The Mindset Mentor - How to Always Be Positive

Episode Date: October 14, 2021

Today we're going to talk about how to always be positive. To be clear, I am not talking about ignoring the negative but actually how to find the positive in every situation, negative or positive. Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial, and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love the show, please do me a favor. Give us a rating and review on iTunes or Apple Podcasts. Just go in. If you love it, give us five stars. Tell us why you love it. I would greatly, greatly appreciate it because it spikes the algorithm and more people can then listen to this because iTunes and Apple Podcasts goes, hey, this is getting a lot of listens and ratings and reviews.

Maybe we should show it to more people organically. So it grows when you guys do that. So I would greatly, greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart if you could take one minute as you're listening to me, pop out your phone and give us a rating review. Thank you. Love you for it. Today, we're going to be talking about how to always be positive. And I want to tell you this, you're not going to be positive forever, all every single second. You're not just going to pop out of bed and be like, oh my God, it's rainbows and sunshine and unicorns dancing on all of these amazing candy canes and stuff like that. Like

life is not like that, but really what it is. And I don't mean, you know, to avoid life in the negativity. A lot of times when I hear in people, people talk to me about what I do, they're like, oh, is it about always being positive and, and all of that stuff? I'm like, ah, not really. Like I don't consider myself a motivational speaker in any sort of way. I consider myself someone who just is practical. That's really what I think. But I want to talk about from a practical standpoint, how can we find the positive in everything? Because here's the thing, life is good sometimes, life is bad sometimes, but, you know, but the majority of the time, life is just kind of in between. And when we can find the positive in the good, we can find the positive in the bad, and we can find the positive in between, we can

make a positive life. So when I say how to always be positive, I don't mean like you're just going to be shitting rainbows forever. What I mean by that is that when you wake up, I wake up sometimes and I'm just stressed out. And I feel like I wake up and there's anxiety that I have. I could keep that forever. And I could keep that the rest of the day. Or I can use some strategies to save myself and save my day. So that therefore I don't have to be anxious an entire day. But you know, you can be anxious for 20 minutes, 15 minutes.

And it's hard right now. You guys have to realize it's hard right now. Because the news, the media, the social media, holy shit, it's getting out of control. I would just say this, stop watching the news. If you watch it, stop looking at papers, unfollow a ton of people and look at your social media and look at the people that you surround yourself with as people that are supporting you in the mindset that you're trying to build. And if they don't support you in the mindset, they're trying to build. And if they don't support you in the mindset they're trying to build, they got to go. They got a GTFO. That's just the way that it works. So whenever I dive into this, I'm not trying to say ignore any negativity. I'm not trying to say

ignore any negativity at all. What I'm trying to say is, can you actually focus on the negativity, break it down, and try to flip it into something that you can get benefits from. That's what I'm saying. So most people are like, oh, when you're talking about always how to be positive, you're just ignoring the negative. No, no, no, no, no. I'm actually about talking about diving deeper into the negative so that therefore I can find the positive in the negative. You know, because if you look at the things that have happened in your life, we talk about this all the time here, don't we? There's a lot of stuff that's happened to you in your life that wasn't the best. It wasn't the most amazing thing. And as you were going through it, I guarantee you didn't want to be going through it.

But now you look back and you're like, I wouldn't change anything because I learned a lot through that process. And so when you're going through that, like I can look back and say, you know, I always tell people the best day of my life and the worst day of my life was the same day. It was the day my father died. When I was 15, he passed away and it was the best day of my life and the worst day of my life was the same day. It was the day my father died. When I was 15, he passed away and it was the worst day of my life. Obviously, you could understand why. But it was also the best day of my life because I was able to get so much meaning from my father's passing away. Like I would not be talking to you right now.

I would not do what I do. I would not feel as fulfilled as I feel with my life if he didn't pass away. Now, do I wish he was still here? Yeah. But would I reverse anything? Honestly, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Because I love what has happened and transpired since that. And I was able to pull the positivity from it. And I remember that, you know, and you may have heard this story before. I don't tell it too, too often, but it's probably been a couple of years since I've said this, but I remember about, you know, my sister's birthday is on the 24th. My dad died on the 1st of both of them on November. So 23 days after my father's death, I remember being in the car with my mom, my sister,

and we were talking about it. My mom was like, Hey, what do you know? So it's been a few weeks. What do you think about your father's death? And I remember specifically saying to her, it's like burned into my head. I said, I think that if dad were to understand how much good is going to come from this, he'd actually be good and okay with passing away. Like I remember from that moment, being 15 years old, being like, I'm not going to die with this being a bad thing.

