do things that are just past the edge. Yeah, you don't have to like explode passing. I'm gonna start running a hundred miles today, but it can't be just one mile today. And then one and a quarter tomorrow.

And that has always been my challenge because I have lived my life this way for a very long time where the only thing Dean ever does in moderation is moderation exactly so like you know what it's like okay I need to wake all right I'm waking up at 630 the old me was like all right well if I'm not waking up at 2 a.m. then I'm just not gonna do it at all and there's also like that ego in there where it's like, you know, I, it actually, that was just an excuse that the ego came up with, just to keep me in my comfort zone.

When when really, I was like, like, my, my conscious brain was trying to make logic of why I was doing this. And it was like, Oh, well, you know, I want to do that. But I'm not going to do it unless I do it like awesome, because I'm awesome. You know, and I just couldn't be humble to that. And so this has been huge, just a huge journey that I just really appreciate. And, you know, inviting that moderation, inviting like the imperfection, but also the progression, you know, and there is no such thing as perfection. In fact, I should actually rephrase that because that's not my belief system anymore. My belief system is that everything is perfection. And so it's all perfect.

The journey that I've taken is all perfect. There's perfect in what you screwed up. Exactly. Like I needed to is all perfect. And there's perfect in what you've screwed up. Exactly. Like I needed to screw that up and what it served me so well to screw that up. And I wouldn't be who I am without me screwing that up. I wouldn't have this awareness unless I screwed that up. So like, I'm very thankful for that. And that's just what I needed. That was my curriculum that I needed to move forward on my journey. So, um, you know, and so much of the, the, uh, um, you know, what holds us back is that ego. So

embracing the suck, in my opinion, is about, um, kind of slaying the ego, uh, not saying that we should completely do away with our ego, because it does serve a purpose, it's there, and it's meant to be honored, and it's meant to be loved. And it's meant to be, you know, in our experience, but the the embracing the suck is also the battle between like, the ego self and the higher self. And when we do things throughout our day, and when we're faced with different situations, we can choose. And I learned this from Bill Harris, from the guy actually that made Holosync. So in his book, he talked about anything that happens in your awareness is your choice. And anything that happens outside of your awareness is not your

choice. It's kind of happening on autopilot, it's going to just happen regardless. And so if we want more choices, we just need to build our awareness. And so that has been my mission over 2019 is to just build my awareness about my ego. And then as I build my awareness, I can have more choices around that. And the choice to embrace the suck has, has helped me build more awarenesses with, with my ego. So, so embracing the suck is, I believe, a David Goggins phrase. So walk us through, you know, what, what embracing the suck you what you've been doing, number one, and number two, what you feel like you've actually been learning through, through this, this process and this journey. So it actually all started with the first Ironman 60,

right? Because there's the cold shower, there is, you know, the exercising every day, sticking to a diet, you know, when you want to eat that cookie, you know, instead, day sticking to a diet, you know, when you want to eat that cookie, you know, instead, it's like, okay, let me eat some vegetables. You know, and the cold shower, like, I don't love cold showers. I don't know if anybody does. I, the only time that I love the cold showers after I'm already done with it. That's, that's the only time that I love it. And so for, you know, with, with the waking up early and, um, and also like, you know, I have a, I have some community around like holding me accountable to this as well. So, you know, and that was a big piece for me because I'll let myself down more than, you know, before I'll ever let somebody else down for sure.

So like, that's, I think also the genius with, you know, what, what ever let somebody else down for sure. So like, that's, I think also the genius with, you know, what, what you're doing with the iron mine 60, but the, um, yeah, the, the, the main thing has been just waking up earlier. Um, and the main reason why that came into my awareness as like a necessary thing is because I've got so much going on between like business, you know, between we've got, you know, two kids, a six month old son, we've got, you know, a house to manage. We've got, you know, actually multiple businesses that are kind of all launching all at the same time. You're about to close on another house that you're going to now move into while you're on vacation

and all you have a lot of stuff going on. Oh yeah. Yeah. We're trying to like, you know, enjoy our life while also like work really hard and, and, you know, manifest some amazing results, which is all happening. But there's also like that, you know, like when I, when I map out my schedule every week, I'm like, where's, where am I going to fit all this in? And the only choice, if I, the, the, the sacrifice that I made in the past has been my health. So like, you know, I'm right now compared to like two years ago, I'm about 15 pounds heavier, you know, and this is all because I've gotten busy and I've let my health suffer because of it. So I haven't been exercising as much. I've always been pretty good with a diet, but, you know, how I do one thing is how I do everything. And that's the belief that

