The Mindset Mentor - Ep 9 - Your Network Determines Your Net Worth

Episode Date: September 9, 2015

"Surround yourself with people who dream bigger than you do."In this episode we talk about the importance of your surrounding yourself with the right people who will push and encourage you to your goals. We go over your "Top 5" and also go over the best ways to network to build up your circle of influence. Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the MWF Motivation Podcast. My name is Rob Dial. I am occasionally joined by my co-host, Dean DeVries. And growing up, our moms always told us that we had the perfect faces for radio. So here we are with our own podcast that comes out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And we compress a massive life topic into about 10 to 20 minutes to help you take control of your life and mind, become the best version of yourself, and follow your passion. Buckle up, because the podcast starts now.

Hello, Motivation Nation. Welcome again to this episode of the MWF Motivation Podcast. Thanks so much for joining me. This is Dean DeVries coming at you live from Austin, Texas with Rob Dial. What's up, man? Hey, Dean. How you doing? Doing good. This is our third podcast in one night. We're just on fire tonight, Motivation Nation, so I hope you're ready. We can't stop. Got your seatbelts on. If you're driving right now, you may want to pull over because this is going to be an

episode that rocks your socks. You ready to dive in? Let's do it. Cool. So the quote that we're going to be talking about tonight or today is, it's tonight over here. It's actually this morning. It's I think it's actually this morning. That's true. It's 1209 a.m. Oh, actually, my flight's pretty soon. Can

you give me a ride to the airport? No. All right. OK, I'll just get a cab. Thanks. Happy Easter. Today is actually Easter now. Yep. Which by the time you listen to this, it may be three or four months from Easter or maybe six weeks. Who knows? But we'll see. So the quote is, surround yourself with people who dream bigger than you do. Obviously, this is all about your network. Your net worth is determined by your network. That's another quote that I just wanted to throw in there. But anyway, I'll let you just kind of take it off, Rob, and see and talk about what, you know, what your thoughts are on that. Yeah. So the quote, surround yourself with people who dream bigger than you do, I think is a great quote because I love a lot of the

friends that I have and a lot of the people I surround myself with. But some people can probably relate. There's some people that you need to take out of your network or just hang out with them in a social casual aspect. And the reason why I say that is because the friends you surround yourself with, you don't, if they're friends and they're good people, you don't want to get rid of them obviously, but it's, you need to know your top i mean we were at a we were at a conference not too long ago dean and i were and uh it was hal elrod who is awesome he's got a great book called the miracle morning check it out it's amazing just literally changes lives not not getting paid to say this we just love hal's book it's it's awesome the miracle morning so and they said you need to determine your top five.

And they said, imagine that it's like back in the MySpace days where you had your top eight. And they said, pick your top five people that you need to surround yourself with. And those are the top five people that you need to spend the most time with. And you need to literally make a list of people, find out who are the people you should spend the most time with. So it's like all of the people that you're close with, all of the people that you're semi-close with, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, and find out who those top five people are and find out who you need to spend more time with, who you should, you know, who you might not have been spending a whole lot of time with, but you know, they have a lot of value to add to your life and you have a lot of value to add to their life and start reaching out to them and hanging

out with them more. And there's some people that you probably have in your life who could be great people, but you need to spend a little bit less time with them in order to make room for some of the other people in your top five. And that's a great point, by the way, I just said not to interrupt you, but I just wanted to talk about that. It's important to list all the people that are in your network. And, you know, I mean, it's, it's important to identify what value they bring to your life and where you want to go in your life and what, what purpose you want to live for your life. So, you know, there, there's a, like there's, there's friends that I know that, you know, that are kind of like my, my party friends that, party friends that I'll go out and grab a drink with, but I won't necessarily talk to them about where want to surround yourself with only the best people that are going to bring you to where you want to be

in the next year or the next three years or five years, whatever that timeline might be. But either way, you are the average of those people. So get into the network of people that that you want to be like and that you want to assimilate. And that's going to be one great way to really help you get to that next level and to be where you want to be. So one of the reasons why I think Dean and I talk as much as we do, because Dean lives in Miami, I live in Austin, Texas, and we talk a lot. And one of the reasons why I think we talk a lot is because we're on the same level of where we are right now in our lives, but also where we want to be in our lives.

Same vision. We have the same vision of where we want to be. And where we are is not where we want to be. And we both understand that. Positive dissatisfaction. That's correct. That's exactly where we are. So to surround yourself with these people.

