The Mindset Mentor - He Threw His Life Away

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you love this podcast, you probably love my free journaling course that just came out. If you go to mindsetmentorjournal.com, once again, mindsetmentorjournal.com, you can actually download it absolutely free. And with it, you'll get 30 free journaling prompts so that you can start to learn and grow and improve so that you can help yourself with journaling. Today, I'm going to be talking to you about how to handle the really, really hard times when they come up in your life. And I'm not going to be talking about like the little things. I'm actually going to be talking about some of the really, really hard times when they come up in your life. And I'm not going to be talking about like the little things. I'm actually going to be talking about some of the really,

Starting point is 00:00:47 the hardest things that have ever happened to you. And if you're going to go through the rest of this life and you're going to be around for another 20, 30, 40, 50 years, there's going to be some really hard times. And that's just the way that it goes, right? And to start off, I want to tell you a story. And this is a story about a friend of mine that happened not too long ago. And so I'm going to keep it a little bit vague so that my friend's details don't come out and that you guys don't know who he is or any of that type of stuff. But I'm going to tell you the story as much as I can of it and not give too, too much of details, but it is a absolutely true story. So recently, a friend of

Starting point is 00:01:22 mine got arrested for some incredibly serious charges. Nothing crazy. He didn't hurt anyone, none of that type of stuff, but he could be facing 10 to 15 years of jail time for what he did. And so it had nothing to do with anybody else. It had specifically to do with just him. And I've been friends with him for quite some time now, do it just him. And I've been friends with him for quite some time now. And he did something that he shouldn't have. And now he's got to live with the consequences of what he did. And the other day, basically, he ended up getting out of jail. And then he called me to have a conversation. That is kind of what I do, is I do this. I also help my clients. Then also I have friends that reach out to me when shit hits the fan and it's all over

Starting point is 00:02:09 the walls. And that is just a byproduct of my profession. And so to give you some background, he is incredibly smart. He's super talented and makes really good money too. But as long as I've known him, which is a long time, he's never really wanted to do what he does. And he makes a bunch of money,

Starting point is 00:02:32 but he just kind of went that way because that's what he did in college. That's what kind of worked out for him. And now he feels kind of stuck and he's been wanting to build a business specifically off of his skillset that he's incredibly good at. And once again, I am being intentionally vague to protect this person, but he's been wanting to follow a passion for a really long time, basically as long as I have

Starting point is 00:02:56 known him. And once he saw me build my business and the mindset mentor in all the stuff that I do, he's been around since before 2015 when I first started building all of it, he started thinking, man, like, is there a way, like I'm seeing Rob that is, Rob's following his passion. And he was excited about in the very beginning. And then he saw everything kind of explode over the past few years, you know, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine years. And he's been seeing it explode. And he's like, man, shit, I wanted to start when he started. I should have started when he started. You know, now I'm at this point, I still need to start. Maybe I would be as far along as he is

Starting point is 00:03:32 if I would have started. And so we had this conversation. He gets out of jail. He's out on bail, all of this stuff. And I thought it was just important for me to talk to him and ask him how he felt. And he's talking to me about how he feels. And obviously, he feels like shit. Doesn't feel good. He's got some very serious charges. And all of this life that he has built could be taken away from him. And his exact phrase that he said to me was, I feel like I threw my life away. I feel like I threw my life away. threw my life away. I feel like I threw my life away. And then what he said was, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. And I was talking to him and, you know, just to be honest with you, the way that I speak to everybody is exactly how I speak on this

Starting point is 00:04:16 podcast. I try not to be any different on this podcast than I am with my friends, than I am with my mom, all of that. And so I have found that I don't really do well at sugarcoating because I don't think that that helps somebody to sugarcoat for them. The way that I usually speak with people and help people when I'm talking to them is no sugarcoating, very direct, but also with a loving energy. And so what I said to him is I said, he said, I feel like I threw my life away and this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. And I said, cool. Yeah, man, I get it. Like you have every right to think that way if you want to, or you could also look at things from a completely different perspective. Is it cool if I just offer you another perspective of what I'm seeing going on?

Starting point is 00:04:59 And he's like, yeah, for sure. And I said, you, since I've known you, you've never wanted to do what you do. Never. You make a couple hundred grand a year, but it's been slowly eating at your soul. I've been watching it happen. You make a couple hundred grand a year, but you freaking hate what you do. And you're only doing it because you've been doing it for a while. And you're only doing it because you're trying to uphold this level of life that you've gotten used to and you don't want to, quote unquote, go back down. And so this can be the worst thing that's ever happened to you. And you can look at this one thing and realize maybe this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Or you can look at it as this could be the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I said to him, maybe your subconscious is so powerful

Starting point is 00:05:52 and so fed up with the life that you've built and knowing that you have something else that your soul really wants to follow, some purpose that your soul really has to follow and wants to follow, that it took a match and just burnt that motherfucker to the ground. Have you ever thought about that? And he's like, no, not really. And I was like, here's the way that I see that the universe usually comes through is it's the whisper, the feather, and then the truck, right? I'm sorry. It's the feather. Screwed this up. The whisper comes in. It's just a different spot. So it's the feather, the brick, the truck. So the feather, the brick, the truck.

