The Mindset Mentor - How to Change Your Identity - TAKE ACTION PT. 1

Episode Date: August 16, 2021

This is episode #1 of a three part series on my secrets to taking action. In this episode, I will teach you how to change the subconscious identity that you have of yourself so that you can stop self-sabotaging and finally get moving in the right direction! Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dylann. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button since you never miss another podcast episode. And if you are out there and you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive motivational text messages from me directly to your cell phone text me right now 1 512-580-9305 once again 1-512-580-9305 today we're going to talk about how to change your identity and this is actually the first episode of my first ever three-part series so i'm gonna do three episodes on how to take action and And the very first one is going to be today where I talk about how to change your identity. So when I talk about this, you have to realize when I talk about your identity, what I mean by that is the story

that's going on in your head at all points in time about yourself, about your presence, about your past, about your family, about the world around you and everyone around you as well. So when I say your identity, it's literally in my mind, the most important part of you and who you are. The problem is most people have an identity that doesn't line up with the future that they want to create. I promise you this. If you have an identity that doesn't line up with the future that you want to create. I promise you this. If you have an identity that doesn't line up with the future that you want to create, you will never create that future. The only way to create the future that you want is to first change your identity. So you have a story, an identity

that's going on in the back of your head at all points in time. And it's just a story. None of it is actually true. It changes the, you know, what you do, everything that you don't do. It's everything that you think about yourself, everything that you think about everybody else that's around you, the importance that you place on your history and your past and everything that's happened and the importance of your current circumstances that you're currently stuck in. And it will dictate the future that you're going to have. Once again, it is the most powerful thing in the world

for each person because it will shift the way that you work in this world. And rarely do I ever talk about this, but I should talk about this more. And rarely, I almost never hear anybody talking about this. I don't think people understand the importance of changing your identity. And when I work with somebody or when someone comes to me with an issue or a problem or some of my past coaching clients that I've had before, I listen to them.

But when I'm listening to them, I also try to identify the story that they're telling themselves behind that. Because at any point in time, someone's always telling themselves some sort of story, some sort of story of this is how I am. This is why I will get what I want. This is why I won't get what I want. So I'm listening to them, but I'm also trying to listen to what's going on behind the scenes. And if somebody is usually talking, like if you're in a conversation with a really good friend and it's a long conversation and they're venting to you, you can listen to them. But also when they're on a long tangent, usually their subconscious, their identity, their story will be very blatant if you're listening for it. And you can hear

maybe a victim mindset. You can hear, I'm not going to get it because of this, or I'm not as good as she is, or I'm not as smart as he is. You can hear it behind what they're actually saying. But once again, it's all a story. Beautiful thing about that is when we become aware of it, we can change that story. When we change that story, we change our identity. When we change our identity, we change our action. We change our actions, we change the results that we get in our life. So why is it so important? Because your life and the results that you have in your life will always align with the identity that you have for yourself. So your life will not change if your identity does not change. Let me give you a few examples of what I see very often. And these will probably hit home with some of you, or you know somebody who's like this, I guarantee. So I'm

going to give you a few different examples that I see often. Somebody who's overweight, right? Often, a lot of people who are overweight, they're not overweight because of their genes. They're not overweight because of anything else other than the identity that they have for themselves. So let me give you an example of what I mean. Their story might be, well, I'm just a fat kid. I have a really good friend who struggles with losing weight. It goes up and it goes down. It goes up and it goes down because he still subconsciously sees himself as a fat kid. And he's become aware of it. And as he's become aware of it, he started to shed that identity that he has himself. Or it could be my whole family is overweight. So it's in my genes. So I'm just always going to be overweight. It's just in my genes. Or losing weight is hard for me. Have you ever

heard somebody say that before? Have you ever said it before? Or I'm just not athletic. I didn't play any sports when I was younger. Have you ever heard that one? Have you ever said that one? Or, you know, if I had her body, then it would be easier for me to look thinner. You know, if I was taller, then of course I would look better.

