The Mindset Mentor - How To Fall In Love With The Work

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

Want to know a massive key to being extremely successful? To fall in love with the process. In this episode, I am going to teach you how to neurobiologically fall in love with the work you need to do to create the life you want.   Do you want to learn how to make $100k+ a year as a coach or consultant? If so, join my FREE 4-day workshop called The 6 Figure Coaching System on August 24-27th here: https://www.6figurecoachingsystem.com/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dyle, and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you want to receive more information from me, join my email list. I send out Monday morning mindset emails to help you impact you before you go into your week. So you can go to mondayemail.com right now. It's mondayemail.com right now. And I'll send it to you every single Monday, absolutely free. Today, we're going to talk about how to fall in love with the process of what it is that you need to do to take the

action that you need to, to create the life that you want. Listen, you want to accomplish your goal, right? You have some sort of goal, whether it's a money goal, whether it's a financial goal, whether it's a life goal, whether it's a travel goal, you have some goal you probably want to accomplish. Hopefully, if you're listening to this podcast, you're the type of person where you set goals for yourself. And when you want to go and you want to accomplish your goal, there's two ways that you can accomplish your goal. The first way is you can struggle your way to success. This is what I see most people doing. They have to struggle.

They feel like for some reason to be successful, it has to be very hard. It has to be hustle. It has to be grind culture. It has to be running yourself through the shit for years because you hear people talking about how they had to do things they didn't want to do and how hard it was for them to become successful. And you can take that path if you want to. That's your prerogative. If you want to just hate yourself the whole way to being successful, you can do that. And some people take that path. On the other side, you can love the process of who you need to become and what you need to do

in order to achieve it. You can love the process. You can love the work. You can love the challenges as they come up. And if you fall in love with the process, you'll actually realize that you go further. You know, it's like the quote that says, the man who loves walking will go further than the man who's just running for the goal, right? So if you think about somebody, I know many people who have trained for a marathon, right? They're not big runners, but they train for a marathon. They go run the marathon and then they never run again, or they run like very sporadically. It's not really like something that they do all the time. That person that just runs for the goal of finishing a marathon over the course of a lifetime is going

to get beat every single time by the man who just loves walking. The man who just loves walking over the course of his lifetime is going to go so much further. And this is the thing I don't think people really understand. When you see someone that's very successful, there's so many people that say, oh man, he's so wealthy. He's a multimillionaire. He's a billionaire at this point. Why doesn't he just retire? Because it wasn't about the money in the first place. It was about who he was becoming and the challenge, the fun of the game of having to grow and having to push yourself every single way. It's just a game for these people. That's why they continue to keep going because it's fun. And that's why they go so much further is because

they love the process of building the business versus just trying to get the end goal of making a million dollars. The man who loves walking will go further than the man who is just running for a goal. So that's what we're going to talk about today. How can you get yourself to actually love the process of building your business or building the life that you want or creating the family that you want or building the body that you want? How can you fall in love with the process? And we're going to talk about something called the dopamine reward system. This is awesome because we're going to dive into the actual neurobiology of your brain. So let's take a step back. What is dopamine? Most of you have probably

heard of what dopamine is. And most people think that dopamine is just a feel-good chemical in your brain. It's not just a feel-good chemical in your brain. That's more of a serotonin, where serotonin is more of like a everything's great, I feel amazing, gratitude. Dopamine is an outward-facing chemical. It is the, dopamine is a chemical of motivation, is a chemical of more. Dopamine is very externally focused chemical. Serotonin is here and now and everything's beautiful. Gratitude, grateful for all that you have. And that's, that's great. Both of them are amazing. But dopamine is a chemical of more. Dopamine is a chemical of motivation. When you are not motivated and you're at a very, you're in what they call a low dopamine state. When you are not motivated and you're in what they call a low dopamine state, when you are highly motivated and highly driven, that is called a high dopamine state.

And so this chemical is released when you get excited about something, when you're celebrating something. And the beautiful thing about dopamine itself is that it is a very subjective chemical. You can basically tell your brain when you want it to be released. That's the awesome part about it. And so in this episode, I'm going to be talking to you about how to use that chemical to take the action that you need to, to then take, create the life that you want to, because if you're going to create the life that you want, you've got to take the action. So let's talk about how to make it easier to take that action. So when you look

at some of the most successful people, you know, let's just say the greatest achievers, like we take some athletes, right? We take like Michael Jordan, we take Kobe Bryant, we take Tom Brady, we take some of the greatest CEOs. What do you think is a common trait among some of the greatest achievers? You might say hard work, and that would be true. You might say dedication, and that would be true. You might say obsession, and that would be true. All of those are true. But whether they knew that they were doing it a lot or not, most of them found a way to fall in love with the process. Not the end goal of a championship, but the process. I'm sure they probably didn't know that they were doing it, but they somehow set up a dopamine reward system attached to the process of getting better at whatever it is that they wanted to do. So what is a dopamine

