The Mindset Mentor - How to Destroy Your Automatic Negative Thoughts

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And also make sure to give us a rating review if you've enjoyed the show at some point in time. Today, we're going to be talking about how to change all of those negative thoughts that are inside of your head. Now, first off, we're going to talk about why negative thoughts exist in the first place. I've got a lot of opinions on this. I've also got some, I guess, some, I wouldn't say it, empirical data, but I've got a lot of data from working with thousands of people. And I would say it's a little bit of nature. It's a little bit of nurture

Starting point is 00:00:43 as to why our negative thoughts exist. And I actually think that as we get older, as we have more responsibilities, that people actually, it is more natural to be negative. So that's the first thing I want you to realize. If you're negative as hell, it might actually not be your fault. It might just be natural, but it doesn't mean that you can't change it. It doesn't mean that you have to stay that way. The reason why I think that it's natural is because your brain is always searching for what is wrong so that it can keep you safe. Because think about this for a second. If your brain is sitting out there and it's saying, okay, you know, what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong, it's wrong. It's trying to figure out what's wrong around you so that it can keep

Starting point is 00:01:21 you safe at all points in time. Your brain is just a problem solving mechanism. That's all that it does. It's constantly looking for what is wrong so that it can solve it so that it can keep you alive because something that's wrong automatically needs to be solved and therefore you're safe. The thing about it though is that you're safe right now. Like as you're listening to me right now, you are safe. There's nothing that is immediate danger that's right in front of you, right? We all know that. When there's is immediate danger that's right in front of you, right? We all know that. When there's no immediate danger that's right in front of you, your brain is going to search for something still. And I always say a brain that is left up to its own devices is going to find something wrong. We've all done this before. You've been sitting around, nothing's

Starting point is 00:02:00 wrong, you're just hanging out, And immediately you start getting these bad thoughts, these bad feelings, and it becomes a cyclone of shit. You could call it, right? Where it's just like things are, you go from everything's amazing to, oh my God, this is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. Your brain starts searching for what's wrong because it thinks that it needs to keep you safe. A brain left to its own devices will find something that's wrong. And finding something that's wrong and searching for something that's wrong, we would call negative, right? It searches for what is negative. And so when you look at a child, children aren't really negative, but as you tend to get older, you got more responsibilities. You got to pay for your bills. You got to keep

Starting point is 00:02:39 yourself alive. When you're a child, you're not in charge of your safety. There's somebody that's really taking care of your safety. So you can kind of just be free. But as you get older, safety is something that you become in charge of. So you have to start focusing on, okay, I've got to start finding ways to be safe to protect myself. And as you do that, your brain starts looking for things that are negative. So now that we know why you're negative

Starting point is 00:03:02 and know that you're not weird if you're negative and know that it's natural and know that it can be changed. How do we change this? Knowing that all of this is the case, we can let it run rampant and we can let our brain go crazy and just be negative and get anxiety and stress and worry and fear, or we can decide that we want to control it. I always give people an example. It kind of blows their mind when they think about it. But if I'm sitting here, for those of you guys that are watching through video, those of you guys in the podcast listening, you're not gonna be able to see this. But if I'm sitting here and my arm starts flying all over the place and moving all kinds of crazy, you'd be looking at me going,

Starting point is 00:03:33 what the hell's wrong with Rob's arm? Like he needs to control it, right? Simply because I should be controlling my arm. Why? Because it's part of my body. Like if my arm was just, we had just arms that were just going all weird and crazy, that'd be kind of odd, wouldn't it? Because we control our body. What's the difference between me not being able to control my arm and me not being able to control my brain? The difference is we think that our brain isn't something that can be controlled. So let's talk about how to not let your mind run rampant and how to actually change the negative thoughts inside of your head. There's two ways to do it.

Starting point is 00:04:09 Two ways. And if you can master these two ways, it's going to help you out a lot. Number one is you've got to do it through your mind. My favorite is thinking of your mind as a garden. There's a book called As a Man Thinketh. It's like a hundred years old at this point. And he gives this example as your mind, as if your mind is a garden. And an easy way to think of it is this. Let's say that your mind is a garden and you're the only person that can tend to this garden. There's nobody else in the world that can tend to this garden except for you. You know that if you had strawberry seeds and you went and you planted these strawberry seeds in all of their perfect places and you watered them and you make sure they got sun, if you plant all these strawberry seeds, they start to grow. You see the little green guys come out of the ground and eventually you're like, oh my gosh, it's going to happen.

