The Mindset Mentor - Ep 24 - The Five Regrets of the Dying

Episode Date: October 14, 2015

In this episode we dive into the book "The Five Regrets of the Dying." We speak about each regret and what we can learn from each in order to make sure we don't look back and have any regrets when our time finally comes to leave this world. Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Psst, hey, do you want a free motivational e-book called Hack Your Goals, a Step-by-Step Guide to Achieving Success? Go to mwfmotivation.com and download it for free like hundreds of other people already have. Okay, now I'll get you back to the podcast. Welcome to the MWF Motivation Podcast, which I am proud to say has been rated the number one podcast in iTunes new and noteworthy in six different categories, including self-help and business, and is a

podcast designed to help you grow into the best version of yourself in 10 to 20 minutes. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we'll take a life topic, break it down, discuss it, and leave you with thoughts to impact your life and mind. My name is Rob Dial, and the podcast starts now. Welcome to the MWF Motivation Podcast. This is Rob Dial. And today what we're going to be going over is the five regrets of the dying. This is a great book. And if you have not subscribed to us yet, please do so on iTunes, Stitcher, SoundCloud, however you listen to us. And if you have not followed us yet on Facebook, you can look us up at MWF space

motivation and like us on Facebook so you don't miss any stuff from us. So the book that I'm talking about, The Five Regrets of the Dying, is a book from a woman who cared, actually was a nurse for people who are terminally ill. And over an eight-year period, she started to notice some very common regrets that these people had. And it's a great book. And I wanted to go through it so we can kind of learn from some of the mistakes, I guess you could say, that other people have had throughout their lives. So the first one and the most common one that she noticed people had was that, I wish I had the courage to live a life that was true to myself

and not the life that others expected of me. So most people, they live their lives and they just want to fit in. So they do exactly what they feel like they're supposed to do. And they don't really follow their passions because they're too afraid of what others may think or what others may say about them following their passions. So the main regret is not living a life that was true to themselves. And isn't that crazy that we allow what others think of us to come in the way of what we truly want? I mean, if you really think about it, we have one life and we are floating on a tiny little rock

through an infinite amount of space with billions of stars and planets and all kinds of other crap that's out there. And we let the opinions of other people matter what we do with this one life that we live. If you really think about it that way, it's freaking crazy that we allow other people's opinions of us dictate what we do with the one life that we get to live. And she speaks about in this book, she speaks about a lady named Grace. Before she passed away,

In this book, she speaks about a lady named Grace. Before she passed away, she says that she regretted that she didn't live the life that she felt that she should have. And she said before she passed away, Grace said to her, quote unquote, live true to your own heart. Don't ever worry about what others think. Promise me that before I die. So she said to her, live true to your own heart. Don't ever worry about what others think. Promise me that before I die. And that was some of the last words that she had said to the author. So what can we learn from that? We need to learn that we need to live our lives on our terms. If people don't like it, to hell with them. What does it matter? You know, it's like I said, some will, some won't. So what? Who's next?

Who cares what other people think of us? Their opinions should not matter to us. What matters is that you are doing exactly what you want to do with the one life that you get to live. And it's exactly like the, you know, if you have some type of passion or something that you're always thinking about or something that's always in the back of your mind and you haven't had the courage yet to do it, it's like the quote says, if you can't stop thinking about it, don't stop working for it. So what can we learn from it? Follow our passions and not worry about other people's opinions. So

that's the first regret. The second regret is I wish I hadn't worked so hard. And obviously for me, I talk about how working hard is one of the only ways to become successful. But a lot of this obviously makes sense because she says a lot of this were the men that were saying this to her. And although, like I said, I do speak a lot about working hard towards your dreams, there definitely needs to be balance in here as well. She speaks about a man who worked really hard for 15 years at a company, working to save up his money for his retirement so that he could travel with his wife. That was his goal. And he said that his wife waited patiently for him. And it's one of the saddest stories because at the end of the 15 years, he was like, well,

I think I'm just going to work one more year and make sure that I have enough money saved for us to retire and travel. So his poor wife, you know, he figured he had worked 15 years. What's one more year? His poor wife waited and she's like, okay, we'll do it. We'll wait one more year before we go travel. And she waited her whole life and his whole life waiting for him to finally retire so that she could finally enjoy him. And three months before that final year was over, she died. life and his whole life waiting for him to finally retire so that she could finally enjoy him.

And three months before that final year was over, she died and he never got to travel with his wife. And he talks about how he was filled with grief because all she wanted was just time with him and she never really got it. And I got to share the quote with you of what he says. He's quoted saying this. He says, I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I was a damn fool. I worked too damn hard. And now I'm a lonely dying man. You know, I chased closing the deal and it became addicting to me. This wonderful woman waited so patiently for me to retire.

