The Mindset Mentor - How to Do the Hard Work

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

Let's talk about how to get your butt up and do what needs to be done to create the life you want! Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ If you live in the US/Canada and you want to receive motivational texts from me, text me now at 1-512-580-9305 or click here https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial, and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you want to receive emails from me every Monday morning, telling you my intentions for the week so that you can steal my intentions if you want and put them into your week and see if it changes your week in any sort of way. Go to mondayemail.com right now. It's absolutely free. Once again, mondayemail.com and put your information in. I'll send you an email every single Monday with my intentions for the week to help you hopefully change your week for the positive. Today, we're going to be talking about how to focus on putting in the work that needs to be put in, in order to move the needle and to actually

make changes in your life. One of the things that I notice with people is that we tend to, first off, two things. Number one, we tend to go the easy route in almost everything that we do, unless we consciously are pushing ourself to go the harder route. And number two, we tend to focus on what we don't want over what we do want. And that's what we're going to talk about today is the difference between opportunity versus obligation. Okay. And so, you know, when we're doing something, we have the opportunity, we have the privilege to think about whatever it is that we want to think about. When we're doing something or we're not doing something, we have the privilege to think about anything that we want. The problem is most people tend to think about the things that they don't want. And so I'll give

you an example of the difference between focusing on the opportunity instead of the obligation. Most people, when they want to lose weight, when they want to get into shape, the reason why it's a struggle for them is because they're too focused on the obligation and not the opportunity. The obligation is that you have to go into the gym. You have to take time out of your day. You have to do something that is hard. And you don't see results the first time, the second time, the 10th time. Maybe you start to see something the 20th time, and you don't see results the first time, the second time, the 10th time. Maybe you start to see something the 20th time, so you don't even see results right away. So you're putting in effort and not seeing any of the results in the beginning.

But what a lot of people tend to do is they focus on the obligation, which is having to show up to the gym, having to push yourself, having to sweat, having to do something that's uncomfortable, having to do something that truthfully most people don't want to do. That is focusing on the obligation. And when you focus on the obligation, your brain wanting to go the easy route is going to want to try to avoid what is hard. You hear me on that? Your brain is going to want to avoid what's hard. So if you're focusing on the obligation of, oh my God, I got to take time out of my day. I'm so tired today. And now I got to go to the gym after a long day of work and I've got to push myself and I've got to sweat and I've got to do this and lift heavy weights and it's going to hurt. It's going to struggle a little bit. If you're focusing on the obligation, you're naturally

going to want to resist it. But what if instead of focusing on the obligation, you start focusing on the opportunity? So what's the opportunity in this? How about losing weight and getting into the best shape that you've been in since high school? What else is an obligation? How about you putting in the work and then next summer looking better in a bikini than you ever have?

Maybe you've never worn a really nice bikini because you're too embarrassed. Imagine what it would feel like to be at the beach looking hot as hell, looking amazing in that bikini and being able to show off your stuff and your hard work to everybody. What about that? That's an opportunity. Losing the weight's the opportunity. What about guys out there? You want to put on some muscle. You want to look, you know, you want to get the six pack that you've never had. That's the opportunity. So there is the obligation and the obligation will always have to happen. You will have to go to the gym. You will have to put in the work. You will have to sweat. But the opportunity

is the way that you're going to feel, the way that you're going to look, and the way that you're going to think of yourself in the future. Which one would you rather focus on? I'd rather focus on the opportunity because the opportunity, if I focus on it and I get excited about it, it makes it easier to go ahead and crank out the obligation. What's another example of this? How about eating healthy? Eating healthy, I mean, if we're being honest, I know some pretty good healthy meals that I've had, some pretty good stuff. It's good. But eating healthy sometimes can be a chore. Sometimes you just want something greasy. Sometimes you just want a burger. Sometimes you just want some cookies. Sometimes you just want something savory, right? So there is eating healthy and we can look and be like, damn it,

you know what? I just really wish that I could have a whole bunch of ice cream right now and not eat this thing that I'm, not eat this salmon that I just made. Salmon and rice, I'd rather have a freaking bowl of ice cream, right? So it's the obligation can be seen as the eating healthy. What's the opportunity with that? Well, the losing weight or getting into better shape. Or how about your body having more energy so that you can do what you need to do to create the life that you have? How about eating healthy because you can stay alive longer for your children? How about eating healthy so you can stay alive longer and have more energy to play with your grandchildren?