I'm really just trying to anchor into myself. So like if I'm crushing it in business, but I'm not, uh, and my ego is telling me that I'm crushing it in business, but I'm not taking care of my health. I know that there's another level of me in business when I'm crushing it in my health as well. That's good. Yeah. So like, you know, how I do one thing is how I do everything. So like, that's the belief system that feels really good to have that whole, that holistic approach. And, um, you know, like I, I could do all the business stuff. I could do, you know, everything and leave my, you know, my, my health out of it. But when I made that decision of like, I'm going to start taking care of my body more, I need to show myself some

more love, I need to also experience another level, because there's so much on my plate. And there's so many people that are counting on me, I've got employees, I've got people that, you know, it's not just my family, I'm feeding, I'm feeding, you know, dozens of families and through this business. And so I, if I'm committed to showing up the best way that I possibly can for them in the business, I also need to be doing that same thing out of the business for my family and most importantly for myself. So, um, so the only way I could squeeze that, that, that practice in between exercising, you know, doing the meditation each day, like really committing to that, um, making that sacred, you know, that's like been

another theme for 2019 is like just holding more things sacred. And I believe that like the more things that we hold sacred, the happier we are, the more purpose we have. And I think those two go hand in hand, but like to have a purposeful life is just so gratifying. And like, I just want to be useful. You know, I just want to be my, my highest and best use. So I know I'm kind of like going in a bunch of different directions because like, there's so much here and, um, and the challenge is like just condensing it and like, you know. But it's good though because one thing that you said that I really love was the, even if your business is killing it and your health is terrible,

there's another level of your business when your health is incredible. And that's like most people don't think about that. And I know there's like, there's a lot of, you know, business people listen to us. There's a lot of moms that listen to us and they put everything into the business. They put everything into their family and they suffer personally, physically, mentally because of that. And it's like the phrase, which, you know, we've all heard, well, at least us in the personal development space have heard a million times where it's like, when the plane is going down, you have to put the oxygen on yourself first. And then you put the oxygen on the children next to you. And it's like, if you don't take time for your own health, your own diet, your own working out, then there is a part of your family that is suffering because you're not showing up

as your highest self. There's a part of your business that is suffering because you're not showing up as your highest, truest, healthiest self. You know, because there's times where we've all eaten crap before. And then, you know, we're in a hurry, we've got to eat something that's not as good as we wish it would have been, we didn't work out in the morning. And then we've got to go to work. And we're groggy throughout the day. Well, your business is suffering because of the fact of that. You know, there's also times where, you know, everyone's had it who's a parent or has ever been around kids, kids can be very agitating at some points in times, you know, when you're not getting your health or your diet or your mentality or your meditation, all that stuff on point,

your family is going to suffer because you might get really agitated and lash out at your kids. And that's not who you want to show up as a parent, you know? So it's not like pushing. The thing is when people hear about embracing the suck and pushing, like people hear when they, when I talk about the Ironman 60 challenge, everybody, we were just in, we were in Nicaragua, Guatemala and everyone at the table was like, why the hell would you do that? I was like, I just, it's so hard to explain to people that you're in, but then also everybody at the table is completely overweight. And I'm like, it's so hard to explain to people that like, when you push yourself outside of your comfort zone and you do things that you don't want to do, it grows you into a higher version of yourself that you're not hitting at this point.