I'm going to work and turn this bad thing into a positive thing. And I wasn't like the smartest, most motivational driven kid either back then. I was a lazy ass 15 year old, if I'm being honest with you. I didn't know what I was doing in my life. So it wasn't like I knew I was going to be doing what I'm doing now. But even back then, I was trying to take something that was really, really bad and figure out a way to turn it into good. And that's what we're going

to talk about today. And that's what I want you to try to get from today is that no matter what you're going through right now, no matter what you've gone through, no matter what you might go through, there's always ways to find positivity in the negative. There's always positive in the negative. I promise you that. So we're going to dive into two different aspects of it. We're going to talk about internal negativity, and we're also going to talk about external negativity. Okay. We're going to talk about how to clear house of the negativity. So let's talk about the internal negativity first. You may have heard me say this, but there's a great example that's given in a book called

As a Man Thinketh. It's like a really, really old motivational book. And As a Man Thinketh, he uses the example as your mind being a garden. And what he says is that you can't take strawberry seeds, plant them into the ground, and expect that tomatoes are going to grow. We all know that that's ridiculous to plant strawberry seeds and expect that somehow you're going to get tomatoes that are going to grow. You're not going to be able to plant certain seeds and get other seeds. That's just a fact of life. We understand that. So why would you think

that you can constantly be negative, that you can talk down to yourself, that you can beat yourself up, you could talk shit to yourself, that you can talk yourself up. You could talk shit to yourself, that you can talk crap about other people in your head, and that you're just going to have this beautiful life. You're just, there's no way to have so much negativity happening inside of your mind that you're just going to have positivity that comes from it in the external world. And so when I'm talking about internal negativity, I'm talking about switching yourself talk. I'm talking about switching the judgment that you have for other people. I'm talking about switching your self-talk. I'm talking about switching the judgment that you have for other people. I'm talking about switching the way that you talk about the world, about other people, about yourself, about everything inside of your own

head. That's what I mean by the internal negativity. You can't have negative thoughts, seeds, in your head and just think that you're going to have a positive life. The same way that you can't plant strawberry seeds and expect that tomatoes are going to grow. And here's the thing that I have to, I have to be honest with you. You can't always control your first thought. I swear to you guys, people think that because I'm like the mindset mentor, they think that I'm just like, you know, I'm just the most positive frigging person in the world. And there is nothing crazy that goes to my head. That nothing could be further from the truth. There's so many times that I'm literally sitting and I'm like, where in the fuck

did that thought just come from? Like, I don't know where it came from. And it happens quite often where I'm sitting there and then just somebody walks by me and it's like a judgment shot. And I'm like, who said that? Like, I never, I don't think that of this person. Where did that come from?

Like, I'm like, where did that thought come from? That thought didn't come from my head. And so what I always say is that you can't judge yourself for your first thought and you can't always control your first thought, but you can always control your second thought. And so you've probably heard me say this before, but for those of you guys that haven't, I have to give the example of what I do whenever I find myself automatically going to judgment or something towards somebody is I then have to stop myself and I have to replace that judgmental or negative thought about myself or about somebody else or

about a situation or whatever it is. And I have to replace it with three positive thoughts. So let's say for instance, there's somebody walks by me and an immediately a judgment thought comes into my head. I have to then consciously tell myself three positive things about the person or find three positive things about that person or find three positive things about that person, even if I don't know them. And so that's what I mean by you have to control the internal negativity, the internal dialogue, the story, the narrative that you're telling yourself all day, every day needs to change. And that's what I mean by that. You can't always control your first thought. You can always control your second thought. I don't know. I'm

being honest with you. I don't know where the first thought comes from. You know what I'm talking about. There's thoughts in your head and you're like, you ever been talking to somebody and you're like, what if I just threw up right now? Like that would be so awkward. You ever, I don't, am I the only one who thinks that? I'm like, what if, what if something like, and I just think of like the weirdest thing. I'm like, where the hell did that come from? Like, I'm not thinking that. Some weird place, some weird, I don't know. I guess it is me thinking, I don't know guys, but you understand what I'm saying. There's thoughts that we have that don't seem like we actually control them. They just fly in from the back and they take place. When that happens, don't go, oh my God, I'm judging somebody else again. Oh my God. And

being negative to myself again. Oh my God, I'm judging a situation again. Don't look at it that way. Look at it very objectively and say, okay, yep, I see that. I see that negative thought. Yep. I see that judgmental thought. I don't like it. I don't want it to be here anymore. I'm going to, you know, literally have my second thought come through and I'm going to be very intentional about my second thought is going to be, it is going to be this. And you have to realize it's about growing. It's about learning. Everything is a lesson. All of your failures, all of those are lessons. All of the deaths that have happened in your life that you wish wouldn't have happened. All of the relationships that ended, all of those things are all lessons. Whether it was

you messed up in a relationship, somebody cheated on you, somebody screwed you over, all of those things are lessons so that you can grow and improve and get better. Hey, wouldn't it be great if there was a pocket-sized app that helped you sleep, focus, act, and just be better? Well, there is. And if you have 10 minutes, Headspace can change your life. Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations in an easy-to-use app. And Headspace is one of the only meditation apps advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation through clinically validated research. So whatever the situation, Headspace really can help you feel better. Do you feel

