The Mindset Mentor - How is the Culture of Your Life?

Episode Date: January 22, 2021

Culture is in everything we do, our businesses, our families, and our relationships but how seriously do you take the culture in your life? In this episode, we will talk about how important it is to build a culture of growth in your life and how the culture that you set will affect everyone around you.Follow me on Instagram at @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, Business Edition. I am your host, Rob Dylann. I am joined by my best friend and business partner, Dean DeVries. And today, we're going to talk about how to build amazing culture in everything that you do. So how to build an amazing culture in your business, how to build an amazing culture in your business, how to build an amazing culture in your relationships, how to build an amazing culture in your family, how to build amazing culture in everything that you do. And one of the things that we used to hear a lot, Dean,

was we used to always hear culture eats strategy for lunch. When we were in Cutco, that was a phrase that we used to hear all the time. And one of the things that is our most important, if not the most important part of our hiring process is to make sure that somebody is a culture fit for us. And when you think about strategy, strategy is what you do, you know, whatever it is to get you from point A to point B, but, but culture is a collective consciousness or the energy of a group of people. And I guess, Dean, you could probably say it's kind of like the invisible web between people, right? Yeah, it's, you know, when you think about culture, it is the energy that is within the group of people.

So the, you know, the commonalities, the way that, you know, people think, the way that people do things when they're in a group together. And, you know, it kind of goes back to just the universal law of physics, that energy is neither created nor destroyed. It's just transferred and transformed. And, you know, especially in what actually, whether it be business, whether it be a family, whether it be relationships, this, the, the person who leads the way with the culture, it's kind of that idea of like the speed of the team is the speed of the leader. And so, you know, culture is really, you know, the people aspect, you know, the vibe, if you will. And, um, and strategy, you know, strategy is important, but I believe that culture

is actually the thing that helps the strategy, the strategy get even more clear and just helps the strategy get executed a lot better. But culture is really about the identity of the organization or the identity of the family or the relationship. Yeah. And I love that because, you know, strategy is important. If you have a business, if you have a family, if you have a relationship, you need to have some strategy to get to where you want to go to get more sales or to, you know, deepen your connection in your marriage or to become a better parent. All of those things are important, of course, but the connection between the people is really even more important than the strategy of how to do it. So when we go through our hiring process, the main thing that we've noticed is that

if somebody is a culture fit, like if they're like, if we get the feeling like a hell yes feeling from them, we're more likely to hire them even if their skill set is less than somebody else. And the reason why is because we know that we can help somebody build their skill set, but you can't teach culture. You can't teach drive. You can't teach connection to somebody. And that's why when we say it's the vibe, it's literally the vibe that you get from someone. So we all know that you've met somebody before and thought, oh yeah, this person's a hell yes. Like you just connect the moment that you meet them, right? But you've also met somebody before where you've been like, I don't know why, but it's not like they're offending the senses. They don't look bad. They don't seem bad, but there's something

that the vibe of this person is just not right. And sometimes if you decide to go with that person, whether it's date that person or hire that person, it almost always ends up bad. And the reason why is because we can kind of sense the people that we connect with on the deepest level. And we can also sense people that we're really in essence, not connected with. Yeah, totally. And I think it's just really important to distinguish that there is a major difference between strategy and culture. Especially when it comes to companies. I've heard some people, some business owners say, well, our culture is to acquire customers. And that is not a culture. That's a strategy, right? The strategy is like the, the steps that you take to acquire a customer,

the process that you take, uh, to fulfill your product or service to your customer. But culture is what is the intention when acquiring that customer? What's your mindset around acquiring customers? Are you taking from your customers or are you serving your customers, right? It's a, it might, might look the same, the same on paper, the same strategy, but it's the energetic component, right? The energy that you bring to over deliver on your customer's experience when they're buying your product or service, right? That's, that's going to take the strategy of fulfilling your product or service to your customer to a whole

