The Mindset Mentor - How to Be Happier

Episode Date: October 14, 2020

Want to be happier? In this episode, I will teach you a simple strategy to be happier.Follow me on Instagram for more inspiration --> https://instagram.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dyle. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And if I could ask one thing of you, if you are listening to me on iTunes, or if you're listening to me on Apple, you know, if you have an iPhone, if you're listening to me on Apple podcast, go ahead and give a rating and review to this podcast. I promise you it helps way more than you possibly could imagine. So if you go out and you give us a really great review and a great rating, it actually boosts us in the algorithm so that more people can organically find this. So if you've ever loved anything that I've said out there, I would greatly, greatly,

greatly appreciate it. If you just go ahead and give a quick rating and review on iTunes. Today, we're going to talk about how to be happier. Oh my God, doesn't that sound amazing? Doesn't everybody just want to be happier? Of course. We're going to talk about how to bring more happiness into your life. Not how to create more happiness, but how to bring in the happiness based off of what you concentrate on. And people always ask me, one of the main questions I get from people is about my meditation. What do I do for meditation? It's funny. I feel like an influencer. People are like, oh, a lot of people have been asking about my skincare routine. You're like, nobody's actually asked about your skincare routine. What you really want to do is just promote your product. My girlfriend the other day was watching an influencer and we heard her

say, a lot of people have been asking about my infant's mattress. And we're like, nobody has asked you about your infant's mattress. That's just you trying to post an ad out there. So, so, uh, people always actually do ask me about my meditation. So I feel like an influencer, but people always do ask me about it. And that's what I want to talk to you about is something that I've been doing intentionally every single day to kind of set myself up to feel better throughout the day. And one thing that I've noticed is I feel so much better, infinitely better if I do this every single morning. And it's just part of my meditation. And that's what I'm going to tell you guys about because people always ask like, what do you do for meditation? Do you do transcendental meditation? Do you do

mantras? Do you do affirmations? And yeah, I do some of those. But one of the main things I do is just this, is I try to wake up every single morning. And then what I try to do is I try to meditate on what I am grateful for, because I believe that whatever I put focus on, I will get more of. So if I focus on all of the things that could be going wrong in my life, which there's always things that are going wrong in everybody's life, I feel like I'm going to get more things that are going wrong in my life. If I focus on everything that I'm grateful for, I feel like I'm going to get more things that are going wrong in my life. If I focus on everything that I'm grateful for, I feel like I'm going to find more things to be grateful for. So I try to wake up each morning and meditate just on gratitude. Now, I do realize, and I think I have an incredible life,

and I love my life. And like, for instance, we're in Sedona right now. We're in Sedona traveling. It's easy to be grateful for being in Sedona and for the life that I've built. But what I try to do is be grateful for those things, but also to find things that I normally wouldn't make myself feel grateful for. So like for instance, I'm really grateful for my health. I've been really, really lucky. And this

is what I was thinking about this morning is I've been really lucky to, you know, not have any crazy health issues personally in myself. I've never broken any bones. I've never had any crazy health issues. I've never had to, you know, go to the doctor, suffer a few times for checkups. I've never had any surgeries, any of those things. And so I was thinking about how grateful I am for my health. And then it started getting way more, like way more obscure. And so I, I, just so you know, I try to eat almost no meat. I'm not perfect, but I try to eat no meat. Listen, if you want to eat meat, no big deal. If you don't want to meet, no big deal. Just my own personal preference for just my own conscious reasons. I try to eat as little meat as possible.