Starting point is 00:06:30 The feather is like the universe coming over and like tickling your ear and whispering. There's where the whisper comes in. Whispering into your ear. Hey, you should probably quit your job. Hey, you really don't like doing this. Hey, you should probably make a change. Hey, you hate your boss. You should probably do something different. Hey, and it's like the universe will speak to you in a whisper. It'll tickle you with the feather and just lightly kind of push you in another direction. It'll try to push you, lightly try to push you in another direction, right? Yes, perfect. And that's happened many times, is it not? And he's like, yeah, many times. I've been feeling like I should leave my job for like 10 years or leave this industry for 10 years.

Starting point is 00:07:08 And so it's been whispering to you for a while. It's been, you know, the feather's been there for a while, hasn't it? And he's like, yeah, it has. And I said, then if you don't listen long enough, the universe is going to try to be a little bit more aggressive with you to make a change. And what happens is it'll hit you with a brick. Now, since I've known you, I've seen you get fired from multiple jobs because you don't show up the way that you could your performance is not what your performance could be You're not bringing your best self to it. The company eventually sees it a few years down the road and then you get fired That's happened a few times since we've known each other and Hasn't and he's like yeah it has I was like that's kind of like the brick It's firing the universe is literally firing you because you're not putting everything that you can into's kind of like the brick. It's firing. The universe is literally firing you

Starting point is 00:07:45 because you're not putting everything that you can into it. That's the brick. And you didn't listen to it, did you? He's like, no. And I was like, and then what happened? The truck. You got hit by a truck a couple of days ago when you got arrested for this stupid thing that you did

Starting point is 00:07:59 that luckily only hurt you and didn't hurt anybody else was like you getting hit by a truck. And I want you to realize that's the way it's always going to be. Creating visual content is an essential part of what I do over here. But the creative process hasn't always been easy. If you follow me on Instagram, social media,

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Starting point is 00:09:04 that will bring your group's content to life. And Canva for Teams enables a video editor that's so easy to use with tons of filters, animations, transitions that will bring your group's content to life. And Canva for Teams enables you to take your presentation to the next level with professionally designed presentation templates. Plus, their remote control feature means you can virtually connect and navigate slides from any device. And Canva for Teams is a secret that we use to creating great social media content. So collaborate with Canva for Teams. Right now, you can get a free 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me slash dial. That's C-A-N-V-A dot me slash dial for a free 45-day extended trial, canva.me slash dial. To kind of take a step back and get out of the story to speak to you listening to the podcast, there's probably many of you listening that have noticed

Starting point is 00:09:45 a feather in your life. And it's been a whisper of how you should change your life, how you should be doing something different, how you should be changing in some sort of way. Some of you have probably been hit by a brick in some sort of way, right? And then some of you have not listened long enough and you've been hit by a truck. And the way I got this, just the way I got the feather, the brick, the truck was actually, believe it or not, from another one of my friends whose dad went to prison. And he was talking about how the feather used to come in. I should change my life. I should change my life. I shouldn't be hanging out in these gangs and doing this. Then it was the brick came in and he got some close calls with the police. And then he went to prison. That was

Starting point is 00:10:25 a truck. He got hit. It was the universe saying, full reset. You're not paying attention. I've got to talk to you in some sort of way. I'm going to fully reset everything for you. And so if you're listening to this, sometimes that could be like in your health, right? Where you have the feather that comes in. You know what? I should probably stop drinking so much alcohol. I should probably eat a little bit healthier. I should probably go to the gym a little bit more, right? And you have a little bit of a feather. It's that whisper in your ear. It's that intuitive feeling of, I should probably do this. I should probably do this. But you don't always listen, right? And then what happens? You get smacked by a brick. And that brick might be a health scare. That brick might be something happening to you

Starting point is 00:11:06 or someone in your family has a health scare and it's showing you, oh my God, well, he's very similar to me. He's had this thing happen in his life because of his health. Maybe I should pay attention to that. That's like getting hit by the brick. And then if it goes long enough, it goes long enough and it goes long enough, then it's the truck. It might be a heart attack. It might be, you know, something worse than that. I don't know what it is, but it's the feather, the brick, the truck. So what I said to him when I was talking to my friend, I said, hey, listen, yeah, maybe this is the worst thing that ever happened to you. And it is your prerogative to look at the world that way if you want to. But I don't look at the

Starting point is 00:11:38 world that way. I look at it as everything's happening for me, not happening to me. And if you think that it's the worst thing that's ever happened to you and you threw your life away, you're acting as if the world's happening to you. I think it's happening for you. I think that you subconsciously burnt down this life that you had because you've hated it for years. So it could be the worst thing that ever happened to you, or it could be the best thing that ever happened to you. You might go to jail for quite a few years. Maybe that's what your soul needs in order to take a step back and improve yourself. And the way that I got this and I started realizing is that when I was younger,

Starting point is 00:12:12 if you know my story, my father passed away when I was 15. That was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But it was also the best thing that ever happened to me because he was the very first person that I had ever known in my life that had passed away. And I started to see the way that he lived his life that I did like and the ways that he lived his life that I did not like. And I started to realize, oh my God, I'm going to die. I'm not going to worry about all this dumb stuff that people always worry about by getting a stupid job and working for a stupid company and doing these things. Like I want to do something I'm passionate about.

