The Mindset Mentor - How to Instantly Remove Stress

Episode Date: December 29, 2019

Do you get stressed out, anxious or pissed off? If so, in this episode I will give you a simple tip to instantly relieve your stress.If you want to make 2020 the best year of your life, join my IronMind60 Challenge here: http://ironmind60.com/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. So today I want to talk about something that is, was kind of, it's been in my mind and my awareness for the past few days, probably the past week. And also the same time, it's always been in my awareness, you my awareness since I had my first coach back in 2006. But I had something happen yesterday and today that made me want to talk to you guys about this. So let me take a step back before I tell you what it is and tell you about the phrase that really helps me out a lot. And you've probably heard me talk about it before and you've probably heard my mentor talk about it as well. When I first hired my mentor in 2006, his name's Hal Elrod. Hal Elrod, this is before he

wrote the massive book that's called The Miracle Morning and sold over 2 million copies, self published and all that stuff. He used to say this phrase all the time and we used to actually have bracelets. And the phrase was, can't change it. And I remember that this phrase helped me so much because there's so much in life that you can't change. And I remember that he was talking about how he got a brand new car that he had been waiting for for so long. And he was so excited to get this brand new car. He was driving at home. He was all excited. He was going to go pick up his girlfriend. They were going to go out to dinner and his brand new car. And on the way to go pick up his girlfriend, he crashed his brand new car. And she the way to go pick up his girlfriend, he crashed his brand new car.

And she drove to go meet him and pick him up because his car was totaled. And she was like, he was laughing about the situation. She's like, honey, are you okay? Like you just, you just crashed your dream car. What happened? And he's like, you know what? It's just funny the way that the world works. Like I was so excited about this thing and now it's completely totaled. And she's like, why are you not pissed off? Like you should be more pissed off about this. He's like, well, the car's crashed. Like I can't do anything about it. I can't change it. So why would I be pissed off about it? And she's like, that's incredible. Have you ever thought about like actually diving into that phrase? And he came up with this phrase, can't change it and made wristbands out of it. And I remember like for me, if I'm being honest, like I don't react to a whole lot of things anymore, but I used to react to a lot. I used to get really pissed off. I used to

get really agitated. I used to get really aggravated with people. I had a really short fuse. I would hate being in traffic. I would hate all this stuff. And then I remember that I was sitting in traffic and I was so pissed off. I was like squeezing the steering wheel and I was looking at my hands and I have, you know, really white hands anyways, but I could see my white knuckles through my hands. And I was like, oh my God, like I'm, I'm physically pissed off. Like I'm mentally pissed off. I'm physically pissed off. And I can see the stress in my own hands. Like the, the literally the skin is tight on my knuckles. I'm squeezing the steering wheel so tight. And I thought to myself, what the hell am I doing to myself?

Like, I'm in traffic. I can't speed the traffic. If I get pissed off or stressed out, that doesn't speed the traffic up, does it? No, of course not. So why am I doing this to myself? Because I'm going to arrive either way at the exact same time. Either I can arrive in a beautiful state or I can arrive stressed out and pissed off and tired and just aggravated with the world. And that's the way I used to arrive. And I said, you know what? I'm going to, I'm going to try to

look around everything that's happening in my life right now and in this car and try to find what's beautiful about this. All right. I'm stuck in some crappy traffic. I'm going to be late. And one thing that drives me crazy is being late. Like I hate being late. My mom raised me that way. Right. And so I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to be late anyways. So what can I appreciate? I look around like, well, it's a beautiful day outside. It's sunny. You know, there's amazing music that's in the car. I have air conditioning. I've had car without air, cars without air conditioning before. So I have air conditioning. That's amazing. And so the reason why I'm diving into this is because something happened the past two days. So we're in Florida and we're about to leave and go down to Miami. And yesterday I was going to rent a car and I got online and it was $400 for the

week. And I was like, all right, that's more than I thought it was going to be, but whatever. I'll get this car. But I was like, let's go ahead and get lunch first. You know, there were people that were in town where they were leaving out of town. I was like, let's go get lunch. We go and get lunch, come back. And the car sold out. And not only were they sold out, they were, the closest place was now an hour away.

So not only were, the place that I was going to get my car from Alamo was 15 minutes from where I was. It was $400. The new place was an hour away and it was like $600. And I felt that urge of like, Oh, like the just aggravation, the pissed offness, because I get frustrated. You guys know you've done it before where you're like, ah, I could have done it. And I didn't. And now I'm pissed off at myself that I didn't do the thing that I could have done two hours ago. It would have saved me time. It would have saved me energy, all of that stuff. So I had to pay an extra 200 bucks and I also had to drive an extra hour in my intake even longer today. And I was like, I felt those feelings of getting pissed off.