And what happened was I was thinking about how grateful I was for my health this morning. And I was really starting to feel grateful about all of these things. Man, I've had so, I've been so lucky in my entire life to have great health. And then I started thinking about how I've also really paid attention to what I've eaten and how often I work out and how much water I get for years and years and years and how I switch from eating a lot of meat to eating almost no meat. I started thinking about that and then my brain went to, what if I could just be grateful for every animal that I've ever eaten that's given its life for me? I was like, I've never thought about that before and so I started thinking. I

was like, I'm going to be grateful for every animal that gave its life for me because that animal, if you think about it now lives inside of me, like I, that I have become that animal, that animal has become me like everything that that animal ate its whole past. Everything is now in me and created me. And that's a crazy thing to think about. And so I started thinking, I'm so grateful for all of these because I've probably eaten thousands of animals in my lifetime. Like I'm 34 years old. I've eaten a lot of animals in my lifetime. So how many animals, how many fish gave their life for me? How many different types of birds gave their life for me? How many deer gave their life for me? How many cows gave their life? How many different animals? And I thought about it. I was

like thousands. And I was like, what would it look like if I had all of those animals in front of me right now, my entire life, it would be insane to see. And then I started thinking about it. Oh my God, if I wouldn't have, if these animals wouldn't have died for me, for me to be able to eat, they probably would have reproduced. So how many animals were not born because their parent or could be parent gave their life for me to be able to eat it. And I went through this whole thing of like, holy crap, I'm so freaking grateful to be able to eat, to be able to have my health and for all of the animals that have given their life for me and all the animals that could have been that weren't because there could be parent gave their life for me. And I was like, wow, this is, this is insane. Like if you really think about this and then I

multiplied it, there's billions of people that eat animals every single day and I started thinking about these numbers. I was like, this is insane. Like how can I not be grateful for this? And I got to my meditation day and I was like, wow, that was intense.

Like there was a lot of gratitude that came from that and there was a little bit of sadness of like, wow, there's a lot of animals that didn't live or stopped living because of me. But there was also just, just the gratitude of all of those animals now live inside of me and have, you know, filtered through me and they've gone into my muscles and my blood and all of these things. And I've realized, and this is why I think it's so important to just wake up and just set your intentions on gratitude. Like last episode, we talked about just setting your intention every single day. What if you just set your intentions every single day to just be more grateful for

everything? To just be grateful for the little tiny things. Someone that holds the door open for you. Someone, you know, hitting three lights in a row, three green lights in a row. Like how can you be grateful for every little teeny tiny thing? And the reason why is because happiness is not getting what you've wanted. Happiness is wanting what you already have. Let me say that again real quick. Happiness is not getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you already have. Happiness is looking around you and going, yes, I am content.

This is beautiful. It doesn't mean that I don't want more, that I don't want to achieve more, but it's coming from a place of my life is beautiful. Has it been challenging? Hell yeah, it's been challenging. But those challenges I can also be grateful for as well. So how can you be grateful for everything in your life? Good and bad. Can you train yourself to be grateful for everything? Can you train yourself to not be grateful for just the things that are amazing? Like, like I was just saying, like traveling, like that's very easy to be grateful for,

but can I be grateful for all of the little things that I don't think about every single day? Like the instance, for instance, I was just telling you with the cows and with the animals, with all of those things. So how can you be grateful for everything good and bad? It's easy to be grateful for the good things. It's really hard to be bad, to be grateful for the bad things though. So can you train your brain to be grateful for everything, especially the shit, right? Like, especially that, like, I'm working with my accountant right now and we're going through my taxes and the amount of money that I have to pay in taxes actually physically makes

me want to throw up. Like, it's a crazy thing where I'm like, I can't even believe how much money I have to pay in taxes. It's insane. And this isn't me bragging, but it's just me actually speaking out loud is really what it is because I just literally figured out this number today and it makes me want to throw up. But then I went, okay, Rob, if we're focusing on gratitude, if we're really trying to have a life of gratitude, how can you be grateful to pay this money in taxes? Because some people are out there and you say, yeah, well, you're paying that much in taxes

because you made a certain amount. Yeah, of course, for sure. But then also at the same time, then my brain immediately goes to, but the government misuses our money. And then this happens and this happens. And then we go to war and we spend $950 billion a year on war. And this, and we, I guess my brain can immediately go through all of the things that I hate about where our money goes to in the government, or I can flip it and go, okay, Rob, listen, you've had a great life. You know, you've had things to be grateful. Things been easy. No, things haven't been easy. You've worked your ass off to get to where you are, but you've also worked your ass off to be able to stroke a check this big for the government. And you know, if you think

