The Mindset Mentor - How to Make Massive Changes in Your Life Easier

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. And if you want to receive motivational video text messages directly to your cell phone, text me right now, 1-512-580-9305. Once again, 1-512-580-9305. Today, we're going to talk about how to make massive changes in your life. And before I do, I want to bring up something that I've brought up before in the past. And I want to just give you a quick example and see how this relates to you before I talk about how to actually change yourself. So let's say that you have somebody that comes up to you and they need your help, right? They don't even necessarily need your help, but you could give them help. And it's just a random person on the street and they need your help. You can either help them or you can help somebody that

Starting point is 00:00:59 you really hate. Someone who has screwed you over in the past. Maybe they cheated on your boyfriend with you or whatever. Had your boyfriend cheat on you with them. Somebody who has screwed you over in the past. Maybe they cheated on your boyfriend with you or whatever. Had your boyfriend cheat on you with them. Somebody who really screwed you over in the past and you could help them. That's person B. Or person C is you can help one of your friends who's been your friend and had your back for years and years. And you only can pick one of them who all need your help. Who would you help? You'd probably help your friend, right? Why? Because that's somebody who you're close to, someone who's been there for you, someone who's loved you, someone who you love. And you want to help people who have helped you. You want to love

Starting point is 00:01:34 people who love you. And the reason why I bring that up is because I want to bring up a thought of changing yourself, changing your life, changing your circumstances, changing your body, changing your mindset. And not too long ago, I was at an event. Actually, it was about a year ago now that I'm thinking about it, before the whole COVID thing happened. I was at an event. A lady stood up and she said, my main goal for this year is to lose all of this fat because I hate the way I look. I want to look good. She said, I want to look good in a bikini. I hate the way I look. I want to look good. And she said, she's like, I want to look good in a bikini. I hate the way I look. I've hated this body for so long. And now it's time for me to go and get my, as she said, my J-Lo body is what she said. And I was like, that's cool. But I think that she's actually thinking at it from the wrong, taking it from the wrong perspective.

Starting point is 00:02:20 Can you change something that you hate? Absolutely. Of course you can. And you can force yourself to change that thing. I have gone to the gym and worked out really, really hard because I hated the way that I looked. And it's possible to hate something so much that you actually change it. But there's a whole lot of resistance. I don't know how it is for you, but there's a whole lot of resistance in my mind to hating something and changing something just because I hate it. So I can go, you know what? I hate my body.

Starting point is 00:02:52 I hate the way it looks. I don't like the way that I look in a bathing suit or whatever it is. I don't like how I'm not as muscular as these people and I hate my body and I'm gonna fucking change this thing. I'm gonna work really hard to change it. That's what I'm gonna do. And I've done it before. And you can put your head down,

Starting point is 00:03:07 just bash your head into a wall and just go and go and go and go and go. But when you come at anything with that type of force, there's going to be resistance that's going to come back at it. Usually when you swing really hard one way, you swing really hard the other way. That's what I've come to find out. And so you could change your body by hating it, or you could love your body so much that you want to change it. So another example of changing your body could be this. Let's say, for instance, you sit back and you think, and I want you to do this around. Think of all of the things that you've put your body through. Think of all of the nights that you haven't gotten the sleep that you needed. Think of, and I can think of this for myself, think of all of the

Starting point is 00:03:49 alcohol that you've drank. Think about all of the drugs that you've done, right? I have had many sleepless nights. I've done many different types of drugs. I've done, I probably drank more alcohol by the time I was 30 years old than the average person should in their entire lives. I've done, I probably drank more alcohol by the time I was 30 years old than the average person should in their entire lives. I've had competitions to see who could get drunk the fastest, who could get high the fastest, who could take the biggest bong rip. I've done everything and still this body works. I've eaten crappy food. I've eaten greasy food. I've eaten sugary food. I've eaten all the food that my body doesn't like. And still it works.

Starting point is 00:04:27 Holy shit. This thing's been taking care of me, even though I haven't been taking care of it. So I can come at the perspective of, I hate my body and I want to change it. Or I can take a step back, shift my perspective, shift my angle and go,

Starting point is 00:04:43 look at all of the times that I haven't been there for my body, but my body's been there for me. All that it's helped me when I haven't helped it. All the stuff that I put through and it still shows up every single day and works. Pretty good. That's pretty amazing. What I should do is I should actually love my body because my body's been doing a lot for me for a really long time. And so with my shift of perspective, now I can go ahead and say, I love this body so much. I'm not going to not take care of it. There is nothing that could convince me that I need to eat that greasy, crappy food because now I'm on my, I'm on my body side. I'm taking my body side versus my taste bud side. There's nothing to convince me that I need to get wasted and have a hangover tomorrow

Starting point is 00:05:28 because I'm on my body side. I know that's not good. If I'm on a hangover, that's a withdrawal from alcohol the very next day. Clearly, that's not good for my body. And then I could look at it and say, you know what would actually make my body work better? If I did work out every single day, if I did get movement every single day, if I did do cold showers or cold plunges and went in saunas and started to go to chiropractors and started to try to fix everything, man, I love my body so much.

