The Mindset Mentor - How Fear is Holding You Back

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

Ever feel like your comfort zone is secretly holding you back? In today’s episode, I’m diving into why that little voice in your head keeps you "safe"—but also stuck—and how to break free from the fear that's been blocking you from the life you want. We’re talking about those common fears (fear of failure, fear of judgment, even fear of success) and how to flip the script to start living on the edge of your comfort zone, where all the real growth happens. Ready to ditch the excuses and finally go after what you really want? Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And I have an exciting announcement. I just created a short, to the point, no fluff, 17 page ebook to help you master your New Year's resolutions and to prep for 2025. It's called goals mastery, the step-by-step guide to achieving your goals. I'm going to give you the most effective ways to set plan and achieve your goals for 2025. It's got a workbook at the end of it so that you can get really clear on what your goals are. And the best part is it is 100% free. So if you want to grab your copy of the ebook, go ahead and go to goals2025.com.

Once again, goals2025.com and pick it up. Today, we're going to be talking about how to destroy the little voice inside of your head that's holding you back. Now, why would you want to do that? And for those of you guys that are like, oh, what's he talking about? I don't know a little voice inside of my head. I don't have a little voice inside of my head. Well, that is the little voice inside of your head that's telling you that you don't have a little voice inside of your head. We've all got some narration that's always happening. But the thing that I found with most people is that most of the time, our little inner voice is this thing that's trying to keep us in the same place. It's trying to keep us inside of our comfort zone, trying to keep us from change. And I understand,

and what's good about it is that it is a safety mechanism. It's a protection mechanism to keep you safe. But if you're going to create the life that you want, you're going to have to work through that voice that's inside of your head, because everything in life that you want is on the other side of your fears. It's on the other side of that little voice in your head and what it's telling you to do. It's on the other side of the excuses that you continue to keep giving yourself as to why you're not where you want to be.

You know, there's a Will Smith quote that I heard years ago, and it said, God put all of the amazing things on the other side of fear. And so when we look at it, every person in this world has fear. It's just the way that it goes. That is what's part of being a human here, which is an animal here, and some sort of organism is that we have fears to protect ourselves. And I can have all of the fears in the world. I can have the fear of not being good enough, of not being smart, of the fear of being rejected, the fear of success, the fear of failure, the fear of other people's opinions. I can have all of those fears. But the main thing that I really fear more than anything else is those fears, like are those fears.

The fear that I have is that if I listen to those fears, I'm not going to get the life that I want. I fear those fears because living life in a state of fear and just allowing the, I'm not good enough. What if people judge me? I'm afraid of failure, fear of success. Living in those fears is living a life that is completely in the prison of your own mind. And that then turns into you not living a life that's fully in the prison of your own mind. And that then turns into you not living a life that's fully lived. When you feel fear, it's actually a really good thing. And I want you to understand this. When you feel fear inside of your body, it is your body telling you danger, danger, danger, which if it was a hundred thousand years ago, yeah, that's really

important because we needed to feel that danger to make us get away from a bear that was inside of the woods or to make us go into a cave so that therefore we could be protected on almost 360 degrees around us except for the entrance. But when we feel fear now, it is showing us that we are on the edge of our comfort zone. Like feeling fear is actually a really good thing. And the reason why is because it's showing you that you, it is the physical manifestation of your fear, your comfort zone, excuse me, your feeling of fear is the physical manifestation of your comfort zone. And it's your brain in your body saying, hey, we don't feel safe going

further than this. Why? Because it's outside of our comfort zone. So we unconsciously over our lives train ourselves that when we feel fear, that we fall back. No, I'm not going to do it. No, I feel fear. I'm just going to go ahead. I'm going to fall back. We unconsciously train ourself to do that. But if you know that your life is not in danger, then you can remind yourself every time you feel fear and you look around and you say, is my life in danger? No, it's not. Okay. Then what I'm going to do is I'm going to go, you know what? I'm noticing myself. I'm noticing I'm at the edge of my comfort zone. I'm going to lean in just a little bit, just a little bit. I don't have to blast past my

comfort zone because that's going to make me really uncomfortable. I, just a little bit. I don't have to blast past my comfort zone because that's going to make me really uncomfortable. I'm just going to lean. I'm just going to test the boundaries. I'm going to lean into these fears just a little bit because we all have this voice inside of us and it's either pushing us forward or it's holding us back. And for most of us, and for me for years, it was holding me back because it wants what's familiar. It wants what it feels is safe. And it will trick you into staying the same and to trick you into not taking action outside of your comfort zone. But if you want a different life, if you want a better life than you currently have, the life you want is on the other side of that comfort zone. It's on the other side of the actions that you're afraid to take. And nothing will change unless you're