about how blessed you are to have this opportunity, to be able to run a business where you can make the money that you can, to be able to travel, to impact people and so on and so forth. And I literally was able to flip it from I'm going to physically throw up thinking about my money going to the government to, you know what? I can go ahead and let go and realize this is something I can be grateful for. Do I want to pay that money to government? No, I don't want to pay that money to government, but I can still figure out a way to be grateful for those things, right? Another thing I can be grateful for and I can flip on its head is when I look back, I can be really bitter about my father's death and the way that all of those

things transpired and all of the stuff that happened to me in my childhood from him being an alcoholic and then passing away from being an alcoholic. I could be bitter about that or I could look at that and I could say, yes, that was the worst day of my life, but it was also the best day of my life. And the reason why it was the best day of my life is because it gave my life meaning. He was the first person that I ever met that passed away. Nobody in my life passed away that I really knew before then. He was the first. And it was like a wake-up call.

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went, you know what? Wow. Death is actually a beautiful thing because death gives my life urgency. And so at 15 years old, being in that room, I was like, I'm going to be there one day too. Hopefully it's going to take me a lot longer. He passed away at 48. Hopefully, you know, I'm twice that age. Hopefully I'm 96 when I pass away or older. You know, I can look at it and I can go, that was the worst day of my life. But it was also the best day of my life because it gave my life urgency.

It woke me up from the sleep that I was in and made me go, you know what? I'm going to find something to be passionate about in this world. I'm going to find something that I want to do. And it was my very first thought that moment of maybe I should start speaking in front of people. I remember asking my mom, I was like, hey, is it possible for me to go and speak at an AA event when I was 15 years old? Because I was like, I want everyone to see what happens to their children if they don't stop drinking. And that was the first time I got woken up to maybe I could actually speak to people. Maybe I do have some value to give, right?

That's something that I could be grateful for. So I could be very bitter about everything that happened to my father. Or I could go, you know what? What can I be grateful for in this situation? It gave my life urgency. It gave me something of, I found my purpose through it. I found my passion through it. So many people's lives have been impacted through it.

That's something to be grateful for. Because you get what you're looking for. If I'm looking for all of the reasons to be bitter about it, I'm going to find all the reasons to be bitter about it. But if I look at all of the reasons of how can I be grateful for this situation, I'm going to find all the ways that I can be grateful for that situation. One of my favorite quotes, and I say it all the time, Wayne Dyer says, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, right?

When I change the way that I look at things, the things you look at change, right? When I change the way that I look at things, the things I look at change. If I look at my taxes, if I change the way I look at my taxes, my taxes change and the gratitude can come from that. If I change the way that I look at my father's death, then my father's death changes and I can figure out a way to get gratitude for it. There's so many things in your life that are great, but maybe you're just not paying attention to them. Maybe you're putting so much time and so much focus into what you don't want. And a lot of the times what happens is a lot of us actually focus on the things that we don't want or the things that we're fearing. Let that one sink in for a second. Most of the time, most people are thinking about what they don't want or they're thinking about the things that they're afraid of. Does that hit home with you? Maybe you

should start having this gratitude practice of setting your intention every day to, I'm going to figure out a way to be happier and I'm going to start my day with gratitude because if I set my gratitude every single day, I'm going to find things to be grateful for throughout the day. Because if I think of it this way, if you were to wake up in the morning and say, you know what, I'm going to think of all of the shit that's happening in my life, all the things that I hate, all the things that I'm pissed off about. You're going to literally set yourself up to be pissed off the entire day and to find all of the things that you hate. And so if you can do that, why not do the opposite? Set yourself through, you know what, I'm going to find out what I can be

intentionally grateful for and literally focus on that right now in this meditation. I'm going to intentionally find things that I can love and be grateful for, knowing that if I start my day in gratitude in the morning, I'm going to find more things to be grateful for and even possibly create more things to be grateful for if I do that as well. Because when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, there is no such thing as good or bad. Let that one sink in for a minute. There is no such thing as good or bad. It's just a label that we place on it based off of where you are coming from, right? You can see something and someone can see something that you could be completely grateful for this life event.

