The Mindset Mentor - How to Build Confidence

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

In this episode, I will teach you the key to building confidence and the secret to taking action to get the results you want in your life.Join the IronMind60 Challenge here: http://ironmind60.com/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

On holiday, there's nothing like doing nothing. As an Expedia member, you can save up to 30% when you add a hotel to your flight, so you can go out there with great ambition to do absolutely nothing for less. Expedia. Made to travel. Welcome to today's episode. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And last but not least, are you ready to make 2020 the best year of your life? If so, you can go ahead and sign up for my Iron Mind 60 challenge. It opens up today. If you're listening to this episode, the day it comes out, it opens up today and you can sign up at ironmind60.com right now. And let me tell you about what it is. It's 60 days starting

January 1st, where I'm going to give you daily coaching every single day in a private Facebook group through a Facebook live. I'm going to give you daily coaching. We're going to be doing question answer sessions. And for 60 days straight, myself included, and you will be pushing ourselves to hit the six pillars that we need to, to break out of our comfort zone, to break our bad habits, to create the habits that we want to, and to start changing our lives and make next year, this year, 2020 coming up the best year of our lives. We're going to hit the six pillars, which is working out every single day, specific diet that you're going to pick, that you're going to stick to for 60 days, journaling every single day, which I'm going to teach you,

visualization every single day, which I'm going to teach you, no alcohol for 60 days, and take a cold shower every day for 60 days. And the great part about it is if you're joining in before January 1st, the cool thing about it is that I'm going to be putting lessons inside of the group before January 1st hits so that therefore when you join, you can get a head start into 2020. So the group opens up today and the first 200 people get 25% off plus a free ticket to bring in someone that they know, someone that they love to be their accountability partner. It could be spouse, it could be brother, sister, mother, father, friend, coworker, whatever it is. And the cool thing about it is you can join today. The best part is that there is a $10,000 prize pool that you can win based off of how much you grow, how much you change, and the type of person that you become. So if you're interested in

changing your life, making 2020 the best year of your life, go to ironmind60.com and check it out. There's a video that's up there. It explains every single detail of it, and you can see if it is right for you. And once again, the first 200 people get 25% off, and they get a free ticket for someone that they know and love. So go to ironmind60.com, I-R-O-N-M-I-N-D 60.com. Check it out. Watch the video. See if it's right for you.

And when you join, you'll be entered into the contest where you can win a $10,000 prize pool, which will all be explained to you as well. So go to that website and check it out. And I can't wait to make 2020 the best year of our lives. So today we're going to be talking about how to build confidence. I get this question asked to me all of the time of, Rob, I'm not confident in this job that I want to start. How can I grow my confidence before I start the job of, Rob, I'm not confident in this job that I want to start. How can I grow my confidence before I start the job? Or Rob, I have this girl that I want to ask out. How do I grow my confidence so that I can have enough confidence to ask her out? And the answer that I'm going to give you is not the answer that you want to hear. And this is the answer. Confidence

comes from results. So you can't get confidence automatically with the way that we're raised. Now, it's my personal belief that every person is born with all of the confidence that they need. If you look at every child that you've ever come across, they have all of the confidence that we want, right? They don't care if they're wearing clothes. They don't care what you think about them. They don't care what anything or anyone else is doing in this world except for them. They're born with confidence, which means that you are also born with confidence. So what happens along the way where you end up losing your confidence? Well, I'm going to tell you what probably happens. Society happens, and also

your parents have to socialize you. That's what happens. So with your parents' socialization, you have to realize you take this perfect being, these children that are just full of joy and full of love, and they're full of enthusiasm. And you take a child that's full of joy and enthusiasm out into public. And what happens? People like it to be quiet. They don't want to be bothered. And so this child that has all this joy and enthusiasm goes and they're loud in public and the mom says, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not supposed to do that. You're not supposed to do that. And what happens is your confidence and your joy and your enthusiasm is programmed out of you through the socialization process. And so what happens is you learn how you're supposed to act

