The Mindset Mentor - Ep 19 - Believe in Yourself

Episode Date: October 2, 2015

Believing in yourself is the first step on your road to success. You must believe in yourself before anyone else will. In this episode we speak about the importance of self talk as well as three steps to help you believe in yourself if you don't at the moment. We will also talk about something called "The Funeral For I Can't" Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Psst, hey, do you want a free motivational e-book called Hack Your Goals, a Step-by-Step Guide to Achieving Success? Go to mwfmotivation.com and download it for free like hundreds of other people already have. Okay, now I'll get you back to the podcast. Welcome to the MWF Motivation Podcast, which I am proud to say has been rated the number one podcast in iTunes new and noteworthy in six different categories, including self-help and business. And as the

podcast designed to help you grow into the best version of yourself in 10 to 20 minutes, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we'll take a life topic, break it down, discuss it, and leave you with thoughts to impact your life and mind. My name is Rob Dial and the podcast starts now. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the MWF Motivation Podcast. My name is Rob Dial and I'm excited to bring you this episode on this beautiful Friday. And just in case you haven't subscribed, if you are a listener or if this is your first time, or if you love this show and you haven't subscribed, make sure to subscribe to us on iTunes or Stitcher or SoundCloud, however you get us, so you don't ever miss any motivation

from MWF Motivation, which comes out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And if you love this episode, please share it with a friend. I can't express enough gratitude to you guys for sharing the message and all the great emails that I've gotten and Facebook messages that I've gotten and LinkedIn messages that I've gotten of people and how much they love the show and how much they're spreading the word. So if you love it, please continue to do so. We're trying to change the world one person at a time here. So today what we're going to talk about is the first step and probably one of the most, if not the most important step on your journey to success and becoming the person that you want to become. And that is to believe in yourself. And it sounds stupid. It sounds corny. It sounds cliche. I get it. But

we have to believe in ourself before we do anything. It is the actual first step. You have to believe in yourself before anybody else can believe in yourself. And believing in yourself is a choice. I want you to realize that it's not a product of what you think you are or what you have or what you've done in the past. It's not a product of what people have told you, if you're stupid or if you're ugly or if you're fat or what they've told you about, you know, what they think of you in the past or what you tell yourself, you know, none of think of you in the past or what you tell yourself, you know, none of that stuff matters. If you didn't grow up with, you know, supportive parents or you had a horrible past, you know, whatever it is, the past is the past. You know, you need to make the decision right now to believe in yourself because it's either you believe in yourself and

you go on the path that you want to and live the life that you want to, or you stay on the path that you are now, which if you're listening to this might not be the path that you want to. You might want to, you know, you probably listen to this because you want to break off and become the person that you know you can become. You know, everyone, every famous or successful person that you look up to, they have their doubts. They have their self-doubts. But the thing that you want to to, they have their doubts. They have their self doubts. But the thing that you want to realize is that they don't live there. They don't live

in their doubts. You can't control your first thought, but you can always control your second. So if you have those self doubts, the things that come up into your mind, let them be there for a second, immediately kick him out and start replacing it with what I'm going to call I can's and I am's, which you'll hear about in just a little while. But modern research actually shows that with enough positive self-talk, visualization, coaching, and practice, anybody can learn almost anything. And I'm going to cover this in another episode, talent, because talent is just a BS word that's made up. Nobody's born talented in anything.

Talent is grown. So you can do anything that you want, but you have to study, you have to practice, and you have to work your freaking tail off. And that's the formula for becoming successful in anything. But before you do all of that, you have to believe in yourself. What you believe is completely up to you. You know, once you believe that you are something and you truly believe it and you tell yourself, you embody that something.

If you look in the mirror and you tell yourself, you know, I can achieve whatever I want and you look in yourself in the eye and you say, I can achieve whatever I want. I can achieve whatever I want. And you keep saying it and you keep saying, and you keep saying it, you will eventually start to believe it. You have to start with positive self-talk in order to start believing in yourself. You know, if you're a writer or you want to be a writer, you know, I would say, look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, you know, maybe in the afternoon and then at night, but at least every single morning and every single night and say to yourself, I am a great writer. I am a great writer. I am a great writer. And look at yourself in the mirror and say it 10 times, say it 20 times, say it 30 times, say it a great writer. I am a great writer. And look at yourself in the mirror and say it 10 times,

say it 20 times, say it 30 times, say it a hundred times every single day. And you will start to believe and hold yourself to that. And you will start to believe in yourself. I am a great writer. I am a great writer. Not I can become a great writer. You are a great writer.

