The Mindset Mentor - Ep. 8 - Self Respect & The Impostor Syndrome

Episode Date: September 7, 2015

"The only respect that matters is self respect"In this episode we talk about getting rid of your self limiting beliefs. We also speak about something called the "impostor syndrome" which is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the MWF Motivation Podcast. My name is Rob Dial, occasionally joined by my co-host Dean DeVries. And this is our podcast that comes out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. We compress a massive life topic into about 10 to 20 minutes to help you take control of your life, become the best version of yourself, and follow your passion. Buckle up, because the best version of yourself, and follow your passion. Buckle up, because the podcast starts now. Hello, Motivation Nation, and welcome to this episode of the MWF Motivation Podcast.

Dean DeVries here, coming at you live from Austin, Texas, with my good buddy and co-host Rob Dial. What's up man? Hey guys, how you doing? We are doing great. You are doing great and just so you know Motivation Nation, we are recording the second episode in a row because we are just fired up tonight and yeah actually, actually, it's 1130 at night. I got to catch a flight in like six hours, but he's leaving us. He's going back to Miami. Yeah, it's all good. So as always, again, we're going to start off with a quote. The quote today is about self-respect and about self-confidence. So here's the quote. The only respect that matters is self-respect. It's great. I think we have a lot to talk about.

Yeah. Do you want to go ahead and start us off with your thoughts? Yeah. I mean, I think self-respect and self-confidence have a lot to do or pretty much go hand in hand with each other. So one thing that we were talking about right before we got started is having confidence that whatever you're meant to do is what you can do at the highest capacity. In other words, don't have limiting beliefs about what you can accomplish. In other words, don't have limiting beliefs about what you can accomplish. There's this phenomenon, I guess, called the imposter syndrome, where when you look at yourself every morning in the mirror, what do you say?

Do you have feelings of fear or do you have feelings of empowerment? I know that when we first started this podcast, and to be honest, I mean, I still kind of have this, And I know that it's just it's just going to, it's just going to take time before it goes away. But you know, I look at myself in the mirror, I'm like, a podcaster? Really? I just never really looked at myself as somebody that would be doing a podcast. And I have doubts about myself and you know I like being authentic about that so hopefully it can inspire you to do what you feel is your purpose and I know that it's fulfilling for me but there's a lot of there's a lot of doubts that I have sometimes I go through

these these stages can you relate to that Rob yeah so I'll be kind of, yes. All right. So I can relate to it, but not, not in the podcasting sense. Um, the only reason I can relate to it in the, um, the musician sense, because we were just watching a thing by a guy named Ira glass, who, uh, was talking about how, when you find out what your passion is and you're really big into something, the reason why you're so big into it is because you have really good taste in what that thing is and your, whatever you're producing is not going to be as good as your taste is. So for instance, the, the, I'll use myself as an example cause it makes it easy.

The music I'm producing to somebody who is not as obsessed with music as I am. And I am obsessed with music. Anybody who knows me will actually tell you that. I am not satisfied with it because I have such a broad and rich taste in music that I'm not putting, I'm not making stuff that is as good as the people who I love to listen to. But I know that if I put time and effort into it, I can only get better. There's no way you can put hours and hours and hours into work of your craft and what you want to do and into your passion and not start getting results that make you better.

Now, as far as the podcast goes, I'll be honest with you, I never thought of myself as a podcaster. My old roommate used to listen to podcasts all the time. And I used to think it was really stupid, honestly. And it's crazy that I now run a podcast because I was like, he's so dumb. Like he walks around the house listening to podcasts on his phone as he's like, I mean, he would walk from like the laundry, you know, he's doing laundry and he would like listen to podcasts. And I was like, Oh man, that's some crazy stuff. And now that's literally all we do. And now I listen to podcasts all the time and I'm making one. But as far as do I think it could be

a successful podcast and do we have a lot to offer? I don't have any doubt in what we have to offer because personally, I don't know how Dean was. I was, by the time that we decided to make this podcast, I was like bursting at the seams to try to start talking and being with us being, you know, old sales managers, we had to motivate and talk to people. And, and it was something that I really missed doing. And it's kind of just like it needed, I needed to, I was bursting at the seams because I needed to start saying this stuff and start motivating people again, because I felt that we have so much value from putting six years of work into it.