willing to make a change. Everything will stay the same if you don't do something different. It's crazy to me how many people want different lives, but they are literally unwilling to do something different. So then they hope that the world will change or that the government will change or that the president will change or that the economy will change or that they'll win the lottery, whatever it might be. And it's if you want a different life, unless some stroke of luck happens, you need to be the person who goes and gets it. It's like the Einstein quote, to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results is the definition of insanity. To do the same thing over and over

and over and think that somehow it's just magically going to be different, that's insanity. You must be different if you want different. And some people listening to this are in the exact same position that they were 10 years ago. They're in the same position mentally, They're in the same position mentally, same position physically, same position emotionally. And listen, I love you all that are listening to this podcast, but I'm going to say this with all the love in my heart. Some people just need to get their shit together. It's time to pull up your big girl and big girl britches and actually start working for the life that you want.

You know, if you look at Newton's first law, it's an object at rest, stays at rest, and lets it acted upon by an external force. Your next year, everything that you're trying to build is going to be exactly the same as it was this year, unless you do something different about it. You need to be the external force that changes where you're going. You need to be the change in what you're trying to going. You need to be the change in what you're trying to do. You need to be the person to take action. I'm sorry, but nobody is coming to save you. There's no knight in white shining armor that's going to come and just change your life for you. And I do understand change is hard. Uncertainty is hard. Doing something different is

hard. And the first step is absolutely the hardest. But if you want something different, you've got to be the person to do something different. And you have to understand that little voice inside of your head will always be there. No matter how hard you work it, no matter how much you try to silence it, it's always going to be there. But you must realize that it's not always speaking the truth. That voice will probably always be there. You must take action regardless of it. It might get a little bit quieter over time. You might not listen to it as much over time, but the thing that I want you to understand is it's not your enemy.

It's also not your guide. It's not like your enemy, like you've got to fight this thing, and it's not your guide, you need to follow exactly what it tells you to do. You just have to see it kind of for what it is, which is a reflex. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. Your inner voice is a reflex. And psychologists have found that most people speak to themselves, their inner voice, their inner narrative is very similar to the narrative or the voice that their primary caregiver gave to them. And so usually you speak to yourself the same way that one of your parents spoke to you, if not both of your parents spoke to you. So when you speak to yourself and you hold yourself back

and you want to protect yourself and you have that little voice inside of your head, it's a reflex. It's something that's been learned. It's something that's trying to protect you. It's a reflex. It's not reality. And so, you know, it says things like you're not good enough. You're not smart enough. You're going to fail. You're not, uh, you're, you're, what if you succeed and you lose it all? You're not fit enough. You're not worthy. Go back to bed. Don't work out this morning. Sleep in. Scroll on Instagram for an hour. You're not worthy, go back to bed, don't work out this morning, sleep in, scroll on Instagram for an hour, you're not good enough to grow a business, stay on the couch. And you have to recognize that these thoughts are thoughts of self-preservation, not self-improvement.

And they're always based in fear. The fear of change, the fear of getting out of your comfort zone, the fear of uncertainty, the fear of needing to fundamentally change who you are sometimes, fundamentally change your identity. And it's the little voice that's inside of our head that keeps us in our comfort zone. Why? Well, think back to what I was talking about a few minutes ago, like with the cavemen, right? If you go back a hundred thousand years ago, why was our ancestors, why were they cavemen and cavewomen? Well, because that's where the safety was. It's almost 360 degrees of safety. There's just one door, the entrance in and out that we've just got to pay attention to

to protect ourselves from. And so they would go into caves for protection. Now, we don't live in caves anymore, but our comfort zone is the modern day cave for us. We go there for protection. We stay there for safety. And your brain is wired to protect. But protection, now in 2024, 2025, protection doesn't always equal progress. And so what do you do? What I recommend is that you make friends with that little inner voice that's in your head. Don't fight it.

Put your arm around it. Become intimate with it. Know it as deeply and intimately as you possibly can. And then know what it's trying to do. as you possibly can, and then know what it's trying to do. And when it pops up, whenever it does pop up, you have to do what it tells you not to do. So it says, don't work out, work out. It says, don't make the bed, make the bed. It says, don't put away the dishes, scroll on Instagram and said, put away the dishes. It says, you know, don't make your cold calls because you're going to get hung up on, make your cold calls. It says, you know, go back make your cold calls because you're going to get hung up on. Make your cold calls.