reward system? It is a way to get your brain to basically release some dopamine after you accomplish a task that is part of your process. Not after you accomplish a goal, but after you accomplish a task that is a part of your process to get you to your goal. So let me give you a couple of examples. When I was younger and I used to be in sales, my very first company I was in, it was very common for us to come into the office and make a hundred phone calls. And to just make a hundred phone calls is not easy to do. That's for sure. And so one of my managers was super smart. And I don't know if he knew he was doing this on purpose or if he was just trying to kind of, you know, pull me along with like a carrot, you know,

like putting a carrot in front of a donkey. But he said, what's your favorite candy? And I was like, at that point, I was like Skittles. And so he said, okay, here's what we're going to do. You're going to write out, you know, we had this piece of paper and this piece of paper had one to a hundred. And every time we make a call, we would just cross off number one, we cross off number two, cross off number three. After I got to number 10, I would have three Skittles next to number 10. I'd have three Skittles next to number 20, three Skittles next to number 30 and so on and so forth. Right? And what happened was every time I got 10 phone calls done, I would get three Skittles.

When I get the next done, I would get three Skittles. When I get the next done, I would get three Skittles. When I get the next done, I'll get three Skittles. And when I got all 100 phone calls done, I could finish the entire bag of Skittles. What was happening is I was instead of celebrating when all of the, you know, instead of saying, hey, I want to set up 10 appointments and celebrating only when I set up 10 appointments or saying, hey, I want to get a hundred phone calls done and only celebrating getting the hundred phone calls done. It was like breadcrumbs that were laid out for me on my way to success. This is a dopamine reward system that just happened to be built for me when I was younger through Skittles. So the dopamine reward system is basically the breadcrumbs that you're setting up for yourself

for you to be successful. And the way I always think of it, the thing that always visually comes into my head is the movie E.T. If you remember when they're trying to get E.T. to go somewhere, they put Reese's Pieces out in front of them. That's basically what a dopamine reward system is visually for ourselves, is we're basically putting the Reese's Pieces to get ourselves from where we are to where we want to get ourselves to go. And research shows that this works really well. Research shows that having a small piece of chocolate, like not a bar of chocolate, a piece of chocolate, after a workout makes somebody more likely to show up and work out the next day. Do you know that?

Having a small piece of chocolate. Why? Because there's a little bit of a reward. In your brain, when it has dopamine, it wants more dopamine. And so how can you get yourself to fall in love with the process, but also in a way, almost become addicted to this process? How can you, instead of celebrating and being excited when you achieve a goal, how can you get yourself to celebrate for just showing up and doing the things that need to be done? The action-based goals, taking action

and using your goals instead of, you know, you want to have done. The action-based goals, taking action and using your goals instead of, you know, you want to have your big goals and your yearly goals, your monthly goals and all that stuff, but you also want to have goals each day that are just parts of your process. When you're looking to improve, look for the improvements that build on themselves, like hiring for your business. You get better at hiring, you hire great people faster, your business grows, and you keep on hiring. So how do you get better at hiring? You need Indeed. Indeed is a hiring platform where you can attract, interview, and hire all in one place.

So instead of spending hours on multiple job sites searching for candidates with the right skills, Indeed is a powerful hiring partner that can help you do it all. You can find great talent through time-saving tools like Indeed Instant Match, assessments, and virtual interviews. And with Instant Match, over 80% of employers get quality candidates whose resumes on Indeed matches their job description the moment that they sponsor a job according to Indeed Data US. And one of the things that I love about Indeed is it makes hiring process so easy because everything is done all in one place. So start

hiring now with a $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post at indeed.com slash dial. Offers good for a limited time. Claim your $75 credit now at indeed.com slash dial indeed.com slash dial. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed. You know, when you go to the gym, instead of celebrating yourself, because this is a problem that most people have, most people feel that to themselves, well, I'll only be happy. I'll only celebrate myself when I lose those 40 pounds. But until then, I'm going to be an asshole to myself. And I'm going to talk crap to myself.

I'm going to talk about how fat I look in the mirror. And so instead of doing that, because then you're waiting for a very long time to release dopamine, which means you're not going to love the process. So instead of doing that, how can you celebrate, even if it's just in your mind, every single set that you do at the gym? When you decide to make the right choice and you go and instead of choosing something that's unhealthy, you decide to choose something that's healthy, that you just celebrate yourself in your head. Hey man, great job. That was a great decision. I'm so proud of you. You're on the right path. Literally something like that. It doesn't have to be just candy. It doesn't have to be just

chocolate. It doesn't have to be skills like it was for me. It is subjective. So you can literally celebrate yourself in those moments and build yourself up to be your biggest fan and release dopamine from doing that, which makes you more likely to want to show up the next time. This is a huge mistake most people make because most people, they don't think they deserve anything until they hit that goal. I was definitely one of those people. I don't deserve anything until I get to become a millionaire, right? Well, that's going to make it much harder to get to becoming a millionaire because now I'm just basically running myself through the crap the entire time, hoping that I can get myself there. And that's the way that you struggle to success.

