The Mindset Mentor - How to Build a Life You Love

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

Having a life you love is not something that you just wake up and realize you have, it is something that is built intentionally every day. In this episode, I am going to teach you how to build that life. Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dylann. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. Today, we're going to be talking about how to build a life that you absolutely love. Because in my mind, that seems like the purpose of life. If we do this right, we should love our lives. But that really makes you think,

if the point of our lives is to build a life that we love, why do so many people not love their lives? Like most people, if we were to go out and actually look at all the people in the world, I would say that most people are content. They're content. It's okay. But they're slightly aggravated by the fact that they're not where they want to be, right?

They wish that they had more time to go do this. They wish they had more money to go do this. So they wish they would have, you know, put more of their potential into early years of their life, or they wish they would have studied more, they wish they would have done something. So it's like most people don't hate their lives. Most people are content, but they wish that there was more to it. They wish that they were able to bring more to their life. And I don't know about you, but I would like to have a life that is filled with stuff that I love, with people that I love, with things that I like, being able to travel, being able to do whatever it is that I want, being able to do what I want, when I want,

with who I want. I don't want to do anything in my life that I'm not in love with. If I can build my life to do stuff only that I love and to not do anything that I don't love, that seems pretty amazing to me. I want to be excited for every single moment of my life. And I've been building my life for years and years and years now. And it's not perfect, but it's getting really good. I'm not saying that to brag.

I'm just saying that because that is something that every single person can do. And I want to tell you exactly how to do it as well. Because ultimately, your job is to build an amazing life for yourself, for your family, for people that you're close to, and for the rest of the world. Because the better that you are, the better that the rest of the world is as well. So if you just feel like you're content, but you're not happy with your life, make sure that you listen up and take some notes on this episode. And I'm going to say something that might surprise some people. If you've been listening to this podcast for a long time, it might not surprise you at all. A life that you love doesn't just happen.

It doesn't just like, it's not like you just wake up one day and you're like, oh my God, life is perfect. Look at this. How did I get so lucky to have such an amazing life? Life is perfect. Look at this. How did I get so lucky to have such an amazing life? No, a life that you love is built. It is built intentionally and it is built meticulously. Like meticulously.

And you have to know what you want. You have to have intention every single day. You have to work towards it. You have to have a plan for how you're going to accomplish that life. You have to have a daily check-in plan of how you're going to execute. One of my friends that I have, he's older than me, he's in his 50s. He is one of the most successful people that I know, but he's also one of the nicest people that I know. He's also one of the most giving people that I know. And he's also probably the most intentional person that I know. I cannot recall a time that I have met up with him or seen him and he did not have his journal with him. And his journal is not just like something that he

writes in. On the back of his journal, he's literally got a printout of every single one of his goals and how he's tracking towards it. So he's got his goals for his life. He's got his goals for his family. He's got his goals for every single thing that he does. And he brings that journal with him everywhere. This guy is so ridiculously intentional and he happens to be worth about $150 million. And you look at that and you're like, damn, this guy has what most people would think that like, he's got a family that's awesome. He loves his wife. He loves his children. He's got a great relationship. He's got this massive business in his children. He's got a great relationship. He's got this massive business in real estate.

He's crushing it in life. He doesn't have to be as intentional anymore, does he? People could think that. But this guy literally acts like he's got nothing and he's still working to get it all. And when I say that working to get, I don't mean he works like 100 hours a week. He's not even anywhere near that anymore.

He's taken a step back from that. But what he does though is he is very intentional with every single thing that he does. He's intentional with what he wants. He's intentional with what he plans to do. And he's intentional with the actions that he takes. And so if you look at someone like that, like I do, I go, well, he's got what I would say most people want, an amazing life. He's got all of the success in the world. He's got what I would say most people want, an amazing life.