And here's what's good about it, though, is we were actually talking about earlier today how I need to start going to more networking groups. And I've gone to quite a few lately, but we're also talking about how Dean in Miami needs to go to more networking groups because there's great people in Austin, really good networks in Austin, really great people to meet. And you have to go out there obviously and put yourself on the line to meet these people. But then also, if you think about Miami, there's great people there as well. They're super successful people or great people having a network and that he needs to go out and meet more people as well. So we're talking about how, you know, we should use meetup.com for different things that we have in common with other people and how we want to go out. And one of the key things is that people who you should surround yourself with might not even be in your top five

right now but you might find them and if you put yourself on a line which is one of the hardest things to do and go to a networking group and go to find these types of people they could become people that are in your top five and people that you want to surround yourself with because in all honesty, meetup.com and those types of things are where you're going to find the people who are most likely to be into the type of stuff that you're into intellectually. And, you know, like Dean said, you might have the social friends, which we all have the social friends, which are great people and good to be around and go out and hang out with and you know go get a drink and have some some surface level conversations with but if you're like me and if

you're like dean and a lot of people i know we like to get into very intellectual conversations which we feel we're getting value from and adding value to and those types of people you want to be able to meet and get around. And a quick book recommendation, by the way, is Fierce Conversations. Who's the author again? I always forget.

Fierce Conversations is all about taking your conversations to the next level and not being so surface level. But yeah, I mean, Rob brought up a good point is that the reality is that people are everywhere but you wanna put yourself in places that will give you the best chance of meeting the types of people that are gonna be,

and not in a selfish way. You don't wanna be like, oh, well, I'm only gonna hang out with people that are gonna benefit me. You don't wanna do that because then it just comes across as like, well, nobody's really gonna wanna hang out with you. I could always tell those people too, like, oh, well, you know, I don't know anything about your industry. So I'm not, I'm really not going

to, you know, focus on developing a relationship with you when that's not the way to go about it. You should go about it in such a way where it's like, hey, I really want to genuinely know about you and learn about you and see how I can help you. And hey, if you end up helping me in return, that's always a bonus. Because the more you give, the more you get. So I think that the meetup.com and I mean, even just like, you know, little things like, you know, joining a sport or, you know, sporting league or something like that. Or, you know, little things like, you know, joining a sport or, you know, sporting league or something like that. Or, you know, there's great, great networking groups. And I mean, there's just all different types of you can even meet somebody, you know, at

the bar that, you know, that's, you know, just hanging out with some people and just go talking to them and saying, Hey, so you know, what's, let's, let's develop a relationship if they seem like somebody that has that level of thinking that you do, and have the same ambitions and the same taste of a future that you do, then that's somebody that you should continue to connect with. And that's what it's all about, I think. Right? I mean, you know, you could always tell. I mean, at least me, I'm sure most people can, is when you start talking with somebody, you can kind of tell, you know, where their future is going or where they anticipate their future going or the vision that they have for themselves.

Can you relate to that at all, Rob? Yeah, no, I definitely can. And one thing that I want to bring up is actually something that I heard from another podcast. And to be honest with you, I listen to so many podcasts, I don't know which one it was. But it was talking about networking. And Dean said something about not going to a networking group and trying to figure out what someone can do for you. One of the key things to this, there's a guy who runs a really successful networking group of very, very successful people that are in New York City. And he actually writes down and has like a specific...

Is that the watch group? No, no, no, no. But it's just some specific group. I can't remember what it is, but I read an article about him and he popped up on a podcast and stuff. And one of the things that he says is there's two steps that you want to make sure that you always have in networking. And the first one is to try to add value. And the second thing is to make sure that you build credibility. credibility. And so what that means is this. So when you're speaking with someone that you're just meeting, you want to try to add value to whatever they're doing. So whatever they do, you want to try to figure out how you might be able to possibly help them. And then as far as the credibility goes is when you leave there and you have that person's card, then you connect them

with the people that you said they were going to connect them with. And here's the deal. You don't try to get anything from these people. You try to help them out. And when you try to help people out, naturally in return, they want to help you out as well. It all goes back to what you give is what you get. Right, exactly. And the thing that's great about it is that when you start to build that credibility and you start to be very selfless, people want to help you out and go out of their way to help you out in that sense. So they said, you know, instead of just going straight into a networking group and thinking of, you know, this person's not in my industry, this person doesn't do what I do. This is a waste of the, you know, five minutes of this quick conversation with them.

Think of how you can help them out. Think of how you can build credibility and who you can connect them with in your network. And eventually that will come around in return to help you out. Because once you help somebody out, they kind of have the feeling that, man, I just feel like such a big thing in our society that we don't really talk about too often. But when you do something for somebody, at least when somebody does something for me, I sort of feel obliged to do something for them. And even though, again, what we're talking about is not going into any sort of relationship with that mentality that you're going to get something in return. But if you can live a life of selflessness and you can live a life of just giving and really just focused on building relationships with great people and finding the joy in that versus what you can get

from the relationship, that right there is the meaning of life and the meaning of relationships. And really, you know, the material things in our life, the TVs, the cars, the houses, whatever, those are all temporary. And those are all things that are just not meaningful because at any split second, those things can be gone. Whether it be because somebody lost it due to a financial hardship or because of like an earthquake or like natural disaster where it just wiped it out physically. The only thing that really matters is the relationships that you have with people. really matters is the relationships that you have with people. So if you focus on being as selfless as possible, and developing those relationships, and not thinking about so much what you can get in return, those those are the relationships that are are going to be most fruitful. But how can you focus on the the what you can what you can provide and what value you can give. That's going to be the number one key to