new level. Yeah. So we want to go through a few different, uh, I guess a few different areas where culture is super important. We want to talk about the business. We want to talk about your relationships, your friendships, your family. We want to talk about all of those things, but you know, when you're looking at your business, what culture do you have in your business? So if you have your own business, what's your culture, right? Is it, is it, what would you say on a scale of one to 10, is your culture amazing or is your culture shit? And if you're, if you don't have your own business, maybe you work in a company, what's the company culture like, right? Like I've worked at companies where the culture is amazing. I've also worked at companies where the culture is literally terrible

and that's not something that you want to be a part of. So what's the culture that you have in your business? You know, you're going to spend the majority of your waking hours working somewhere. Wouldn't you want to work with people who you think are amazing, that make you feel better, that have the same mindset, that have the same work ethic, the people that make you feel better, that have the same mindset, that have the same work ethic, the people that make you better? Wouldn't you want that? Wouldn't you just want to surround yourself with those types of people? Yeah. And the other thing about culture too, is that don't get it confused. Like if you are, let's say you're a solopreneur, right? And you're the only one that's in your business, the only one responsible for your business, you create the culture that you experience. And so if you're a solopreneur, you know, just going back to that, that idea of,

you know, strategy versus, versus culture, you know, the strategy might be, you know, prospecting for two hours a day. And, but the, the culture is, you know, how are you showing up to that prospecting? Are you just rolling up to your desk, rolling out of bed, Tokyo Drift style right into your prospecting and just trying to crank it out? Or are you priming yourself? Are you setting a strong intention? Are you visualizing the ideal outcome that you want to create? Are you getting your energy in the right place,

getting energy rich and really clear on how you're going to show up? That is the culture that we all, we all have within us. Even if you're, if, if you are working as part of a team or, you know, uh, or, or there's a lot of people around you that are kind of set, set in the culture, so to speak, you actually set your own culture in your, especially in business. Yep. And there's a lot of people that are, that are solopreneurs that listen to us. There's a lot of people that are solopreneurs that listen to us. There's a lot of people that are in multi-level marketing companies that listen to us.

And they have people that are in their downline, right? And there's a lot of people that literally, like we said, you're the only person that's in the business or you're just starting your business. And you have to realize if your culture, if you don't think about culture right now, then you're not going to think about culture later.

The culture that you have now by yourself is also the same culture you not going to think about culture later. The culture that you have now by yourself is also the same culture you're going to have with everybody else. So if you're not being very intentional, like you're saying with your calls, if you're not priming yourself, if you're not meditating in the mornings and having a morning routine and journaling and working out and holding yourself to a high standard, how do you expect when you eventually bring somebody onto the team, let's hope that your business does grow. How are you going to expect that you're going to be the best manager for them, the best leader for them, if you're not even holding yourself accountable when you're the only person there? Yeah. And you've heard us say it before. We

believe that your business is always going to be a reflection of what it is that you need to work on. And so just looking at things that outside of your business that, you know, can play a role, especially, uh, this next one, which is relationships. What culture do you have in your relationships, your friendships, your relationships at work, your relationships with, you know, people that maybe you look up to what's the culture that you have in your relationships with people that you're supporting and maybe you know can can learn a thing from learn a thing from uh learn a thing or two from and uh i'm getting excited here so like you know i'm just thinking about like when we have a strong culture in our friendships, right? And this, and I'm always reminded of this concept

with my relationship with you, brother, because, you know, we have always had the culture of our friendship, our relationship where we've supported each other. And, you know, I also know that there's, you know, people out there that, and I, I also have, you know, or have had a few friendships or relationships in the past where it was almost like, you know, or have had a few friendships or relationships in the past where it was almost like, you know, we're beating each other up and breaking each other down as almost like an ego battle. Yeah. And I've, I've had those before as well. And you really have to start to take a step back and say, what is the culture that we have between us? Like we, you and I, we talk probably four or five times a day on the phone.