He's got all of the success in the world. He's got really cool stuff. He's got an amazing relationship. It's not like he has this amazing business and his wife hates him. He's got this amazing relationship with his wife and with his kids. And his main intention right now

is just be an amazing father for his children, both of them are under 10. You would look at him and go, okay, well, that guy seems to have done something right. And so what I would say is one of the things that he's done really right is be very, very intentional with every single thing in his life. And I want you to understand this. Everything in your life is changeable. You are not stuck. Every single thing that you have in your life is changeable. You're not stuck. And it might, I understand it feels like it sometimes.

You might feel stuck at sometimes. I've been there. I completely understand that. But if something in your life is not the way that you want to be, change it. It's not stuck. Whatever that thing is, change it. Like what if you made a list, a love list and a change list of every single thing in your life and what you love about it and also what you need to change about it? Because then you can make sure that you continue to keep doing the things that you love and you change the things that you don't love to make them even better. And so you go through every single thing in your life. If you were to look at your relationship with your boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, whatever it is, what do you love about your relationship with your significant other? Write down all the things. And you know,

if you need to pause me and you have your pen and paper with you, pause me. Let's go through and do this right now. You look at your significant other. What do you love about your relationship with your significant other? Make that list. Okay. Now what needs to change in your relationship with your significant other? Make that list. Okay. Now, what needs to change in your relationship with your significant other? For them, and then also for you, what do you guys, what does he or she need to do? And what do you need to do? What do you need to change to make it even better? Okay. Let's go to the next thing. Think about all of your friends and the people that you surround yourself with, the people, the top five people that you spend the most time with. What do you love about your relationship with those people? Okay. Write all of those things down. Pause me if you need to.

And then what needs to change? And if you're driving your car, if you're at the gym and you don't have pen and paper, you can actually just think about these things if you want to. Or if you're on the treadmill, take your phone out. You can start making a list on your phone as well. Your friends, what do you love about your relationship with your closest friends? Okay. And what could be better? Or what could feel more expansive? I don't want to say better or worse or any of that stuff, but what needs to change? What feels more like an expansive relationship with them? Okay. Write all those things down or think about them in your head. Okay. What about your family? Let's talk about your relationship with your children.

What do you love about your relationship with your children and how you show up? Okay, now what needs to change in order to make their relationship even better? What about your relationship with your parents, your sister, brother, cousins, people that you're close to, business partners? What do you love about those relationships? And then what needs to change in those relationships to make them even better or, aka, once again, more expansive? Okay? Hey, let's talk about what is professional today. On LinkedIn, important conversations are happening around what it means to be professional.

Right now, LinkedIn members are talking about things like needing more flexibility around where we work, how we work, and even taking time away from work to focus on family or mental health because those things should not stunt career development and growth. Instead, they should enhance it as we show up on our own terms. Members are even putting in what's most important to them in their job titles, things like podcast host slash activist slash mom. Mine would say podcast host, CEO, traveler, and puppy lover. Professional is yours to define, and our authentic self is our professional self. So if your LinkedIn doesn't reflect who you really are, update your job title. Post your truth, show the world the authentic professional you, and join the conversations redefining what

professional are on LinkedIn. LinkedIn, welcome professionals. Fortune favors the bold, the strong, and the brave. For your business to break out of anything holding you back, you need business checking as brave as you are. Introducing Novo Business Checking. Novo is powerfully simple business checking. And unlike their traditional banking model, Novo has no minimum balances, no transaction limits, and no hidden fees. Instead of a one-size-all fits approach, Novo is customized to fit your business, to save you time, and to free up cash flow with seamless integrations to Stripe, Shopify, QuickBooks Online, and more. So sign up for Novo for free and join the community of over 150,000 fearless small businesses who have found the customizable business checking solution that admires the brave. Sign up for free for business checking right now at novo.co slash dial plus mindset mentor listeners will get access to over $5,000 in perks and discounts. So go to novo.co slash dial to sign up for free. novo.co slash dial. Novo Platform Inc. is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services provided

