The Mindset Mentor - How to Grow Through Your Uncertainty

Episode Date: June 17, 2021

Life is uncertain, but that doesn't mean you should move away from uncertainty. Uncertainty is a physical manifestation of your comfort zone. In this episode, Rob and Dean will teach you the importance of uncertainty and why you should always lean into the uncertainty you feel. Follow me on IG here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

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edition of the Mindset Mentor, which also means that I am joined by my best friend and business partner, Dean DeVries. Dean, welcome to the studio. It's great to be here and an honor as always. Yes. Today we're going to be talking about something that I feel a lot of people go through and a lot of people actually struggle with. And we're going to talk about it for business, but we're also going to talk about it for business and personal life as well. And that's how to deal with uncertainty. And I'll recommend that many people listen to this and take note of it because I feel like it's going to help a lot of people. I feel like people see uncertainty as if it's something bad, as if maybe it's something to avoid. And I know a lot of people tend to shut down whenever they get to uncertainty as well.

Yeah. Well, I think also it's important to define what uncertainty is and also look at the ways that we interact with uncertainty. You know, for many people over the last 18 months or so, there's been a lot of uncertainty and how we respond is, uh, is what we're really going to dive into. But you know, uncertainty, we all have this, this need for certainty where I have to know what's going to happen, happen next. And oftentimes it relates to our survival, right? So having uncertainty is like, it almost feels like, Hey, I might die. Yeah. It's dangerous. It feels dangerous. Like there's a threat is basically what uncertainty feels like physically. Yeah. And you know, one of the analogies that you use a lot is like, you know, going into a dark cave and it's like, there's, there's a lot of uncertainty going

into a dark cave because you can't see what's there. You know, you know that there are things there, but you can't actually see them. And so when we step into uncertainty or when we get into uncertain situations, it feels a lot like going into that dark cave. And so, you know, the, the way that we respond to the uncertainty, most of the time people either will shut down, like you said earlier. Um, sometimes people will. Sometimes people will resist the uncertainty and wish that it was more certain without really doing anything about it. moments of uncertainty because if we just look at it from a human perspective, we all crave certainty. And when that certainty is taken away, that's when it feels like there's danger. Yeah. And if we just make this as simple as possible, uncertainty just means I don't know what's coming up. Is that a bad thing? No. I mean, there's uncertainty when you're five years old

and you're going to bed and you're about to wake up for Christmas tomorrow. But that's an exciting uncertainty. The problem is that we have an association as uncertainty. As we get older, we tend to associate uncertainty as bad. Like if I were to say, okay, most people listening to this, when I ask you the question, is uncertainty good or bad? Most people are going to say bad. And so if you have a brain association to uncertainty is bad, then whenever I feel the feeling of, I don't know what's about to come up, I'm going to get scared. I'm going to think there could be a threat. And our brain, all it wants to do is make us survive. That's its most important thing to do as a mechanism that we have. It's survival. And so when we feel uncertainty, we feel the bad side of uncertainty, we've associated

with that in our brain, we immediately tend to go, how can I flee? How can I be safe? How can I get away from this circumstance versus going, okay, I'm noticing uncertainty. What exactly does that mean? It just means that there is something that I don't know that could be coming up in the future. Right? What I see that is, is basically like, I'm in my comfort zone right now and I'm about to leave my comfort zone. So just the way that I say that fear is a physical manifestation in our body where we can feel the feeling of stepping out of our comfort zone, uncertainty can also be the same exact thing where it's like, okay, what am I feeling? I'm feeling uncertain. Is that necessarily bad? No, it's not. It's not necessarily bad. What does that mean? Okay. I'm

about to step out and do something I've never done before. Yeah. I'm about to start this business. I'm about to go into a business meeting. I don't know how it's going to go. It doesn't mean that it's bad. It just means that I don't know what's about to come up. Yeah. It's so interesting. I love what you just brought up because there's, we have this crave for certainty, but in some ways we also have this crave for uncertainty. Right. Right. And Tony Robbins talks a lot about this, but it's the idea of like the, the, whenever we go on an adventure, you know, like some people love skydiving or some people love going on, you know, some, uh, like I love racing cars, right. Which is a totally uncertain environment, but I crave it because it's like that adventure.