We talk all the time and there's sometimes we just give each other some shit, but then there's always a point of growth behind. That would be our relationship in our culture that's inside of it. But you know, if you spend a couple hours with somebody who is a friend, somebody that you're in a friendship with, how do you feel when you leave? Have you thought about that? Like when you spend time with somebody and they're your friend, do you leave and you feel more inspired? You feel more motivated. You feel like, dude, I just want to go in whiteboard. I want to go kick some ass. I want to go to the gym. I want to do something amazing because that was, I feel fired up whenever I'm around this person. Or do you leave and you're like drained of energy? They were venting to you

the whole time. They were bringing you down. They were talking, you know, making fun of you and throwing little negative comments at you throughout the entire little tiny jabs that aren't really a whole lot, but a lot of jabs in one day is going to end up being a lot. So when you leave spending a few hours with this person, how do you feel? Like, do you take an honest look at how number one, you're being treated in relationships and number two, how you're treating others in relationships and how you're showing up? Because maybe if you do have a relationship with somebody who you've had the culture of making fun of each other, you can change that culture at any moment. The same way you can change a business culture at any moment, you have to show up as a different

person. And you say, you know what? Like, I'm just not, I'm not going to bring you down anymore. I don't think that's funny. I don't think we're helping each other. I really love you and want the best for you. And what I want to do is I want to support you. I don't want to bring you down anymore. Can we change the culture of our relationship and actually start to support each other a little bit more? And so you can take an honest look at the relationships that you have and how you're treating those people, how they're treating you. And can you develop deeper relationships? And if somebody doesn't want to grow with you,

you know, maybe it is time that you kind of let them go or at least spend some less, a little bit less time with them. You know, we all have had relationships where the culture is just very surface level. It's not deep. So do you want to stay service level or do you want to go deeper with these people? all-in-one platform. You can build your website, claim a domain, sell your products online, and even market them. And building a website can cost thousands and thousands of dollars, but on Squarespace, you can actually build a website with actually no experience needed. And Squarespace has a suite of products combined with award-winning design and world-class engineering to make it easier than ever to establish your own online presence. From websites to online stores, to marketing tools, to analytics, Squarespace is the only

place that has the all-in-one platform that you need to build a beautiful online presence and run your business. So go to squarespace.com slash dial for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, you can use the code dial D-I-A-L to save 10% on your first order when you purchase a website or domain. Once again, that's squarespace.com. Great children's books open up new worlds for discovery. And with Literati Kids, your child can explore uncharted places every single month with spellbinding stories handpicked by experts.

Literati Kids is a try-before-you-buy subscription book club. Each month, Literati delivers five vibrantly illustrated children's books, bringing the immersive magic of reading right to your home. And each book bundle is thoughtfully tailored by education experts with five stories meant to spark new interests and nurture a healthy curiosity. So no more sorting through hundreds of titles, trying to guess what your child will cherish. Literati sends you the best in children's literature, and you choose to purchase the ones that you love and then send back the rest for free. From art and adventure to tales of compassion, each Literati book

follows a new enriching theme. Every box is a fun and fresh adventure. Head to literati.com slash dial for 25% off your first two orders. Select your child's book club and then start them on a literary journey like no other. That's literati.com slash dial. It's the only place for 25% off your first two orders for one of a kind book subscription with the most joyful way to foster a lifelong learning experience. That's literati, L-I-T-E-R-A-T-I.com slash dial. Yeah. And I'm just reminded of, you know, the, I mean, we've had probably, I can actually go back to three conversations that are really strong in my memory where you and I actually had like a really honest conversation with each other and was like, Hey, you know, I want to

support you and I want to support this relationship to, you of us and be the best that we possibly can be. And I just remember having a few of those conversations over the years, just as we've been in different stages of our journey. But I just want to double click on what you said earlier about we have the influence to change the culture in our business and our relationships. You know, another thing I'm reminded of is romantic relationships, right? Not just friendships and, you know, business partners and, you know, you know, the relationships you have in the workplace or clients, you know, the romantic relationship, which is arguably the most important relationship to nurture. And, you know, some relationships avoid, you know, tough conversations. And that is a decision around the culture. And so, you know,

I just want you to ask yourself, like, do you have that culture in your relationship where you're afraid to have the tough conversations or do you want to have those tough conversations because you know, it's about growth and you know, it's about improvement and you know, not just like the, you know, the, the intention behind the relationship, but also how are you showing up to the, what's the culture around how to show up in the relationship with your romantic partner? And just to like, you know, just to like throw this out there, you know, I think about honestly, like having sex with your, with, with, with your spouse or with your partner, are you making love and truly connecting with your partner or are you just having sex just to get off?