Starting point is 00:05:51 And it's been there for me for so long through so many things that maybe I should have its back. Now, which one feels better to you? Wanting to change your body because you hate it so much or wanting to change your body because you love it so much. And instead of going at it and forcing and being met with resistance, what if I were to just be like, you know what? This is a team game. I'm going to join my body side and we're going to end up working together in change. And I'm going to love my body through all of this stuff. For me, I don't know the way that you feel.

Starting point is 00:06:29 For me, it just feels better to go on the loving side, to have less resistance, resistance to the things that I hate. So we could take body as an example. Let's take another example besides just body. Think about your current circumstances that you're in. You might have great circumstances that you live in in your life. You might have okay circumstances you live in your life. You might have things that you hate in your current reality and you just hate where your life is. Wherever it is, we can literally look at it and we could just hate everything around it. I'm not where I want to be. I'm not married and don't have kids. All of my friends do. I don't have a house. I don't have the money that I want. I thought by now at 20 years old, 25 years old, 30, 35, 40, whatever you are, I would be further along in life. I would have traveled more. I would have made more money. I would have gotten promoted. I would have had my

Starting point is 00:07:13 own business. And I can hate my circumstances and be really pissed off at my circumstances. And I can hate it so much that I push myself into action. And you can do that. I've done it before too. So I'm speaking from experience in both of these. But when you do that, it's just so much harder to motivate yourself. It's harder to motivate yourself to do something that you hate and to get out of circumstances that you hate. The same way as the example I gave you in the beginning, that it would be harder to want to help somebody that you hate, that screwed you over in the past versus someone that you love, that's always been there for you and always had your back. And so if you think about that,

Starting point is 00:07:53 what if I were to look at my circumstances and say, okay, maybe my life isn't exactly where I want, but what I'm going to do is as I'm driving my car of life, I'm going to look back in the rear view mirror and go, man, if I look back though, I'm really grateful that I'm not where I used to be. It's kind of like the Joyce Meyer quote. She says, uh, she says, I'm not where I want to be, but I thank God that I'm not where I used to be. Right? So maybe you're not where you want to be in life. And there's a pretty good chance if you listen to this podcast, you're like me, and you probably will never be where you want to be in life because you'll always be pushing for more.

Starting point is 00:08:26 You'll always be pushing for better. You'll always be pushing for just a little bit extra because you're an overachiever because you want more because you want to really squeeze all of the juice out of this fruit of life. These days, it can be hard to find some time to sit down and learn. And it's not easy with the likes of social media, which can be so addictive and so time consuming. So you may think I don't have enough time to develop myself, but there's an app that I highly recommend and it's called Blinkist. Blinkist is for anyone who cares about learning, but doesn't have a whole lot of time. And Blinkist takes the key ideas and insights from over 4,000 nonfiction bestsellers in more than 27 categories and gathers them in together into 15 minute text and audio explainers

Starting point is 00:09:06 to help you understand the core ideas. And 15 million people are already using Blinkist to broaden their knowledge in 27 nonfiction categories, including self-improvement, personal growth, management, leadership, mindfulness, happiness, and so much more. I like Blinkist because it's short to the point, just like me. And one book that I recommend that you listen to on there is How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. And right now, Blinkist has a special offer for our audience. If you go to Blinkist.com slash mindset, you can start a seven-day free trial and get 25% off Blinkist premium membership. That's Blinkist, spell B-L-I-N-K-I-S-T.com slash mindset to get 25% off

Starting point is 00:09:47 and seven day free trial, Blinkist.com slash mindset. And what you could do is you could look at it and say, man, I'm not where I want to be. The circumstances I am are not where I want to be. You know, my relationships are not where I want to be. My life isn't where I want to be. I thought I'd be further along than I am. My business is not where I want to be. My life isn't where I want to be. I thought I'd be further along than I am. My business is not where I want to be. My career is not where I want to be. My family is not where I want to be, but thank God it's not where it used to be. Thank God I'm going in the right direction. And instead of hating my current circumstances and wanting to force myself through the hate and having the resistance towards it, why don't I just go, you know what? I love my current circumstances because it's better

Starting point is 00:10:31 than it used to be. And I know right now sitting where I am that I'm in better situation than I ever have been. Or I'm in better situation than I was six months ago or a year ago. And I know that I'm working on myself. I'm listening to podcasts. I'm taking courses. I'm reading books. I'm doing some meditation. I'm working out a little bit more. I'm eating healthier. I'm on the right path. So I can love the current path that I'm on.