And so even though we crave the uncertainty, it's almost like we want the certainty of the uncertainty. I only like uncertainty in this flavor versus when it comes to my business or when it comes to my relationships. That's an area where those are the flavors of certainty that we really want. And uncertainty in those areas is oftentimes associated as bad. Yeah. Yeah. And so if you look at your life, if this is connecting with you and you feel like uncertainty, maybe you have associated

with being bad. Look at areas of your life and just write down and think of some of the things where you have the most uncertainty right now. And here's what people tend to do when they have uncertainty. They tend to marinate in it. They tend to think about it. They tend to wish it away. They wish that it wasn't there versus just asking themselves, how can I become more certain in this? It's not hard. It's very simple. But how many people actually do this where if you feel uncertainty, you're like, oh my God, I don't want to be uncertain. I'm not sure about this thing coming up. And you tend to marinate in it. You wish that it wasn't there. You start thinking about how you don't enjoy the uncertainty versus going, okay, I'm noticing that I'm uncertain. If I get a pen and paper, let's just write it down. I noticed that I'm uncertain in whatever

it is, my relationship. Okay. How can I bring more certainty to my relationship? How can I show up in a way with my spouse or my significant other, which will make me feel more certain? And in that case, it's, we're coming up with a plan to overcome this uncertainty, which isn't even necessarily a bad thing. A lot of times it's just, we've associated with bad and we're starting to overcome the uncertainty by bringing certainty into it. Yeah. And the reason why this is a lot easier said than done is because we're literally reframing the uncertainty. Correct. And the uncertainty, like if the old frame is like uncertainty means a danger, the new frame that we are introducing here is like, Hey, the uncertainty, like, what if you knew that the uncertainty that you experience is 100% meant to be where, you know, and I talk a

lot about this, where, you know, imagine that everything that you've ever experienced has been the perfectly crafted curriculum by the universe, by God, by whatever higher power you believe in to give you the necessary situations to overcome, maybe the challenges to overcome so that you can build into the version of you that ultimately lives the life that you ultimately want to live. Right? So if we look at uncertainty in that way, where we say, okay, this is uncertain, but I know I can at least bring some certainty to this uncertainty and knowing that

this uncertainty is meant to happen, you know, versus like coming from our own perspective. And we tend to be attached to the things that benefit us, that make us feel good. And so when the uncertainty doesn't feel good, it's easy to say, I wish that this situation wasn't here, or I wish I was you know in a better situation if we're looking at as like good or bad and to reframe it and say hey this is an uncertain situation but I'm gonna trust that I need this uncertainty in order for me to grow and become the version of myself that is ready for the next level of uncertainty for sure so think about that everybody

what if for all of the uncertainty that you have, you were to bring an even higher level of trust in everything that you do going, okay, this is in front of me. I mean, think of everything great that's ever happened in your life. I would guarantee that majority of them came from circumstances that were uncertain at one point and you brought some certainty or it became very certain in some situation. So if you want to make a big impact, if you want your life to be big and you want to impact at a big level, there's going to be uncertainty. And you must be willing to meet the uncertainty with trust that it's supposed to be there. It is the way that it's supposed to be. And then cultivate

the certainty within you to go, you know what? This is where I'm going to... I can feel the uncertainty. I can feel that it's inside of my body. Does it is where I'm going to, I can feel the uncertainty. I can feel that it's inside of my body. Does it show that I'm in danger? I'm not in danger. Am I safe right now? I am safe. Okay. Well, now that I've overcome the brain being afraid, now I go, how can I bring this certainty into it to make sure that I up-level myself as if this is just a video game. And this, in order for me to get to the next level or to get through the next checkpoint, all I need to do is meet this uncertainty with certainty and to push through it versus backing away.

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trueniagen.com slash dial and just so you know these statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration this product is not intended to diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease yeah there's a few examples that come to mind as we're talking about this like one example that is you know very real for me and you is you know right when we you know really growing, and it's funny that we look back at the history, but right as COVID started just infiltrating into our society, in that moment, there were so many people that were uncertain with regard to their businesses. For us, we actually had this, we reframed that uncertainty and said, Hey, this is

the reason why we're going to grow. This is the reason why it's necessary for us to show up more powerfully to, you know, to, to become even better, right? This is all a test to just, you know, give it, it gives us a kind of like a little dojo to practice in so that we can, you know, really get better at our skill sets, really get better at offering a, you know, really valuable service to our, to our clients and customers. And, you know, that was the conversation that we were having. And we hit this huge growth point, you know, right about that time because of the, just the, the way that we reframed the uncertainty. Another example of this that comes up is like, when you think about people that get really ill, or maybe that like have some sort