How about being able to walk your daughter down the aisle when you're not 100% sure if you're going to make it at this point right now? So we can focus on the obligation, which is the eating healthy. It still has to be done. Or we can focus on the end result, the downstream effect of the eating healthy, the more energy, the staying alive longer, the having the energy to play with your grandkids, the walking your daughter down the aisle. All of those things, those are the opportunities. I want to focus on the opportunity because then it makes it so much easier

and also makes you more motivated to go ahead and crank out the obligation. What else is an obligation? How about if you're a salesperson? Making calls, right? If you're a salesperson, it's always making calls. The obligation is making calls. We can sit there and be like,

oh my God, I don't want to do these freaking sales calls. I don't want to do another damn cold call. I've been there many, many times. What's the opportunity in that? How about buying your first house? What would it feel like to buy your first house? How about paying for your children's education and getting them into a school

and not having to worry about if you're going to have enough money to pay for their college or not? Because you worked hard, you already got the money. You're good. How about being able to take your family on trips that you've always wanted to take your family on? What would that feel like? What about being able to buy your mom a car? Because she's always had a bad car and she's always wanted a Lexus or she's always wanted a Jaguar. And you've always been like, man, it would be so cool to get that for her. Well, by putting in the hard work, what you're going to get is a downstream effects, which is the money to be able to afford it.

And so we're sitting there and we're thinking to myself, oh my God, I've only made 20 cold calls today and I need to make another 80 more. For those of you guys that are in sales, you know that pain, right? Like you know that pain. I know that pain. If none of you guys are in sales, if you listen to me, you're not in sales, be happy that you don't know that pain. When you're at 20 calls and you've got another 80 to go.

That's not a fun situation to be in. Not a situation I want to be in, you know? I've been there before. But you've got the obligation, which is the phone calls. Or you've got the opportunity of what your life would be able, what you would be able to have in your life, the downstream effects that you would have if you ended up making those calls, the buying the first house, the paying for your children's education,

the taking your family on the trips. What if you could take your family to Italy for a week, two weeks? What would that feel like? Notice, two weeks, what would that feel like? Notice I keep saying, what would that feel like? I want you to not only think about it, but I want you to embody the feeling of like, oh man, that would feel really good to look good in that bikini. It would feel really good to have a six pack. It would feel really good to have so much energy. It would feel really good to be able to take my family to Italy for two weeks. What would that feel like in your body? How proud of yourself would you be if you did that? Hey, 2020 is here and it is time to grow into the best version of yourself. And one way to do that is through books. And books have always been and will always be one of the most essential pieces to learning and growing. And

that's why Blinkist is so amazing. Although many books have great content, a lot of them have what I like to call fluff stories, stories that are put in the book to hammer a point home. But if you already understand the point, there's not really a need for five stories hammering the same point home. In Blinkist, you have all of the most important ideas and key takeaways from the world's top nonfiction bestsellers, all in 15-minute reads or listens. Use these Blinks to get inspiration, learn more about books you like to read, broaden your knowledge, get new perspectives.

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25% off and the seven-day free trial, Blinkist.com slash mindset. Hey, BrandCrowd is a logo maker tool that can help you make amazing logo designs online. Using high quality handcrafted designs, BrandCrowd takes your business name and industry and generates thousands of custom logos for you in seconds. And once BrandCrowd generates a logo that you like, you can choose the fonts, you can edit the colors, the layout until it's perfect, and then you can download all of the files that you need to start your business. But that's just the start. BrandCrowd also is more than just a logo maker. It's a tool to create, market,

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edit as many as you like for free. So check out brandcrowd.com slash dial. That's B-R-A-N-D-C-R-O-W-D dot com slash dial to learn more, to play with the tool for free, and get 66% off your purchase. What's another obligation? How about waking up early, right? Waking up early is definitely an obligation. You don't have to do it. Because when you wake up early, there's a part of you that's like, I could still be asleep right now. I don't know about you guys. I love my sleep. So waking up early is an obligation. You can focus on that and be like, oh my God, I got to wake up. I don't want to wake up. Or you can think about how much better you're going to feel after your morning routine.