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$99 a month. It's month-to-month, no hidden fees, cancel anytime. Let Bambi help you with your free HR audit today. Go to bambi.com slash dial right now to schedule a free HR audit. That's bambi.com slash dial, B-A-M-B-E-E.com slash dial. Life is a class. It's as Ram Dass always says, you're here as a human, you might as well take the curriculum. There's a lesson, there's a class that we're supposed to be going through we're supposed to be learning with every single thing that we do Are you extracting the lesson in every single thing that you do in life? Whatever it is is not happening to you. It's happening for you and when you really start to switch the negative Dialogue of oh my gosh. Why did this happen to me? Why this happened?

Why this happened to me and start thinking of it from this is like God or the universe doing this thing for me. God is bringing me this person who is a cheater so that I can know later on in my life what I don't want so that I can find someone who is loyal so that I can notice the red flags before they happen, right? Everything that's happening is happening for you, not to you. And when I say for you, what I mean by that is that there is a lesson in everything and you've got to stop resisting your reality. This is another big part of how to always be positive is to stop resisting your reality. Stop thinking to yourself, oh yeah, well, this is, I'm just, I've got all of this stuff going on and it's it shouldn't be this

way I want her to act this way I want him to act this way I want my job to be this way my bank account to be this way I want my children to be this way it's ridiculous to me the amount of anxiety and stress and worry that people are going through some of you listening right now are going through because the fact that you're just resisting your reality. You know, I always say the amount of stress, worry, and anxiety that you're going through will be in direct proportion to how much you're resisting the way that the world is. Let me say that again so you can just kind of let that one come in. The amount of anxiety and stress and worry that you have are going to be in direct proportion to how much you are

resisting the way that the world is. When you can accept that the world is the way that it is, that your reality is the way that it is currently, and you can go, okay, maybe this isn't the reality that I want right now. Maybe this isn't the life that I currently want, but I can accept it because when I can accept it, I can then go and decide that I can change what my reality is going to be in the future. We all have control problems. That's one thing I've come to the realization of. One of my most advanced groups that I work with, we spent an entire month, weekly calls, talking about control problems. And every single person realize that they have control problems. They want to control other people. They want to control the world's circumstances. They want to

control the freaking weather. They want to control what's happening with COVID. They want to control what's happening with the mandates, with the masks, with the vaccines, with all of those things. They want to control it. And I get it. I understand because I've realized through a psychedelic experience years and years ago that I have control problems. But I also realized that if I don't let go of my control problems, I'm going to run my life into the ground. And when we have control problems, we have worry. We worry because it's not the way that we want it to be. And we want it to be a different way.

We have stress because we have control problems. Because it's not the way that we want it to be. And we're stressed out. We're white knuckling our life because of the fact that this person is not acting the way that I want them to act. This person I work with is not acting the way that I want them to act. You know, we have anxious thoughts because we have control problems. We have the stress.

We have the worry. We have the anxiety because we want to be able to control everything. And you've heard me say before, you control almost nothing. We can barely control our own minds. You can barely control your own freaking bowels after taco Tuesday, right? We control almost nothing. And when you got to try to control anything externally from you, shit, that's when it gets really hard. So that brings us to the next part. We talked about the internal negativity. Let's talk about the external negativity. How can we get rid of as much external negativity as possible? So, you know, what I mean by that? All right, let's look at the news. Do you have to watch the news? 99.9% of you out there listening right now don't have to watch the news. And in reality,

the news is not keeping you informed. The news is keeping you conformed. And it's not telling you a lot of truth. And I'm not on any side. I'm not on any right side or left side or any political side or any of those things. What I do know is that the news is full of shit. And it is really, really good at making you feel bad. And so when I say external negativity, turn the news off. That's not the best way to stay informed.