of debilitating, you know, injury or, you know, disease. And there's many examples of this happening where the, their mind frame will actually determine kind of the trajectory of what, what happens. And the, you know, the people that create the most certainty, like I will get through this, I will beat this. Oftentimes those are the people like, uh, you don't hear the stories of people that saying, Oh, this is going to ruin my life. And then they end up having this miraculous recovery. I don't know if I've ever heard that before. I've never heard that either. And so like, but you, you hear of many stories of people that are like, Hey, this is the, this is the fork in the road where I could believe that I'm going down this path. And this is what, you know, this is the statistic, but I'm going to beat this. I'm going to, I'm going to rise above this. I'm going

to literally manifest my health back into, into my reality. And it's just about taking that uncertainty and realizing that, Hey, you know what? I trust that this is for whatever reason, just part of my experience and part of something that I have to go through in order to be the person that I'm meant to be. So I'm going to become that person and believe that there's a bigger possibility available. Yeah. So what you're talking about is literally the placebo effect, which I've had episodes on it. I think it's one of the most mind-blowing things that exists. And I don't know why people aren't more mind-blown by it.

You know, one third of all medical healings come because somebody thinks that they're healed. Like, how is that not mind-blowing? That they've literally healed themselves based off of bringing the certainty that they are healed and they didn't get anything except for a sugar pill, right? And there's nothing in the pill except for sugar, but their mind is actually what healed them. So one third of all medical healings have come from placebo effect of people going, oh my gosh, I'm getting this magical pill and it's going to work. That is the example of bringing certainties to a situation of going,

oh, I'm taking this pill. And they might say, hey, listen, you know, there's so many people have taken this pill and it's cured exactly what you have. And they go, oh my God, that's amazing. And so they take this pill that's literally done nothing to anybody except for they have sugar inside of it. And they take it and they believe with absolute certainty that it's possible.

And they end up healing themselves with their mind. So if somebody can heal something physically inside of their body with certainty, what do you think that you can do to your reality by switching all of the things that you're uncertain to by going, I am certain I am going to get this job. I'm going to heal myself. I'm going to overcome this medical issue that I have, whatever it is. And it's about bringing the absolute belief to a situation that might not necessarily be certain. And I get it. It's not easy. It's easier to say than to actually go and do. But if you sit there and go, okay, how many times have I been uncertain about something?

And then it didn't work out well. It's usually a lot of times. But how many times have I been like, you know what? I'm going to do this. I'm going to figure it out. There's many people that are like, they get three weeks left to live. That's what the doctors say. And they're like, oh, the doctor, they must know what they're talking about. And then they die literally 21 days later, right? Like that happens often. But there's also some people out there, like you're saying, where they're literally like, you know what? I'm going to heal myself and I'm going to figure out how to heal myself. I'm not going to listen to a doctor. I don't give a damn about what they say.

I'm going to figure it out. And instead of having three weeks left to live, which the doctors tell them, they live for like four extra years. Why? Because they're bringing certainty to something that they're doing, even though nobody else around them might be certain at all. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's a really powerful example. And it's really how like, if it happens in that type of situation, it can happen in all situations. So I think like the big reframe and the big takeaway on this is like, what are the moments? I wanna go back to that prompt that you shared.

Definitely don't wanna just mull over it because if you're listening to this right now, I want you to actually take the time. And if you need to pause this episode, like literally write down the situations that are in your business, in your life, in your relationships, in your finances, in your health, write all of those uncertain situations down so that you can actually see like, where, where's the uncertainty in my life? Because the next thing that, that I'll invite you to do is where can I cultivate more certainty within me, right? What we're talking about are examples of uncertainty

in our external environment, uncertainty in the world and around me and in my situations around me and meeting those situations and experiences with internal certainty where I know I can do this. I believe in myself. I'm confident that I'm going to get through this because I trust that it's supposed to happen. Yeah. And it's, it's, it also changes your physiology as well. And I did an episode about a week ago on this one of how, if you know if you're trying to create calm and create a different feeling in your brain and your body, change your physiology, like literally change your physiology. And so one thing that we were taught when we were younger, we used to run offices and shit would hit the fan every single day, 14 times a day, right? And if I am a leader in front of other

people and you start seeing your leader freak out? Is that something that you're going to be like, oh my God, if my leader's freaking out, I need to start freaking out. It's a scary thing. And so when things would start to go bad, what they would say is, hey, be a duck on water. So if you ever look at a duck that's out there and they're on water, you see them, they look so calm and peaceful and they're just kind of floating across the water. But then you look at their little feet and the little feet are just going like crazy. And it's like every, even though shit might be hitting the fan,