You know, and it's kind of a racy example, but, you know, it really is the perfect, you know, the perfect example of how it can be the same thing, but the culture is different. The energetic aspect of it is different. Yeah. Yeah.

And I want to go back to even just the communication side of it, right? Like I've, we've all been in relationships that are very surface level and you stay together for six months, a year, two years, and it never goes deeper. And those aren't fulfilling relationships, but that is a culture of like, I'm going to stay service level for you. I'm going to, you know, not poke your insecurities. If you don't poke my insecurities, I'll pretend that I am who I, who you think you are. If you pretend who I think I am, right. It's kind of like we, we just go that way or, you know, something happens and instead of holding onto it and

holding onto it and holding onto it, and then eventually you blow up, it's about having the, do you have the culture of, you know, when something needs to be said, we say it, we say it in a loving way, but we talk, or do you have the culture of, yeah, we just ignore those things. And then it turns into a big ass fight, right? So that is a culture. What is your culture in your relationship? And once again, if you don't love the culture of the relationship that you're in, the romantic relationship, you can change it any moment. We know that the most important part of every relationship is the communication. And if the communication sucks between the two of you, what's going on? Maybe you should sit down and say, listen, you know,

we've been together for six months, a year, 10 years, maybe. And I feel like we could go deeper than we currently are. And so I noticed that there's some things that I do that kind of piss you off a little bit. Sometimes there's some things that you do that piss me off a little bit. I want to be able to bring those things up in a loving way. And I want to be able to talk to you about it. You know, in my relationship, we have a code word and we bring up that code word whenever we're in a situation where we're like, Oh, we should probably talk about this. Right. Or we should take some time away from each other and come back and talk about it. And it kind of gets you out of the, the injured child, you know, like I want to hurt her because she hurt me. I want to, I want to hurt him because he,

you know, because, because I'm hurt now. And when you say the word, like whatever it is, rhinoceros, pineapple, something that you don't normally say on a daily basis, it kind of clicks you out of that, that little spiral that it can go down. And now you're like, okay, we've gone too far or we're going down a path that's that neither one of us are loving. And so maybe what we do is we take 20 minutes away, wait for our, you know, energy to calm down a little bit because when emotion is high, logic is low. And now we can have a calm, cool, collected and go, you know what? I'm sorry. I realized after 20 minutes, I was actually a person that was wrong here.

But do you have that? Do you have that culture in your relationships with people that you're close to? Yeah. And I mean, communication, it benefits all relationships. And I think about like familial relationship. What's the culture that you have with your family? You know, whether you're, you know, a parent and have kids and, you know, really like leading the family. have kids and, you know, really like leading the family or, you know, are, do you have a family where you have siblings and you have elders and grandparents and parents that, you know, like to communicate with them in a deep way is the, the thing that, that just makes those relationships even more meaningful. And, you know, I also think about like the culture of how you lead your

family, how, how you spend your time with your family. Are you, you know, sitting at the dinner table, totally engaged or are you disengaged? Are you scrolling on social media and, and, you know, just mindlessly taking up space, but just kind of checking off the box of, Hey, I'm spending time with my family versus like really deepening the relationship and the influence that you have by sitting at the dinner table and connecting. Yeah. Yeah. And what I would love for you to Dean, explain what you guys do every single night in your family. Cause that's in my mind, that is a, you know, a culture in those moments where I really want to connect with, uh, with Jen, with my two sons. Um, you know, we, we try to do things that are like really intentional. So every single night we get together and we do, it's called a

