The Mindset Mentor - How to Be Consistent: A Simple Secret to Personal Development

Episode Date: August 6, 2025

Are you tired of starting and stopping your goals? In this episode, I’ll show you how to finally stay consistent using the 90/90/1 rule—so you can build unstoppable habits, shift your identity, and follow through no matter what. Are you ready to stop procrastinating and break your bad habits? If so, I just opened the doors to Mindset 2.0—my full system to help you break through fear, rewire your identity, and follow through like never before. Click here 👉 https://www.coachwithrob.com/enroll-aThe Mindset Mentor™ podcast is designed for anyone desiring motivation, direction, and focus in life. Past guests of The Mindset Mentor include Tony Robbins, Matthew McConaughey, Jay Shetty, Andrew Huberman, Lewis Howes, Gregg Braden, Rich Roll and Dr Steven Gundry.   Here are some useful links for you…  If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here: Instagram  TikTok Facebook Youtube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you love this podcast, do me a favor. Share this episode or your favorite episode with one person today. All we're trying to do is grow and impact more people. And the more people that share it, the more people that we can impact.

So if you do that, I'd greatly appreciate it. Today, I'm going to talk to you about how to be consistent. And success doesn't come from something that you do sometimes. Success comes from something that you do consistently, something that you do every single day. And I'm going to be real with you with most people that I see. Most people don't have a motivation problem. Most people don't have a mindset problem. Most people don't have a time problem.

When it comes down to their success in life, they really have a consistency and follow-through problem. you know you've probably if you're like most people started and stopped more things than you can count where you're like i'm going to lose weight this time this new year new me i'm definitely going to do it and then four months later you're still in the exact same place you know you've told yourself like hey this time it's going to be different i'm going to do it i'm going to follow through and then you've watched yourself ghost yourself on your goals two weeks later right and it's It's frustrating, isn't it? Like, it's frustrating to want to be somewhere, to want to be different, but feel like

you're just self-sabotaging and spinning your wheels and keeping yourself in the exact same position. So why does this happen? And then how do we actually change it? Well, the most successful people that I know are usually not even close to the smartest people that I know. They're not the most motivated. Some of them don't even wake up until 10 o'clock.

So it's not like they're the ones that wake up early this in the morning. It's not any of that. They are the most consistent. That's what I have found. They wake up and they do the same boring shit day after day after day until they finally hit the destination they've been working towards, whether that's three months from now, whether that's three years from now. They have this mindset of I will do everything that I need to do every day, day in, day

day in, day out until I get to where I need to be. And that could be health and fitness. It can be business. It could be money. It could be success. Many different things. They are the most consistent. They do what needs to be done every single day, even when they don't want to do it. And so today I'm going to show you a very simple rule, a trick that you can use that psychologists say is one of the best ways to stay consistent. And it's called the 9091 rule. So 90, 91. and it's incredibly simple and if you do it will actually reshape your identity of who you think you are it'll change your brain and your entire relationship with focus and follow through so let's go ahead and break it down when you look at consistency why do we struggle it's you know it's usually not a discipline

issue it's more of a pattern issue within ourself and so there's a lot more happening under the surface number one one of the things that i find is that most people are addicted to novelty not mastery So your brain is wired to crave something new, new goals, new planners, new routines, new meditation, whatever it is that you're going to be doing. But if you're trying to master something, you have to be repetitive. Mastery requires repetition in the brain. That's how you master something. It's slow. It's boring. It doesn't come with, you know, fireworks and high fives. Like, if I look at people who I know have mastered things, like first person popped into my head when I thought about somebody who does the same thing day in, day out, when you look at