for your parents, how you're supposed to act for the people that are around you, how you're supposed to act in order to be accepted in society. So it's programmed out of you, and in order to get it, you have to earn it. So the difference between a successful person, unsuccessful person is this. The unsuccessful person, they're not confident. The successful person, they're not confident. But the only difference is that the successful person, even though they're not confident, even though they don't believe in themselves, they take action anyways. They don't care what people think about them and they're going to do it anyways. And they know that eventually once they get a little bit of results

and a little bit of results, they will eventually start to get confident. I know when I first started public speaking, I was 19 years old. I was terrible at it. I wasn't good at it at all. And I was nervous and I didn't believe in myself. And I had absolutely no confidence that I could become a great public speaker. So what I did was I just went up and I felt the fear. I felt it down in my stomach and I was like, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if this is for me. And I felt the fear, but I did it anyways. I blindly jumped off the cliff and said, let's see if it works. And what happened? My first talk wasn't that good. It was okay. My second talk still

wasn't that good, but it was a little bit better than the first one was. And I could see just a little bit of progress. And as Tony Robbins says, progress equals happiness. But I could see that little bit of progress. And it made me go, well, if I can progress from my first talk to my second talk, well, then what's my 30th talk going to look like? And it started to give me confidence that I could improve because there was just a minimal amount of improvement from number one to number two. And you know what I did?

I said, you know what? I'm going to go ahead and try number three. I gave talk number three. Still wasn't that good, if I'm being honest with you, but it was a little bit better than number two. And it was definitely better than number one. And slowly but surely, the more that I did it, the more results I got and the more confidence that I got. So if you're trying to build your confidence, I'm going to tell you, you can't build your confidence from sitting inside of your room and meditating about confidence. You can't get confidence from sitting inside of your room

and talking to somebody about confidence or reading about confidence or watching a YouTube video about confidence. The only way to become confident in something is to actually go out and do it and improve and start to see some results along the way. So once again, the only difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful person is both of them are not very confident in themselves, but the successful person does it anyways. And here's the beautiful thing about confidence and about taking action is that in order to take action, you don't have to believe in yourself. Now, most people think, oh, well, you know, I'm crippled by my fear. That's why I'm not taking action. And that's not true. You're just thinking too much. You have to stop thinking so much and you need to start

taking more action because ultimately you don't have to believe in yourself in order to take action. When I first started in sales, I didn't believe that people were going to buy from me, but I just made phone calls and made phone calls and made phone calls. And I made a couple of sales. And then after I made a couple of sales, I started to believe in myself a little bit more. I started to get a little bit more confident and with confidence and belief came better sales skills. And I started to sell more. So you have to take action of what it is that you need to do. Now, here's the thing. I know with most people, whenever we start to think about all of the things that we need to do and we say, hold on, I have to take action. I don't know if I can take

action. I'm just so nervous. I've got so many things that I need to get better at. And we get this paralysis by analysis. You know, we have all of these things we're supposed to do, and we get paralyzed by taking action. And I'm going to give you my biggest tip, number one, for taking action, because in order for you to get confidence, you have to take results. In order for you to have results, you have to take action. So let's talk about how to take action, even when you're so nervous or you have so much paralysis by analysis that you don't know what to do. My number one secret for taking action is this. It's extremely, extremely simple,

but I know how the human mind works. And we get paralyzed by all the things that we have to do. Like for instance, I started to get a mini paralysis by analysis when I started making this episode. And the reason why was because I started thinking, okay, I need to record it on my microphone, which needs to plug into my computer. And then before I do all of this, what I need to do is I need to actually plan it. So I need to have my microphone ready. I need my computer ready. I need to have the plan ready. And I'm also going to record this and put it up on YouTube and Facebook. So I need to have the camera ready. And I started thinking about all of these things that I needed to have done in order for

this podcast to work. And then after the podcast, I got to upload it into the RSS feed. I got to make the description. I got to make the YouTube description. I got to upload on Facebook. I got to do all these things. And I thought to myself, let me just go ahead and make a to-do list of all of the things that I need to do. I made this massive to-do list of everything I needed to do. And then I looked at it and I said, okay, what's the most important thing that I need to do first? Out of everything on here, what do I need to do? And the first thing I needed to do, I figured out,

and you know what I did? I took a Post-it note and I wrote one thing on the Post-it note, and that's all I focused on. One thing and one thing only. Because what happens is a lot of times, we're not taking action, not because we a lot of times we're not taking action, not because we're not confident. We're not taking action because we're thinking about all of the things that we need to do in order to get to where we want to go.