Have you ever heard that? Have you ever said it? So you have to think about this. Oh yeah, I'm shorter. So, you know, weight just gets on me a lot easier than it does for people who have different body types, right? Whatever it might be. And I'm not saying that some people don't have different body types. I'm not saying that some people don't have different genes. What I'm saying to you is it's just a story. And if you latch onto that story, you'll never actually change your life. So you've got to be very aware of the story that you're telling yourself, whatever it might be. It's all everything I just gave you. It's all the same excuse,

but it's all just different flavors of the same excuse. And the excuse is, I will never look the way that I want to because of X. And we're taking the blame and putting on something external versus going, you know what? Maybe I don't have the same body as her, but I'm still going to get in the shape that I want to. Maybe I don't have the same genes as him, but I'm still going to get into the shape that I want to. Maybe, you know, I don't have, uh, I wasn't raised athletic and I never played any sports, but it doesn't mean anything. The trainer that comes over to our house and works out with my girlfriend and I, she was never athletic. She told us that she never played any sports. But if you look at her now,

she looks really damn athletic because she just decided that she was going to get into fitness. So you've got to think about it that way. So if we take the example of the overweight family, my whole family is overweight. It's just in my genes. It's just the way that I am. It makes somebody think it is in my DNA. It is absolutely unchangeable. If it's unchangeable, why in the hell would you ever eat healthy? Because we all know that most of the time, like, are there good, healthy things you can eat? For sure. Absolutely. But hey, pizza tastes way better than salad. I don't care. Pizza tastes, in my opinion, pizza tastes better than anything, right? So you have to think about that. If you have the choice of should I eat healthy or should I eat something that tastes really good? Well, if it's in my DNA and it doesn't matter, then why the hell would I eat healthy? So then what do people do? Because

their story, their identity that's going on in their head is I have this in my genes. It's in my DNA. They automatically make the choice, AKA the actions go towards, well, I'm just going to make a choice that's going to be easier. It's going to taste better because it doesn't matter what my choice is. I'll always be overweight. Same exact thing. If it's in your genes, why would you ever go and work out? Working out, some people like working out. I'm not a fan of it. I force myself to do it, but it's not like I'm like,

oh my God, I can't wait to work out today. It's like, no, I'm gonna work out because it's good for me and it's good for my body. That's the only reason why I do it, right? And because I wanna look better, that's it. But I'm not like, oh my God, I can't wait to go torture myself today. So if your story is my whole family's overweight,

it's in my DNA, then why would you ever force yourself to work out? No way. Screw that. Sit on the couch and eat a pizza, you know, hang out, drink a beer, do something else. So if it's in your story, in your identity, why would you ever take the actions for a better body if you think that you're completely unchangeable? The identity changes your actions. Your actions change your results. Your results go back into your identity and you'll say, oh yeah, well see, look at me, my body's overweight. That's just the way that I am. Your identity, your thoughts, your feelings in that identity will always dictate your actions or lack of actions, which will always get you results, which are either the results that you

want or the results that you don't want. So it's the identity of yourself bleeding into your actions. Always go into your actions. Your actions go always into results. And here's a key point. Your results will always line up with your identity, unless you go with what I'm about to tell you in just a few minutes. Your results will always line up with your identity, unless you go with what I'm about to tell you in just a few minutes. Your results will always line up with your identity. Hey, these days it'd be hard to sit down and find time to learn. And it's not easy with social media.

They can be so addictive and so time consuming. So you might be out there thinking, oh my God, I'm so busy. I don't have time to develop myself. If you're in that situation, there's an app that I highly recommend. It's called Blinkist. Blinkist is for anyone who cares about learning, but doesn't have a whole lot of time on their hands. And Blinkist takes the key ideas and insights from over 4,000 nonfiction bestsellers in more than 27 categories

and gathers them in a 15 minute text and audio explainers that help you understand the core ideas. There's already over 15 million people using Blinkist to broaden their knowledge in 27 nonfiction categories, including self-help, personal growth, management, leadership, mindfulness, happiness, and so much more. And I love Blinkist because it's short and to the point, and you can learn about an entire book in 15 minutes. And right now, Blinkist has a special offer just for this audience. If you go to Blinkist.com slash mindset, you get to start your seven day free trial and get 25% off of Blinkist premium membership. So that's Blinkist spelled B-L-I-N-K-I-S-T.com slash mindset. And you'll get 25% off and a seven day free trial. It's the way it's going to work. And when they line up with the identity,