You have something and you've been through something in your life and your life has been different than every other person's. You have something and you've been through something in your life and your life has been different than every other person's. You have something to give in this world that nobody else in this world has to give. So I want you to make sure that you realize what you tell yourself 10 times, 20 times, 30 times, 100 times. I am a great writer. I'm a great musician.

I'm a great songwriter. Whatever it is that you want and you want to be, tell yourself, I am blank, whatever that is. One of the keys is to remove the phrase, I can't. Completely remove the phrase, I can't from your vocabulary. That phrase does nothing but harm and is the beginning of all self-limiting beliefs. Don't ever say I can't. You know, what you say and what you think, all of that stuff affects your body and affects your mind and it affects the world that you completely create around you. So never say that I can't.

One thing I used to do with my reps when I was a sales manager for, you know, a few hundred people was we would have something that I called the funeral for I can't. And it's going to sound corny. I understand, but believe me, it works. If you've ever been to a funeral before, and then it doesn't seem, it doesn't really seem final that that person has died until the funeral is actually over. So you need to have a funeral for I can't. And what you do is you take a sheet of paper, you take a pen, and you write down, I can't blank, whatever it is, every single I can't that you can think of. I can't be successful. I can't make $100,000 in a year. I can't become a successful painter or musician or writer. I can't be a good parent. I can't

become a millionaire. I can't find the perfect job. I can't find the perfect mate. I can't be happy. I can't whatever it might be. You write it down and you make the list as long as you possibly can. You go through this entire list. You read it one last you make the list as long as you possibly can, right? You go through this entire list, you read it one last time, and then what you do is you take a lighter and you burn that SOB and you have a little ceremony for yourself and you never use the words, I can't again. And it sounds silly, but it creates closure in your brain. And that side of you, the I can't side of you is now dead. The only side that exists is the I can side. And that's the one that you want to have in order to be successful.

So the couple of tips that I'm going to give you to, I would say that I think it's three tips that I'm going to give you to start believing in yourself. Number one is be okay with trying and failing. You know, failure, not being perfect, mistakes, not having people agree with you. These are not negative things. All of these things are positive. Failure is positive. How is failure positive? It's the only way that we truly learn. You cannot learn, you know, how to become a better basketball player until you miss a lot of shots. You miss most of them. You recalibrate after each and every one. And, you know, you get better every single time. You have to fail. You have to miss a lot of shots in order to become a great basketball player. So the best way to learn something is to study it a bit,

try it, practice, make mistakes, and then learn some more and then keep trying. Mistakes are just pieces of feedback on how we can improve every single time. So push past the discomfort and grow by being okay with trying and failing. Go out with the intention of failing and being okay with failure. The reason why most people don't do anything is because of their fear of failure.

So make sure that you are okay with trying and failing. Failure, failure, that's a real weird way to say it. Failure is a very positive thing and you need to think of it that way in your brain. So that's tip number one. Tip number two, learn to trust yourself. So go into situations not knowing and be okay with that. Learn through repeated attempts. Know, like I said, that it's okay to fail. Be okay in failure through, you know, trusting yourself that you're going to get better each time that you try. So learn to trust yourself. Learn to know that you don't know now, but you might know after you fail

a few times. You know, be careful also of the little voice inside your head, you know, the voice that taunts you whenever you set a goal and it criticizes you. And, you know, when life gets difficult and it beats you down and when you struggle and stand up, you know, it's the one that tries to kick you back down again. And, you know, it's the little bit of self-doubt that bothers you. It's sneaky. And, you know, you can't contain it all the time. It'll slip past and slip into your mind. But make sure, like I said, that you control the second thought. So learn to trust yourself.

