The Mindset Mentor - How to Manage Your Stress

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the entire world. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada, and you want to get motivational, inspirational text messages and videos from me to your phone, text me right now 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be talking all about stress. We're going to talk about how stress works in your life, what stress is, how to relieve yourself from stress, how to manage the stress, but also the different types of stress. One thing that I think most people listening are probably not aware of as of yet is that not all stress is created the same. Not all stress is the same type

Starting point is 00:00:55 of stress. And when you zoom out and you look at stress, there's actually three different types of stress that exist in your life. And so there's one type of stress that's called eustress, and I'll dive into that. There's another type of stress that is called hypostress, and then there's another type of stress that is called hyperstress. And so when we look at stress, before we dive in and talk about each one, let's talk about stress just in general. When I look at something that I've heard before, like anxiety or depression or stress, we've all heard these words. They're omnipresent.

Starting point is 00:01:28 We've, you know, hear them all the time, multiple times a day, probably. Right. But do you really zoom out and say like, what is this thing though? So when we look at stress, is it the same as anxiety? Is it the same as depression? Are they different? What's the difference between them? And so stress, when you look at the definition, is a physiological and psychological response

Starting point is 00:01:46 to things and situations that upset our personal balance in some sort of way. This is an important piece. They upset, stress upsets our personal balance. You know, will we go out of balance and be stressed sometimes? Yes. But will we be unstressed sometimes? We should be. Sometimes we're just in chronic stress, though. That's not balance. And so stress, the first thing I want to say and bring in and for

Starting point is 00:02:09 you to understand is stress is not bad. It's not. The reason why we have it is because it's natural to the human body. It kept our species alive and it has a lot of benefit to it. But whenever it starts to get out of control and it becomes chronic stress, then it becomes a problem. And so when you see the different types of stress, you're going to see, oh yeah, now I can see why stress is actually a good thing in my life. But if I feel stress from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed, it's out of control. And that comes from you and you alone. It doesn't come from your you alone. It doesn't come from your external circumstances. It doesn't come from anything else. It comes from you. It comes from your mindset. It

Starting point is 00:02:49 comes from the way that you're looking at your life. And so if you feel like you're too stressed, you've got to take ownership of it and say, okay, it is out of control, but I'm the one who let it get out of control. I'm going to be the one that puts it back in its cage. And so when we're faced with some sort of challenge or some sort of threat, our bodies prepare to respond. And this response can be physical, it can be mental, it can be emotional. But when we're faced with some sort of threat, our bodies click on and say, hey, we've got to do something about it. Stress is in the brain, and it's also in the body as well. And sometimes stress can come from the outside world. You know, like let's say, for instance, you're going for a hike in this beautiful place.

Starting point is 00:03:31 You're out in Alaska. And on this hike, you see a bear running at you in the woods. You're not going to have time to sit and think, hmm, there's a bear coming at me. Is it running at me? Is it running at something near me? Should I run from this? Should I stay? Should I fall?

Starting point is 00:03:47 You're not going to have time to think. There's no thinking in that moment. Your body is just going to go into stress mode and it's going to do what it needs to do in order for you to survive, right? The brain, what it does is it sends distress signals to the adrenal glands. And then what it does is it sends adrenaline and cortisol to get your body ready to go into fight mode, flight mode, whatever it has to do in order to have some sort of response to protect you, right? That's what happens. Okay. Something happens, brain, distress signals, adrenal glands turn on, send adrenaline, send cortisol,

Starting point is 00:04:20 and the hormones, you know, then get you ready for fight or flight. And what happens after that is then your heart rate increases, your muscles will tighten, your blood pressure rises so that your blood can get, you know, you can get more blood to different parts of your body. Your senses become much sharper and there's an increase in strength that you have usually in stamina. Usually what you have is you have, you know, you're able to catch things quicker, you're able to see things quicker, you're able to take basically the way that we want to think about is when your stress hormones can turn on in these moments, particularly when you have a bear running at you. It's like whenever you want to slow down and put your phone into slow-mo when you're doing a video,

Starting point is 00:05:01 it goes from like 30 frames per second to 120 frames per second as your brain actually processes a lot quicker when it's in stress modes, which is why it can be used for good. If your brain processes quicker and better, slows down time a little bit, well, obviously you can figure out a way to use that to help you be more productive or to think or be more creative if used in the right way. But, you know, your reaction time is sped up. Everything seems to come in quicker and it prepares you for whatever the stressor is, to fight it or to flee from it, right? So that's what it looks like if you look at us running from a bear. But when you look at nowadays, like when I say, hey, what are you stressed out about?