We like pounded our craft of being sales managers for six years and in a non-cocky way we got really good at it. And a lot of people could value what we have to say and I will stop there because I have a lot more to say and I don't want to hog the mic time. Yeah, you're stealing my thunder, dude. But I will talk about the self-respect thing in a second. But Dean, go ahead and after what I just said. Yeah, no, I think what you said was great

and I love that you brought up that one video that we just watched because it's kind of like positive dissatisfaction because your ambition and the quality of your work are not equal, which is a good thing because you have an ambition or you have dreams of being better. And there's a certain taste that you have that's like, I want to get there, but that's not what I'm doing. And that, by the way, is usually the point where people give up, which is not healthy because everybody starts somewhere and everybody, anytime that you start something new, it's going to be a

little scary. It's normal to be a little nervous and it's normal to suck at it. But hopefully, you know, hopefully we're providing enough value where you don't think we suck. But you know, what I can tell you is that we're trying to be so much better and deliver so much value. And literally, it sounds crazy to some people, but Rob and I really believe that through this podcast and through impacting enough people, we can change the world. And I hope that you're that if the quality of your work is not where you want it to be or it's not where you would look at it and be like, wow, that is exactly what I need or that's exactly what I want to be producing. Don't worry about that. Keep working. It's okay to take imperfect action.

okay to take imperfect action. And that's, again, I mean, it's this is literally the story of us. And like this podcast is that we just got to the to the point where like, let's just record the damn thing. Because it's just going to take more time, more energy, and more practice to deliver the value that we ultimately want to deliver. And in the process, if we could help some people out, that's the only way that we're going to be able to change the world in our opinion. So I want to take a step back, though, and go back to the actual quote itself. I think the quote was, the only respect that matters is self-respect, right? And I want to not talk about necessarily, we did a good job of talking about people's passions and not being where they want to be. But I think that even before that, I think

the foundation is people respecting themselves. And it's a sad thing that a lot of people don't have self-respect and don't value themselves for what they're really worth and i want you to realize that everybody has a lot to offer wherever you are in your life you have a lot to offer because no one in this entire world has gone through what you have gone through so you have experiences that you can actually share and help other people through and i don't know what it is because I'm sitting in my living room with Dean looking at an empty room. It's just the two of us. And I hear my voice echoing off the walls because I don't know who's listening to us and who's not listening to us.

No, it's our microphone that's listening. Yeah. It's that little blue light right there. So it's crazy, but it saddens me. I guess I'm lucky because I was raised where my mom was able to say, you could do whatever you want, and not in a corny way, but she would say, you could do whatever you want, and I will support you, but you need to work your ass off for it. And I was actually just speaking about this this morning with my girlfriend where I remember being a kid when I was in basketball, and I was obsessed with basketball because I wanted to be in the NBA.

basketball and I was obsessed with basketball because I wanted to be in the NBA. But then I stopped growing at six foot one and was not as good as I thought I was. But I would put two to three hours a day into it every single day when I was a kid. And so I naturally just had to build up my self-respect for myself to believe that I could start doing these things. But a lot of people have been beat down by the world or they've been beaten down by people or they've been bullied on it. They've been picked on it. They've, they've just been beat up mentally and physically so much by this world that they don't, they have lost self-respect for themselves. And if we could use this podcast to inspire you to believe in yourself a little bit more than this podcast in every single hour that we're going to put in this podcast of, of planning, of recording, of planning, of recording,

of planning, of recording, of listening and trying to get better. If we impact one person to make themselves believe that they're a little bit better than I thought they were 20 minutes before they listened to it, it is 100% exactly what we started this podcast for. Oh, amazing. And something I just want to piggyback off of, because what you said was awesome about how the only reason why we have doubts about ourselves are because of things that have happened in the past. And you know what? Don't listen and don't care what other people think. The only thing that matters is you and the value that you bring to the world. And only you know that. So don't listen to what other people think. Don't remember experiences in such a way where you think that that's indicative of your future.

