The Mindset Mentor - How To Finally Feel At Peace

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

On the other side of your fears, worries, and limiting beliefs is peace and in today's episode, I am going to teach you how to finally feel and be at peace.   Do you want to learn how to make $100k+ a year as a coach or consultant? If so, join my FREE 4-day workshop called The 6 Figure Coaching System on August 24-27th here: https://www.6figurecoachingsystem.com/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, please do me a massive favor. Take out your phone right now. For the next 15 seconds, just give us a rating and review on whatever platform you listen to this podcast on. So if it's Spotify, if it's Apple Podcasts, give us a rating and review. The more positive rating and reviews that we get, the more that those platforms show this podcast to people who have never listened to it before, which then means more lives are impacted and this podcast continues to grow. So if you would do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Today, I'm going to teach you how to finally be at peace with where you are. Why is that?

Listen, I've been in the position before and I find myself in this position basically daily as well, where I'm working and a little bit stressing to get more, to get further along, to succeed a little bit more, to get to the, to succeed a little bit more, to get to the next level, whatever it might be. And we live in a society of more. We live in a society where too much is never enough. You know, I was watching a video the other day, I was scrolling on Instagram, this guy popped up and he was talking about how much money he had and how much success that he had. And this lady who was talking to him was like, you know, what is it that you do? And he was just

so brash in the way that he was talking of like, I make more than anyone else. I have more cars than anyone else. And there was a part of me that was like, years ago, I used to be like, man, that's awesome. Now I see that and I'm like, yeah, man, cool. No big deal. But we're raised in a society where we always have to be going for the next thing. You know, when you see someone who's got five or six cars, guy like five or six cars outside, no judgment. If he wants five or six cars, he can. But when we see someone like that, it's like too much is never enough sometimes. And what happens is then we have to, we're raised, we have to be going for the next thing, going for the next thing. And we never slow down.

If we never slow down, you know, we can't ever be satisfied with where we are. Because if we're satisfied with where we are, how could I possibly continue to be more successful if I like where I am? Like if I like where I am, I always hear people say this, if I enjoy where I am, I'm going to lose all of my motivation. Like I won't be motivated at all if I love where I am. So I have to hate where I am. I have to hate this. I have to struggle my way to success. So people always think like, how could I possibly, you know, how could I possibly achieve more if I'm at peace? Is it possible for me to achieve more, for me to be successful if I feel at peace? I don't want to feel at peace. I'll feel at peace when I get $10 million in my bank account and

then I'll start working on my self-development and my peace, right? And this is what the Buddhists call the hungry ghosts. I feel like we live in a society where most people are hungry ghosts. If you imagine a ghost coming into your house and eating food, there's no stomach in that ghost. It's just going to fall to the floor. And so it can never fully fill its belly. It will always be hungry. And that's kind of where we live. We live in a society where too much is never enough. We're always hungry. We always want more. We've always got to keep going. And if that happens, we're always saving our happiness for the future and not enjoying the present moment. And we have to start to realize that.

Every moment in your life that you've ever had and will ever have is a present moment. And if we're just pushing away our happiness and pushing away our happiness and pushing our happiness until we get that new car, until we get the new house, until we travel to that next place, until we get the next million dollars, then we're never going to actually fully be happy because what we're doing is we're actually starting to train ourselves to be unsatisfied in the moment at all times and to think that our happiness is always in the future. So if you do this for five years, for 10 years, and then you do finally quote unquote succeed, then when you quote unquote succeed, you won't know how to be happy in the present moment. You won't know how to feel fulfilled in the present moment, even if you have everything you've ever wanted. Why? Because you

have trained yourself to always be looking into the future for the next thing. We live in a society when you always have to have the next thing. We always have to have the newest thing. You always have to have the newest car, the newest phone, the biggest house, right? When I was a kid, I remember like wanting, oh man, I want this huge house. And I used to think I would want these huge houses and I would see them and I'd drive by them and look so awesome. And then I have, you know, I've had a couple houses now and I'm like, man, a big house sounds like a hassle. Like that's a lot to clean. That's a big yard to take care of. You know, and you start to think about that when you're like,

that seems like a lot. That's like, that's going to require a lot more of me to even have that. People always want more clothes. People want more toys for themselves. They want more toys for their children. Your neighbor got a boat, you're going to need a bigger boat. And it's always about keeping up with the Joneses and always that feeling. And then what you really have to do though is you have to take a step back. Have you ever stopped and thought to yourself, why? Why is it that I always want more? Why is it that I always feel like society always wants more? I remember probably about five or six years ago at this point, when I was first in the process of building my business and figuring myself out a lot more. And when you grow a business, you have to learn,