Starting point is 00:12:41 I want to do something that feels like it could change the world. And I remember thinking this at like 15 years old. I was a really shy kid. The fact that I was thinking I was going to change the world was crazy, right? And so I was thinking this. But what happened was, you know, I realized in that moment, it was a terrible thing that happened to me, right? But I was not going to die without making some good out of that bad thing.

Starting point is 00:13:02 And I would not do what I do now. There's no way on earth that I would do what I do now if my father had not passed away. Because after my father died, I discovered self-development. And what happened was I started working on myself. And it took years. He died when I was 15. I discovered self-development when I was 19. And I realized when I discovered self-development that I had a lot of things that were kind of still stuck, things I needed to work through on my own. And because of the fact that I couldn't afford a psychologist at 19, I was a college student, right? I realized I could read some books. I could work on myself. I could try to, in a way, become my own psychologist to try to

Starting point is 00:13:42 help myself. And it became everything that I have now. And I became passionate about it simply because of what I saw happen to my father, how it affected me, how I improved myself from it. And I realized and I felt obligated to teach this to other people. I didn't know when I was 15 that that would turn into this, but it has. So now the worst thing that's ever happened to me has turned into the best thing that's ever happened to me. And hopefully the best thing that's happened to the world in my expression of myself in the world, right? So if you feel, you know, you can feel like you're throwing your life away and that it's the worst thing that ever happened to you, or you can decide, this is me still talking to my friend, or you can decide that this is going to become the best thing

Starting point is 00:14:22 that's ever happened to you. It doesn't mean it's not going to be hard. Like you have a really, really hard road ahead, but you can change your perspective of what you're going through because you're going to go through it either way. You might as well change your perspective and actually start to see how it can become the best thing that's ever happened to you. So we had some more conversation, more conversations, and he slowly went from like this very sad, depressive state to a little bit better, to a little bit better, to a little bit better, to a little bit better. And he's like, I'm going to, whatever happens, whether I don't go to jail, whether I go to jail for a little bit, whether I go to jail for a long time, I'm going to figure out a

Starting point is 00:14:56 way to come out on the other end of this better than I was before. And so I want you to think about that. If you're listening to this podcast, what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? What did you learn from it? Are you still going through it? Is it still happening right now? And then what has your mindset been around that event? Have you thought that you're a victim? Are you still bitter about that thing that that person did to you seven years ago? Are you still moping around about it? That's your prerogative. If you want to, you still can. You can do whatever the hell you want. It's your prerogative to mope. It's your prerogative to be bitter. It's all up to you. Or can you look at it and realize that, yeah, I kind of burnt everything

Starting point is 00:15:36 down and I'm going to build back from the ashes. The other thing that I said when I was talking about his life, his subconscious burning it to the ground is I think that he did it. I think that, you know, I don't think I'm not going to talk about this. I think that he subconsciously did what he did because he was tired of it. I think that it was the truck coming through. I think that it was the universe saying, you know what, dude, it's done. You're done. We're burning this thing to the ground, right? He's wanted something different for over 10 years. And so it comes back to the feather, the brick to the truck. He ended up getting hit by the truck. And so it could seem like the worst

Starting point is 00:16:15 thing that's ever happened to him, or it can seem like a course correction. I know a lot of people have gone to prison and come back way better than when they went in. Maybe that's the course correction that he needed. And so what I really want you to understand from this story is everything in your life is about perspective. What is the perspective that you're looking at, the lens that you're looking at the world through? Because you can choose to be the victim. Hey, go for it. If that's what you want, that's what makes you feel better, go for it. Or you can look at it through a completely different lens and say, you know what? This happened for me. I you can look at it through a completely different lens and say, you know what? This happened for me. I'm going to figure out a way to turn this negative thing

Starting point is 00:16:49 and turn it into good. I'm going to start listening when I hear the whisper, when I feel the feather before I get hit by the brick and definitely before I get hit by the truck. Because if you feel like you're supposed to go in a different direction, you should probably go in a different direction. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, go ahead and subscribe to it. And then also do me a favor, just go ahead and take a screenshot of you listening to this podcast, a video of where you are, a picture of where you are, and share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I always love seeing when people are sharing where they are and what they're doing and all that stuff. And I get to see some of your faces a lot of times as well.

Starting point is 00:17:26 And so it puts a face to the following, which is always fun to see as well. Makes it feel real for me versus just me sitting here looking at a camera, talking to a microphone. So go ahead and do that. It's Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - He Threw His Life Away

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