Because you know what you can bring. Deep down inside, you know. You just have to break through some of the mental governors and barriers and don't worry what other people think about you because ultimately, you're the person in control of your life and you're the person that's in control of what you release to the universe and what you release to the world. Yeah, and if you remember a podcast that should have been a few episodes before this, where we spoke with Jake Bailey on a weekend extra, he talks about the man in the arena, and he talks about how you shouldn't care about what other people think about you, because what people think about you is not your problem, it's their problem.

So it shouldn't affect you. And he talks about the quote of the, the man in the arena by Theodore Roosevelt, I think is what it was. And he talks about how people can be critics, but what does the critic have to say? What does it matter what the critic thinks? So for instance, if you're in a, if, if some, if somebody's, if you're a gladiator and you're sitting there and you're fighting in everyone, 70, 100,000 people are watching you. What does it matter what they think about you? They can't talk crap about you when they're not the person that's in the ring. They don't have the balls or the, the gonads or the,

the, the mental fortitude to, to walk into the ring and actually fight in battle. Oh yeah. It's totally easy for them to be like, oh, well he should have done that better, she should have done that better. Right, exactly. So no one can make you feel a certain way without your consent. I think, actually, speaking of Theodore Roosevelt, I think that was Eleanor Roosevelt's quote was, no one can make you mad without your consent or something along those lines. But it's true. What someone thinks about you should really not affect you because it's what they think about you what you think about yourself should be the only thing that really matters so self-respect is the only respect that actually matters because if you could keep your self-respect and you can keep your mental fortitude then that's all that matters because that's going to be able to keep you pushing on and driving towards your ultimate goal and purpose.

Can we just like put the song R-E-S-P-E-C-T? I don't know what it means to me. So, all right. Well, I think that pretty much wraps it up, man. Do you have any other things to add? I just think that people just need, if we're going to summarize at the end of this, I think that more than anything else, just realize that if you're not where you want to be that's fine it's more about the journey than it is the destination and don't give up because the only reason why people give up or

the only point in which people give up is that point where they lose confidence in themselves because the quality of their work or what they're producing is not the expectation or not what your what your taste is or what your ambition is. The ambition is what matters. The next thing that matters is the work that you put into it, not what you're doing right now. Yeah, so that would be the first part. And the second part is self-respect, which the original quote, the only respect that matters is self-respect, is realize that if you don't have confidence in yourself, you are capable of doing more than you could possibly understand. And you have so much worth to give to other people and you've been through experiences that nobody else has been through. through experiences that nobody else has been through. So what I want you to realize about that is that you have so much to give the world and to hold it back and to not give it out to the world

and to not live out your purpose. Selfish. Would be selfish and it would be a waste. And just remember that every time that you're trying to work towards your ultimate goal. Motivation Nation, you are amazing. Thank you so much for listening. Join us next time on the next episode of MWF Motivation. And so that is it. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you like what you hear, please share with a friend. Spread the love if you think it's something they could benefit from. If you want the show notes from today, you can get it at MWFMotivation.com,

which is also where you can download our free ebook, which is called Hack Your Goals, The Step-by-Step Process to Achieving Success. And if you want to keep in touch with us, you can follow us on Facebook or Instagram. Both of those are at mwfmotivation. And if you like what we have, please subscribe to us on iTunes, Stitcher or SoundCloud because we make it our mission to give you as much valuable stuff as possible. But thank you so much again for listening and I hope you have an amazing day. Outro Music