Starting point is 00:05:40 Majority of people are not going to say, bear's running at me. Most of our stresses come from our minds nowadays. It's not necessarily what's happening around us and outside of us, but what's happening inside of us is really what's causing most of the stress now. So it's the way that we perceive a situation can determine whether or not it's a stressor. So, you know, like for instance, if you and I walk by a dog and I love dogs, but you were once attacked by a dog as a kid, it's the exact same thing, but it becomes stressful for you. It does become stressful for me based off of our past,

Starting point is 00:06:17 based off of our perception, based off of that. Another example would be, let's say for instance, I love public speaking. I used to hate it, but I've done it so many times. I've got like probably 30,000 hours of public speaking experience at this point. For me, it's like exhilarating. I'm a little bit nervous before, but I get really excited when I'm on stage, after stage, all of that. But public speaking can be terrifying for other people. And so it's the exact same situation, but for one person, it can be exciting. For another person, it can be a stressor.

Starting point is 00:06:45 And so that's really how stress works inside of our bodies. And stress can manifest in many different ways. It can manifest through excitement. It can also manifest through anxiety, through irritability, through depression. It can lead us to feeling overwhelmed, moody, agitated, all of that. So really, when you look at it, stress is a mechanism that's necessary for the human body. It's necessary for us to survive. But when we start talking about it being in your mind, now let's actually start to work through it and go

Starting point is 00:07:16 through the three different types of stresses that exist. Okay. The first one is called eustress, and it is EU stress. That's how it's spelt. And e-u, like e-u, basically what it means when you look at it, it's a Greek prefix, which means good. And so eustress basically just means good stress. It was termed by an endocrinologist, and Hans Selve is his name, in case you're curious. He termed it as this, and eustress can actually be really exciting. It's often short term, but it feels really exciting. Like if you, for instance, let's take out of your normal day today, if you ride a roller coaster, that can be a really stressful event in the body, but it can be a very exciting event for you to go through.

Starting point is 00:08:02 It can be riding a roller coaster. It could be the rush of delivering a really great speech. Maybe you achieve a personal goal that you've been working towards. Maybe you get done with a really good workout that puts a lot of stress on the body, but releases a lot of endorphins, makes you feel really good. Maybe you'd go and you lift really heavy weight. You hit a personal best. You hit that PR, that's going to make you feel really good. That's you stress. Going for a long run, that's you stress. The challenges with growing a business and looking at it and being like, man, this is like a game. This is fun to do. That can be you stress as well. And so it's really the good stress because the EU, the you part of it

Starting point is 00:08:41 actually means good. So it's good stress. And this stress, what it does is it enhances motivation, your focus, your energy, and it can turn on parts of the brain that make you more creative, give you feelings of hope, give you feelings of meaningfulness, vitality, all of that. And so often, when you're in this situation, you're going, okay, well, that sounds awesome. I want more good stress in my life. I want more you're in this situation, you're going, okay, well, that sounds awesome. I want more good stress in my life. I want more you stress in my life. And that's why I want to talk about this first, because usually when people think stress,

Starting point is 00:09:11 they think bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, not necessarily the case. And it's this one is actually good stress. So how do we create more good stress in our lives? Step out of your comfort zone more. Do more things that you've never done before. You feel you stress after you get out of your comfort zone more do more things that you've never done before you feel you stress after you get out of your comfort zone do something new do something challenging push yourself even if you don't succeed at that thing with it with whatever that thing is that it might be maybe you try to go lift a personal best and you don't succeed at it you still feel good about the fact that you tried.

Starting point is 00:09:51 You know, set some achievable goals. Don't make your goals too low. Make them a little bit out of reach, but a little bit outside of your current capacity so that when you do expand yourself out of your comfort zone, involve yourself, and you do get a little bit out and accomplish that goal, whatever it might be, then you feel good about yourself. That is what eustress is. And eustress can be very beneficial for us. And so I wanted to cover that one first because not all stress is bad. Cool? That's the first one, which is eustress. If you want to know the spelling of it, it's E-U stress. The next form is hypostress. This is actually the stress of understimulation, which is pretty interesting because a lot of times when we think of stress, we think of being overstimulated. But eustress is really good. Hypostress is the understimulation, and it happens when you have too little stimulation.