But once again, that's what's beautiful about this whole thing. It's subjective. You make it up. You know, after I get done recording an episode, I change my shirt so it looks like it's a different day. And I do a mini celebration. I get exciting and I get excited for what I just did. The change that it could, you know, the people that are going to be hearing it, the change it can make in the world. And that accomplishment and that excitement and feeling of accomplishment releases dopamine, which makes me more excited to go and record the next episode. And notice this is an attachment to the process. It's not attached to the end result. So when you hear about Michael Jordan, you hear about Kobe Bryant winning a championship and then waking up the next day at 4 a.m. to work out again, people are like, oh my gosh, they're just so insane. There's too much. They just enjoy your life. No, it wasn't about the championship. It was about who they're becoming

in the process. The end result just happened to be the championship, but it was never about the championship in the first place. The people who are worth hundreds of millions of dollars are billionaires. It was never about the money in the first place. It was about the process of who they're becoming or the fun of building the business or what they need to become in order to go through these challenges and how they need to grow. That's what it is. And so when you see people and it seems like, man, they just won't stop. They're just so driven. That drive doesn't come from the achievement of some end result. It doesn't come from a championship. It doesn't come from a certain amount of money in their bank account. It comes from who they are becoming in the process and falling in love with who they're

becoming in the process. It's about being challenged, overcoming the challenge and celebrating themselves for that challenge, for overcoming that challenge, which then gives them dopamine, which then makes them want to go get more dopamine. So, you know, it was never about winning in the first place. It was about who they become, becoming the best they possibly could become. You know, Kobe Bryant was known to work out almost every single day at 4 a.m. since high school. And he, his dopamine reward system, he used to say all the time, what brought him joy was knowing that by the time his competition was waking up, he had already done one or two workouts in the day. And he was going to get in by the time

they woke up to the time they went to bed, his competition, he was going to do as many workouts as they would in that time. So if his competition wakes up at nine and they work out twice, he's going to work out twice after nine, but he's also going to work out twice before nine. So he's getting twice as much work as they were. And so people are always like, man, he was a workaholic. He was obsessed with it. He was obsessed with becoming the best that he possibly could. And his dopamine reward system was attached to I'm showing up when everyone else is sleeping. And I know that that's going to make me one of the best that's ever lived. Kobe Bryant's trainer used to say the hardest thing to get him to do was to stop. That's how obsessed he was with it. And it's the reason why people don't quit when they become

wildly successful. It's the reason why it was never about the money. It was never about the success. The money and the success was just a byproduct of their actions and their attachment was to the, this is important, their attachment, their joy was attached to the effort, not the end result. Think about that for a second. How many people listening, how many of your reward systems are built off of the achievement of the end result. Well, what if you don't achieve it next two months, three months, six months, year, two years? You're going to be holding off this dopamine reward system till the very end when you can use this thing

to actually drive you to be more motivated. So you can attach it to making the phone calls, not just the sales. You can attach it to finishing a workout, not what the scale looks like. You can attach a dopamine reward system to reading five pages, not finishing the book. You can attach it to eating a healthy meal, not just the way that you look in the mirror. So you've got to start to think about this. How can you start to celebrate yourself for doing what needs to be done that is on the path to accomplishing the goal that you want? That's what you've got to start thinking about. What is it that you want? First off,

that's the first thing you need to know. What do you want in your life? Where do you want to be in a year, five years, whatever it is? That's the first thing you need to figure out. The next thing you need to figure out is what actions do you need to take in order to hit that goal? What's the process look like? And then the next thing it comes down to is how can you set up a dopamine reward system to attach to the process, to attach to the effort, not the end result, so that you can celebrate yourself throughout the process, start to fall in love and addicted to the process, not the end result, so that you can celebrate yourself throughout the process, start to fall in love and addicted to the process. And then it makes showing up and getting the stuff done that you need to so much easier because you actually enjoy the process of becoming who you're

becoming, not just celebrating yourself when you get to the finish line. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, if you learned a lot and you want other people to hear this episode, please do me a favor. Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Also, go ahead and follow me on Instagram if you want some extra motivation. I usually put up at least one to two Instagram reels every single day to try to impact you any way that I possibly can. So you can go ahead and follow me on Instagram as well if you want extra motivation, inspiration, and mindset tips. That is, once again, Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.

And I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.