You're going to think about how much better your entire day will be after having an amazing morning routine. You can think about how much better you're going to go out into the world and interact with people when you make sure you get that morning routine and your meditation in. You can think about how much better you're going to go out into the world and interact with people when you make sure you get that morning routine and your meditation in. You can think about how that's the only time that you have to work out, to work on your body, to go for that run, to do the yoga, to do the meditation, to make sure that you are a better person, a more fit person mentally and physically going out into this world. So we can focus on the obligation, which is, ah, shit, I got to wake up. Or we can focus on the opportunity of how we're going to feel, how we're going to act, how we're going to be mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually

when we wake up for ourselves and put the time in and start our day off on our terms versus starting the day off on somebody else's terms? Yeah, of course. Which one do you want to focus on? Let me ask you, which one sounds more motivating to you? To me, sounds more motivating so far to focus on the opportunity, doesn't it? Not the obligation. The thing is you still do the obligation, but you're focusing on the opportunity to motivate you to do the obligation. The work still needs to be done. I'll give you another example. You guys probably know I teach coaches how to grow coaching businesses. Part of running a coaching business is you do have to get onto phone calls and you do have to talk to people to see if they want to buy your services, right? You have to get onto these calls and you could think to

yourself, oh my God, I've got to get onto a phone call with someone. Or you could think to yourself, hey, if this person buys from me and I end up being their coach, I'm going to change their life. What's more motivating? Thinking about hopping onto a phone call or thinking about how you're going to change that person's life? For me, it's changing that person's life. And when you focus on having the opportunity to change that person's life, not having to, but the opportunity to change that person's life, makes it so much easier to get onto those phone calls, to build the business, to do the day-to-day things. So you have to realize that with every single thing that we do, every single goal that we have, there is the obligation and there's also the opportunity. And you have completely at your disposal at all points in time

the opportunities to think about whatever it is that you want. You could think about, you have the brain opportunities to think about whatever it is that you want. You could think about, you have the brain power to think about whatever it is that you want to think about. Why don't you at least think about the stuff that you want? Because it's really interesting. I would say it's, I mean, it's so crazy for me to say this, but about 95% of people in the world focus, and this is from me, like, this is my empirical data

of people I've talked to over and over and over and over and over and over again, is they focus on what they don't want more than what they do want. That's pretty wild, isn't it? It's like, you know what? I'm going to try to hit this target with the bow and arrow, but you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to aim in a different direction than the target is. You'd be like, are you high? The target's right there. And you're like, no, I'm going to aim over here and hopefully I'm going to hit that target. That doesn't make any sense. If you're going to try to hit a target with a bow and arrow, I hope that you're looking at the target. But if you're not looking at the target, you're looking in a different direction. You're like,

I'm going to look this different direction. I hope that it's going to hit that target. You know it's not going to hit that target. You have to be looking at it. And so how often are you going through your day focusing on what you don't want versus focusing on what you do want, focusing on what the end result is going to give you, focusing on how you want to feel. Your life is going to change when you start to notice yourself and become aware that a lot of your thoughts are thinking about the things that you don't want, aka aiming the wrong direction. And when you become aware of this, you go, oh my God, I'm doing it again. Oh my God, I'm doing it again. Oh my God, I'm doing it again. I'm thinking about this thing and I don't even want this thing. And you go, you know what? Let me make a little shift. And your life changes with these tiny shifts, a little shift here,

a little shift here, a little shift here. And you start focusing on the things that you do want. You start focusing on the opportunity. You start focusing on the end result. You start focusing on what you get when you put in the work. Because life is very simple, everybody. It is black or white. Either you get what you want in life or you don't. There's nothing in between. What is it that you want in life? You have to start working towards that thing. You either get what you want or you don't get what you want. I hope that you start focusing on the things that you want because the more that you focus on what you want, the more that you are likely to actually get it. It is looking at the target that you want to hit.

