The Mindset Mentor - How to Handle Death

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode of this podcast that comes out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Today we're going to be talking about death. Yes, we're going to go there. We're going to talk about death. And the reason why is because, you know, if you listen to last podcast about Kobe Bryant, you know, it's been a couple of days since Kobe Bryant died. And the interesting thing about it is that I have seen a lot of posts and it's like a lot and a lot of people are dealing with it. And, um, and it's, uh, it's a, it's a beautiful thing to see how many people appreciated him.

Starting point is 00:00:51 And it's actually beautiful to see how many people didn't even really know much about him, but are now being inspired by his life, uh, as this continues to unfold. And so, you know, uh, my girlfriend and I were talking about it. She's just like, man, you know, it's just been so heavy lately. Like I've just felt so heavy all day long. I was like, yeah, me too. The past couple of days I've just felt so heavy, but, um, it's had this like lingering effect cause it's all over the internet. You see so many people that are going through it and there's so many things that are happening and, um, it's been heavy and there's been lots of beautiful stories

Starting point is 00:01:25 of, you know, you start to see these things where Kobe Bryant didn't, there's a lady who worked at a hospital and Kobe Bryant would come into the hospital and he would only come in through the back door and he wouldn't have any PR and he would, you know, want to help the children and play basketball with them. And he would go into the children's hospital and help them and didn't want any PR, didn't want any write-up, didn't want any stories. He just wanted to do it. And it's cool to see all the different stories of somebody. And there's been lots of people, and it might be just me because I follow so many athletes and I follow so many different ESPN and House of Highlights and all of these different channels on Instagram, but it's all over. And it's really cool to see. And lots of people are coming together. Something like this

Starting point is 00:02:03 is bringing people together. So you see some athletes that actually have some beef between the two of them coming together and apologizing to each other and say, Hey man, like, I love you. This isn't, this isn't worth it. You know, you see people like Shaq seven foot one, 330 pounds or whatever he is crying on TV and just talking about like how he's rethinking his life and that he needs to call people more. You know, like today, my girlfriend called her mom and then I called my mom and FaceTimed her for about 20 minutes. And it's like little things like this, as bad as they are, also have a big shift in a good way as well. And so I want to talk about death because I, if I'm being honest with you, I think about

Starting point is 00:02:43 death probably multiple times a day. And it's not something that I try to push away. It's something that I try to fully feel. And I don't think that I can truly appreciate this life unless I truly understand and appreciate and think about death. You know, I don't think that I can truly appreciate my life if I'm acting like I don't, I won't die one day. If I'm acting like, and I, and I think that that's, it's going to sound weird, but we were taking off in a plane the other day. It was, you know, about a week ago. And I thought, you know what? If, if this plane goes down, I feel like I've done, I've done some good in the world. You know, I feel like I've put, I've put almost everything that I could out into the world at this point.

Starting point is 00:03:29 You know, will I put out more? Yeah, for sure. But I'm okay with it. And I think that a lot of the reasons why people are so afraid of death is because they are actually afraid of life. I've never even thought of that before until I just said it, but in my mind, I'm like, damn, that's actually true. People are so afraid of death because they're actually afraid of the fact that they didn't truly live. They're afraid of, you know, the fact that they didn't truly live their life. The fact that they didn't put everything that they had into it. The fact that they didn't go all out like they should have. That's what they're actually afraid of. They're not afraid of death. What they're afraid of is they're afraid of a life unlived and they're trying to not pay attention to that. unlived and they're trying to not pay attention to that. The same way they're trying to not pay attention to death is the same way

Starting point is 00:04:08 they're trying to not pay attention to the fact they're not living their life to the fullest like they want to. I think death is a beautiful thing, if I'm being honest with you. I have a unique perspective, I guess, of death because, you know, the very first person I knew who died was my father when I was 15 years old. So, you know, automatically right away, 50% of, you know, my foundation of what my life had been built on was swept away from me. And I feel like I have a unique perspective of it because I was at the age where I fully was able to understand it and process it. And then also learn from it and realize that I want to, um, that I want to live my life fully. I think death is what has given me more reason to

Starting point is 00:04:48 work harder every single day to do good for the world, not just for myself. You know, and I think that everything that happens to you is a lesson and everything that happens around you is also a lesson. I think that when something happens like this, whether, you know, you were a Kobe Bryant fan or not, it doesn't, doesn't matter. This has, this has a lot to with Kobe Bryant, but as nothing to with Kobe Bryant at the same time, you know, when somebody dies, it's, it's a lesson. What can I learn from this? And I remember when my, uh, when my grandfather passed away a few years ago, you know, he passed away and I journaled the night that he passed away before he passed away. Cause I was inside of the hospice room with him and I journaled that night

