The Mindset Mentor - How to Let Go & Move On
Episode Date: July 6, 2020One thing that holds people back the most in their lives is their inability to let go of the past. It's almost like everyone has at least one thing that they continue to hold on to. In this episode, I... am going to teach you how to let go of your past, so that you can finally move on to create the future you want.Follow me on Instagram for more inspiration @RobDialJr https://instagram.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube
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Today, what we're going to be talking about is how to move on, let go of the past, and
leave the past in the past so that it doesn't keep coming up and rearing its ugly head and
holding you back from the future that you truly want and you truly, more than all honesty, deserve.
So the thing that I want to say about this is something that's very obvious to every single
person. You can do nothing about the past. You know that. I know that. There's absolutely nothing
that you can do about the past. So why, why, why, why do you and I and every other person
still allow the past to come up and rear its ugly head every once in a while?
Because no matter how hard you try, you could try as hard as you possibly want every single minute of the rest of your life, you will not be able to change your past.
So why is it so hard to let go?
The main reason why it's so hard to let go is because we think that it should have gone a different way than it
did. Whatever it was, whether it was that relationship that happened to you in the past,
whether it was a massive mistake that you think that you might have made with something that
happened in your past, whether it was you wish that an event would have not gone this way because
it went that way, and you wish that something would be different. You wish that event would have not gone this way because it went that way. And you wish that something
would be different. You wish that it would have gone differently than it did. But guess what?
It went the way that it went. So why do we continue to hold on to the past and hold on to what
happened, wishing that it would have been different? Why do we allow ourselves to cheat on our future with our past?
Because nothing, no matter how hard you try, will ever be able to allow you to go back in time.
At this point in time with our current technology that I know of, you can't go back in time and
change anything. So why would you cheat on your future with your past? And here's the thing.
There's a lot of things that happen to us in our lives. There's a
lot of bad moments that some of us have had. People that have died, relationships that we've lost,
money that we've lost. We've treated people incorrectly and we wish that things would have
gone differently, but we can't change them as I just said. So what do we do? We need to learn how to be okay with allowing the
past to have happened and to go forward in the future. We can learn from what happened in the
past so that we can go ahead and we can figure out a way to make it better. It's like the way I like
to think of it is this, is the reason why you have to have mistakes in your past is so that you can
learn from your mistakes, we've all heard that, and not make them in the future. How does a baby learn to walk? A baby learns to walk by falling
and falling and falling and falling and falling to learn how to stop falling. You can't learn to
walk unless you've fallen a bunch of times. You can't become the person that you want to be
unless you've gone through and been the person that you don't want
to be. Make sense? So as hard as the things are, the tough things that have happened to us in our
past, the deaths, the breakups, all of those things, when you're going through them, let's be
honest, they all suck. Nobody wants to go through those things. But as you're going through them,
it's really hard. But now that you might be a year or two or three or five years removed from them, you
look at them and go, you know what?
That made me who I am.
Had that one event never happened, I wouldn't be the person I am.
I wouldn't be as strong as I am.
I wouldn't be as mentally strong as I am.
I wouldn't be able to accomplish what I've been accomplishing from what I've learned
from that.
And I always ask people to do this.
And that is to think about the hardest
time in your entire life. Just think about it for a second. Go back to those feelings.
It's not fun as you're going through them. But I bet if I were to say, would you want to change
it right now? Most people would say no. And the reason why is because you learned from whatever
it was and it made you who you are.
Like if I take the worst time in my life, the worst moment of my life was my father passed
away when I was 15. My father was an alcoholic. He passed away when I was 15 from alcoholism.
And it was what I always say, the worst day of my life, but it was also the best day of my life.
And the reason why it was the best day of my life. And the reason why it was the best day of my life
was because number one, that was the very first person that I ever knew that passed away.
And from that moment on, it was like a switch flicked in my head and I went, I'm going to die.
That means that I need to do everything that I can to make as much as I can out of this life.
I would not be the person I am had that not happened.
I would not have accomplished the things had that not happened. It was hard, but it made me stronger.
I bet the hardest moment of your life was really hard as well. You wouldn't want to go through it
again, but you wouldn't replace it for the world. It made you stronger. The same way that if you go
to a gym, if you go in and you lift really
heavy weight and really heavy weight, the only way for that muscle to grow is to put it under intense
physical strain to the point where it literally makes micro tears inside of the muscle. And at
that point in time, the muscle will then be sore for a few days, but it will come back and grow stronger.
