The Mindset Mentor - How to Build Your AUTHENTIC Life

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

As you're building your life, it is extremely important to make sure that you are extremely authentic. Otherwise, you will grow to resent certain aspects of your life. In this episode, I will teach you how to build an authentic life and how to deal with people who do not align with a life that is true to yourself. ________________________________________________________________________ Follow me on IG here for more inspiration: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ ________________________________________________________________________ Thank you to our sponsors: AthleticGreens: simply visit AthleticGreens.com/DIAL and get your FREE year supply of Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs today! -- Rob Dial @robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're in the US or Canada, send me a text message right now, 1-512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305, and I will send you motivational text messages throughout the week. Today, we're going to be talking about how to be truly, authentically who you are at the core, getting rid of all of the crap, and how to actually truly step into your full authentic self. And I'm going to give you a story as we go through this, but we're going to talk about how to also not give your power away as we go through this. And I want to tell you a story. If you've been

listening to my podcast for a while, you're probably aware of the way that I speak, right? probably aware of the way that I speak, right? You're aware that I am a short to the point, no BS podcast. And I happen to cuss. And guess what? I love it. I love cussing. I love cuss words. They just, they bring so much richness to a sentence, right? I love it. And some people don't love it. And I'm aware of that. I'm going to tell you about how I stepped into being more truly authentically myself and how I had a struggle with it. And it's around cussing. And it's going to help you understand how I stepped into.

And hopefully this story will help you step into who you truly authentically are as well. So I love cussing simply because I think it brings so much flavor to a story. Like if I were to say, oh, what I went through was really hard. Or if I were to say, oh, what I went through was really fucking hard. Like it just seems like there's more emphasis on it, right? And at the same time, it's me being truly authentically myself. Could I not say a cuss word? Absolutely, I cannot say a cuss word. But that means that if I wanted to say it and I didn't say it, I'm holding myself back from being truly authentically who I am. And when I first started this podcast, actually, I didn't cuss for a long time, like three and a half years. It was about 650 episodes before I started actually

cussing. Maybe I'd throw out a couple of cuss words, one out of every 30 episodes, but I kept it really tight. And then I thought to myself, if I'm going to be giving myself to these people, if I'm going to be telling them to be authentic and I am not being authentic, then I'm a coward and I'm also a fraud and people shouldn't listen to me. And so I made the decision, you know what? If people don't like cuss words, I'm not their guy and I'm okay with that. And what you have to realize in life is that when you step into who you truly authentically are, you're not going to be everybody's guy. You're not going to be everybody's girl. You're not going to be everybody's girl.

You're not going to be every single person's cup of tea. And that is completely fine. Somebody who listens to my podcast that wants me to be like, hey, sweetheart, it's okay. And to pat their head and to tell them that life is gonna be amazing and that it's okay that they've been making mistakes.

I'm just not that person. But that person probably exists out there. And so I'm okay with that person listening to my podcast and going, nope, don't like this guy. But I didn't used to be okay with that. My question to you is, are you okay with someone going, nope, I don't like this guy. Or nope, I don't like this girl.

Are you okay with somebody not liking you? At your true deepest core. Because a lot of this girl. Are you okay with somebody not liking you at your true deepest core? Because a lot of people think that they're okay with it until they get haters. They think they're okay with it until they get a negative review. They think they're okay with it and then they realize they ain't okay with it. And I want you guys to realize that number one,

first off, this is something that I want you to understand is that the true authentic version of yourself is somewhere in there, but it might've been so long since you've been your true authentic self, or maybe you've never been your true authentic self because your parents told you not to do this, or because society told you not to do that. And because you saw what you are and are not supposed to do that, you're like, I don't even know who I truly am. Well, now it's a self discovery that you get to go on and find out who that is. But if you were to walk into my house, if you were to be around me when I'm around my friends, I cuss, I don't hold back,