gratitude circle and we have, you know, we do a few breaths with each other, get synced up and with our breaths and with our energy and also get into like just a really present space. And then we just go around and share one thing that we're grateful for. And then after we share what we're grateful for, we actually take a note card and write down a word and do an I am statement or an affirmation where I am strong, I am powerful, whatever word is resonating with us for the day. And it has been an incredible, and we do like slightly different versions of that kind of evolves over time. And we go, you know, we kind of switch it up a little bit here and there, but it's always some sort of

experience around connecting with each other, going deep with each other, really asking them what's important for them. What are they, you know, what do they appreciate most? And those are some of the things that just people don't talk about, you know, instead it's like, you know, talking about other people or talking about, you know, just surface level stuff. When you ask somebody, man, you know, I really want to know what's important for you. That is huge. So yeah, that's what we do in our family. And it's, it's just, it's been magical. Yeah. And it's a, it's a culture of gratitude, which is an amazing culture to have. Right. And so, you know, I have a friend who, you know, John Roman and he's an incredible

human. And what he does is, you know, he takes pictures on his phone as of his kids, of his wife, all of that stuff. Every single week, he prints out a picture for each one of his kids and his wife, and then writes them a note on the back of it. You know? So it's like, Hey, I love how much of a great, you know, this, it might be a picture of his, you know, one of his older son putting the helmet of his bike onto his younger son. And he's like, I love how much of a great brother you are. These are the things that their kids are going to have for the next 10, 15, 20 years. And he has, he writes a letter to them every, every single week, prints it out. And then actually I'm like, nice card, not like a piece of paper, like, you know, from a normal printer, he prints it out. It looks nice. Writes him a letter

every single week. So what is the culture that you have in your family? Have you thought about that? Really what we're getting down to here is you can be, you can have a business, you can work in a business. You could be a quote unquote leader. You could have a family, you could have a relationship. That's what you have. But culture is what you do. It is the web that holds everything together. And that's the most important part. And so we got a few different tips for you to really get your, to be able to create and influence more culture in everything that you do. And the first one we think is most important is just grow yourself. Like just be the example. Everything that we've talked about is you stepping up to the plate,

not putting on someone else's shoulders, but saying, you know what? I don't like the culture in my family. I don't like the culture in my business. I don't like the culture in my friendships. I'm going to step up and my energy I know will influence those around me. So I'm going to go ahead and make sure that I work on stepping up myself and show up to my relationships in my business and everything that I do better. Cause when I do, if I show up as the best version of myself, I'm going to allow others and force others around me to show up as the best

version of themselves as well. Yeah. And that that's like the what, right? Where it's like what to do to influence the culture around you is grow yourself, be that example. And then the next one is really like the why. And the why is, you know, you've got to own your influence, meaning that you've got to believe that you can make a bigger impact than you ever thought possible. And, you know, I always think about this. It's like, you know, the, the true culture of a person, the true values of a person, which I think those, those are very, very closely related. You can tell by, uh, what they do when no one's around, right? When you're in front of people or you're around people, right? We always put our best foot forward. We always want to show up the, you know,

the most polished version of, of who we are and really like step up our game. But it's when we're alone that, you know, maybe we don't have that person that's holding us accountable or that community that's holding us accountable to really like have a high standard or a culture of high standards when, when we're, when nobody's watching us. So, you know, it just goes back to this idea of like, what you accept for yourself is what you create around you. And like, you, you know, just the, the belief of knowing that this is going to make an impact when you really just grow yourself and be that version of you where all things are possible for. Yeah. And it's kind of like the phrase, all boats rise with the tide. You know, the higher standard that you hold yourself to,

the higher standard that people around you will start to hold themselves to as well. And so I always, we always say speed of the leader, speed of the team. And the other thing I always say, and you should always say still to this day is if you set yourself on fire, people will come to watch you burn. And I used to say that when I would go up and give team meetings and talks in front of people is like, if I'm on fricking fire and you can sense my energy, you can hear it through the microphone. You can see it in my eyes. You could see it in my face. It's going to make other people step up as well. And if like, say that, for instance, let's go back to a business, right? If you show up at 75% to your business, I guarantee you everyone around you is probably