That's exactly the way that you have to realize the past is for you.
It will not be able to change.
You got to let go of the freaking past already, but you got to realize it happened to me for a reason.
A muscle grows when it is put under intense strain.
You grow when you are put under intense strain.
I have a question for you.
If you were going to go run a marathon, let's say you're going to go run a marathon. It's your first marathon.
You've been training for a really long time. You're ready to run these, what is it, 26.2 miles,
I think. I don't know. I've never ran a marathon. I hate running. But let's just say, I think it's
26.2 miles, somewhere around there. I could be right. I could be wrong. And right before you're
about to start, out of the side, someone that you know comes up and says, here, I got you something. Go ahead
and put this on. And it's a 50-pound backpack. Would you want to run that marathon with that
50-pound backpack? I mean, I don't think you would. I know I wouldn't want to. I don't want
to run it in the first place. Why would I want to run it with a 50-pound backpack on my back?
want to run it in the first place? Why would I want to run it with a 50 pound backpack on my back? Why would you not want to run that? Answer it. Because it's going to be harder to run the
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show right now. Holding onto your past is like holding a backpack on your back. And then every
time you get something that you're holding onto, it's just another 10 pounds. It's another 10 pounds. It's another 10 pounds.
What would make your life easier is to just drop the backpack, right?
What would make your life easier is just to drop the past.
I know in theory, this is easy.
It makes a whole lot of sense.
But how do you actually do it? You've actually got to process and allow your thoughts and your brain to go, you know what?
It is worthless. Your brain does not want to hold on to something that doesn't give it anything.
Like your brain is extremely, extremely smart and extremely, extremely efficient. And it's going to
try to make sure that it's efficient as possible. And if it realizes that it's holding on to
something that's making it less efficient, it will eventually get rid of it.
And so the question I have for you is this,
would you want a thief to break into your house tonight
and then stay there rent-free forever?
Would you?
I don't think you would.
You'd wanna like get them out as quick as you possibly could.
So if you wouldn't want a thief to step into your house
and to stay there forever, why would you allow your joy to be stolen from you every single day
by the past? Why would you allow your present joy to be stolen from you because you're too
stuck up in the past? It's like letting a thief break into your house and stay there rent-free forever. You have to learn to do this, to just let go. You got to let go. Take a deep breath and
accept that event happened. That person died. I screwed up that relationship. You know, I should have gone right
when I went left. Whatever it is, you've got to take a deep breath. You've got to let go and you've
got to accept whatever it is that happened. You've got to accept it. And here's the reason why you
have to accept it. Because it happened exactly as it should have happened. You can
either look at the world in one of two ways is that everything in the world is happening to me
or everything in the world is happening for me. And if you look at the world as if everything
is happening to me, you have a victim mindset, a woe is me mentality. Oh, that person broke up with me
because I'm such a loser. And it's everything's just happening to me. Now, the most successful
people and the happiest people in the world look at the world as if the world is happening
for them. Everything that happens to them, every single little teeny tiny thing, every event,
them. Every single little teeny tiny thing, every event, good or bad, is happening for their own benefit. So I look at the world and I try to look at the world as when something good happens to me,
it's happening for me. When something bad happens to me, no matter how bad it is,
it's happening for me. What am I supposed to learn from this? The worst thing that could happen to you is that something bad happens and that you don't
learn from it at all.
You have to learn from every single thing that happens to you, good or bad.
So if something goes out there and I get a flat tire on the way to driving to go do something,
this is happening for me, right?
Now, most people are like, oh my God, what was me?
I'm about to be
at my friend's house. I'm supposed to go do this. We were supposed to go on a trip and my tire is
flat. Why is the universe doing this to me? Right? You could look at it that way if you really want
to, and that's your prerogative. Or you could say, I just got a flat tire. Maybe the reason why is
because I was supposed to get a flat tire because if I wouldn't have gotten a flat tire, there would
have been that crazy person
that ran the red light
and they would have T-boned me
and it could have been a tragic accident.
I don't know.
There's no way to actually know that,
but that's the way that I prefer to look at the world.
Oh my God, I woke up late and I missed my flight.
Damn it, why does this always happen to me?
Versus, okay, this happened.
I missed my flight.