And in reality, you could go through the next year of your life and probably not watch the news and your life would be a whole hell of a lot better. I just promise you that one. And I know the majority of you listening probably don't listen to the news anyways, but that's the first thing that pops into my head. What about people that you follow on Instagram? I will tell you what, everybody. I have gone on a mission over the past two to three months of unfollowing people. And it's freaking, I feel so much better. I didn't realize how much stress and worry and anxiety was coming through some of my friends that I actually hang out with on Instagram. Like people that I know in real life, not like following political leaders or anything like that, but actually people that I know

and seeing their opinions and talking about how the world's going to hell. And then I'm like, oh my God, is the world going to hell? Oh my God, is there a food shortage? Oh my God, is this happening? You know, is the alien race coming over to take us over? You know, it's like all these things that could possibly pop up. And I'm like, when I just started unfollowing people, when I went, ooh, yeah, no, we can't, we can't hang out on Instagram anymore. Got rid of them. My stress went down like 25%, just like that. Easy. So that's what I mean by external negativity. What about the people that you hang out with? Are the people that you hang out with, they bring you external negativity. Can you spend less time with them? You guys have heard me say this a million

times. Your network determines your net worth. You're going to be like the top five people you spend the most time with. If you're hanging out with five alcoholics, you're going to be the sixth. If you're hanging out with five people who are fit, you're going to be the sixth. If you're hanging out with five millionaires, you're going to be the sixth. You have to figure out a way to surround yourself with the people who are going to support you towards building the future that you want. If you look at somebody and you say, do I want to be like them in the future? And the answer is no. You probably don't want to hang out with them. Just telling you, just being honest with you. You probably don't want to spend a whole lot of time with them. Think of your top five.

How can you spend more time with people who are just the type of people that you want to be like, or you want to grow with over the next five years? So what else we got? We got your mind is the most important thing to work on. Your mind is like a muscle. All of the stuff that we're going through right now in the world is like a gym for your mind. If you can figure out a way to calm yourself, to be peaceful, to be joyous, to be happy with all of the things that seem to be happening in this world right now. It is literally like training your mind, going to a gym for your mind because you're working on yourself. You're working on your peace, your joy. It is like lifting heavier, going to the gym simply by all the things that are happening in the world right now. And you figuring out a way to go,

you know what, through all of the storm, I'm going to be the calm in the middle of it. I'm going to be peaceful and joyful. I'm going to get rid of all the external negativity. And I'm going to be the calm in the middle of it. I'm going to be peaceful and joyful. I'm going to get rid of all the external negativity and I'm going to find peace and joy and happiness within myself. It's about taking all of the negativity. Is there any music that you listen to? Like hardcore music, maybe some rap lyrics that say things that you really like the beat, but you're like, ah, I would never actually say that to my mom, right? Or I would never say that to someone who I respect, or I would never actually say that to myself. Okay. Maybe not the best thing to listen to. You know, what about other stuff you watch on TV? Are there some, you know, news, like I said, you got to turn off. Is there some reality

TV that you shouldn't watch anymore? What about the games that you play? You play video games? What type of stuff are you playing on those video games? You know, I'm just being honest with you. I used to play a lot of video games as a kid. I haven't played a video game in probably six or seven years. I used to be a little kid and be like, I don't understand why, you know, playing video games where you're shooting people is a big deal. Now that I'm 35 years old, I'm like, why in the fuck was I ever allowed to play video games where I was shooting people? And you know, my mom never knew it was happening, but why do they make video games for children where you could shoot people? And I feel like an old man saying, I'm like, oh, they shouldn't be shooting people in these games. And not back

in my day that we never did that. I did do that back in my day. But now that I'm older, I'm like, how in the hell? Like I would never go out and shoot a bunch of people on the street. Why would I want to do something like that in a video game? Think about that for a second. Isn't that interesting? I've thought deeply about it and be like, yeah, that's not the right thing to do. I don't want to go through the streets and start blasting people. I used to love playing Grand Theft Auto, stealing cars and running people over and shooting them and all that stuff. That was a game that I played when I was a teenager. And I'm like, how is that game even a thing? Is that the person that I want to be in real life? Is that the one that I want to

play in the video games? I get it. It's fictional. It's not real, but you got to start thinking about these things. How does everything that I do change my brain, change my mindset, change my stress, my anxiety, my worry, my fear, my happiness, my joy, my peace, all of those things. You have to start looking at your entire life and saying, okay, how can I remove as much negativity as possible? And then how can I find the positive in every single thing that happens? Because I promise you, whether you can see it right now or whether it has to be years down the road, you'll find some positive inside of everything if you simply just look for it. And that's how you always be positive, not from ignoring the negative, but from realizing that your life is built

for you to learn, to grow. And your life is for you. It's happening for you. Everything is happening for you. There's nothing happening to you. You are not a victim of your circumstance. You're here to thrive. You just have to figure out what it is that you need to do

to be able to create an environment for you to thrive. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me at RobDialJr. You can also follow all of the traveling that I'm doing in Italy right now. RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.

That's where I'm sharing all of it. And that's where I connect with all my listeners is on Instagram as well. So follow me on there. And I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you.

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