they reinforce it. So let me give you an example. If I'm overweight and I think my whole family's overweight and there's no chance that I'll be overweight, well then I'm going to take actions like not working out, like not eating as healthy as I could. And those are going to give me results. And those results are going to line back up with my identity of I'm still overweight. Look at me. I'm still gaining weight because I'm not, obviously I'm not taking the actions that I need to, but I'm still saying to myself, I'm still overweight. See, it must be because it's in my genes. That is then reinforcing my identity, which is making my identity stronger, which is reinforcing

it at every moment. The beautiful thing about your identity, it's not concrete, but the more that you get results, results, results that line up with that identity, the more it reinforces it and makes it stronger. And you think I will always be this way. And this is just the way that I am. You know, I, I don't have the body that I want because my genes aren't correct because it's in my DNA. You know, I wasn't dealt the right hand. Maybe next time around, I'll get into a family with better DNA, whatever it is, right? And your identity becomes fortified and too strong to break unless you're really willing to work to break that identity. But it's just a story. It's literally just a narrative that you're telling yourself in your

head, and none of it is true. We make all of it up. Let me give you another example. If my identity, if I think to myself because of past things that might've happened to me in my past and failing tests and not doing great in school or making it hard to graduate. If I tell myself, in the back of my head is I'm not smart

or I'm not as smart as everybody else or I'm not good at math. A lot of people say that. I'm like, well, not really. You could get better at math if you really wanted to. If I'm not smart, think about this for a second. Let's say that when you were younger, you went and you took a test. And you take a test and you go and you're writing it all out. You're excited about it. You think you did really well. You studied really hard for this test. When you're eight, nine, 10 years old, you studied really hard. You did really well. You thought you did really well. You studied really hard for this test when you're, you know, eight, nine, 10 years old. You study really hard. You did really well. You thought you did really well. And then when you get the paper back, the teacher has all, there's all red

marks all over it. And you look at it and then you see your friend's paper next to you, who you know doesn't seem to be as smart as you. And actually they seem to be kind of dumb. Let's just say that they're the kind of like a dumber kid. And you look at their paper and there's nowhere near as many red marks. Well, then you're going, oh my God, I'm dumber than my friend that I thought was dumb. I must be really dumb. Imagine how that identity placed onto somebody can change the actions that they're going to take. If you're dumb, why would you ever study for a test? Because you're automatically going to fail. If you're dumb, why would you show up for school? Because you're not going to do very well. If you're dumb, if you're not as smart as

everybody else, why would you ever put in the extra effort and study longer or put more research into something? Because you already know the results. The results are you're dumb. So that one event can change the way that someone perceives himself and that can change their identity. Now, let me give you the exact same example, but let's change it around a little bit. Let's say that when you're leaving class, the teacher pulls you aside and says, hey, wait for a second. Wait till everybody leaves. I want to talk to you. You're like, okay. And then everybody leaves and the teacher pulls you aside and says, Hey, you know, I got to talk to you. I think that you're the smartest kid in the class. And the reason why I marked up your paper so much is because I want to challenge you

to get better. Cause I think that you're better than what you did. I want to challenge you. Cause I think that you're the smartest person in this class and I want you to do even better. You did really well in this test, but the reason why I graded you so hard is because I know you can do better. I know that you're smart. I know that you can be the smartest kid in this class. How do you think that would change a child's perception leaving the class as if the teacher didn't talk to him? It's the exact same situation. The only difference is the child leaves the classroom thinking I'm dumb in the first situation and I'm smart in the next situation. So if that child now thinks that they're smart, that's their identity, the story that they're telling themselves. How do you think that's going to change their actions

later on in their life? Maybe they're going to study harder. Maybe they're going to show up earlier. Maybe they're going to ask the teacher more questions. Maybe they're going to pay more attention. Maybe they're going to put more time into research simply because their identity is different. I'm dumb versus I'm smart. The actions that come from I'm dumb are going to be different than the actions that come from I'm smart. And if the actions are different,