The first step is you got to look at it, right? And the second step is this, guys, and let me just give you a little hack in life to help you motivate yourself more along the way. Get really good at celebrating yourself. Get really good at being excited for yourself. Get really good at being your biggest cheerleader. A lot of times what we do is we focus on what we did wrong. I don't know if you guys ever done

this before. Have you ever gotten into a conversation with someone at like a party or like a get together or something like that? And then you leave and you realize, oh my God, I shouldn't have said that thing that I said to them. I could have said it another way. And you think about, you ruminate on the fact that you said this thing wrong, when in reality, this person's probably not even thinking about it anymore. If we're being honest, they probably didn't even remember what you said. And they were probably too busy thinking about what they were going to say that they'd even hear what you said, right? So we sit around and we focus on what we don't want. And we don't celebrate ourselves. We think about the things that we did wrong. What I want you to get really

good at is celebrating yourself along the way. What do I mean by that? I mean, when you show up to the gym to lift the weights, celebrate yourself at the end of that workout. Screw it. Celebrate yourself at the end of every single set. Fuck yeah, I showed up for myself today. I didn't want to be at this gym, but look at me.

I'm here and I'm doing it. You know how many people are not here? I'm here. I'm making it happen. Celebrate yourself in that moment because when you celebrate yourself, you motivate yourself to want to celebrate yourself again. Look at me. I'm starting to lose weight. Look at me. I'm starting to look better naked. Look at me. I'm starting to see a little bit of a, maybe a little bit of a sick pack. I still got a little bit of chunky chunk right here, but I'm at least seeing

a little bit of a sick pack. And start actually celebrating yourself. You know what? I ate healthy today. I really wanted that ice cream, but instead I had the salmon and rice. Fuck yeah, because I'm going in the direction that I want to. I'm trying to have more energy. I'm trying to stay alive longer for my kids. I'm trying to walk my daughter down the aisle. Fuck yeah, you showed up for yourself. Give yourself a freaking high five. You know what? I didn't want to do those 80 extra calls today, but I did them anyways. I'm on the road to buying my mom that house. I'm on the road to getting my children a better education. I'm on the road to taking my family on a two-week trip to Italy. And you start celebrating yourself. And you start getting excited about the journey that you're on

instead of focusing on, oh, I could have done this better. Oh, I should have done this instead. Oh, this is not the direction I want to go, but I'm focusing on this direction all day long anyways. Oh, you know what? I showed up for that person. That's the way that we should think. Oh, this is not the direction I want to go, but I'm focusing on this direction all day long anyways. Oh, you know what? I showed up for that person. That's the way that we should think. Oh, you know what? I showed up for myself. Oh, you know what? I put in the work. Oh, you know what? I woke up early. I did what other people are not doing because I'm, it's one of the quotes that my first manager used to say all the time is do what other, today we'll do what other people won't. So tomorrow we can do what other people can't. Do what other people won't so that tomorrow you can do what other people can't. What can you do today to set yourself apart? What can you do today that you can do that is

the obligation? You're still doing the obligation either way, but you're focusing on the opportunity and the chance of the opportunity is the thing that drives you and motivates you to work harder today. So instead of pushing yourself and pushing yourself and dragging yourself to do the things that need to be done, you're motivated to do the things that need to be done because you know the downstream effect of you actually taking action. Focus on what you want, not what you don't want want and celebrate yourself every single step of the way. And if you do that, fast forward a year, two years, five years, 10 years,

you will be in a completely different place with opportunities that many other people do not have in front of them. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories right now and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Once again, I tell you guys this all the time,

we don't have a massive corporation behind us that's pushing this podcast to grow and putting millions of dollars in Facebook ads and Instagram and all that stuff. The only way that this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. Last week, majority of the week, we were one of the top 60 podcasts in the entire world because

you guys are sharing it. So I greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart every single time that you share it. And once again, tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you all. I love you all. And I hope that you have an amazing day.