Be okay with not knowing stuff. Be okay with, you know, going into a situation uncertain that's out of your comfort zone, knowing that you'll learn and grow and become better on the other side of that. You know, most people, they don't do something because they're unsure or they stop themselves before they even try because they're afraid of what might happen. They are afraid of failing.

And like I said in the first step, failure is a positive thing. Become okay with that. Give yourself permission to try, to fail, to try again. And the last tip that I want to give you to believing in yourself is be aware of how you speak to yourself. You know, be aware of how you speak to yourself. And I will say that this is something I struggle with because I'm such a perfectionist. If you probably heard in the last episode and talk about being vulnerable, that I feel like I hold myself to a higher standard than most people do. So I, you know, sometimes getting the right raw mess up

and I'll be like, dang, you were so stupid. How the hell could you possibly do that? Like you completely messed up. Like you are better than that. You should hold yourself to higher standard. And I, that's the way that I've, I've gotten used to talking to myself. And we need to be aware of how we speak to ourselves. And this is what you need to think about. This is a tip that I got that I think is incredible. The way you speak to yourself, you know, why do we speak to ourselves the way that we do? Would you speak to yourself, you know, the way you speak to yourself, would you speak to somebody that you really love the same way? You need to learn to speak to yourself the way you would speak to somebody that you love. So for instance, you know, if your goal was to write a thousand words today and you got to 200 words, you didn't hit your goal. And I know in my case, if my goal is to

hit a thousand words and I get to 200, I would be like, man, you screwed up. Today was a complete failure. You know, what is the problem? Get your stuff together. You're screwing it up. If you want to be successful, you're going to have to figure out a way to write 1800 words tomorrow. And, you know, think of it this way. If somebody that you love, their goal was to, you know, they called you, you know, tonight at, you know, eight o'clock and they said, listen, you know, Rob, I, uh, I just got to get something off my chest. My goal was to write a thousand words today. And I only wrote 200. You know, what, what would I say to that person? Would I be like, what? Your goal is to write a thousand and wrote 200? Get your crap together. Like you suck. Like, what is the point of you doing it? Like you need to get it together. Like you wouldn't go off and start yelling at that person. What you would say, someone that you really love is you would say,

Hey, listen, you got 200 words. That's awesome. Like you're at least making progress. Maybe tomorrow you'll do better, but you're progressing at least. I believe in you and I know that you can do it. That's what you would say to somebody that you truly love. So why don't you speak to yourself that way? You know, that is, that is what I want to leave you with is, is be aware of how you speak to yourself. And that's the, the, one of the last two tips that I'm going to give you. So, you know, be aware of how you speak to yourself. Be aware of how you, how you say stuff inside of your own head that nobody else can hear. Speak to yourself the way that you would speak to someone that you love, someone that you're really close with.

You know, if you start to get down on yourself and have that negative self-talk, immediately turn it around and think about how positive what you did is. You might not have hit your goal, but you made progress. And that's a positive thing. And you need to be aware of how you speak to yourself. Speak to yourself as if you are speaking to somebody that you love and you are trying to support and have them get better and help them get better. So that is the third tip. I guess this is kind of out of order.

I gave you the three tips, but that is also the first of the last two tips because I always leave you with the exact same tip at the end. And besides the be aware of how you speak to yourself and positive self-talk, the last thing I'm going to leave you with, as always, every single time that we speak or I speak to you, make it your mission today to make somebody else's day better. I really appreciate all the support and all of the sharing with friends and all the subscribers and all of

the thousands of downloads that we're getting a day. If you like this episode, please share it with somebody else. Thank you so much. Have an amazing day. And so that is it. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you like what you hear, please share with a friend. Spread the love if you think it's something they could benefit from. If you want the show notes from today, you can get it at mwfmotivation.com, which is also where you can download our free ebook, which is called Hack Your Goals, The Step-by-Step Process to Achieving Success. And if you want to keep in touch with us,

you can follow us on Facebook or Instagram. Both of those are at MWF motivation. And if you like what we have, please subscribe to us on iTunes, Stitcher or SoundCloud, because we make it our mission to give you as much valuable stuff as possible. But thank you so much again for listening. And I hope you have an amazing day.