the results will be different. And the results will go back into the identity and reinforce it, whatever it happens to be. But once again, it's all, all of it, just a story. And that's the beautiful thing about it. There's a story of a, of a guy who was in high school like 20 years ago and never did good in school, never did good on any tests. None of that. He skipped school a lot, didn't hang out with the best people. And his mom wanted him to take the SATs, which is, you know, just the, a test here to get into colleges. And his mom was like, Hey, go take the SAT. And he's like, I'm dumb. There's no reason for me to

take the SAT. And she's like, please just try to see if you can do it to get into a college. So he goes and takes the SAT and the SAT is out of 1600 and he comes back and he gets a 1480. And his mom's like, Holy crap, you just got a 1480. And she's like, did you cheat? He's like, no, I didn't cheat. She's like, are you sure you didn't cheat? He goes, yes, I'm positive. I didn't cheat. And she goes, oh my gosh, well, you might actually be a lot smarter than you thought you were. And so it clicks in his head of, oh my God, I'm smart. What the hell have I been doing for all of these years? So he starts changing his actions. His identity is shifted from dumb kid to smart kid. His actions change because of

that. He starts hanging out with people who go to school and actually pay more attention, some smarter kids. He stops hanging out with the kids that aren't going to school and partying too much. He starts showing up earlier instead of skipping classes. He decides that he wants to put more effort into all of his studies and everything that he does. And with that, he ends up getting into an Ivy League school here in America. And with that, ends up doing really well in Ivy League school because his identity changed, means his actions changed, and then ends up becoming a CEO of a company. Super successful. And then 12 years later, he gets a letter in the mail from the SAT panel, and they actually messed up on his SATs. He didn't get

a 1480. He got a 740 and they accidentally doubled his number. So instead of doing really well on the test, he did terrible on the test. But what happened? Just the thought of that test coming through made him think I am smart. That I am smart changed his identity, changed his narrative, changed the story he was telling himself, naturally made him change his actions. His actions changed his results and his results reinforced the identity of I am smart. I am smart. Actually, I am smart. Man, when I do show up, when I do study, when I do put more time into it, I do really well.

His identity shifted simply from a test score that came back incorrectly. A lot of people have a money story. We all know somebody who has a money. We all know somebody who says I'm poor all the time. They make jokes about how they're always poor. If they always make jokes about that, guess what? That's their identity. They're going to take actions of a poor person. Not going to work as hard, not going to try to get promotions. Maybe they're not going to save their money. If their identity is I am poor, they will always be poor. That's just the way it's going to be. So if we want to change our results in life, which is why you're listening to this, which is why we're here, we want to get better results in our life. We must change our

actions that we take. We must change our actions in order to change our actions, we're going to need to change our identity of ourself. And our identity can shift at any moment. It's the story that we're telling ourselves. We've just got to become aware of the story. And when the story pops up, we've got to be there to change it. Your identity is just your personality that you place on top of yourself.

Your personality is just personality. The word personality comes from the root word persona, which is a Greek word, which is the mask that actors would wear when they would go on stage. That's what personality is. Persona is just a mask that you wear of who you think that you are. I'm smart. I'm dumb. I'm overweight. I'm fit. Whatever it is that you're telling yourself. So what's the story that you're telling yourself? whatever it is that you're telling yourself. So what's the story that you're telling yourself? Do you know? And if it doesn't line up with the future that you want, you must change it. Otherwise, you're always going to get the results that line up with your identity. You got to change the way that you talk to yourself. You've got to notice the negative thoughts when they come in.

You have to replace those negative thoughts with the thoughts that you actually want. So instead of seeing a girl when you're scrolling through Instagram and seeing a body and saying, well, that must be nice. I wish that I had her genes. You look at her and say, good for her. I am going to have a body like hers. See the difference in the way the story, the identity shifts?