you learn a lot about yourself. One of the biggest things you'll do for your self-development is grow a business because all of your fears and limiting beliefs, everything comes up. I remember I was sitting in my hammock at the park and I was journaling one day. And I remember journaling, why do I always feel like I can't stop? Like, why do I always feel like I have to be running for something and running and running? And I went through this big, long journaling session and realized what it came down to for me was actually, it wasn't about wanting to achieve more. It wasn't about wanting to be successful. It wasn't about the fun that all of these things would bring me. It was that it was a lack of self-worth.

I felt unworthy in the moment. And I thought that the achievement or that the acquisition of a house or money or a car would make me more worthy. And what you realize is once you start to buy those things and get those things and achieve that and gain the wealth is that your worth does not change. You do not feel better about yourself when you start making more money. One of my favorite phrases is that the only problem that money solves is money problems. So if you're trying to solve any other problem through money, besides money problems, you're going to be severely disappointed. And so a lot of people, I think, are trying to fill a void inside of themselves by trying to buy things. And that's

why somebody will buy something and then they'll have to buy something another two months later, three months later, whatever it is that might be, is you realize that the buying of that thing does not make you happy. So then you've got to just ask yourself, why can't we just learn to be happy with what we have? If you think of all of the things that you've bought in your entire life and you're able to accumulate all of them in a pile and be able to see that pile and walk up to it, everything you've ever bought in your life, how big would

that pile of things be? And you look at that and think of how many of those things you don't even have anymore. And you start thinking to yourself, none of these things, this massive pile of things that are sitting in front of me, not one of them made me feel better about myself. Not one of them filled any hole. Not one of them made me feel any more worthy than I already was. So then you actually start to realize that your worth does not come from the achievement of anything. Your worth comes from your perception of yourself. Gentlemen, all men strive for gold in their life, right? Gold medals, gold watches, gold everything. However, there's a certain type of man who goes the extra mile. He walks in with confidence of an eagle and giggles in the face of danger. That's

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when you use the code dial at manscaped.com. That's 20% off plus free shipping at manscaped.com with the code dial. It's time that you enjoyed the finer things in life and get yourself a platinum package for your platinum package. Now, don't get me wrong. I like nice things. I like cool shit. I like buying cool stuff. But those things do not make me more or less of who I am. When I die here, I'm not going to die with any pockets to bring things with me. And I struggled with this for years. There was for years, I had a Hyundai Santa Fe for the longest time. I used to call it the mom mobile because it literally looked like I was dropping kids off at soccer. And I struggled with this for a long time where I had this car and I took pride in the fact that I had enough money to buy a new car, but I didn't because I was like, you know what? I'm going to run this thing into ground. I'm

going to run this thing into ground. I'm going to run this thing into the ground. And one of my mentors, super successful guys, having a conversation with him, and he's not flashy in any sort of way. You never know. He drives like a Lexus. It's a nice Lexus, but it's not like a Ferrari, Lamborghini, or Bentley, or any of that type of stuff. And he's worth over $100 million at this point. And he's sitting in front of me, and we start talking about cars. And I started talking to him about the one that I had. And I started telling him like, yeah, I'm just going to run this thing into the ground. And he said one thing to me that I don't think I'll forget the rest of my life. And he kind of just said in passing, not even like trying to say anything to make it like really a statement to hit home with me. He goes, yeah,

you know, I've just realized that when I drive a car that I enjoy, I just show up better. And he left and I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I was like, do I show up worse? Like, do I show up a little, would I show up a little bit happier if I did have a nice thing, if I did have a nice car? And then, so eventually what happened, I was like, damn it, I'm going to buy something else. And so I bought a Ford Raptor. It's a truck and I love it. And I've realized that I do feel better when I show up. I do enjoy driving that truck way more than I enjoy driving the Hyundai Santa Fe. So do those things make me happy? Do they fill a void? No. Do I like nice things? Absolutely. So I'm not trying to say like,

don't buy those things. You know, don't just like not spend your money. Don't travel. Don't have fun, any of those things. What I'm trying to say is don't think that the acquisition of anything will ever make you feel different about yourself. And that's what most people I think are trying to do is they're trying to fill a void inside of themselves. But, you know, I've thought about this before where you think of like, you know, I could, I'd be like, man, I could, I could go about, go out and buy a Lamborghini. I think Lamborghinis are awesome. But then I'm like, but who really cares? Like, it doesn't really matter. It's just going to get me from point A to point B. And I also, I think that like, you know, 99% of people who have a Lamborghini or Ferrari, they don't have it for themselves. They have it

for other people. They have it to try to change people's perception of them when they see who they are that is driving that thing. Those things won't bring you happiness. We all think that we're searching for happiness in the first place. We're actually not searching for happiness at all. You think you want to be happy. You don't want to be happy. What you want is you actually want to be fulfilled. We want fulfillment. Happiness is a byproduct of fulfillment.