Starting point is 00:10:54 And the more that I love the current path that I'm on, guess what I want to do? I want to pick up things along the way that will help me love it even more. So I can either hate my path and force myself to succeed, or I can love my path. And as I'm loving the path that I'm on, it makes me excited to wake up in the morning because I know that things are constantly getting better. And as they get better, I continue to pick up things along the way that continue to make it even better than it is right now. So I can look at my current life circumstances and I can absolutely hate them. Or I can look at my current life circumstances and figure out a way

Starting point is 00:11:30 to love them. The same way that you can hate your body or love your body, you can hate your circumstances or love your circumstances. All it requires is a simple perspective shift. Just change it just a tiny bit, right? Let's take another example. What about your relationships? How are your relationships right now? Do you love somebody because you love them or do you love somebody because you hate to be alone? You're just afraid to be lonely. What is it? Do you love the relationships that you have or there's some relationships that you hate? Are there certain aspects of someone that you're, instead of focusing on what you love about somebody, whether it's a friend or a partner, whoever it is that you're in a relationship with, maybe it's your family, instead of

Starting point is 00:12:11 noticing and paying attention to all of the things that you hate about them, the things that, because we know when you're in close relationships, whether it's family members, someone that you're close to, close friends, romantic relationship. Those people know how to push your buttons and we can look and find all the things that we hate or we don't like about them or we want to be different. And we can seek out those things. And I guarantee nobody's perfect. You're going to find things that you're not really a hundred percent on with them. And that's okay. Or you can look and say, instead of focusing on the things that I don't necessarily like, or I wish that were different, why don't I go and look at this person and say, you know what?

Starting point is 00:12:50 Do they have their flaws? Yes, everybody does. Do I absolutely have my flaws? But also I could choose to focus on all of the things I love about them, all of the ways that they support me, the ways that they're there for me. Because if you just take that simple perspective shift, now what you realize is it's easier to love the people around you because you're not focusing on the things that you don't necessarily enjoy. You're not focusing on things that you hate. You're not focusing on things that aren't your favorite about them. You're focusing on the little things that you do love, the quirks, the way that they support you, the way they make you laugh, the way that they look at certain times, whatever it is that you love about them. And in turn, what you're doing is you're coming from a place of love versus coming from a place of hate. Because everything that you do is either love or

Starting point is 00:13:33 hate or love or fear, you know? And so if you were to look at it and say, okay, I want to improve my body. That's one of my biggest goals for the year. How can I change my body from a place of love? Think about that. There's definitely places where you can change it from a place of love. Oh man, I do need to drink more water because I know that, you know, I'm 70% water. The more hydrated I am, the better it's going to be for me. The more I can flush out toxins, the better it's going to be for my muscles, all of that stuff. Better sleep I'll get. Everything's better when you're hydrated. Okay. That's one thing I can definitely do. That's easy. You can start off easily and just make yourself drink water and then just start loving your body a little bit more. Figure out things that you can

Starting point is 00:14:11 improve and get better, but doing it from a place of love. Then on the other side, you can look at your current circumstances and say, man, I really have been looking at my life and everything that I have from a place of hate. Can I look at it from a place of love and look at it from a place of gratitude and see if I can just shift that perspective a little bit? Of course I can. Great. Okay. Now let's look at my relationships. Have I been focusing on people's faults? All people have faults. Have I been focusing on them? Yes. But are there things that I do love about them and I can focus on those? Because what you focus on grows. So if you're focused on things that you hate, you're going to find more things to hate,

Starting point is 00:14:49 whether that's in your body, whether it's in your circumstances, whether that's in other people. But if you focus on things that you love, you're going to find more other things to love, things that you love about your body, things you love about your circumstance, things you love about the people that are around you as well. All it takes is just a simple awareness,

Starting point is 00:15:06 taking yourself out of your head, because when you're in the jar, you can't read the label. What does that mean? Take yourself out of the jar, AKA your head, your current life, and look at it as if you're someone else from the outside. When you're in the jar, you can't read the label. I'm trying to read the label of my life and see what's going on. All it takes is a little shift in perspective. And you look at each thing. You say, can I look at my body from a different perspective? Yes. Let's make a list of things I love about myself. Can I look at my current circumstances from a different perspective? Yes. Let's make a list of all the things about my body and my circumstances that I love. Can I look at all of my relationships from a different perspective? Yes. Let's figure out all that I love about the

Starting point is 00:15:43 people around me as well. All it takes is just a little bit of a perspective shift. And then the last question I want to ask you that I want you to think about as well is how can I make this easier on myself? One of the things that we tend to do is we tend to act as if life and success and relationships and everything that we go through need to be hard. They need to be a struggle. You have to struggle your way to success. And all of that is completely false. What. They need to be a struggle. You have to struggle your way to success. And all of that is completely false. What if you were to take a step back and say, hey, can I make this easier on myself? Can I make my workouts and my health and everything that I'm doing for my body easier on myself? And make a list of all the ways you can make it easier.

Starting point is 00:16:19 Can I make my circumstances in what I'm doing easier on myself? Can I make my relationships easier on myself? Because life doesn't have to be hard. Life's already hard as it is. But if you're coming at something from the wrong perspective, you're going to make it harder on yourself than you need to. So the challenge that I have for you is, can you shift your perspective on everything? And can you figure out a way to make every single thing

Starting point is 00:16:42 that's happening around you in your life easier so that it's met with less resistance, less hate, and now you meet everything with love. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in at RobDialJr, R-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way that we grow is from you guys

Starting point is 00:17:01 putting it out there and helping us grow. So I greatly, greatly appreciate every single one of you for every single share that you do to get the word out there, because that is how we grow. And I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode, make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - How to Make Massive Changes in Your Life Easier

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