Steph Curry, who is arguably one of the top 10, if not five basketball players ever, 100% the best shooter that's ever lived, for the past 15 years, he's been playing, he's been doing the exact same 90-minute routine pre-game before every single game. The exact same thing for 90 minutes before a game starts for 50. years straight. Another example, I remember watching an interview one time with Dwayne Wade, and he was talking about one of the first times that Kobe Bryant came and played in Miami as a Laker. And he was watching him and his, Dwayne Wade was watching Kobe Bryant do his routine. And Kobe Bryant would take it at the top of the key. He would go over to the left

side, right at the elbow, and he would shoot the shot. He'd go back to the exact same spot, go to the left elbow, shoot the shot. Same thing, over and over and he watched him do the exact same thing for 30 minutes straight. And Dwayne Wade was like, I got this. I know exactly what Kobe Bryant's going to do. And he said that even though he knew exactly what he was going to do, he still could not stop him. And the reason why was because Kobe Bryant had mastered that thing. He had done the exact same boring routine tens of thousands of times. And even though Dwayne Wade knew exactly who's going to do, he still couldn't stop him. And so our brain likes novelty and likes dopamine spikes and newness and all of that. So when the honeymoon phase of doing something

new ends, your brain says, oh, let's find, let's find a new shiny object. Like I see this all the time with business owners. Like they, they just can't focus on doing the same boring thing every single day to grow their business. It's always new shine. It's called SOS, shiny objects. It's oh, oh, this new thing. Oh, I could try this marketing with, oh, I could do this thing. And they try so many new things. What happens? Business fails because they never master anything. So that's the first thing. The second thing is that you might be using your feelings as a compass. You might be waiting for the feeling to show up, for the motivation to show up. Oh my gosh, motivation is what I'm waiting for. Oh, here it is. Right. Like motivation's like a wave. Like it's in and it's out and it's in and it's out and you

can't rely on it. Identity though, which is what we're going to be talking about today is how to change your identity around this. Identity is an anchor. Like, I am the type of person who is consistent. Consistency is about never missing. It's about keeping small promises long enough to rewrite your story about yourself and to change your identity. You know, if you only act when you feel like acting, and only take action when you feel like taking action, your life becomes this like emotional weather report. Like, you're just, it's unpredictable, it's unstable. You're, you're, some days it's raining, some days it's not, some days it's shine. It's like, no, no matter what's going on, I'm going to do this thing every single day. You don't need to be the type of person who takes

action when you feel like it. You need to be the type of person where you do the hard thing every day no matter what. And so when you look at the 90-91 rule, it's incredibly simple. And so don't confuse simple with easy though. This is what it is. For the next 90 days, spend 90 minutes, like the first 90 minutes of your day focused on one thing, which is your most important task. So 90 days, first 90 minutes, focus on one thing, which is your most important task for the day. It's quite simple. And it's not like, oh, this is just a time block in my schedule. No, like, this is a ritual for you. It's a non-negotiable appointment with your future self of the life you're building. And one thing that you need if you're a person's working on your

own success or money or business or body, whatever it might be, is you need daily non-negotiables. Hey, if I get hit by a truck, I'm getting this done. This 90-91 needs to actually be a daily non-negotiable for you. This is what I'm going to do no matter what. So basically it looks like this. You wake up in the morning. You end up doing, you know, say your 90 minutes that you're going to be focusing on is in your business every single day. So what you decide to do is you say, okay, I'm going to wake up. I'm going to have my, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to brush my teeth. I'm going to have my water, my hydration. I'm going to do my 15-minute meditation, and then I'm going to be ready to start. So what I'm going to do is I'm going

to do my 90 minutes of deep work in my business. And you just do that every single day, day in, day out for the next 90 days. You could do anything for 90 days. You don't have to do it forever. You can do anything for 90 days. The deeper psychology behind why all of this works is beyond just like time management one of the biggest reasons why it works is because for you it's going to remove decision fatigue every time that you have to take a step back and ask yourself like, what should I do today

or what should I do right now? You burn energy in your brain. You burn willpower. In the 9091 rule, it just ends the debate. There's no negotiation. There's no chasing fires. There's no, what should I do today? It's, I know what I'm doing today.