Instead of, oh, I wish I had her genes, it's I'm going to have her body. I'm going to work really hard as well. I'm working really hard to have a body like hers. I'm working on my fitness. I'm working on my health to have a body that looks like hers. I'm willing to take the actions needed to have a body like hers instead of like, oh, I wish I had those jeans. Oh, poo poo on this person because they look better than I do. No, it's good for her. Good for him. I'm going to work hard and have a body like that as well. That's how you shift the identity through the mind. You got to change your mind about yourself, your story, your narrative in

order to change your actions and change your results. But the problem is people don't talk about the identity very much. Now there is another way to shift the identity. That's through the mind. The other way to shift the identity is through the body where you don't have to believe in yourself in order to take any actions. That's the beautiful thing body, where you don't have to believe in yourself in order to take any actions. That's the beautiful thing about actions. You don't have to believe in yourself. I don't have to believe that I'm going to get fit to go work out. But if I force myself to work out five times a week, my body's going to change. It doesn't matter what my mind thinks. So you can either shift through the body or you can shift through the mind, or you can shift through both. And that works even better because that's twice as much.

You get both of them. You get the body and the mind in there. So the other way to shift the identity is to force yourself to take actions that you know you need to take in order to get the life that you want. So if you, let me give you an example. If you have a story of, oh, I'm poor, I'm poor, I'm poor, I'm poor, but you want to make a hundred thousand dollars this year and you look at your numbers and you say, okay, I need to make a hundred cold calls a day and I'll make $100,000

this year. You can still tell yourself you're poor, but if you show up to a hundred cold calls every single day, you're eventually going to make a lot more money because you're just simply willpowering and forcing yourself to take action. If you think to yourself, it's just, you know, it's just how my family is. They're all just overweight, but you force yourself to take action. If you think to yourself, it's just how my family is, they're all just overweight, but you force yourself to meal plan, to look at your macros, to make sure that you're eating the right stuff,

to get rid of all of the crappy food, to give up alcohol, to give up sweets, to give up anything that's not healthy for you, and you force yourself to only eat things that are good for you, and you force yourself to go to the gym five times a week, you will get the body that you want. And when you start to get the body that you want,

your identity will start to shift if you're still working through the mind. That's the important part. You can't let the mind, the story just stay the same. You've got to start to look at your body shift and go, you know what? Maybe it's not my genes. Maybe it's not my genes. Oh, I am getting the body I want. I am getting the body I want. And when you use the mind and the body together, it makes it so much stronger. We have to consciously be changing our stories at all points in time because we all know, we all know people who have lost a hundred pounds and then gained it all back within the next two or three years. Why? Because they didn't, they forced themselves to do it through the body, but they didn't also shift the

mind. So we have to constantly be forcing the body, constantly be through the body, but they didn't also shift the mind. So we have to constantly be forcing the body, constantly be forcing the body, but also shifting the mind at the same point. We all know people who have won the lottery. We might not know somebody person, but we all see that people win the lottery. 70% of people who win the lottery end up losing all that money, spending all that money within a few years. Why? They got the actions. They got the results that they wanted. They were just placed in their bank account, but their identity never shifted. Their actions never shifted to do the things that a wealthy person would do. So in order to change your identity fully, you got to shift it through the mind by shifting the story that you're telling yourself.

And you've got to shift it through the body by forcing yourself, having the willpower to just show up and take the actions that are needed in order to get the results we want to in life. And if we force the mind and the body to change the story and the actual body itself to move and change, the results will change. And those results will start to change our identity and that identity will get stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. to change our identity and that identity will get stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. So if you want to change your life, you've got to shift your identity. The question that I have for you is what is the story that you're telling yourself? What is your identity? Is it that, oh, my family's overweight? Oh, I'm always going to be poor. Oh, I've always been stupid. Oh, I've always been pretty. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not

whatever it is. What is your identity that you're telling yourself? Ask yourself, is that identity going to line up with the future that you want? And if not, what is the identity that I need to have in order to get the future that I want? Because it's all just a story. What's the story that you need to shift to, to tell yourself to get the future that you want? You shift your identity through your mind. You shift your identity through your body. If you do this, it will make it so much easier to take action

towards the results that you want. That's why this is episode number one on taking action out of the three episodes we have coming out this week. So if you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, RobDialJr,

R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And,