Starting point is 00:04:53 You would never expect that you are going to get tomatoes from that, right? You never expect that. You know, if you plant strawberry seeds, you're going to get strawberries. You're not going to get tomatoes. So how could you possibly think that if you're going to get strawberries. You're not going to get tomatoes. So how could you possibly think that if you're thinking negative thoughts, negative thoughts, negative thoughts all day long, that you're just going to eventually have a beautiful, positive mind, beautiful, positive life, that your first thought isn't going to be negative? How crazy would it be for me to have negative thoughts all day long, and then something something happens to me and then I get mad and surprised that I have a negative first thought. No, it's like I planted those negative thoughts. I'm going to get more negative thoughts. I'm going to reap

Starting point is 00:05:35 what I sow. Same way that I can never expect to just think negative all day long and then just have beautiful positive thoughts that just come out of it, right? Same way that I can't expect that if I plant strawberries, I'm going to get tomatoes. So imagine that you're the only one that's in control of this garden, right? The other thing to think about is this. If you're the only one that's in control of this garden, eventually you know what's going to grow, right? Anybody who's ever planted anything, if you have property, we have property here, freaking weeds. They just grow, right? We weeds are going to grow but you're the only one that can tend to this garden so you can let those weeds grow

Starting point is 00:06:09 more negative thoughts by themselves just popping up that's the equivalent negative thoughts coming up or you can pluck them as soon as they start coming up you start pulling all of those weeds you're the only one that control it so if the weeds pop up and it starts overflowing and you get too many weeds that's your fault there's no one else that can do it so when the weeds pop up and it starts overflowing and you get too many weeds, that's your fault. There's no one else that can do it. So when the weed pops up, you pull it, throw it away. Pops up, pull it, throw it away. Same exact thing for the negative thoughts that pop up in your head. Whenever a weed does grow, you've got to get rid of it. Weeds are going to grow in any garden, of course, but you can either pull them or you can leave them. And you have to make sure if you're

Starting point is 00:06:43 the only one that keeps control of your garden, you must keep it as clean as you possibly can. Anytime a negative thought or a weed pops up, you've got to get rid of it as soon as you possibly can. Hey, let me tell you about the most comfortable shorts in the game. 10,000 makes the highest quality, best fitting, and most comfortable training shorts that I've ever worn. I'm literally wearing some right now. And at the core of 10,000, there's three core training shorts that I've ever worn. I'm literally wearing some right now. And at the core of 10,000, there's three core training shorts that are built for the ways that you train, whether it's high intensity interval training, spinning, Metcons, short runs, or yoga, they've got you covered. 10,000 is a direct to consumer company with no middleman. So you get premium fabrics,

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Starting point is 00:08:11 So if I notice myself judging, I've immediately got to, that first thought pops up as judgment. I've got to look at that person. I've got to, in my head, I've got to say three positive things about them. Why? It's like pulling a weed, right? If I get cut off in a car, I can get pissed off. And I've gotten pissed off many times. I need to immediately notice when those feelings start to arise to switch my mindset around it. And what do I usually do? Try to make it funny.

Starting point is 00:08:38 And I go, oh, that person's probably got a poop, right? So I go from being pissed to he's got poop. And it makes me laugh. And I'm like, ah, whatever. I just, what am I doing? I'm changing my state. I'm changing my mindset around what happened versus like this person cut me off. That's so dangerous. What are they doing? As if I've never cut somebody off in my entire life. What a freaking, you know, what a liar I am in my own head of like, oh, that person put me in danger. That's what I'm thinking. As if I've

Starting point is 00:09:02 never cut somebody off is we've never cut somebody off. Right? We're always perfect in our own heads when there's someone else doing something wrong. So if someone cuts me off, instead of being pissed off, I got to switch my mindset. I've got to pull that weed. Maybe they got to poop, right? Your mind is like a wild monkey just jumping around breaking shit. And they're going to jump around and break stuff until you decide that you're going to put it in a cage. So when you notice that your mind is doing stuff that you don't want it to do, you are the person that has to put it in cage. It can continue to keep breaking glass and throwing stuff all over the place and taking its poop and throwing it at people that walk in. Or you can take that monkey, you can put it inside the cage and you can say, I am the one

Starting point is 00:09:36 in control. And that is when you start to take your power back. So that's the first thing. You've got to take your mind and you've got to focus on getting the negative thoughts out through your mind. The other way of how to change your negative thoughts, second thing, is through your body. So a really interesting study that Harvard did found that when people change their physiology, their thoughts and their feelings change as well. Simply changing the way, I want you to be aware of this right now. How are you sitting? Right? Are you sitting in your state the way that you're sitting? You're now aware of it, aren't you? Literally, side camera, Chris, my videographer,

Starting point is 00:10:16 just shifted her body because she became aware of the fact that she was slouching a little bit. Now you got to ask yourself, we all slouch. All of us do. We're on computers, we're driving, we're all those things. But if we're slouching as often as we are, is slouching a weak or a powerful position? We all know it's a weak position, right? So we've got to become aware of our physical body. Our physical body will actually change the chemicals in our body and the chemicals in our brain. They found at Harvard that if you put your hands in a, it's called a power position. You've heard of power position, most likely. Put your hands on your waist and you stand there and breathe deep for two minutes. It will actually lower the cortisol, which is the stress hormone inside of your body. It'll actually release

Starting point is 00:10:58 dopamine, which is the motivation chemical inside of your body, right? So, it will lower the bad chemicals. It will raise the better chemicals. So how do we start to change our thoughts? We start to change the way we feel. We also change our body. Let me give you an example. Let's say that I want you to think of somebody who is depressed, right? Not somebody that you know, but I want you to see what somebody looks like that's depressed, right? Think of him as a cartoon. There's a depressed cartoon. It's a human. What does he look like, right? I bet we could a cartoon. There's a depressed cartoon. It's a human. What does he look like, right? I bet we could all say the same thing. Shoulders are down.