I make jokes. And I realized that I wasn't truly authentically myself for a lot of my podcast episodes. And I said, I can't not be that way. And if I'm not someone's cup of tea, then I'm not someone's cup of tea, then I'm not someone's cup of tea. That's okay. And I knew that things were going to happen the way they're going to happen. And maybe I would lose some listeners. Maybe I'll lose some followers. But you know what? Some people are going to listen to me and go, yep, that's my dude. That's exactly the way that I think. That's exactly the way that I talk. Because here's what's interesting. If someone listens to my podcast and then they decide, you know what, that's my guy. I want to go ahead and

I want to learn how to build a business from him. Or, you know, I know he does business consulting. Maybe I should learn a little bit from him. And then they join and they see a different version of me in person coaching them than they do while it's on the podcast. Then I'm attracting the wrong type of person in the first place by not truly authentically being myself. And if I'm not truly authentically being myself, I'm going to feel resistance towards doing something because I'm not being the person that I want to be. And when we're talking about cussing, just side note, when I'm talking about getting your own power back, cussing is just a word. A word is just a sound. And a sound is just coming from somebody's face. So if you're out there and you or someone that you know is offended by cuss words,

that is a program. That person has been programmed to actually not like a sound coming out of someone's face. What is the difference between me saying shit and me saying nothing? There's no difference between shit and blah. It's just a sound coming out of my face. But somewhere along the way, somebody said, oh, no, intelligent people don't speak that way. Oh, no, that's trashy to speak that way.

That's not elegant to say that, to talk like that. And I hear it all of the time. And I see people send me messages on Instagram, Rob, I love your podcast, but could you stop cussing so much? And I'm like, sorry, no, that's not authentically me. And then I look at my reviews sometimes. And sometimes like, like one, I got one the other day, two-star review on my podcast. They love all of the stuff that I put out, but they said I sound trashy with the way that I speak. I'm like, hey, that is the way that it is. And if you don't like it, then you don't like it. So that's why, you know, if you do like my podcast, please go give me a freaking review and let's get some five-star reviews in there for

instead of the two-star. Believe me, there's thousands and thousands more five-star reviews than there are two-star reviews. But there's people out there that get offended by a sound coming out of somebody's face. And that is something that is programmed into them. And if a word can make somebody feel a certain way, that person doesn't have control of their own personal sovereignty. They are not a free being if they're being triggered by a sound coming out of someone's face. Eleanor Roosevelt says, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. The same way, nobody can make you internally change the state of you without your consent. So if I say a word or you say a word and someone hears it and it makes them change their internal state, they have given up their own

personal sovereignty, the way that they feel, their emotions, and their thoughts to everybody outside of them. There's no control. There's no personal sovereignty. And people who do get offended, I had this long conversation. I talked about this in a podcast hundreds of episodes ago with my mom and her sisters came in town about four years ago, three years ago. And one of my aunts was like, hey, I don't hold back. I speak the way that I speak. And I said the word fuck. And my aunt's like, hey, don't speak like that. Can you not speak that way? It sounds unintelligent. And I go, it's time for a coaching session. And so I go, okay. Her name's Pam. I said, okay, Pam, what about that word is unintelligent? And she's like, oh, well, it's just,

there's other words that you could use. And I go, of course, there's other words that I could use. And she's like, oh, well, it's just, there's other words that you could use. And I go, of course, there's other words that I could use. But what about that word is actually unintelligent? Like where in it, that word, F-U-C-K, shows you unintelligence. She's like, well, I guess it doesn't necessarily show it. It just, you could use words that would make you sound more intelligent. And I go, so what word would make me sound more intelligent? So we had this conversation and we got deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and ended

up talking, got to the point that my grandmother, who I love, and she said, people who are dumb cuss. That's how she, people that are unintelligent use cuss words. That's how she raised her children. And so that program was set into their mind and now they're carrying it along with them. Hey, everybody. Let me tell you about my favorite drink that I take first thing in the morning. If you've been listening to the podcast, you know I take Athletic Greens every single morning, right when I wake up, after brushing my teeth, before I meditate. And in 30 seconds, in just one scoop, I get 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole food source ingredients.