And it's just like some people don't understand it. And I know people that have signed up for the Ironman 6, they probably told their friends and they're like, hey, I want you to be my accountability partner. They're like, why the hell would I do that? Or all of it sounds really good except for the cold showers. And it's like, it's the little voice inside of your head that tells you not to hop in the cold shower. It's the exact same little voice that tells you to sleep in. It's the exact same little voice that tells you to eat that cookie. It's the exact same. And it's like, I always use the phrase, no one ever died or no one ever died from a heart attack because they ate one hamburger. It's because they eat a lot of shit over 40 years and it builds up and it builds up and it builds

up and it builds up and it builds up. It's that little voice. It's not listening to it because of the fact that if you listen to it today and tomorrow and the next day, and then just a little tiny bit, it builds up. And 40 years later, you're like, I wasted this life. It's not what I want it to be. And now I feel like I'm too old to go do the things that I want to do. Yeah, absolutely. A couple of things that came up for me, dude, spot on. I think that's also like, you know, the iron mine 60, you have to be really committed to being of highest and best use. Like, do you want to be useful on your limited time here? Like, what do you want your journey to look like? Do you just want to, you know, just not, not serve your purpose? Yeah. And, and like, just kind of just be born and then just

sort of like float around and then just die off, you know, like, is that, is that, is that exciting like that? And I think that's, that is, um, a long lasting, um, belief system that really, for me feels good because I'm so committed to just being useful. I just want to be useful. Right. And that's part of like the ego death, you know, the ego, the ego doesn't necessarily care about being useful. The ego just cares about like, Oh, I just want to stay comfortable. I want to be important. Exactly. Yeah. And just like self-serving, you know, the other thing that, that you said was, um, you know, going back to, if I'm not taking care of myself, my business will suffer. Well, the, the, the more dangerous, um, you know, area to be in is when you're lacking

with your health, your health, and you're taking care of yourself and doing personal practices and just being happy and stuff like that. But you're still crushing it, right? In terms of the way that the ego looks at it, you're still crushing it in business. At least, you know, that's what the ego is telling you you're doing because it's in the comfort zone. Like, oh, yeah, I'm making, you know, 200's what the ego is telling you you're doing, because it's in the comfort zone, like, oh, yeah, I'm making, you know, 200 grand a year. And that's comfortable for me. Right. But like, the ego doesn't want to be exposed, knowing that's like, well, you could be making a million dollars a year, if only you just did this, too. Like, if you just adopted some of the principles that you have in, you know, in elevating your health and elevating

your personal practices and elevating just your habits. There's another level that's like 10x available to you. And that also is ego convincing us like, Oh, no, I'm doing fine. This is great. Like, I don't need to be doing all that stuff, too. Because I can kind of wing it and still be good. stuff too, because I can kind of wing it and still be good. Yeah, I always tell I always tell people the way that I used to think of it as as comfort zones are, you know, I used to just think of comfort zones. And I was like, man, I feel like it's, but to get out of a comfort zone, it's always a climb. And so the way I always talk about now is it's like, it's like mountaintops, like where you are now, you're making, you know, what, five, six times more than the average family in the United States does. Like you're not doing,

you're at, and what I call that, not to you specifically, we all get stuck in fat and happy syndrome. Like we're fat, we're happy, we're all good. We're great where we are. Like, and you don't have to physically be fat to be fat and happy, but it's just like, you're stuck in a place where things are very comfortable and you're now, you've hit the peak of your mountaintop and you could stay there if you want to, but you've, if you stay there and you're staying in your comfort zone, it's basically like looking down at the ground the entire time you're on top of this mountaintop. And then if you decide to look up, you go, oh, okay, wow. Look at how far I've come. Oh, shit, there's more up there. Like there's another mountaintop that I could go to.

And then you have the choice, am I going to stay in this comfort zone that I've been in for six months, a year, five years? I've had, you know, live classes where I've been on my Facebook lives and I've asked people, how long have you been stuck in your comfort zone? They say 40 years. They've been in the same spot for 40 years. And what I say is you're not stuck in the same spot. You're not, if you're not moving forward, you're going backwards, right? If you're not progressing, you're regressing. It's like Matt King used to always

tell us, our first mentor, you're either green or growing or you're brown and dying. And it's like, when you're at that mountaintop and you've been there for a little while, look up and go, oh my God, there is another mountaintop. Yeah, I could make more money or I could be happier. I could be a better parent. I could, you know, do what I do, take the steps that I need to, to put my family in a position, to have my kids live in a better part of town so they get a better education. And that would change their life. Because a lot of times this is, you know, I had years ago, about four or five years ago, I had a coach or I was coaching somebody. And, uh, and he was like, I want to make a hundred thousand dollars this year. Like he was, he was just under it, you know, is it like 75, 80 grand, whatever it was. And, uh, he was like,

