The Mindset Mentor - Growing Yourself & The People Around You

Episode Date: October 8, 2021

Just like a flower, we need the right circumstance to grow into who we can become, as do the people who we love that are around us. In this episode, we are going to talk about your environment to see if it is beneficial for you and the ones that you want to support in their growth. Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dyle, and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you are out there and you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive motivational text messages from me, text me right now, 1-512-580-9305. Once again, 1-512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be talking about how to grow those that are around you and how to grow yourself. I'm going to teach you how to grow yourself, grow others around you, and create the most supportive environment that you can. And to start off, I want to give you a little bit of an analogy, okay? And this will make sense as we go through

today's episode. I want you to think about a seed. Have you ever stopped to actually think about how amazing a seed is? Like you can hold a little teeny tiny seed and within that seed, inside of it is so much potential for a massive, beautiful plant, beautiful tree. I mean, you could get from a tiny little seed, like a 20, 30 foot tree. It's pretty wild to think about. And it comes, all of the potential comes that little teeny tiny seed. Same with a flower. You can get this little teeny tiny seed in a beautiful sunflower. It's eight feet tall, can grow from it. So let's take that flower and use it as an example, okay? I want you to think of a gardener and I want you to think of a flower. I'm going to ask you a question. I

want you to see if you can come up with the answer. What is the gardener's job if he is trying to grow a flower? Have you ever thought about that? What's the gardener's job to grow a flower to become the biggest, most beautiful version of that flower. The gardener's job is to allow the seed to become what it is supposed to be. That's it. It's already got all of the potential inside of it. It's got everything that it needs inside of it. So his job is to give it the space to nurture it, to create space for it to bloom to as high its capacity by giving it the water that it needs, by giving it the sun that it needs, by giving it the air and the oxygen that it needs. But what happens if the flower doesn't get all of that? What happens if the flower doesn't get

all of the water that it needs? What happens if the flower doesn't get all of the sun that it needs, all of the air that it needs? Obviously, the flower is not going to grow to its full potential. If you give it less water, it is not going to grow to its full potential. If you give it less water, it's not going to grow to its full potential. If you give it less sun that it needs, it's not going to grow to its full potential. If you give it less air, it's not going to grow to its full potential. What if the gardener were to take a mason jar and flip it and put it on top of that flower as it's just starting to grow through the ground, what's going to happen? It's going to restrict its growth, right? It might be a weak flower. It might be an ugly flower. It might kill the leaves. It might even kill the flower, right? By putting a mason

jar and restricting the air, restricting the water, restricting the sun, it could actually kill the flower. So why do I say this? What the fuck does this have to do with anything? Well, let me tell you. His job or her job, the gardener's job is to nurture it. Nothing else. To nurture it and to create the best space that it possibly can for that flower to grow. Not to try to change the flower. Not to try to restrict the flower, but to nurture that flower. Now, think about this for a second. I want you to think of all of your relationships. First, we're going to talk about the other people in your life and how you, hopefully, are a gardener to them.

And then we're going to talk about you. We're going to talk about you with yourself. And we're also going to talk about you with other people in your life. So we think about other people in your life. We'll also talk about you with other people in your life. So we think about other people in your life. We'll also talk about the people who are in your life and if they are gardeners for you. So if you're in a relationship, you're a gardener. And I'm not talking just a relationship with a significant other. I'm in a relationship with every single person, your friends, your children, your spouse, your sister, brother, mother, father, aunt, uncle, friends.

When you're in a relationship with somebody, whatever that relationship looks like, you are a gardener. You're supposed to be a gardener. So how are you showing up for them? Are you nurturing? Are you watering? Are you giving them light? Are you helping those around you bloom to their fullest capacity? Your job in a relationship

with somebody else is to help the other grow. Not to what you want them to be, but what they were here, put here to become. Now think about that for a second. Let me say that again. Maybe this hits home with you for some of you guys that are parents. Maybe it hits home with you for someone that's in a relationship, a romantic relationship. Your job is not to change somebody. Your job is not to make somebody what you want them to be. Your job is to nurture them to grow into what they are here to become. Think about that for a second. Huh, interesting, isn't it? How many people

listening to this say me out loud if you've been in a relationship and you've tried to change that person? Say me out loud how many people have been in a relationship with somebody and you've tried to restrict them from being who they truly are because maybe they're too goofy, maybe they're too loud, maybe they're too obnoxious, maybe they're too flamboyant. Say me out loud. Oh, you've been trying to change people sometimes in your relationships? No, your job is to help them grow into what they're truly supposed to be. Let's take your significant other, for instance. Are you trying to mold them into what you want them to be? Say that again. Are you trying to mold them into what you want them to be or are you allowing them to become who they were here to become? Are you trying to grow them or are you trying to change them?

How are you showing up for them? Do you have any kids or do you have any children that are in your life? Are you trying to restrict their growth? If they show an interest to something, what are you doing when they show an interest to it? What if it's an interest that you don't really like? Maybe your son wants to be in gymnastics, but you want him to play football. How are you showing up in his life? Huh? Gotta think about that. Are you allowing him to deepen his interest in something, or are you trying to tell him to follow that. Are you allowing him to deepen his interest in something? Or are you trying to tell him to follow the interest that you want him to follow? Are you trying to help them deepen their interest?