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first purchase. Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash dial. In the book, The Four Agreements, he talks about anything that somebody says to you and you accept into your mind and it changes your perception is like a virus put into a computer, right? If my grandma spoke a virus into her children, I love her to death. Well, she is dead now, so I still love her

even though she has experienced death, I guess I could say, but she put a virus into her children. It's okay. There's nothing wrong with this. I'm just going to explain this to you, right? She put a virus into her children and that virus played out over and over and over again. Same way that if I put a virus into a computer,

that will affect the computer and the way that it runs forever until that virus is removed. And so we added this conversation. We ended up finding out that the reason why they didn't like the cussing was because when they were children, my grandma said this to them. And I said, do you realize that you're not free? If somebody can say a word and it changes your

internal state, you are not free. You are under that person's control. If somebody can say a four-letter word and instead of saying the word pool, they say shit and it's a different four-letter word and one of them changes your internal state, you are caught in a program. You are caught in a construct. You are caught in a virus. You need to figure out how to remove that virus and ask yourself, do I actually hate that word or is the word just something that doesn't really matter to me and I've just been programmed to think that word? Or is the word just something that doesn't really matter to me and I've just been programmed to think that way? So that was a whole side note that I want you to think about because no one makes you feel inferior without your consent, as Eleanor Roosevelt said.

And Viktor Frankl, who wrote an incredible book called Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl was a psychologist who was a prisoner in Auschwitz and many other Nazi prison camps. And he saw what happened to people and he saw how their minds would go and how some people had strong mental fortitude and how some people didn't and how some people lived through it and how some people didn't

based off of the way that their belief system was. And one of the things he says is, is the last human freedom that we have is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. There will always be choices to make. So what he's saying is that your last freedom

is to choose how you're going to feel in any circumstance. Also, how you're going to feel based off of what somebody says to you. And I'm not saying to go out and just start cussing directly at people. That's not what I'm saying in any sort of way. But what I am saying is, if you feel like your authentic self cusses or your authentic self doesn't wear black anymore and black and white, and you've been, you've been, you know,

dumbing down your colors and you just want to wear bright, flashy colors and you want to be more extravagant than you ever have. And that's actually your true self, step into that true version of yourself. Are people not going to like it? Absolutely. When you step into true, authentic version of yourself, there's going to be people that are offended by it because they are stuck in programs that they can't get themselves out of. And seeing you at your highest version of yourself is going to offend them in some sort of way because you are the perfect example of what they wish that they could be. But their lack of freedom in their own mind is holding them from stopping them and holding them back from stepping into that version of it. So you have to realize that. That's going to happen. You're going to get some haters,

but most people are going to love you. That's the beautiful thing about it. There's a small, small, small percentage of haters that live out there. But you have to learn who you truly authentically are. So who are you? What does the authentic you look like? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Have you ever sat down and said, what is the true, authentic version of Rob look like? What does a true, authentic version of you look like? What does it look like? Are you the same person in front of everybody? Or do you act a certain way in front of your friends, and then you act a certain way in front of your family, and then you act a certain way in front of your mom, and it's all different? Because that's just a mask that you're putting on and pretending to be somebody else. If you're acting a certain way in front of your friends,

and then you get in front of your mom and you act completely different, that's a construct that you have to abide by. And anytime you set up a new construct of this is who I truly am, but this is how I have to act at school. This is how I have to act at work. This is how I have to act. This is why I had to quit a job and I can't work for anybody else because I'm highly offensive, I guess, if I'm just cussing and being the way that I am, right? It's not allowed. But if you have to be a certain way in front of your friends and then in front of your mom and then in front of work and then in front of your significant other, it's tiring. And the reason why it's tiring is because it's like a new construct is opened up with each person that