showing up at 40%. But if I show up at 150%, maybe I'll get everybody 75, 80%. Right. And so, and so what you want to do is you want to show up as the best version of yourself. And then as you're doing that, it brings us to the last tip, which is to invite others in your culture, in your company, to have that high standard. Like you're going to find people that are not going to love the on fire version of you. That's okay. But you're going to find people that are like, hell yeah. Where has this person been? Where has this husband of mine been? Cause that's really hot. That's really great. I love the way that he's stepping up and he's, he's commanding our family and putting these gratitude circles together, whatever it is that you do. And you'll find people in your business that are like

this, this guy's on fire. This woman's on fire. Like this is who I really want to follow. So if you're ever like, Oh yeah, Mike, you know, the people on my team have such low energy. No, you have fucking low energy is what it is, right? Like they're getting it from you. And if you're like, oh yeah, none of my people are doing what they're supposed to do. No, they're learning from you. The speed leader, speed of the team and all boats rise to the tide. You're the freaking tide. So you have to invite other people to grow, to hold themselves to a higher standard and to see who becomes leaders from that moment on. Yeah. Yeah. And actually, as you were saying that, there was an experience that me and Jen had

over the last, really the last couple of weeks. We've got obviously two small kids. And so to keep the house, at least to the standard that we want, is really challenging. And so what we found over time, it's been a year and a half having two, you know, two small kids and it's beat up, beat our standard down a little bit.

And so, you know, when we brought into the awareness of like, Holy cow, we are not holding the hot, the highest standard that, you know, really like that we come alive at, you know, we feel good when, you know, when the house is put together and, you know, every, everything has a place. And so over the last few weeks, I was just reminded of it. Cause you know, I'll be honest, there was a point where I kind of got a little pissed off. I'm like, I can't live like this anymore. But, but then I was like, you know what? I have to embody the, the, I have to set the new culture. I have to set the new standard. And so I started like, you know, going above and beyond and like, you know,

cleaning and tidying and just like, you know, picking up after myself and, and, and really just being like, kind of like overdoing it. But in, as a result of that, it was within just a few days, Jen was like, Hey, uh, like, I love how much love you're putting into our house. And I've been meeting you there and I've been putting a lot of love into our house too. And take a look at what I just did. And she like, you know, went out and bought like all these beautiful things from home goods and like hung them up on the wall. I'm like, that looks amazing. So like things really started happening when I just stepped into a higher standard. And

the other key thing about this too, is that I didn't expect her to go first, right? As, as leaders, we, we have to, we have to be, we have to set the tone. We have to set the speed. We have to set the culture. And so when you step into it, people will come along for the ride and join you. Yep. A hundred percent. So it's very important. What I would say for everybody, get out a pen and paper, go through some of your relationships, go through some of the stuff that the people that you're closest to your friendships, your relationships, your family, your business, and start thinking about the culture that

you have and ask if you want, if it's a culture that you want going into the future. If you say in five years from now, if we had this exact same culture in my family and my business and my relationships and everything that I do, would this be perfect? Or is there more that I want from it? And if there is more that I want from it, and I think that it could be at a higher level, how do I need to show up to all of these things? Because I know that I'm the leader of each of the things that I do. And the more that I show up and the higher that I hold myself, the higher standards I hold myself to, people will do so as well. And if I'm going to want the people around me to grow and become better, I need to be the person that's holding myself to the highest standard possible.

So get out a pen and paper and go through your relationships, go through your business, go through your marketing company, go through everything that you have and realize if you can just turn the lights back to you and put the spotlight on you and say, how can I help myself improve so that I can help others improve? That's when everything will start to shift. So the culture, as we said, each strategy for lunch. So that is what we have for you today. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in it. Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And you can obviously put Dean in there as well. Kaizen Dean. K-A-I-Z-E-N-D-E-A-N. Tag us both in there. The only way that we grow is from you guys sharing it. So we greatly,

greatly appreciate it. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.