It says, you know, go back to bed. Wake up before the sun. It says, you know, don't jump in the cold plunger. Don't take a cold shower. Take a cold shower. Every time you act against that little inner voice, you weaken the strength that it has against you. You weaken the hold that it has on you. And you have to realize, like I said, like like I said, you need to befriend this thing.

You need to become intimate with it. The more that you become intimate, the more you start to notice it when it pops up and you can see it for what it is. Oh, hey, little inner voice, I appreciate you. You're trying to put fear inside of me because you want to keep me in my comfort zone because you want to protect me. I don't need your protection right now. And when you notice the voice, as I said, don't negotiate with it. Do not let it win. You've got to go against what it says. The only way to get rid of it is to essentially start to defeat it. There is no other option. You can't think your way out of your mind. You can't think your way out of a problem. It's like trying to dig your way out of quicksand. You're just going to go deeper and deeper into it. And so sometimes you've got to build the habit of when you're thinking too much, just take action. When you're thinking too much, just take action. When you feel fear, just take action. Just do it now. You've got to build the habit of not giving it a say in your decisions.

not giving it a say in your decisions. And it's kind of like the obstacle is the way. If you've ever read the obstacle of the way by Ryan Holiday, he basically says, wherever you're trying to go, if there's an obstacle in front of you, that obstacle is a thing that's in front of you for a reason, for you to have to get through that obstacle so that you can get stronger so that you're better off as you continue on the path that you're trying to go to. And what you have to realize is that the fear that the little voice is speaking into you is literally showing you what you need to work on. It's showing you the exact thing that's in front of you. Oh, you feel so much fear about other people's opinions. Well, I need to work on that. I need to put myself out there so therefore I stop caring as much about other people's opinions. You can't listen to it.

You can't negotiate with it. You have to go through it. The only way out is through. And your internal resistance will show you where your growth is waiting for you. You have to understand your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die. It's like that phrase that says the richest place is a graveyard because most people never took their dreams and actually put it out there. You can't wait until you're comfortable. You can't wait until you're ready. You can't wait until it's a perfect time. You just have to sometimes embrace the fear and do it anyways. You have to jump off the ledge knowing that your parachute will eventually be there. There will never be a perfect time. The only time that you ever have is right now. And so you have to be comfortable with seeking discomfort.

You need to challenge yourself. You need to do stuff that makes you uncomfortable because then you get more comfortable being uncomfortable. You have to do cold plunges. Even though you've been seeing it looks like that weird thing that people are doing on Instagram. Do it. Try it. See what it's like. Notice how the little voice pops up inside of your head that says, don't do this. And then when you get in the cold plunge, notice how the little voice says, get out. Notice the little voice inside of your head and how it tries to keep you in your comfort zone, tries to keep you doing the exact same thing you've always done, and start doing the opposite of it. Become very familiar with that voice that's trying to keep you in your comfort zone. If you notice, a lot of my podcasts have a very similar

tone to them. And the tone is just take action on the life that you want. Get it together. Take action on the life that you want. Do what's hard. Break through your comfort zone. Push through your fears. Life is either easy now and hard later, or it's hard now and easy later. I don't know about you. I would prefer that as I'm younger, life is harder now so that I can create an easier life as time goes on. Nothing great in this world has ever happened by somebody who decided to stay in their comfort zone. Every person that you look up to, every idol, whoever it might be, or person that's out there in the public eye

where you're like, man, that person's amazing, they're crushing, they've done amazing things in this world, they're not people who stay inside their comfort zone. So you have the ability to change your brain. There's a thing called neuroplasticity, which means your brain's ability to change. And your brain doesn't change by doing the same thing. Your brain changes by

doing different things over and over and over again. And that's what I want you to understand. Your brain creates thoughts. Thoughts create feelings. Feelings create action or lack of action. And any action or inaction, whatever it is, creates some sort of results. And results change your life or keep it exactly the same. And so you have to be the type of person that says, you know what, I'm going to change. I'm going to do something different. I'm going to be somebody different. And if you do that going into next year, you will create the best life you possibly can. If you are seeking discomfort and feeling the fear and pushing past and doing it anyways. So if you do that,

you get out of your comfort zone, you'll create the life that you want. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on the Instagram stories, tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And once again, everybody, if you're out there and you want to master your 2025 goals, I wrote a book for you, 17 pages, free.

You can go ahead and get it right now. Go to Goals 2025. Once again, Goals 2025, it's 17 pages of value with a workbook at the end that helps you work through, plan, and create your goals for the year. So with that, I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode, making sure mission makes somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.