Starting point is 00:10:36 There's not enough challenge in your life. There's not enough activity in your life. You're hanging out on the couch watching too much Netflix. in your life. You're hanging out on the couch watching too much Netflix. And what it can lead to is the feelings of being really restless, being really bored, lack of excitement in your life. And when you look at, you know, eustress, it's stimulating to yourself because you're challenging yourself. Hypostress is the exact opposite. It is not enough stimulation. You do the same thing every single day. You wake up at the same time. You take a shower. You get dressed. You eat the same thing every day

Starting point is 00:11:10 for breakfast. You take the exact same route to work. You go to work. You do the exact same shit you've been doing for seven years. You eat the same thing for lunch. You go home. You take the same route home. You eat the same food. You watch the same TV shows, you go to bed. That is going to cause hypostress where it's just like, there's no excitement to my life. And that can start to stress you out when you feel like there is no excitement to your life. Because we are built as humans to be challenged and to grow and to be challenged and to grow. And so if you feel hypostress, it's because you've been doing the same shit for years. You've got to stop doing the same things. We are built to do different things,

Starting point is 00:11:52 to have more experiences, to challenge ourselves, to have more fun. And it's really just a lack of engaging stimuli. Like you're not engaging yourself anymore. You've been doing the same thing for years. And that can start to stress you out because your body is not made to just do the same things over and over. It's meant for experiences, for challenges, to grow. It's like my, one of my very first mentors used to always say you're either green and growing or brown and dying. Hypo stress would be like the brown and dying. You stress would be like the green and growing. And so the thing about hypo stress is it can be the most challenging because it often goes really unrecognized. It's this intense, overwhelming feeling of being stressed. I'm sorry, it's not an intense, overwhelming feeling of being stressed,

Starting point is 00:12:36 but it's kind of like more subtle. The next one I'm going to talk about is the intense, overwhelming feeling of stress, but it's more subtle. It's this nagging sense of being really dissatisfied with your life or restless or, man, I'm just sitting on my phone and scrolling all night long and I'm not doing anything or this job is so monotonous and I keep doing the same thing over every single day. And the routines that you have don't challenge you anymore. Like you could do most of your routines on autopilot without even thinking anymore. And, um, you know, you have, you have really long periods of inactivity, whatever it might be. You're watching the same show for six hours, so long that frigging Netflix comes on and says, are you still alive? Are you still here? You know, like that's,

Starting point is 00:13:18 that would cause hypostress. And the consequences of, of having hypostress too long is really decreased motivation, decreased creativity, uneasiness, lack of drive, lack of excitement for life. A general sense of unhappiness is really what that leads to. And it can also lead to, because there is understimulation, trying to stimulate yourself in unhealthy ways, which could be like risky behavior. Some people, they go and they want adrenaline pumping things. They drive their car too fast. They got to go skydiving. They got to do something that makes them feel alive again because everything in their normal everyday life makes them feel like they're not alive. It could also be substance abuse, drugs, and alcohol, things that make them feel like they're waking up from their normal,

Starting point is 00:14:02 boring life. Something to make me feel alive again. So if you feel like you deal with hypostress, do something new. Stop doing the same shit every single day. You were meant to experience life. Try new things. Create a bucket list. Plan a trip somewhere. Work out more often. Get moving. Try some new hobbies. Challenge yourself a little bit more. Get out of your comfort zone. Stop doing the same things every single day because that will lead to more stress when you go through the hypostress. Cool? So that's hypostress, which is under stimulating, makes you feel stressed. Now we're going to go into the third one is hyper stress, which is what most people think of when they think of stress. It's too much stress always there all the time.

Starting point is 00:14:48 Either in your day-to-day life, things are really stressful, or in your mind, things are really stressful. And it's really this feeling of being pushed beyond what you can handle and leading to feeling really overwhelmed. And sometimes, actually a lot of the times, if I'm being honest with you, when I talk to someone who says they're stressed and overwhelmed, it's not that in this moment they have too much going on. It's that they have too much going on in the future and they're trying to think about all 47 things at one time. And that feels overwhelming and that feels stressful

Starting point is 00:15:19 versus just doing like what the next thing is. And this is what most people think when they think of stress. Physically, it manifests as exhaustion, headaches, muscle tension. Psychologically, it can lead to anxiety, being really irritable, depression. And hyper stress is really, you've got a pretty good idea of what it means, but let me give you a couple examples.