I want to make a hundred thousand dollars this year. And I was like, why do you want to do that? He's like, I want to do it because I want to, you know, make that money. I've never done it before. And I always say, you got to go deeper. You got to go deeper. So we're going deep. Why do you, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why? We eventually get to the point where he says, I want to make a hundred thousand dollars this year because I don't have custody of my children. I want to regain custody of my children because my ex-wife lives in a bad part of town. And my biggest fear in the world is that my son is going to be shot and killed. And my daughter is going to be pregnant by 14. And I was like, okay, now we've got something

to work with because now you actually give a damn about your goals. And for him, he could just say, I want to make $100,000, which is what most people usually, they go for the monetary thing. Because their subconscious knows the real reason why they want to do it. He wanted to be able to put a down payment on a house so that he could regain custody, so that his children would not be killed in the streets, or his daughter would not be pregnant at a young age. And that's what his biggest fear in the world was. And then do you think he worked harder when he figured that out? Of course he did. But it was people always like, oh, money, money, this. I

don't care that much about money. It's not all about money, but money is a direct reflection a lot of times of how much you're pushing yourself and how much you're putting into the world. You know, it's a byproduct of the value that you give the world. And so, um, I think that for most people, they just need to, to, to take an honest look at themselves and go, am I stuck in this comfort zone? How long have I been here? How long have I been making the same amount of money? How long have I been about the same weight? How long have I been an, you know, about the same parent when I could be better? There's always another mountaintop. And that mountaintop that I always say is like, you're breaking through a comfort zone to get to another one because you have to climb to a mountaintop. You don't just, you know, take a plateau from

one mountaintop to another one. Yeah. And I think there's also an element of like, you know, if the purpose is to climb mountains, just enjoy climbing mountains. You know, when you get to the top of the mountain, where's the next mountain, you know, and just like continue enjoying that. Like, man, I just, I just love climbing mountains. You know, I don't need like, I'm not attached to getting to the top or getting to the bottom. I know I will. It just happens if you just commit to it, you know, but I just love climbing mountains. And just that if that's the purpose, then and kind of how I relate to that is in my business. Like I, you know, we set goals and stuff like that, but like I'm not attached to the money. And actually, ever since I became unattached to the money, you made a lot more,

my income grew. And I'm like, yeah, me too. And yeah, I don't care about it. It's like you get it. Yeah. And it's almost because like the ego, there's always that that ego that's playing in the background. That's like, Oh, yeah, you know, oh, you made 50 grand this month. Yeah, you're you're good. You don't need to do that every month. But then it's like, well, why am I attaching myself to that when really the purpose is just to serve my clients and serve my people that's the real purpose so I just need to love doing that and so and I and what I had to do was you know get Jen involved with that side of the business I'm like I don't want to know how much

money is in the bank account I just like I don't even want to look at it. Because all I want to do is just show up for my people and just show up like when there's something that when there's a problem I need to solve, or when there's, you know, when there's a situation where I can be useful, I'm just going to focus on that. And, and, you know, I actually boiled down my business to like the three activities that I'm the most useful in. And I actually got this from you. So thank you for this. Like, where are the resistance points in my business? And I know we're kind of getting off topic by there and we'll, we'll bring it full circle here. The, um, you know, where there was resistance points was, you know, where my ego was

showing up. And so like to just taking, taking all that out and then boiling it down to the three things that I'm the most useful doing, and then just focusing on that. And those are the highest dollar activities for me. So, you know, when, when I stopped focusing on, um, on that, the business grew. Um, and also like, this has been with my health, I don't look at the scale anymore. I don't count calories or anything. I just sort of listen to my body. And I'm just like, Hey, you know, not saying I eat perfect, but I don't need to eat perfect. I just want to feel useful. I just want to feel like I'm using my body for what it's meant to do. I'm using my hands, I'm using my legs. You know, I like, you know, feeling sore the next day after

like a really hard workout, because like, that's what we're meant to do. And just like you said, nobody ever died. What was the thing that you said? No one's ever died from eating one hamburger. It's always a bunch of little teeny tiny hamburgers or crackers or not crackers, but maybe it could be a lot of crackers, but it's a bunch of little teeny tiny bad decisions that lead them to that heart attack. Exactly. And that's a byproduct of like being too comfortable, you know, being too fat and happy, you know, like where I'm just like, oh yeah, it's the comfort food for a reason. I'm just going to keep being comfortable and just, you know, just eating those hamburgers. But nobody ever died from being uncomfortable. eaten those hamburgers, but nobody ever died from being uncomfortable.