you have to be different in front of. And it's like opening up your computer and going to Safari or Chrome and opening up a thousand different tabs. Eventually the computer is going to start running way slower because you have so many tabs open. You have so many tabs open and so many constructs that you have to be, quote unquote, have to be for other people. When you're just truly authentically who you are, you don't have to worry about any tabs being opened because that's just you. You have a standard operating procedure. It is you. Maybe you cuss. Maybe you're flamboyant. Maybe you wear crazy colors. Maybe you have haircut that's different. Maybe you have purple hair. Maybe you have pink hair. Whatever is truly authentically the version of you is the one I want

you to find. So what does that look like? Do you like to dance around? Do you like to be louder? Do you like to cuss? Do you like to wear colors? Do you like to act a certain way? As long as it's not offending anybody else, or I'm not offending because it's going to offend. As long as you're not hurting anybody else, step into it. Be that person. Step into your true authentic self.

Will people enjoy it? Yes. You're going to find that you will actually start to light other people up by being this way. Once again, there will be people who don't like it. Doesn't matter. You won't be everybody's cup of tea. But you stepping up and being your weird, true, authentic version of yourself

is going to wake people up from the programs that they've been in and go, oh, yeah, I do like to be a little bit crazier. That person's actually waking something up inside of me. They're funny. They're fun. I like to be more funny and fun. You know what? I've been kind of dull this past week. Maybe I should be more funny and fun. Maybe I should wake up and just have more fun with each moment that I have. You know what? I like that person's shoes, those bright neon shoes. I've been wearing such ugly shoes the past few years. Like I feel like I don't normally wear

shoes like this. I used to wear bright colored shoes. Screw it. I'm going to go buy, I'm going to go on Amazon right now and find some bright colored shoes. You start to wake people up. And it's, it's like Marianne Williamson said, it's not our, it's not our, our darkness that scares us the most. It's our light from stepping into our true authentic version of ourselves because we're afraid, you know, it's the, the, the brightest light gets the most arrows. You know, if you're, if we go back to hundreds or thousands of years ago, if you're walking around and you have the brightest light in the middle of the night, you're going to get the most arrows if you walk into the wrong territory. So we,

we dim our lights for other people thinking that we're going to, you know, stepping into our truest version of the self is going to offend other people or hurt other people. It won't hurt anybody. It will wake most people up, you know, and you have to realize that you're, once again, I'm going to say it over and over again, you're not going to be everybody's cup of tea and that's completely fine. You don't need to be everybody's cup of tea, but the majority of people are going to love you. And you know, if you have a podcast like I do, and you haven't been your true authentic self, step into what that true authentic version of yourself is. Be the true authentic version of yourself. You know, if you're, if you're, you know, holding back from being a certain way and your true authentic self is the other way that you need to be, how can you start stepping into that?

How can you go through a discovery process of going, who am I? What am I? What do I love? I'm going to bring out my true authentic version of myself in everything that I do because we want to fit in. It's programmed into us. We're tribal beings, but there's no reason to fit in anymore. Like we want to fit in just because it used to keep us alive thousands of years ago when we were in a tribe. You didn't want to stand out because if you stood out, you could possibly be kicked out of the tribe. Now you're not going to be kicked out of a tribe. So it's programmed into you. You're designed to be different. You're designed to be your own perfect authentic version of yourself. What does that look like?

And it's like Jim Carrey says, your need to be accepted in this world will make you invisible. You don't want to be invisible. I know you don't. You want to be your true authentic version of yourself. You just might need to rediscover who that true authentic version of yourself is. Do you know who it is? Do you know who it is? Do you need to journal through it? Do you need to start thinking about it? And are you being somebody different than you truly are? My hope for you is that you find out who you truly are and you have the courage to step into it. Because once you do that, life becomes a lot more fun, becomes a whole hell of a lot easier as well. So step into that version of yourself. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. Rob Dial

Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. So I greatly appreciate you for always sharing it. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode, making sure mission makes someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.