Starting point is 00:05:22 and, uh, and I had my journal with me and I was journaling and I was journaling while he was sleeping. Cause he wanted me to stay in the room with him. Um, and then I journaled probably four hours after he passed away a few hours later. And, um, cause he passed away, you know, early in the morning we woke up and it was like three, three or four o'clock in the morning when he passed away. And, um, and I, I was asking myself, what can I learn from this? What can I take from this? The thing that I think that that's the, um, that's saddest thing that can happen is that somebody that you love dies and you don't learn from it. That's actually the worst thing that could happen. The best thing that can happen is that you learn something from it. And what I learned from my

Starting point is 00:05:58 grandfather's death is that I sat there and I, and my grandfather's probably one of the people that I respect most ever in this world. And I said to myself, what is it that I love there and my grandfather is probably one of the people that I respect most ever in this world. And I said to myself, what is it that I love most about him? And I made a list of the things that I love most about him. And when I meditate each morning, I think, how can I put these things into myself? How can I be more of this? How can I be more selfless? How can I be more kind? How can I be more loving? How can I be more accepting of every person that I meet? to be more selfless? How can I be more kind? How can I be more loving? How can I be more accepting of every person that I meet? How can I be less judgmental? How can I be more of him every single day? The way that you honor somebody who dies is by putting more of them into you every single day.

Starting point is 00:06:35 The way that what makes death tragic is if somebody dies and you don't learn something from it. You don't take a piece of them and put it into yourself. Same thing happened 17 days later that my grandmother passed away. And I thought to myself, what did I love about her? And how could I take her and the things I love about her and put her into me? That's how somebody lives on, is living on through you. Death is a beautiful thing. Death puts life into perspective. It makes you rethink things. It wakes you up. It makes you rethink life. It makes you rethink everything, every way that you're living your life. It makes you think maybe I should stop doing this. Maybe I should call and apologize. Maybe I should say that I love you to this person. Maybe I should not be so judgmental. Maybe I should open the door for that person.

Starting point is 00:07:18 Maybe I shouldn't be doing this job that I hate. Right? Cause then you're like, damn, this is, it wakes, it kind of like shakes you and wakes you up Cause then you're like, damn, this is, it wakes, it kind of like shakes you and wakes you up. And you're like, Oh my God, somebody just died. I will die one day. Right. I hate, I hate when people say the best thing to do is to start working again so that you can go back to normal life. Because I think that sometimes you just need to feel it. You just need to feel that like sadness in sadness, whether it's from death or from a breakup or whatever it is. Sadness is so beautiful. Sadness is such a beautiful emotion. It's such a deep and beautiful emotion. Now I prefer to be happy. Don't get me wrong. But when I'm sad, I want to feel that

Starting point is 00:08:06 sadness. Like I don't try to not feel sad. I don't try to distract myself. I don't try to push it away. I want to feel that shit. And the reason why I want to feel it is because the more deeply that I feel that sadness, the more that I can deeply feel the actual happiness that I have. For every wave that there is, if there's a wave, the peak, you know, will only be as high as the trough is deep, right? So there's no way that you can have a giant wave of happiness without also, you know, and if let's go, let's just take happiness out. There's no way that a giant wave can exist if there's not also a big, deep Canyon that's in between each wave. That's the same thing with emotions. There's no way to fully 100% appreciate all of the beautiful,

Starting point is 00:08:54 beautiful, beautiful things in life. Even in talk about like the little teeny tiny things and appreciate the little teeny tiny things that are so beautiful unless you've gone through something. You can't fully experience one emotion if you haven't experienced the other emotion. You can't fully be happy unless you have also fully been sad. So when I am sad, when something is happening like this, you know, anything, and this happens multiple times a year. There's things that always things and tragedies and catastrophes that happen each year. I prefer to let myself get quiet and feel it, not distract myself from it. Right? One of the worst things that you can do is not allow yourself to grieve. I want to feel that sadness. It's a beautiful part. That's the beautiful thing about being a human is that we get these incredible emotions and we get these incredible feelings. You can't have the good

Starting point is 00:09:50 without the bad. You can't appreciate the good without having been through the bad. That's why there's so many people and it's not for everybody, but you know, there's a lot of people out there that have had terrible childhoods and they're extremely happy with where they are or the way that their life is. And it's not necessary that you have a terrible childhood, and they're extremely happy with where they are or the way that their life is. And it's not necessary that you have a terrible childhood, but the reason why is because they can fully appreciate where they are and be okay with where they are. Death is an interesting thing, man. It makes you really want to live. It makes you rethink everything. And so what I want you to think from this, you know, you can take Kobe Bryant's death from this. You can take the death of your grandfather, the death of one of your parents, whatever it is.