Maybe something tragic was, maybe that plane would have happened. I missed my flight. Maybe something tragic was maybe that plane would
have crashed. I don't know. But all I know is that it happened. And I believe in my own personal
opinion that it happened for me. So I'm going to go, okay, my tire is not popped. It happened for
me. Okay. I missed my flight. It happened for me. Okay. That person broke up with me. It
happened for me. Okay. That person died. It happened for me. I don't want any of those
things to happen. I don't want people to die, but I want to come from the point of it's happening
for me, for my own development, whatever the hell that means. I may never be able to extract the
lesson, but I'm going to try everything that I can to figure out that lesson could be. And the crazy thing is that some people are still in a bad mood
today over something that happened to them 10 years ago. I don't know about you, but that's
insane to think about. Some people are still in a bad mood today over something that happened to
them 10 years ago. But here's the crazy thing. It's not that thing that happened to them 10 years ago
that's making them mad. No, no, no, no, no. It's not the thing that happened to them 10 years ago.
What is making them mad is the way they are thinking about that thing that happened to them 10 years ago. That's really what it is.
It's not the event. It's their thoughts about the event that are making them feel the way that they
feel. It's not the event. The event happened. It happened 10 years ago. Done. Nothing they can do
about it. Why would that event still be creeping up into their present moment? Because they're
still thinking about the way that you think about something in this present moment. If you think that something happened to
you and you're still mad about it, it's like carrying that backpack and going, you know what,
today I'm going to wake up and I'm going to put on the, I'm still a victim of that thing that
happened to me 10 years ago backpack. And it's going to weigh me down. And you know what? I
choose, choose to wear it
because that's the truth. We're not a victim of what happened. We're choosing to still be a victim
of our thoughts of what happened to us in the past. So it's not what actually happened. It's
how you feel about what happened. And you could say, oh, but it was, it wasn't just an event.
It was somebody that did this to me. I'm still pissed off about that person who cheated on me,
that person who was my ex
that didn't take care of our children or did this
or whatever it was.
It's like the Mark Twain quote where he says,
anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel
in which it is stored
than onto anything in which it is poured.
So it's like having anger inside of
you over something that happened in the past is like holding onto acid because it's, it's literally
eating you up inside, but doing no harm or to anybody else. Like it's doing nothing to anybody
else except for to you. It's literally like holding onto acid. It's like, it's like having,
holding onto a hot potato and wanting to throw it at somebody,
but you just decide to hold on to it forever. You're literally just injuring and hurting yourself.
It's time to stop carrying it around. Let go. Let go. Let go. Get over it. There's nothing you can
do. The only thing that you can do is get past it. Well, I guess there's two things you could do.
You can either get past it or you could just be pissed off about it
for the rest of your life.
Which one do you want?
It's your choice.
It's no one else's choice.
It's your choice.
You either get over it
or you stay in the woe is me mentality.
There's really nothing else that can be done.
But you get to choose which one you want.
If you wanna stay in your victim mindset
and the woe is me mentality, stay there.
Stay there forever.
That's your choice.
But if you're like, you know what? I'm tired of playing the victim. I'm ready to go ahead and
move on with my life. Now it's time to move on. Once again, guys, don't cheat on your future with
your past. It's the backpack. Let go of the backpack. Get over it. Get over it. Get over it.
Take a few deep breaths and accept it happened. There's nothing that you can do about it. Have gratitude for that past
and the way it happened. Don't wish for it to be different because it can't be different.
Have gratitude because ultimately what it comes down to is this, full acceptance for the past,
for the present, for the future, for everything that has happened to you
and everything that will continue to happen to you,
it's full acceptance.
And once again, you have two ways to look at the world.
One is that everything is happening to me
and the other way is that everything is happening for me.
One is a victim mindset.
One is a champion's mindset.
Here's the beautiful thing about life.
It's your choice. It's your choice.
It's your choice.
It always has been and it always will be.
So that's what I got for you for today's lesson.
If you love this episode,
please share it with someone that you know and love.
I'm gonna leave you the same way that I always leave you.
First off, make sure that you go out there,
you be the change that you want to see in the world. Don't go tell somebody what they should do or put your opinions on them.
Become the change that you want to see in the world because ultimately that's how the world
is going to change by you, you, you going out and becoming that change. People seeing you change
and people wanting to be like you. You have to be the lighthouse for everyone else that's around you.
So be the changes you want to see in the world. If you love this episode,
please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R,
so that we can continue to grow. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope
that you have an amazing day. Thank you.