Starting point is 00:11:35 The head is probably down. If you think of how they're talking, they're probably talking slow. They're probably talking low and they're slumped over and that's just the way that they look. And we all know the physiology of depressed bodies, right? A depressed or anxious person or sad person. We know the physiology of what that person would look like. Now, if I said describe somebody that's walking into a room confident, what do they look like? And see that person inside of your head, right? They're standing straight. Their chin is up. Their shoulders are back. They're probably talking louder. They're probably talking with confidence. You can hear the boom in their voice, right? We know the difference between looking at somebody who is sad and depressed and looking at somebody who is confident and excited. We know the difference between the two of those. So when you think about your physical body and wanting to

Starting point is 00:12:19 shift your thoughts, you can shift your thoughts in your mind, yes, but you also need to shift your thoughts. You can shift your thoughts in your mind, yes, but you also need to shift your body to realize that your body is actually controlling the way that you think, the way that you feel, the chemicals that are going on inside of your body. Explain to me, if I were to say, hey, take a pen and paper, write down everything that you would see in a happy person, right? What would it be? They would be standing up straight. They probably have their shoulders back. There'd be a smile on their face. Why is that important? Why is this important? Because your physiology will literally change the chemicals in your brain. So when you notice yourself, I always notice myself and I'm like, dude, my posture sucks. Why am I sitting like this? Right? Immediately I'm like, all right, this posture is not a power posture.

Starting point is 00:13:10 Let me try to put myself into a powerful position knowing that when I do this and stay there and breathe deep, I'm actually going to change the chemicals in my brain. I'm going to change the chemicals in my body, which then puts me into a place of power. And when I'm in a place of power, am I thinking negative? No, I'm thinking positive. I'm thinking powerfully. I'm going to dominate this task that I have to do. I'm going to go up and I'm going to give this talk. I'm going to give the best talk that I possibly can. If you notice you're about to, if you're really nervous about something, you're about to go give a speech in front of your company

Starting point is 00:13:36 and maybe you have to present something. Think of your physiology. What's your physiology like? You've got to change it. Change your state will change everything about you. So you're like, all right, let me get into a power posture. Let me get my chin up. Let me get my back straight. Let me get my shoulders back. Let me talk a little bit louder. Let me breathe deeper. Let me put my hands on my hips and let me breathe for two minutes. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm also going to talk positively to myself. I'm going to look myself in the mirror

Starting point is 00:14:03 as I do this. I'm going to look myself dead in the eyes and be like, you're a badass. You're amazing. You have so many great accomplishments. You're so great. Whatever it is you need to say, right? You don't usually feel like shit after a great workout, do you? No, you're motivated. You're inspired. You've got ideas running through your head. You usually feel like shit when you've been sitting on the couch all day long, not moving your body, not making your physiology, not making something happen. Right? I was listening to an interview because I'm interviewing George St. Pierre pretty soon, which you guys will be hearing, which is awesome.

Starting point is 00:14:32 He is the ex-UFC fighter who is an actual champion in multiple divisions, multiple weight classes, considered one of the best fighters that's ever lived. And the interesting thing about it is he says he hates fighting, but he would get really anxious and really fearful right before he's about to go into a fight because he doesn't know what's about to happen. He's about to go into a fight in a cage. This guy could knock him out. They could break his nose. He could be covered in blood. He doesn't know. There's so much unknown going into a cage fight where someone's just there to try to knock you out. That is the most unknown situation possibly for all of mankind, right? So there's a lot of fear and anxiety he'd

Starting point is 00:15:11 feel. And so he said he had to literally before he would go and walk in, he would have to look himself in the mirror. He'd have to fix his physiology. You have to look himself dead in the eyes and you have to start giving himself affirmation. Start talking positively to myself. You're faster than this guy. You're more powerful than this guy. You've been training harder than this guy. You're going to win. You're going to win. You're going to win.

Starting point is 00:15:30 He had to literally start to talk to himself and as he said, become a different person. And he would be that person up until the bell, the final bell was done and someone's hand was raised. He would make himself become a different person mentally through his mind and physically through his body. So next time you start to feel negative thoughts, you start to feel down, you start to feel unmotivated, change your mind, change your thoughts. And then number

Starting point is 00:15:54 two, change your body, change your physiology. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know, love. Please share it on Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way that we grow is from you guys sharing this. So I always greatly appreciate it. I always see hundreds of people sharing this podcast every single day that new episodes comes out. So I greatly appreciate you for that. The only way we grow is through you guys sharing it. So I love you for it. And I'm going to leave you the exact same way. I'll leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - How to Destroy Your Automatic Negative Thoughts

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