I don't need to think about it. And it's the same when you see people like, you know, sometimes those tech guys wear the exact same thing every single day. They're just trying to not have another thing to decide. They're trying to put all the brain power into one thing. So what you're doing is you're creating focus within yourself. You're putting all of your brain power into one thing and you're doing what Cal Newport calls deep work. And this is where discipline stops feeling like restriction and it starts feeling like freedom. Like this is really up to me and I can do anything that I want to in these 90 minutes to change my life. And whatever you decide is the right thing for you. The less decisions

that you can make each day, the better. I remember reading an article years ago, and it was saying that Jeff Bezos only makes three decisions every single day. He goes into the office and he has three decisions, but there are three really big decisions that he makes every single day. So that's number one. The second reason why it works really well is because it leverages your brain's peak state. So cognitive science shows that your prefrontal cortex, which is, if you've been this podcast for all, you've heard me talk about it many times. It's the part of your brain responsible for decision making and planning. It is at its freshest early in the day. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. Well, then I probably want to use it as when it's at its freshest, right? That means that

you have fewer distractions. You have sharper thinking. You have less resistance. And so if that's the case, why would I want to wait until later on in the day to do my most important work? I mean, it's like trying to run a marathon after leg day. No, you've already exhausted your legs. You don't want to do that. And so what you want to do is you want to take action while you still have a lot of mental energy and mental bandwidth. And there was a study that was done in 2012 by Blake Moore and Robbins that showed that the prefrontal cortex functioning is at its strongest in the early part of the day, especially for complex tasks involving strategy and focus. which is exactly why 9091 is perfect for in the morning.

Now, I'm not saying it needs to be the very first thing you do in the morning like you wake up and immediately start working, saying once you get past your morning routine, your brain is woken up a little bit and now you're in focus mode, make it in that moment. It could be 9 a.m. for you, it could be 10 a.m. for you, whatever it might be. That's the second thing. The third thing that's really important about this is it builds identity-based consistency. So behavioral psychology is really clear in this. We act in a line, with who we believe we are. Not who we are, who we believe we are. So when you commit to the same action every morning, you're not just being productive, you are, but you're also saying I'm the

type of person who shows up. I protect what matters. I keep my word to myself. I follow through no matter what. And if you do this long enough, it changes who you think you are. So if you think that you're lazy, and that you don't work hard. If you do this every single day and your brain sees you showing up every single day for 90 days in a row, your brain has to go, huh, maybe my lazy identity,

that doesn't actually fit the narrative of what's going on here. Like it doesn't fit. There's some sort of cognitive dissonance here. Like, I say to myself that I'm lazy, but I'm seeing myself show up and work really hard every single day. I'm going to have to let go of this lazy identity.

and so identity is just who you think you are based off of what you've seen yourself do in the past and identity shifts based off of what you do so if you want your identity to be different in the future you need to take different actions today and in the future and then in the future a year from today whatever might be when you look backwards your identity would be different because you will have taken different actions so this is how you you start really being consistent and actually change your identity of yourself. There's a thing that's called identity-based habits theory. It's rooted in cognitive dissonance theory.

And it shows that repeated actions shape self-concept. Self-concept is who we think we are. So when we repeat actions over and over again, it shapes our self-concept of who we think we are. And once that becomes part of our identity, here's the key part. Once that becomes part of our identity, the behavior becomes automatic and natural.

holy shit, that's pretty crazy. So in psychology, it actually shows that if we continue to do something over and over and over again, it will eventually become part of our identity. And when it becomes part of our identity, the behavioral becomes natural and automatic. And so that's pretty important. And if we think we're the type of person eventually, if we could brainwash yourself and to think of where the type of person who's consistent, we will continue to show up and be consistent every single day. and so let's talk about how to implement like let's get practical with it right um let's do this without any overwhelm the first thing you're going to do this is super simple number one you're just going to pick your one thing like this is your keystone habit that moves the dial you know on your in your goals and in your

life it is the what i like to call the biggest lever in your life like if i could pull one lever that changed my life in my business or in my fitness or in my health or whatever might be for you this is it that's the keystone habit that you want and so you've got to ask yourself like, what would make everything in my business easier or unnecessary? Or what make everything in my health easier or unnecessary? You know, what do I avoid because it's important and hard? What would I still care about if I didn't have any external validation? You know, what's the biggest thing that I can do every day for the next 90 days to move the needle in my life. So it could be something like writing 500 words for your book every morning. You do that for