by Middlesex Federal Savings, FA. Member FDIC. Terms and conditions apply. What do you love about your career or your job or your business? What do you love about those things? And then what do you need to change in each one of those? Okay, what about the people that you work with? You know, what do you love about the people that you work with? What needs to change? Maybe there's some people that are just sucking too much time from you, or you just don't enjoy them being around you. Okay, what can you do about bringing that up to your boss and letting them know? Okay, everything is changeable. What about your employees or people that are, you know, if you have a company, what do you

love about your employees? What do you not love about your employees and what needs to change? What about your house? You know, the actual place that you spend your time, what do you love about your house? And then what do you need to change? What would make your house better? You know, is it like another bed? Maybe your bed isn't as comfortable as you want it to be. Maybe you need another couch. Maybe you just, you know, need to take your TV and put it in another room so you don't spend so much time watching it. Like what needs to change in your house to make your house even better? What about your car? This is a super important thing that I want to say to you guys. My friend, the same friend that was the one who brings his journal with him everywhere and, you know,

is worth over $150 million. We were having a conversation years ago, like six years ago, right? And we were talking about the cars that we drive. And at that point in time, I drove a really old Hyundai Santa Fe. And it was like, if I'm being honest with you, I didn't really like the car that much. But we were having this conversation and I was like, yeah, but I'm just going to drive it till the wheels fall off. I took'm just, I took pride in the fact that I was just going to drive that thing forever. And that I didn't need a new car or any of that type of stuff. And he said something to me that I'll never forget. And he said, you know what? And he doesn't have like a super nice car. He's just got like a Lexus. It's nice, but it's not like a Lamborghini or anything like that.

He goes, you know what I've found is when I drive a little bit nicer of a car, I show up better. And so I think for me, investing into something nicer is actually important because I show up differently to wherever I'm going. And I was like, oh shit. After a while, I thought about it. I was like, looks like I gotta buy something else. And then I realized that he was right. So then I bought a different, I bought a truck,

which is what I'd always wanted for a long time. And I realized that I loved driving it. And I loved it so much that when I showed up at a place, I felt different showing up there, right? So just a good example of just a piece of advice. It was just so small that he gave me. Now I enjoy driving more. I show up better to places, all of that stuff.

Little shifts and changes and things like these actually change your perspective in your life and the way you show up to many things. So just something to think about. You don't need to go out and buy a Ferrari today, but I'm just giving you an example of sometimes if you have the means to upgrade and get something a little bit nicer, maybe go for it. It might change your life a little bit. What about the clothes that you wear, right? Do you love the clothes that you wear? Are they just like clothes that you've had

for like eight years and you just haven't thrown them away yet? I've been in that boat before. I've kept clothes for way too long and just wore them because they've covered up my skin, right? But do you love what you wear? What do you love about it? And then what needs to change? Okay, what about your mindset? What do you love about your mindset? Make a list of all the things that you love. What needs to change about your mindset? What about your morning routine? What do you love about your morning routine? What needs to change about your morning routine? And then from the moment that you wake up to the moment that you go to bed, think about and watch every single thing, every one of your actions, every one of your thoughts, every person that you talk to, every place that you stay, the seat that you work in,

all of those things, and start to think to yourself, if I could make this better, what would I do? And you start to become very intentional about everything that happens in your life. And realize that not everything is going to happen right away. Like if you're like, you know what, I don't really like the car that I'm driving right now. Okay, well, cool. It doesn't mean that you have to go buy a new car today. You might not have the means to go buy a new car today, but at least can be on your radar. So you can actually start to see that you want to get something different. Maybe you're like, you know what? The seat that I'm sitting in at work is uncomfortable.

Okay, can you go talk to your boss and see if maybe there's just another chair in the office you can have? Like, how can you build a life that you love? How can you build a life that is something that you actually like? Instead of just thinking to yourself, oh, it's good enough.