Or are you trying to restrict them? Are you trying to change them? Are you trying to make them into what you want them to be? Hmm. What do you believe that they should be? hmm, what do you believe that they should be? I have a friend of mine's grandpa, may have heard me tell this story before, but they were searching through the attic. He was in his nineties at the time, probably eighties at the time. They were searching through the attic and they found these beautiful paintings, like beautiful paintings. And they went up to their

grandpa and they showed him, they're like, hey, who painted these paintings that we found? They're so beautiful. And he's like, oh, I painted them. And they're like, grandpa, you paint? He's like, yeah. I haven't done it in like 60 years though, 70 years. And they're like, what happened? Why haven't you painted? And he tells him the story about when he was a kid, like in the thirties, I think it was. Thirties, twenties, whatever it was when his grandfather was a kid. and he was painting and he's so in love with painting, used to paint all of the time. And he had so much love for it. He was starting to become really good at it. And then his father came home one day and found out that his son was painting. And his exact phrase was, he said, Hey, you're not gay. So you don't paint. You know, this is way back in the twenties and

thirties when people were saying shit, that's completely inappropriate, right? He's like, you're not gay. You can't paint. Because he thought it was feminine, I guess, to be able to paint as if that makes any sense. It doesn't. And he destroyed his son's dream of becoming a painter. And he never painted again. That's not letting somebody bloom into what they could be. That's not finding somebody's interest and saying could be. That's not finding somebody's

interest and saying, how can I find this person's interest and deepen their interest and make them become what they can become even more? So then they said to him, they're like, well, that's ridiculous. Do you want to start painting? And he's like, yeah, I'd actually enjoy painting. So then they take him to the art store, they get him paint. And it was like a whole new person came alive. Oh God, could you imagine 60, 70 years of feeling like a creative person and not being able to let it out, to feel like this creativity

was just blocked inside of you simply because somebody was restricting you from who you were truly supposed to be. I don't know about you. I never want to be that person to someone that I love. I don't want to be this person to anybody ever, period. I don't want to restrict someone from what they're supposed to be. But think about this. How many of us are

doing that in tiny little ways with the ones that we love? Maybe not saying something that's as dramatic as that or something as inappropriate as that, but maybe we just give the little, as we like to call them, the negs, the little negative comments. There's little jabs. It's not jabbing somebody with a knife, but it's like a bunch of little tiny jabs with a pinprick. It doesn't feel good to get hit with a pinprick, but it's not going to kill you. But you get a thousand of those things in there, it's going to be a problem. How many times have we done that? We've all done that in little tiny ways. Think about your relationship with your kids. Think about your relationship with your friends, with your parents, with your significant other.

Are you giving them little tiny jabs, little tiny restrictions? It's like death by a thousand cuts. We're just killing people's dreams just because what? We want them to be something different than they are? We want them to have the same interests as us? What is the reason why? Hey, I thought coffee needed cream and sugar to taste good, but Comatier is an amazing cup of coffee that you can enjoy black. As an easy treat, you can add milk for a rich latte. Plus, you can make iced coffees in just two minutes. Comatier sources their coffee from the world's best locally owned specialty coffee roasters. Their coffee obsessed team has developed a new way to extract all the nuances and aromas from

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Let's talk about you. Okay. Are the people that are around you that you surround yourself with, what are they like? Hmm. Oh, we go in there. Are they nurturing? Are they supportive? When you pick up a new hobby, what do they say? Your friends around you, are they supportive or do they have a little bunch of little pinpricks, a bunch of little negs that throw in a match? You just a little negative comments. When you go for a big goal, how do they react? Do you talk shit about it? Oh, you'll never get there. Stop being ridiculous. When you talk about these big goals that you have in life, are they supportive? Do they say, yes, I think you can do it. And do they show as much excitement for you when you succeed? When you win, do they cut down all of the wins that you have?

Or when you win, are they there to pull you up and make you feel even better about your wins? The way that you could tell someone's a real friend or a fake friend is how they support you or don't support you when you win. How they react when you win is going to show you how somebody is really in your corner or not. Are they allowing you to bloom and supporting you into who you want to be? Or are they trying to restrict you? Trying to tell you who you should be, what's right, what's wrong, what you should and shouldn't do?