Starting point is 00:15:44 It could be you've got a deadline, you've got a couple deadlines coming up at work, and you're thinking about all the stuff that you have, and you've got stuff going on at home, personal issues, relationship issues. Maybe you're a student, and you've got multiple exams coming up next week, and you get really stressed about that. It's the feeling of being pulled in too many directions without enough resources to be able to cope through it. It's too much at work. It's the feeling of being pulled in too many directions without enough resources to be able to cope through it. It's too much at work. It's too much at school. It's financial problems and worrying about bills coming up. It's relationship conflicts. And it's not usually just like one or two of these things. It's like all of them stacked on top of each other, like

Starting point is 00:16:17 one on top of another, on top of another. And then you're like, holy shit, I've got too many things going on. Right. And a lot of times, once again, it's not anything external. It's that we are thinking about all of these things at one point in time. And we're like, this is too much. Like when I noticed that I get, I get stressed out, which, you know, about a month ago when the book was coming out and I was like putting out level up and I had, you know, some, we were at the same exact time we were hiring new people in the company. I was training them. It's getting them ramped up. I was also traveling to LA to go do interviews for the podcast. And every, you know, we were doing all this launch party, everything.

Starting point is 00:16:52 I was starting to get really stressed. And the reason why I was getting so stressed is because I was not because of what I had to do. It was because I was thinking about all of the stuff I had to do over the next two weeks. And I was like, one of the most stressful, like periods of my time in my life was I was just, I had so much going on and it wasn't the things I needed to do over the next two weeks. And I was like, one of the most stressful periods in my life was I was just, I had so much going on and it wasn't the things I needed to do. This is what I realized. It wasn't the things that I needed to do that made me stressed. It was that I was thinking about all of the next two weeks right now in this moment. And I can't do all of the next two weeks in this moment. And so a lot of times that's what stress is, is we're thinking about all of the

Starting point is 00:17:24 deadlines, all of the things coming up, all of the personal things, all of it at once, when in reality, it's not all happening right at this very second. So how do you manage stress? There's quite a few ways to manage stress. First thing is write it all down on pen and paper, like put out as much as you possibly can, take it out of your head, put it on a piece of paper, because when it's on paper, it could be planned. And you can start to see, okay, this thing that I'm stressing out about is I don't have to worry about it for 10 days. Like what do I need to do today to make myself feel like I'm chipping away at what's stressing me out? If it's at work and you can delegate stuff, delegate things. If it's in your relationship, have an honest conversation that you've been avoiding because

Starting point is 00:18:00 it's stressful, more stressful to avoid the conversation and to not have it and have it constantly ruminating your head than it is just to have an honest conversation. You know, everything is figureoutable. Figure out how to work through these things that are stressing you out. Other things that help a lot is mindfulness practices. I feel like I'm a broken record with how much I've been saying it recently, but breath work helps to calm your nervous system down so that you can, you know, calm your nervous system down and then be able to take smarter action, plan better, and be able to get the things done that you need to start chipping away.

Starting point is 00:18:34 Regular exercise helps. If you're not exercising enough, that will make you more stressed. And exercise, a good thing about exercise, it teaches you how to get stressed and de-stress and stress and de-stress and stress and de-stress and stress and de-stress. So regular exercise is really important. Making sure that you get enough sleep is really important. Make sure that you're hydrated enough. So few people drink enough water, right? Like just drink more water.

Starting point is 00:18:57 And so when it feels like you're in hyper stress, the important thing that I always recommend, it's usually in your head, put it on a piece of paper, plan it out, get better with time management, and actually just start chipping away the things that you need to. Use some mindfulness, use some meditation, some breath work, exercise enough, get the sleep, everything that you need to do and realize you can only do one thing at a time. So what is the thing that you need to do right now? So those are the different forms of stress. There's the good stress. There's two forms of bad those are the different forms of stress. There's the good stress. There's two forms of bad stress, I guess you could say. There's not enough stimulation.

Starting point is 00:19:29 There's overstimulation. Once again, it is about the balance in between those. Not to be understimulated, not to be overstimulated, but how do you balance yourself to make sure that you get the right form of stimulation? And you're also challenging yourself and growing as well. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode,

Starting point is 00:19:44 please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And once again, if you wanna be part of my inspirational text message thread, all you have to do is text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. And with that, I'm gonna leave it the same way

Starting point is 00:20:03 I leave you every single episode, make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - How to Manage Your Stress

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