Starting point is 00:10:29 Ask yourself, what am I supposed to learn from this? Because everything that happens to you, you're supposed to learn from. And I was talking to my girlfriend about it today. And she's like, man, she was, she was just like the, the amount of people that are hurting just makes me hurt. And I was like, yeah, it's, it's terrible. But also at the same time, I guarantee you that the amount of hurt that people are feeling is also going to be shifting a lot of lives for the better. And so it's like I said in the last episode, and I don't want to say that, that Kobe Bryant was sacrificed for the greater good of humankind. But what I do know is that more good

Starting point is 00:11:06 will come from it, but it only comes from it is if we, if we can take it as a teaching that we can take into our lives, we can take it as a lesson that we take it to our lives as well. If you have had someone that's close to you, or you've had a breakup, or you've had something happen, that's just deep and emotional and sadness, every single thing, good, bad, indifferent that happens in your life is brought to you for you to learn from, for you to grow from. To try to act like it never happened or to look away or to pretend like death won't happen is not taking the lesson that's in front of you. or to pretend like death won't happen is not taking the lesson that's in front of you.

Starting point is 00:11:51 It's like, for instance, it's like playing a basketball game and you have the opportunity to watch the film of the basketball game after and you don't want to do it. Why would you want to watch the film of the basketball game? So that you can get better of the next one. You can't improve if you don't know how you made mistakes. Same thing is this is the lesson you can take in and go, well, now that I'm looking in the rear view mirror of how my life was, now that this death has come in, it shifted me. It shook me up. Maybe I can look at my life and say, well, how was I living differently? Sometimes when you look at someone like Kobe Bryant, that's just like, you know, arguably one of the greatest basketball players ever 41 years old. When he passed away, he put every ounce of energy that he had into the game. He's done incredible things for humankind. And you, you realize that

Starting point is 00:12:36 he had at least another 40 years of greatness that he could have brought to this world. Hell, if, if human technology keeps advancing the it is, maybe another 80 years of human life. If you were to live to 120, you never know what it's going to be like in 50, 60, 70 years, right? What greatness could he have done? And it makes you think, man, for a human to be that great through hard work might make me want to go, you know what? I think I should work harder as well. I think I should put more into my day. I think I'm listening to everybody talk about the Mamba mentality and the hard work and the work ethic and, you know, waking up at 4am every single day. Maybe I can wake up earlier. Like for me, Monday morning, we had friends over and I just did not want to wake

Starting point is 00:13:20 up early because the fact that we had friends over, they're staying in town from Florida. I didn't go to bed till like 11 o'clock and we had an early morning workout. I was like, oh man, I could just cancel this workout right now. And I thought to myself, what would Kobe do? I was like, you know what he would do? He'd go to the freaking gym. He'd probably, he'd definitely be at the gym earlier than I would be. And so when I thought about it, I was like, I'm going to the freaking gym. Maybe I'll get a little bit less sleep, but I'm still going to go to the gym. So I still did. And it was because that was a little click in my brain because I went, what would Kobe do? You know? So maybe if you start asking yourself questions like that, what would Kobe do? What would my grandpa do in this situation?

Starting point is 00:13:55 What would your grandpa do? What would your grandma do? What would your mom do? What would your dad do in this situation? Everything that happens to you, life, death, good, bad, beautiful, thing that happens to you, life, death, good, bad, beautiful, sad. Every single thing that happens to you is a lesson for you to learn and grow, but don't try to look away from it. Don't act like it didn't happen and don't act like it's not going to happen to you too, because death makes your life important. Death makes you remember to live. How to handle it? Just realize that it's beautiful. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you liked this episode, please share with someone that you know and love. Once again, I so appreciate you guys. I see, you know, over a hundred people sharing these. I'm pulling up on my Instagram so I can see. I see over a

Starting point is 00:14:41 hundred people, literally a hundred people every single day, at least sharing screenshots of the podcast of them, listening to the podcast, talking about it in their car, giving their, you know, their information of what they like about it and inspiring other people to listen to it as well. I see so many people that are putting in other Instagram stories and they're tagging me. You can tag me if you want to Rob dial J R R O B D I A L J R. Um, I appreciate it because the podcast is growing because you guys are sharing it. We're growing organically because you guys are sharing it. I don't have, you know, PBS or any large production company.

Starting point is 00:15:16 I'm sitting inside of my fricking house with a microphone inside of my, you know, my office. We grow because people like you help us grow. And I think that's a beautiful thing. So I appreciate you guys. And I love you guys for that as well. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing, amazing, amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - How to Handle Death

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