So this simple tip is to take a post-it note after you make your to-do list and put down your number one thing that has to be done. That's it. Just your number one thing that has to be done. You write it down, you put the to-do list that you made, you put it over somewhere else. And you take this sticky note and you stick it on your desk and you look at it. And all you have to do is go, okay, this is all I have to focus on. I don't have to think about everything else because it's out of my brain now and it's on that piece of paper. I won't forget about it. So I can mentally let my brain release this to-do list that's sitting over here to the side. And I can look at this sticky note that's on my desk and go, this is the only thing that I need to concentrate on. And that's step number one. And you get done

with that. It's like Lao Tzu says, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. This sticky note is your single step. This is the only thing that you have to do right now. Now, once this is done, what happens? You take this one, you crumble it up, you take another sticky note, and guess what you do? You put the next thing that needs to be done on this sticky note. And what you slowly but surely start to do is you take little teeny, tiny baby steps towards what it is that you need to get done. Because the beautiful thing about everything is that you don't have to believe in yourself in order to take action. So many people think that they need to believe in themselves in order to be a great

public speaker. No, you don't have to believe in yourself in order to become a great public speaker. And in all honesty, you're going to suck for a long time. But what's going to help you? Going through the process. Not believing in yourself is fine, but getting your freaking tail on stage, talking, and then going and doing it again, and then going and doing it again, and then going and doing it then, over and over and over again. And after 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 talks, you realize that you're better, and you've become better, and you've, 40, 50 talks, you'd be realizing that you're better and you've become better and you've become better. But ultimately, you didn't have to believe in yourself in order for your feet to walk up the stairs of that stage, in order for you to stand on that stage, in order for the words to come out of your mouth. Belief has nothing to do with the action that you take. And so if you feel

like your confidence is not where you want it to so if you feel like your confidence is not where you want it to be, the reason why your confidence is not where you want to be is because you need to get results first. You cannot become an incredible public speaker if you've never stood on a stage before. It's impossible. You can't become a great salesperson if you've never gotten on a sales phone call before. The only way to learn and to get better is to take action and to see a little bit of results. And when you see a little bit of results, it gives you a tiny bit of confidence. And you see more results, you get a tiny bit of confidence. Confidence doesn't just come, it's stacked up little teeny tiny wins along the way.

That's the most important thing to remember is that confidence is not going to be here. You were originally born with it. That's the sad thing. But through socialization and through society, you've lost that confidence. And you've learned through acting a certain way or having to earn your respect that you also have to earn your confidence from yourself. So since we can't rewind 20, 30, 40, 50 years back to when we were children and reprogram ourselves, the only thing we could do right now is reprogram ourselves. I don't have to believe in myself in order to click on my microphone and click on my video camera and record this. All I have to do is just click on my microphone and click on my video

camera in order to record this. So if you're trying to become more confident, I'm sorry, but you're not going to get it from meditating. You're not going to get it from learning. You're not going to get it from reading. You're not going to get it from journaling. You're not going to get it from talking to your best friend. The only way that you're going to get it is from taking action because confidence comes from results. Results come from taking action. And the best part about taking action is you don't have to believe in yourself in order to do it. And if your paralysis by analysis is kicking in, you have too many things that you're thinking about,

and all of the steps that you need to take in order to get to where you want to go, you write all of the things on your to-do list down on a piece of paper. You find out what the number one and most important thing is. You write it down on a sticky note. And then you throw that to-do list in another room. You can look at it another time. And the only thing that you need to focus on is this one thing. So that's what I got for you for today's episode.

If you love this, please hit the share button. Share it with someone that you know and love. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.