I'm going to make sure that I bring as much calm as possible. And that calm, so even like we said, you know, this past week, we were running an event and there was things that were happening. We're going to start walking slower by bringing more certainty to our body,

which is going to tell our brain, hey, calm down. It's not really that big of a deal. Yeah. And I love the duck on water analogy. And I remember, you know, 18, 19 years old, running an office. And I was told that. And at first, it actually was like literally a mask where I was like, okay, I'm going to force myself to remain calm. But inside, I'm just like, force myself to remain calm. Yeah. And, but inside, like, I'm just like, I'm freaking out, fuming. Right. Yep. And, um, I do love that analogy because like on the outside, it's, you know, above the water, the duck is just so graceful and just guy gliding along. And then underneath it's like this frenzy. Yep. And there's my relationship with the duck on water and being

the duck on water. There's been an evolution that's happened. At first, it was a mask where I was like, all right, let me just hold it all in. But then after doing that and realizing that, hey, actually, things are better outside of me when I am a duck on water. So then I started kind of tapping into my belief systems and the lens of which I look at things through where the duck on water wasn't an act anymore. It was truly a belief because, and that's what we're talking about is how can we believe that all of the chaos and all of the challenges and all of the uncertainty outside of us is actually the experience we're meant to happen. It's for you. It's happening for you, not to you.

Exactly. And, you know, when we receive those experiences and really just surrender to the fact that, hey, they're supposed to be there. So what am I supposed to do? Yeah. All right. Well, let me obviously like this surrendering to it doesn't mean like just throwing up your arms and say, hey, all right, well, I'm just I'm just going to put my head in the sand and wait for it to blow over. Yeah. What we're really talking about is actually not using the energy to resist the situation. That's our most valuable resources, our energy. And so when we can not use our energy to resist, but instead use that free energy to

actually influence how we show up to it, right? Because it's not about what happens, you know, it's not, it's not the situations or the challenges or the uncertainty that defines you. It's how you respond to all of that. And so when we respond in a way that is with more certainty, you know, which is, you know, we just talked about a few examples. I'm going to get through this. I know this is meant for me for whatever reason there there's something I'm supposed to learn from this. How might you show up differently with that lens and with that perspective? And that's what the duck on water analogy has really taught me is it started off as the mask, but it really started shaping my

belief systems on, you know, and surrendering to the uncertainty that exists. Yeah. And it's, as you said, it's a way to create more certainty and people might be out there and be like, well, no shit. You know, when you do have uncertainty, you need to bring certainty to it. But it's more of like, okay, if I, once again, take the video game example, you know, if I look at this and I go, okay, life's just a video game and I'm trying to up-level myself. If we're running, let's take it, nothing really happened drastic at our event. Everything went amazing. But if something were to happen, then I would go, okay, this is showing me how next time we run an event that I can make sure that this, this, that I bring more certainty to it. I can, oh, this is something that I didn't see and I didn't plan to it. I can, oh, this is something that I didn't see

and I didn't plan for. Our only issue is that the audio is going kind of crazy. That was our issue, right? It was nothing else besides that. But if something really would have gone crazy, then it would have been like, okay, now I'm noticing a place where I can improve and I can get better.

And next time we run an event, I can make sure that we overcome what this thing is. It is the universe showing me a way that I can improve. That we overcome what this thing is. It is the universe showing me a way that I can improve. That's all that is. And it's also the universe showing me the edge of my comfort zone. So instead of backing away from this thing, I'm going to lean into it, knowing that if I'm pushing the edge of my comfort zone, what I'm doing is I'm actually forcing growth. And that ultimately is what we're all trying to do. So that is what we got for you for today's episode.

If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. And also please go to iTunes or Apple podcasts and give us a rating in review. It helps more than you could possibly realize. And if you're out there and you want to learn how to start working with Dean and I in your business and help you grow and scale your business as we have with many other businesses, email Dean, D-E-A-N at robdial.com, dean at robdial.com. And I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode, make it your mission to make someone else's day better.

I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.