90 days. What is that? 45,000 words? That's about twice what the average book is. That sounds like a pretty good idea. 500 words every single morning. It could be something like creating content for your brand every single morning. It could be learning a skill that you've been avoiding. It could be training your body every single morning. It could be training your brain every single morning. So it could be like a hardcore workout or a run or weightlifting, or it could be meditating and just training your body and your brain to just sit and chill. So that's the first thing is to figure out exactly what's going to be. Number two, choose your 90 minute block. Make it sacred. Make it mean something. This is important. And then make it the first thing that you do on your workday before

email and other people pull you in. And so what you're going to do? Let's say it's 90 minutes, 9.30 a.m. every single day from 930 to 11. Cool. You get to the office. You say hi to everybody. You do what you need to do. And then everybody knows from 932.11, Jeff is in there. He's getting a stuff done. Don't come in. And you're going to put your phone. You're going to turn your phone off. You're going to put in your desk drawer or put in another room. You're going to use noise canceling headphones. You're going to put on songs like, you know, just slow EDM songs with no lyrics. in it or piano songs, whatever it is, use the same song just that keeps playing over and over again. And then your deep work is your uninterrupted time blocks where you're going to sit down and make this a ritual and this ritual is going to change your life. So that's the second thing. Number three is to actually track the days every single day. And so use a physical calendar. You could use notion if you want to, but I prefer a physical calendar that you put on your wall. I got this from Jerry Seinfeld. He didn't tell me this, but I've seen.

they call it the Seinfeld calendar. When Jerry Seinfeld was, you know, really starting to become famous, another new comment came up to him. He's like, hey, Jerry, like I'm working on myself. I'm trying to become better. What do I do? And Jerry said, just write jokes every single day. Every day. You're going to write a bunch of crappy jokes, but just write jokes every single day. Eventually, you're going to get some good ones out of it. And then what you do is you have a calendar, you put it on your wall. And whenever you end up writing jokes for that day, you put a big red X on that day. And then what happens is you start to see a chain of X. X's and you don't want to break the chain. And so you actually have drive to keep that chain going.

So every day, you just put a red X through it. And this creates this consistency chain. And you want yourself to hate breaking the chain. And so, you know, Jerry Seinfeld is actually quoted saying, don't break the streak. And there was a study was done in 2009 that showed that repeating an activity daily for approximately 66 days builds automacy, making it the action, making the action itself more habitual and effort-free over time. So it actually becomes more automatic and natural for you. So that's step number three. And then step number four, just plan for resistance.

You know, here's what's going to happen. You're going to get bored. You're going to want to skip a day. You're going to want to convince yourself that it's not working. That's your comfort zone, throwing a tantrum. Your job is not to avoid the resistance because you're going to feel the resistance from matter what. Your job is to expect the resistance, to normalize the resistance.

and to decide to do it anyways. You're not going to want to do it. Guess what? Nobody wants to do it. Join the club. Everybody feels this way. You're not out of the ordinary, but you need to be a type of person that does it anyways.

Now, you might ask yourself, like, what do I do if I fall off? Okay, you will miss days. That's not failure, it's feedback. That's the important thing. If you miss one day, fine. Investigate. Just don't miss two days in a row.

You know, investigate. What did I do? What did I not do? how can I make sure I don't miss it tomorrow? These missteps where you miss a day use as data so that you can make sure that you don't do it again. You know, revisit your wife, re-anchor yourself in your routine.

Remember, the goal is not perfection. The goal is to be as consistent as we possibly can. Not to be consistent 100% of days until the day we die, but to be consistent as we possibly can. And if you do this, you're going to start to notice. Your mornings are going to feel really powerful. Your focus is going to last longer. You don't need to motivate yourself.

because you're just going to do it anyways. You just do the thing. And you've collected enough data points over 90 days to go, huh, you know what, maybe I can trust myself. Maybe I am the type of person that follows through. You'll have more confidence in yourself. You'll have built more self-trust. Consistency becomes who you are.

And that's the most important part of it. If you can become consistent in your identity, you will change your world. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share our Instagram stories. Tag me in it. Rob Diald Jr., R-B-D-I-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A.

LJR. And if you want to learn more about coaching with me outside of the podcast, go to coach with rob.com. Check it out. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.