And somebody could be completely bitter about a life event. It's the exact same life event, but it's how the person puts a label on it, right? It reminds me of that, the story of the two twins and they have an alcoholic father and their father passes away from being alcoholic. And later on down the road, one of them is a really successful CEO. And then later on down the road, the other twin is just, you know, a complete alcoholic and he's homeless. And they walk up to both of them and they ask them the same question. They go up to the one that's homeless and alcoholic and they say, Hey, why are you an alcoholic? And he says, I'm an alcoholic because my father was an alcoholic. And then they go to the other one who's got a real successful business

and they say, Hey, why are you not an alcoholic? And he says, I'm not an alcoholic because my father was an alcoholic, right? The twins had the same life going up, but they changed. The only difference between the two of them was the label and the importance of either good or bad, whatever it was that they placed on it, of their father's death, of their father's alcoholism, whatever it was. So there is no such thing as good or bad. It's just the label that you place on it based off of where you're personally coming from. You know, if you had someone that cheated on you, can you stop being bitter towards them and look at them and go, you know what? I am grateful for that relationship. Do you want to know why?

Because now I know the signs of a cheater. You know, if you had someone that was terrible in a relationship to you, now you can go, you know what? I am grateful for that. I'm no longer bitter because now I know what I will no longer stand in a relationship and what I do want out of a relationship, right? If you were bullied in school, can you look at that and say, you know what? I am still kind of pissed off about those kids. How can I flip this? You know what? I am grateful for that I had bullied in school can you look at that and say you know what i i am still kind

of pissed off about those kids how can i flip this you know what i am grateful that i had boys in school you want to know why because now i can make sure that i don't bully people as i get older and i treat them with respect in the way that i think they should be treated and my children can also i can train them how to not be bullies as well you can be grateful for every single event in your life and so think about that. I want you to think about that right now. Are there things that you're still negative about that you're still holding on to that you need to find a way to flip and be grateful for? Do you need to change the way you look at some things that have happened to you? Do you need to change the way

that you look at some things that are currently happening to you? Because once again, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. So if you could wake up every single morning and say, I'm going to just breathe in gratitude. I'm just going to, and this, I get it. It sounds weird. It sounds woo wooey. But if, what if you just, what if you just went, you know what? I've got so many things that have happened to me in my life, good and bad that I can be grateful for. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to intentionally set myself up every single morning to just be filled up with gratitude. Just imagine that gratitude is literally just a bowl of water and I'm going to be pouring that bowl of water into the top of my head and I'm going to be filling myself up with gratitude every single day. I promise you, if you do this tomorrow

morning, you're going to wake up, you're going to go through this situation. You're going to go and start thinking of the things that you'd be grateful for. And it might take time for your brain to calm down. It might take five minutes. It might take 10 minutes, but eventually you get to a point where you're like, I have so many things I'd be grateful for. And then you're going to go through your day, completely forget about it. And at the end of the day, you're going to be like, damn, I had a really great day today. And you might go, oh my God, I had such a good day because I focused so much on what I'd be grateful for. It's literally setting your intentions. Same way I talked about last episode, setting your intentions, the way that you want them to be set to create the life

that you want. Do you want a beautiful life? Do you want things to be grateful for? Well, why not wake up and just intentionally set yourself up for success by setting yourself up for looking for things that you want to be grateful for? Because when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, everything that's happened to you, good or bad, you can be grateful for. Can you go back through your life events and through all of the different weird, obscure things that have happened to you and find a way to be grateful for everything? So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. And please do

me a favor. As I said, if you love this episode or any episode I've ever had, and you're listening to me on iTunes or you're listening on Apple Podcasts, do me a favor, go give me a quick rating and review. I'd greatly, greatly appreciate it. The more ratings and reviews that come in in a short amount of time, just so you guys have an idea of the way the algorithm works, it actually boosts the algorithm and adds the podcast go out to more people organically so more people can find us. So I would greatly appreciate if you would do that for me. Greatly, greatly appreciate it. More than you could possibly imagine. And I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.