And now I sit here dying and see that all that really matters is that we just need to be good people. And that's more than enough in life is just to be a good person. Why do we depend so much on the material world to validate us? It is the chase for more and the need to be recognized through our achievements and belongings that hinder us from the real things in life. Like times with the ones that we love, time doing things that we love to do. There's really nothing wrong with loving what you do, but now what I see is that it's all really about balance. So that's what he's quoted saying. So what can we learn from this? You know, it's okay to love what you do. It's okay to work hard for what you're passionate about,

but we have to have balance. We have to have balance between what we're passionate about, what we want to work for, and the other things that matter in life, the people that matter in life, doing the things that we love. And also, we don't want to just work hard for material things. Never let those things be the drivers in your life, the new cars and the new houses and the new phones, because advertising is always going to be there telling you that you need this and you need this and you need this, but it's really not what you need. What we need is the relationships and the passions and the things that we love to do. It's like one of my favorite quotes in Fight Club.

He says, advertising has us chasing cars and clothes and working jobs that we hate so we can buy stuff that we don't need to impress people that we don't like. So that's the second regret is not to work so hard. The third regret was that I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. And she gives an example of a man who she took care of that was a Holocaust survivor. And at the end of his life, he was sad because he never really let anybody in. And he just kept his armor up all the time. And he was regretting at the end of his life, he was sad because he never really let anybody in. And he just kept his armor up all the time. And he was regretting at the end of his life because he felt like his own wife and his own kids never even really knew who he was. And he regretted never really being vulnerable with them and letting his true self out.

And we can learn a lot about this. And I won't go too in depth on this one because I went very, very in depth on the power of vulnerability in episode 17 and embracing vulnerability in episode 18. That was another book that I read and there was so much information I had to split into two episodes. So as far as expressing your true feelings and becoming vulnerable with people, if you want to listen to those episodes, go back to episodes 17 and 18. I go completely in depth on those. So that's number three is expressing their true feelings was not expressing their true feelings was a large regret. Number four was that I wish I stayed in touch with my friends. That was another regret that people had. The author had a lot of people that towards the end of their lives started to realize that they worked too hard and they lost touch with their friends and the people who really

mattered the most in their lives. And at the end of their lives, they were lonely and realized that they let people slip away. And, you know, they regretted not keeping in touch and letting everyday life, you know, and trying to get ahead in life and buy new things come between them and the relationships that they have built over the years. So what can we learn with this? What can we learn? We need to stay in touch with people who matter and not let everyday work and everyday life and all of the being busy get in the way of the relationships and the things that really matter and the people that really matter in our life. So what can we learn from this? let me ask you this. Who's a friend that you miss that you haven't seen in a while?

You know, someone that you really wish that you were still close with. You know, what you should do today is try to reach out to them and find some time to talk to them and work on becoming close again. Because that was one of the top five regrets of people who are dying. And the last one, the number five regret was that I wish I let myself be happier. So she was coming to, she was seeing all these people come to the end of their lives and they were regretting not being happy and just living in the moment and allowing themselves to be happier. And this one can be challenging because with advertisements constantly telling us that we're not good enough, that we're not smart enough, that we're not thin enough or pretty enough. And our cars and houses are not new enough and our houses aren't

big enough. And it's easy to not feel like we're ever enough. And we must just learn to allow ourselves to be happy. And the great thing about happiness is that it is a choice. And that's not some BS, lofty, fairy dust sprinkling phrase that I'm just throwing out to you guys of, oh, happiness is a choice. It really, really is a choice. And we can allow ourselves to be happy by becoming grateful for what we do have and the people that we do have in our lives and stop concentrating on what we don't have. So the key to becoming happy with anything is to be grateful for what we already do have and realizing that what we have is enough and learning to talk to ourselves

positively and love ourselves through positive self-talk and learning to let go of the past because we can't change anything in the past. But what we can do is we can learn from it and be happy with where we are and make a better life from where we are to where we want to go and learn from the mistakes we've made in the past. So to wrap up the top five things that I wanted to go over, the five regrets of the dying. Number one, I wish I had the courage to live a life that was true to myself and not the life that others expected of me. Number two was that I wish I wouldn't have worked so hard. Number three was that I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. Number four,

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. And number five, I wish I would have allowed myself to be happier. So think about those things as you go through today. Think about how you can take those and improve your life so that by the time you get to the end, you're not regretting the happier. So think about those things as you go through today. Think about how you can take those and improve your life so that by the time you get to the end, you're not regretting at the end of your life that you hadn't done certain things. And try to make a change today is the main thing that I'll tell you. And the second thing that I'll tell you, make it your mission today to make somebody else's day better. I really appreciate you listening. If you got value from this and you think somebody else will get value,

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