And I thought, you know what? I can't change it. If I want to get to Miami, I have to rent a car either way. So I'm going to have to just do it. I'm going to have to not be pissed off at myself. Yeah, it was my mistake, but you know, maybe that's God or the universe or whatever it is telling me that I don't need to leave out of there and trying to reroute me because maybe I would have gotten in a crash if I would have gone the other way. Who knows? I don't know. But I have to just trust that what just happened, happened for a reason. And then, so that was the first thing where I was like, I can't change it. No big deal. Then I get to the place today, before we got a rental car. And there was this line and it was a line, I'm telling you.

And it was just people. We're in the Tampa airport. We had to go drive up there to get this car. And the guy in front of me was so pissed. And it was probably an hour that we had to wait. And the entire time he's complaining to the people in front of him. Oh, I should go to another place, this and this. And why can't they run their place of fish? And he's like fuming. And in my head, I'm like, wow, this guy is, we're both going through the same thing. We're both sitting in this line. There's nothing that we could do with this line to make it go faster. We can't change it. I was like, so you know what? In fact, what I'm going to do is I'm going to try to, and this is just me trying to learn from this process. I tried to take a lesson

out of everything that I do. So I'm like, all right, you know, I don't want to wait in this damn line. I'm being honest with you, but how can I make the most out of this? And so I pull out my phone, pull out my Kindle on my phone, and I decide to read Ram Dass Be Here Now, which is a book about being present, you know, about being present and being in the moment. And this whole time, and this is not me judging the guy in any sort of way, because I've definitely been in his shoes a hundred percent. And he's just fuming and fuming. And then there's a lady that's behind, you know, five people behind us. And she keeps walking up to the front. She's like, how much longer is this going to be? How much longer is it? I mean, it's just, you know, the holiday surge of people and

things and all of this stuff. And everyone's just so pissed off. And I'm like, we can't change it. It was just such a lesson for me of like, this is something I need to talk about on the podcast because I know you guys out there that are listening. Some of you have felt this way, haven't you? Be honest with yourself. Have you ever felt this way? We are just pissed off. Why is this line so damn long? Why is this taking, I don't want it to be this way. And one of my favorite phrases that deals with this is that your level of stress and anxiety will be an equivalent to the amount that you are resisting the way that the world is. Right? Your level of stress and anxiety will be equivalent to the amount that you are resisting the way

that the world is. What I mean by that is the more that you resist, the more that I would have resisted the fact that that line was so freaking long, the more that I would have resisted it, the more anxious I would have gotten, the more stressed out that I would have gotten, all of that stuff. But being anxious and stressed out won't hurry up the line. So how can I see everything that happens to me? How can I see this me screwing up and me having to drive an hour out of the way and pay extra money as a lesson? How can I see this waiting in line and everybody around me being so pissed off as a lesson? And I'm not anywhere freaking near perfect.

But what I try to do is I try to look at it and go, okay, do I want to be here? I don't. I didn't even want to drive up here from being honest because I would have rather driven to the place that cost me less money and it was 15 minutes away versus driving an hour away. I was like, but what can I learn from this? Okay. I'm going to try to take this and the stress and anxiety that could pop up. I'm going to bury it. And I'm going to ask myself, what's beautiful about this moment. I'm going to read a book in this moment and I'm going to go, you know what? What can I learn from this? How can I make this a positive? I now have an hour to read a book about being present. That's what I'm going to do. And so what I want you to think about is how often

are you in situations that you can't change, but you get sad or depressed or anxious or stressed because of the fact that it's not the way that you want it to be. That's what was really happening is everyone that was so mad in line, they were just resisting the way that the world was. They were resisting the line, but that didn't hurry the line up. And so I want you to think of this phrase, can't change it. Next time that you feel that anxiety coming up, next time that you feel yourself being so pissed off, next time that you feel like you want the world to be different than the world is, and next time you're stuck in traffic and you're squeezing that freaking steering wheel like I was, look at your knuckles and go, wow, I'm putting my body, I'm putting my

mind through so much stress and anxiety that it's completely unnecessary. How can I say to myself, okay, take a deep breath. You can't change it, Rob. What is beautiful about this moment? And see if you can use that to change your mindset. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.