Like, I've thought that to myself way too many, oh yeah, it's not what I want, but it's good enough. It's okay. It's good enough. Fuck that. Why don't you just build a life that you love and actually be very intentional about changing the things that you don't like? If I could tell you that we fast forward 10 years from today and you have the perfect life, a life that you love, everything is amazing. Would that excite you? Hell yes, it would excite you. But it won't just happen. It won't just happen. You have to treat your life like you would a business, for instance. It's funny to me how so many people will start a business or they'll work for somebody else, and they will have a business plan. They'll have a plan of exactly what it is that they need to do. They have quarterly review

meetings. And let's say you work for somebody else, right? Instead of it being your own business, but you might be in your own business. You work for somebody else and you have a business plan for what you're supposed to do for this year, right? You have a quarterly plan of what you're supposed to do for this quarter to be on track. Okay. Q1, Q2, Q3, Q4. And then what do you do? You have quarterly reviews and then you have weekly meetings with your team. You have weekly meetings every single week. And then sometimes you have morning huddles. You might talk to your team and other people on your team every single day. And it blows my mind that people take their jobs more, their jobs when they don't even own the fucking company, they take their jobs more serious than they when they don't even own the fucking company, they take their jobs

more seriously than they take their own lives. They have plans, they have business plans, they have quarterly reviews, they have weekly meetings, they have morning huddles, and they take their jobs so seriously. But when they look at their own lives, it's not where they want it to be because they're just so afraid of being fired a lot of times from the place where they are. So some people take their job more seriously than they do their own lives. But it's not really hard to really start to take care of your life. First off, you've got to ask yourself, what do you want? What do you want in your life? It drives me crazy that so few people actually know what it is that they truly want. Okay? Ask yourself what

it is that you want because when you see something, it makes it so much easier to hit that target. You've got to visually see that target. Okay, now once we figure out what it is that you want, plan out what it's going to take for you to get there. Whatever that thing is, plan it out, figure it out, become very clear on what it is that you need to do and the actions they need to take, that you need to take, and then you work for it. You just start to work for that thing.

And then review it with yourself every single week. Review it often and make adjustments. I always tell people it's crazy that so many people have so many weekly meetings and daily meetings and all these things in the business that they work at. But then I'm like, how often do you have a meeting with yourself for your own life? And they're like, never. And I'm like, well, maybe that's why your life is not going the way that you want it to. You have to review it. Take five minutes, 10 minutes, every single Sunday night or every single Monday morning. Review your life. Review the past week.

Okay. Look back on how last week was and then look forward on what we can do this week to make it better. It's very simple. Stop, start, continue. What do I need to stop doing? You look back on last week. What do I need to stop doing from last week? You look back on last week. What do I need to start doing that I wasn't doing last week? And then what do I need to continue doing? You look back on last week, what do I need to stop doing from last week? You look back on last week, what do I need to start doing that I wasn't doing last week? And then what do I need to continue doing? Stop, start, continue. You take five minutes, 10 minutes, you make a list of all these things. And then all you have to do after you get done reviewing it is just take the action and then make small adjustments and make small adjustments and make small adjustments. Because ultimately, here's the truth. It's your life. Shouldn't this be the one thing that you take more serious than

anything else? Why is it that so few people take it so serious? This is your life. You're the only one that's going to change it. No one is going to come in and save you. There's no like savior coming in off the horizon and you just have to sit there and be like, oh, I hope that he comes and finds me. No, no one's coming. No one's coming to wake you up. No one's coming to tell you to work harder. No one's telling you what to do. You have to figure out what it is that you want. You have to plan it and then you have to work for it. That is the only way that your life is going to change. But if you do figure out what you want, you do plan it and you do work for it, your life will change and you will wake up one year, two years, five years, 10 years, 20 years down the road.

And you'll be like, oh shit, I made this. And that is how you build a life that you love. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor right now, share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way this podcast grows

is from you guys sharing it. So I greatly appreciate all of the times that you share it. And with that, I'm gonna leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.