Nobody's ever died. In fact, people have thrived from being uncomfortable. And David Goggins talks a lot about that in that book. And that's the whole idea of embracing the suck is thriving because you embrace the things that are, you know, our, our ego tells us, Oh, well don't do that because you know, that's not going to feel nice. But what if you knew that there was so much abundance on the other side of that? Like, wouldn't that be worth it? You know, there's always a cost to everything. So, like, you have to decide what you really want. Do you want to live a life of abundance or do you want to live a life of fear and comfort?

You know, and so, like, embracing the suck for me has just been about pushing myself. And like, now I'm at the point where I'm waking up at, I was waking up at five to get on a, a, an accountability call at five 30. And I was like, you know, I don't have enough time before that, that call. So then I started waking up at four 30 to get ready for my five 30 AM call. 4.30 to get ready for my 5.30 a.m. call. That still hasn't gotten comfortable. But what did get comfortable was the 5.30, you know, the 5.30 call. I'm like, you know, getting our call in at 5.30 actually is starting to feel a little comfortable. So let's push it to 5. And so now we're at a place that we haven't found the comfort yet. And that's a good thing because like, I feel more powerful. Like also, I didn't get much

sleep last night. I don't know if you, you know, heard, but Denver was crying all night. Like, I may have gotten like two hours of sleep last night. And but still waking up at four, and still jumping on my call with the energy that I need and the focus that I need. And also like intending on doing this podcast. And then, you know, I've got a great meeting set up for later on today. Like I've already visualized my day. I've already taken that time and I haven't rushed a thing. I've just been kind of hanging out and just doing it.

You know, I did CrossFit this morning. And like, I just feel so in control of my, you know, my, my choices. You know, I just, I've, everything that has happened today was just because I chose to do it. I love that. So tell me, tell me real quick, because I love the story you were telling me. So I get to the house, so you guys know, and Dean still has his checklist that he made from the last Iron Mind 60, where he did it with his family, and he did it with his stepson, Christian. And talk about how the family has been doing it. And also, I haven't even asked you for this next one coming up, how the family is going to be doing it as well. Yeah, so I think I shared this. I think we did like a Facebook Live or something. And I showed

the board. You remember that? We did a Facebook. It was like a, man, that was a long, that was the longest thing we've ever done. That was an hour and 45 minute Q and a session that we did inside of the Iron Mind 60. Yeah. Yeah. So like we, um, so I made this board. It had Jen, me and Christian and you know, mine were the Iron Mind 60, like, you know, stuck to my diet, exercise, or I think I put sweat every day, drink a gallon of water, cold shower. And then, you know, Christian were, you know, the five year old version of that, which was make your bed every day, play soccer for I think it was like 15 minutes or something. it was like 15 minutes or something. Um, and, uh, what's the other thing? Um, I think there's,

there's one other thing on there, but, um, but anyway, he, so we, we, we started that at the first iron mine 60 and, um, and actually after the iron mine 60, I've kind of like fallen off of a few of those things. So I'm really excited for this, this year. And you know, this it's a new year, it's a new decade, like so much momentum can be built here. So I'm really excited for this year. And, you know, it's a new year. It's a new decade. Like so much momentum can be built here. So I'm really looking forward to that. But what's crazy is that I've learned so much from Christian because since we did that Iron Mind 60 eight, nine months ago, he hasn't stopped. In fact, he's still recircling all of the numbers.