You know, this is the thing that's really interesting, right? If a flower doesn't grow, you don't change the flower. You change the environment. Think about that one. If you're not growing, maybe it's not all your fault. Maybe it's also your environment. If a flower doesn't grow, you don't change the flower. You change the environment. What does your environment look like? Maybe the problem or maybe one of the problems with your growth or lack of growth isn't fully you. Maybe it's also your environment. Maybe your gardeners

fucking suck. Like, let's just be real. Maybe they're not good gardeners. Maybe they should get fired from that gardening job. You have to think about that. Who is on your side 100%? Think about that right now. In your life, who is on your side 100%? And who's not? The people who aren't? Get rid of them because they're not supporting you. You're not going to grow to your fullest potential. You got to let go of people who aren't on the ride with you, that don't want the best for you, that don't want to see you do something amazing with your life. If someone's restricting you, holding you back, maybe it's time to let them go. And it's okay. Let them go. Sometimes you got to let

people go so you can grow. I like that. I feel like that should be a motivational rap song, right? Sometimes you got to let people go so that you can grow. Spitting bars over here. And you could still love them from afar. You can still love them. You can still love them and be like, hey, I love you. Get the fuck out of my face. You know, you can be like, I love you, but please just back away a little bit, right? Just give me some space. Let me grow. You get that Mason jar off of me. Cause you're trying to restrict my growth. I'm about to become something amazing. So you've got to think about that. How can you let go of the people who aren't great gardeners? And then how can you get more

gardeners in your corner? More people that do love you. More people that do support you. More people that want to see you win. People that want the best for you. They look at you and they're like, you can do it. I believe in you. I know that you can do it. There's no ulterior motives. They want to be there for you. Being around you makes them excited. They're like a lighthouse for you. You're like a lighthouse for them. And you're pushing each other along the route of becoming the best version of yourselves. How can you get more gardeners in your corner? You know, I believe that all of us have some sort of purpose in this world. And some of us are here to just be an amazing parent. Like some of you out there, your highest purpose in this world is to be the best

possible parent that you can, to create the best children that you possibly can. And that's an amazing person to be. And maybe that's your life goal. And maybe that's what you're here to do. And that's an amazing thing. Some of us are here and we're healers in some sort of way. I have this feeling that my job is to be a healer in this world, right? And I don't have to be perfect. The best teachers are still learning. The best healers are still healing. Some of us are here to be teachers, to learn, to grow. And as we learn and grow, to be able to teach people, whatever it is. Some of us are here to be artists, to be creative, to bring our art to the world, to inspire people through our art, maybe become an incredible filmmaker and make inspiring films that change the way that people think, or maybe to make

music that make people feel good when they're in their worst moments. Some of us are here to be the light for other people, to lead the way, to show them which way to go. And that's what you have to realize. And I want you to think of two things. You know, number one, I want you to think of this. You know, am I showing up for those that I love as a gardener? Am I showing up and giving them the best that I possibly could and nurturing them and helping them grow and bringing out the best of potential? When they tell me their motivations and their goals, am I like, hell yeah, whatever you need from me, I'll be there for you. I'll push you. I'll help you grow. I'll hold you accountable. When someone is trying to grow, what am I doing

to show that I'm there for them? Am I helping them grow? Am I facilitating their growth? Am I trying to make somebody better in every single thing that I do? Or am I stomping on the flowers? Am I sitting there just stomping on the flowers? You know, am I throwing out those little negative comments? Oh yeah, you just want a negative comment, negative comment. And what do I, number two is what do I want my environment to look like? When I look at myself as a flower needing to be nurtured, we all need to be nurtured in some sort of way, right? If a flower doesn't grow, you don't change the flower, you change the environment. What does my environment look like? Am I surrounded by people?

You know, what do I need to do to change my environment to make it the best possible environment for my potential, my true essence, my true flower to come out? And instead of becoming a three and a half foot rinky dink brown sunflower, I'm supposed to become an eight foot sunflower. And because my environment hasn't been what it's supposed to be, I need to create a new environment so that I can grow into that eight foot sunflower. And just like the seed, we're all filled with so much potential. There's so much potential inside of you. There's so much potential inside of you There's so much potential inside of us when you hold that little teeny tiny seed That little teeny tiny seed that can fit in palm of your hand could be an 80 foot tree at one point in time That's freaking amazing, isn't it?

We all are filled with so much potential that we could bring out to the world Our job is to figure out what that potential is and to try to live up to as much as possible Our job is to try to bring that out And what we need to do is we need to find people to surround ourselves with that support that, that love us, that want us to grow, that want us to turn into that eight-foot sunflower, that want us to turn into that 80-foot tree. And then we need to look at everybody else as another little tiny seed that we can hold in the palm of our heads and say, you know what? I'm in charge of helping this thing grow. I'm a piece of it. I'm a piece of the puzzle. Even if it's just a small piece, my job is to be here for others,

to help them grow, to give them the water, to give them a sun, just as a flower, just as another tree. And you know, whatever I expect and I would want other people to do for me is what I want to do for them. I want to help them grow. I want to see what the world could become. Because if everybody took this mindset, think of how much better the world would be if we just saw everybody who we are in contact with as our responsibility to help them grow into who they could become, as our responsibility to help them become whatever it is that they have inside of them, to live to their true potential. Because so many people are out there, they're just not living to their true potential simply because they don't know what's possible for themselves, number one. Number two,

they're not surrounded with people who make them realize that they're better than they think they could be, that inspire them, that want them to be better. That's what our job is to be and to do. You have so much potential inside of you and there's so much potential inside of everyone else around you. So how can you be a gardener to the flowers around you and how can you find gardeners to support the flower that's inside of you? So if you love this episode, please do me a favor. Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And with that, I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone

else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.