Happiness is an emotion and emotions are fleeting. They're like the clouds. They just pass by. Happiness, you can be happy in one moment. Somebody can say one thing to you and you could be completely pissed off. We don't want happiness. What we want is we want fulfillment. And happiness is a byproduct of being fulfilled. So the more fulfilled you are, the more that you're going to experience the emotion of happiness. So then you ask yourself, well, if I feel fulfilled, emotion of happiness. So then you ask yourself, well, if I feel fulfilled, if I feel at peace, will I still be motivated if I don't desire things? Yes, 100%. Actually, you will probably be more motivated when you don't desire things. Here's the reason why. Because your motivation

doesn't come from a place of wanting to acquire things. Your motivation comes from a deeper place. Your motivation comes from a place of wanting to acquire things. Your motivation comes from a deeper place. Your motivation comes from a place of wanting to inspire people. Your motivation comes from a place of wanting to change your children's life and change your wife's life and change your husband's life and change your brother and sister, your community, the world. And what happens is when you get off, people always think like, oh, if I don't want things, I'm going to lose my motivation. No, no, no. When you don't want things, your motivation like doubles. And once again, you can always buy shit. That's fine. I have no problem with you buying things. But when you stop wanting things and feeling like they're going to fill the void, what happens is your motivation doesn't come from the acquisition of things. Your motivation comes

from a deep desire to do something good for others most of the time. And a person who is motivated, like I'm not talking about motivated, let's say driven, highly driven, is not driven by wanting to go and make a million dollars, is not driven by wanting to buy a Ferrari, is not driven by wanting to buy a house or wanting to beat other people. A person who is really, really driven is driven from a place of like a very deep why. They want to change their children's life. They want to change their spouse's life. They want to change their family's life. They want to change their communities. They want to do something for other people. And so people always think they'll lose their motivation when they stop

wanting things, but nothing can be further from the truth. You will be more at peace. You will be more driven. You'll be more motivated towards working harder, towards achievement, towards changing the world when you're coming from a place of why more than anything else. And so motivation can come from, oh yeah, I'm motivated because I want to buy more things. Buying things to fill the void. Achieving things to fill the void. Competing with others and beating them to fill the void. Motivation or drive to do something great is so much more powerful. And one of the things that

it really starts with is it starts with gratitude with what you currently have, right? There is always somebody. One of the things I want to bring your attention back to is, like, how can we be at peace and have gratitude in this moment without having to achieve or do anything else? And it comes from the fact of thinking and really being grateful and gratitude at every moment that you can be. There's always somebody who's worse off than you. And there are millions of people in this world right now, if not billions, that pray for what you already have.

So you've got to think about that. Do I have a life that millions of people are just praying for, that they wish they could have in my life? The answer is, if you're listening to this podcast episode, no matter how hard it is, Probably. Yes. And so what I want you to realize is that, you know, if you've got anxiety and you're starting to stress and all these things, when you have anxiety, you're just not thinking about what you have to be grateful for. You have so much to be grateful for. What you're thinking about when you have anxiety is you're worrying about the future or you're thinking about what you don't have that you want, or you're thinking about what you had, but you don't have anymore.

And you're putting yourself into a future moment versus just being in this present moment. And the one thing that I want to bring in more than anything else is there is nothing that you can do, that you can buy, that you can achieve, that can add or subtract from what you currently are or will ever be. You'll never be more than what you currently are. You know, the achievement of something will not add to that. You are already at 100% capacity of who you are. You just need to identify that. You need to stop thinking that achieving it is going to fill a void. You need to realize that the void is already filled. You're just thinking that it's not. That's when you really start to get into deep self-development and deep spiritual development as you realize that there is no void. The only void that's being created is a void that you are creating from your own mind. And when you can start to work through that and start to be grateful for what you have

and stop working towards buying things and acquiring things, but start working from a place of deep drive to change the world, you'll be more motivated than anybody else and you will be a force to be reckoned with. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.