So he's done the Ironman 60 like three times already. So he's like on his third or fourth round. And, you know, it just shows like the power of habit and how like he's so impressionable because he's now six years old. But he just, you know, he gamified it, you know, and I think there's an element of us that kind of like that too, you know, where it's just like, oh, I get to circle, I can put my stars, you know, and, you know, in kindergarten, it's all about the stars and like the, you know, the going to be a time for all of us to decide what 2020 is going to be about, not in terms of what we want to create, because we will create what we're meant to create if we are who we are meant to be. And so it's all about like just showing up in the most, you know, the highest and best version of ourselves. So good. And, you know, you said you'll create basically the life that you want to create when you show up as a person that you're supposed to be. And the phrase that I always tell people, because people always, you know, I always say, you know, what's 20 years from now look like for you? And I say, imagine you're four years old, let yourself dream,

go through that whole process, put down every goal, aspiration, your life, your family, put down the materialistic stuff, put every, the traveling, put everything down that you want to. And people put it down and immediately what happens is people start thinking about what they need to do to get there. And I say, that's the wrong way of doing it. You actually need to ask yourself, who do I need to become in order to get that life? It's, it's not what you need to do because you're not going to do it if you're not the person that needs that will actually go and do it. Right. And so, so when I sit with people and I say, all right, 20 years from now, what does it look like for you? You know, if you're, if you have

this perfect dream life, well, let's, the next thing I want you to do is I want you to talk about who you are in that perfect dream life. And you go through the whole process and you say, well, now you just need to become that person every day and you will have that dream life. And that's it. And so I think that people, people get so, I know so many people that, that follow the podcast and reach out to me and, you know, follow me on Facebook and Instagram. They get so caught up in the minutia of what they need to do. I got to do this. I got to do this. I got to do this. I got to do this. And it's like, you just need to focus on who you need to become. And that life will come to you, right? It's like the Jim Rohn quote, success is not something that you go and get. Success is something that you attract by the person that you become. And people never think

about that. They always just think about what they need to do versus who do I need to be? Because everything starts from you. And if you're not the person that's going to go out and do it, or the type of person, or you don't have the, the, the comfort, or you don't have not the comfort, but the commitment to go out and do it, nothing's going to actually happen. Yeah, totally. And I love that, dude, because like, there's so many awarenesses about when we say things like even the language that we use, like, oh, I have to do that. Or I got to do it. You know, it's like, you map out these beautiful 20 year goals. And then to your point, how people start thinking, what do I have to do now? Right? Well, you actually said something really good when we were live.

You actually admitted on like day 20 or 30 or whatever it was that you had screwed up in the Ironman 60 challenge. And you had to start back over again because you can't just screw up a day. You're like, you got to start back at day one and take us through the, what you told everybody, cause I don't want to say it, but take us through what you told everybody about. You're like, ah, you know, the average person would be like, I have to go back and start at day one. But what did you think? So, I mean, that's, I think that the difference between the two perspectives,

I have to, versus I get to, you know, I re I that's, I think the difference between the two perspectives, I have to versus I get to, you know, I, I, I, in order to honor the journey, like, let me enjoy it. Let me, let me appreciate the journey. And the more that we appreciate, is that what you're talking about? Yeah. Well, you were basically like, you know, instead of 60 days, now it has to be 80 days, but I get to go do 80 days of this, Not, ah, shit, I got to start all over and do another 60 days on top of it. It's like, well, this, like you said earlier, everything happens perfectly. So there was a reason why you had to start over. So you, if you're going to do it, if you're going to climb the mountain, like we're talking about, don't be pissed off up the entire mountain, like enjoy it and look around you and go, all right. Yeah. I get to go and do another 60 days.

This is great. Yeah. And I'm glad you actually brought that up because I think what's been happening with my embracing the suck campaign that I'm on right now. I think a lot of that came from that decision to just number one, do that. And number two, do that with love and do that with appreciation. And with like, just the sense of like, man, like everything happens for a reason. I was meant to screw that up because I need 80 days, you know? So the, the other thing that happened a few months ago when I started, you know, wake doing the 5am, you know, calls or 530 and then 5am. And then just waking up with that hour just to, you know, give myself and, you know, spend the time that I need to get centered and exercise, whatever. That was actually my New Year's resolution. It started off as my New Year's

resolution. And, and I'm, it's so crazy how the ego just like it fucks with you man like the I was like you know for new year's resolution I was reading the book by the way and so I was kind of like into it I'm like yeah you know what for new year's I'm gonna embrace the suck so two two months away yeah I'm like oh I can't wait I'm like wait hold, I can't wait. I'm like, wait, hold on. Can I really not wait? Like, if that's true, then I must not wait. So like, I had to just be get really uncomfortable. That made me super uncomfortable. And I'm like, okay, like, let me lean into that discomfort.