really building the type of network you want. And again, you're the average of the top five people that you spend the most time with. So how can you, in your life, allocate most of your time, most of your resources, and most of your selflessness to develop those relationships? Yeah. And one thing that I do want to cover is that Dean said is being selfless. And admittedly, it is very hard sometimes to be selfless because I don't know if it's just the animal instinct from us where we're just, we, we need to survive and we need to figure out, you know, how is this going to benefit us in order for survival? But one thing that you always want to constantly think about is, is putting value and selflessness and adding value and trying to

help as many people as you possibly can. Because when you build a network of giving, you're eventually going to get a return. And it might not be right away. And it might take a couple of times where you have to add value to someone else and add value to someone else. But I have the feeling that whatever you add to somebody else, it will eventually come in return. And hell, it might not even come from that person,

right? But you like, say for instance, you have person A and you might give them two or three referrals and they might give you one of person, someone, you know, whatever it might be, they might give you one referral. Let's give that as an example. But you might have person, I don't even know if I'm, did I say person A? I think we're on person C. I don't even know. So if we had person A person A? I think we're on person C. I don't even know. So if we had person A and you give them four referrals, but they only give you one back, well, you might have person B

where you might give four referrals to as well, but they might give you 10 back. And I have the feeling that whatever you put out is eventually what you're gonna get back and what you're gonna get in from everyone else. Yeah, and to go back to the quote, to kind of wrap it up, surround yourself with people who dream bigger than you do. As far as building that network and building those people,

the great thing about it too, is when you surround yourself with people who dream bigger than you do, not less or not on the same level, but dream bigger, is that when they dream bigger and they tell you about their dreams and you have those great intellectual conversations, you will in turn start to dream bigger and your goals will become larger and then you will start to work harder for those goals. So let me take a step back and just put it in a monetary value, which might not be the best example, but it just makes it easier when I can quantify it this way. Say for instance, person A makes $50,000 a year and they become really good friends with person B whose dream is to make a million dollars a year and they're making,

you know, $200,000 a year. Well, person A is going to go, well, damn, person B's already making four times what I do and their goal is to make 20 times what I do, well then naturally they're going to go, damn, I need to make bigger goals and I need to start thinking bigger because I'm friends with this person and I see that they're a valuable person and I see that they have a lot to give, but they're just a normal person and I can be as good at least or close to as good as they can. So to quantify it, I make 50, person A says, I make $50,000 a year. I could probably make $200,000 a year

if this person's going for a million. So in a number sense, it makes sense to put it that way because when you surround yourself with people who dream big and want to do very big things and try to change the world and try to make things better, naturally yourself, you're going to start working harder and want to work harder because the people that you surround yourself with are thinking bigger as well. Like it's like the quote that we've used in podcasts in the past. You know, if you surround yourself with five

millionaires, you'll probably be the sixth. If you surround yourself with five alcoholics, you'll probably be the sixth. So the people that you surround yourself with in your top five are usually what you will end up becoming. And that's so true. I don't want to, and what we don't want to, you know, what we don't want to, we don't want to come across as like, this is all about money. Because to me, the best part about being a millionaire isn't about having the money but rather the journey and the things that I develop personally and the intrinsic value that I bring to myself and all the things that I need to become in order to be a millionaire. Those are the things that are valuable because money goes in and out. And that's, that's, that's something that is not always there, but the lessons that you learn and the, the person that you become to earn that type of, uh, that type of income or that type of money that will never leave you. So that's the number one goal, and that's the number one lesson from these things that we're talking about

is it's not about the money but rather the person that you need to become in order to have the byproduct, as an example, the money. Yeah, I think that and to piggyback off of what you said, it's not necessarily just about the money and the person that you become along the way, but I think that's a great thing, the person that you become. It's more about the journey than the destination, but it's also when you do have that money,

the difference you can make with that money, but also the freedom that that makes when you do have that money. So when you're making that type of money, you're able to have a lot more freedom. And I think that I don't think that money is the root of all evil. I think that the the greed and wanting it can be the root of all evil. I think that money creates freedom. And I think that everybody wants freedom from whatever it is that they're in. They want to have the freedom to be able to do whatever they want. They want to have the freedom to travel.

They want to have the freedom to give their kids a really good education. I think that money is able to do all of that. And if you look at it that way, it is something that helps you acquire freedom versus something that helps you acquire things, then I think it makes it a lot better in that sense. So I think that when you say becoming a millionaire and the journey to being there is a really good thing and that's what matters the most, I completely agree with that.

But I also think besides just the journey is what you can do and the freedom that it creates in order to become that millionaire and what you can do with that money once you do acquire it. That's a great point. Thanks, Rob. Appreciate it. And thank you, Motivation Nation, for tuning in. And as always, we're always focused on giving you the best possible value that we can. So any feedback that you have would be appreciated. But until next time, we'll see you. And so that is it. Thank you

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