Like, I'm not going to die. I know that. I'm not going to die by just waking up earlier and leaning into this discomfort of just being the more authentic version of myself. You know, that's only going to be beneficial. So I can get there with logic. But man, that ego just like, that ego will, it'll just, it'll just turn us around in circles and, and, and, you know, just go bring us down the rabbit hole. So that next day, that's when I started. I was like, I, you know, my New Year's resolution,

like if you have a New Year's resolution, and you're like, Oh, yeah, I'm gonna wait till New Year's to do that. And you know that that's going to change your life. Like, what are you doing? Like, how important is that to you? Like Like that's, it's that, you know, I would argue to say that it's probably not that important to you and you're just saying it because it sounds cool. And that's another thing that the ego loves to do is it loves to sound great and sound cool and fit in with everyone. Like, yeah, I'm going to do the Ironman 60 on January 1st, just like everybody else. Look guys, I'm with you guys. Like, I'm part of the club too, you know?

But it's like, well, if you're really committed to that, like, why don't you just start now, you know? You got 20 minutes. Why don't you go for a run? Do something. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so, okay.

So to finish it all up, we're about to start in a few days. What is the goal for 2020 2020 what's your goal for embracing the suck what's your goal for your iron mind 60 like what are you trying to get from let's just say the first 60 days the first two months of the year what's your what's your goal with everything um so my goal i mean aside from like the practices like the um why are you doing it all what's the what's what are you trying to get out of it all I I want to see how um like I'm really into this thing now with you know I love being uncomfortable not because it feels good because it's uncomfortable like that's the whole thing you know but I love watching myself as the observer you know bringing

that back in I love watching myself as the observer on you know, bringing that back in. I love watching myself as the observer on what I do when I'm uncomfortable, you know, and just be like, oh, that's interesting how I'm, I'm now doing this, you know, when I'm uncomfortable and not saying that I have to make any sort of radical decision in that moment. But the answers always come, you know, when you build the awareness and then the choices start coming when it's like, oh, I now have the option to change that because that is now in my awareness. I didn't realize I was doing that before. But to me, like, okay with doing the practices. Doing it consistently, you know, like not making an excuse for a day,

like really going all in for 60 days straight and that consistency, that's going to be my challenge, I think, you know, and because I screwed that up last time, you know, I fell off for a day. And so, um, just being, uh, just honoring the consistency and also building my awareness, not just doing the activity. Like I said, that's the easy part, but the, the real work is when we just take an honest look in the mirror and then just be like, why the hell did I do that? You know, or why am I thinking that? And so I'm really looking forward to just building some more awarenesses about myself and just finding more ways that I can just, you know, push in the direction of discomfort,

lean into it a little bit more, and then just see what's going on inside here. Cool. Love it. Well, I appreciate you for being here, for sharing, for being authentic, for telling the parts where you have screwed up and being honest. We'll do at least a couple question answer sessions again

this last one, because a lot of people got a lot from it. Like I got so many messages. People reached out to me after we did that Facebook Live in the Iron Mind 60, and they're like, I've never heard conversations like that. Because I think, you know, as you grow with, with people, your conversations get crazier and

more, I mean, stuff we were watching last night about, you know, the history of the universe. It's, it's some deep stuff, right? When you start diving into it. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta be really open-minded. Um, so I appreciate you for doing it for being here for letting letting us record inside of your office it's uh the last time that you'll be here before you guys move dean's also moving during the iron mind 60 challenge so that's like the perfect excuse that you could just have to not get in but you love the excuse so you're gonna push through it anyway so um yeah it's like if anybody's ever moved an entire house and they have a lot of stuff that has to be done, like we're talking about the floors being ripped up yesterday and all of this different stuff and,

you know, having to rent a, a jackhammer and all this stuff. It's like, you got, you got a lot of uncomfortable stuff coming up. So appreciate you for finding the time and for doing it anyways. Appreciate you, brother. Thank you for having me. For sure.