The Mindset Mentor - How To Push Through When It's Hard

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you love this podcast, do me a favor real quick. Just go over to however you listen to us and give us a rating and review. The reason why is because the more positive rating and review we get on each platform, the more those platforms actually show this podcast to people who have never listened to it before, and that allows us to grow. So if you've loved this podcast, please do me that favor. Today, we're going to be talking about how to push through when things get hard. I'm going to talk about how to stop giving up. And when I say how to stop

Starting point is 00:00:42 giving up, I mean how to stop giving up on yourself. Like the one person that you should really follow through for is yourself. But for some reason, we always give up on ourselves before we give up on other people. That's why accountability partners work well for a lot of people is because you can't give up when someone's watching because you feel like there's a part of you that has to show up for them. And then with that, I'm going to give you three tips to push through at the moment when you actually feel like there's a part of you that has to show up for them. And then with that, I'm going to give you three tips to push through at the moment when you actually feel like you want to give up. Because all too often I hear people start and then they stop stuff and they start stuff

Starting point is 00:01:14 and they stop stuff. And if you started something, whatever it is, a business or a relationship or going to the gym, your health journey, if you started something, you went into the intention with the intention of finishing it, didn't you? You went in with the intention of, I want to do this because I know that there is a future version of me that I would love more than the current version of me or a future that I have created in my life that I would love more than my current future. You started with the intention of actually finishing. But when you started with the intention to finish, you wanted to finish. You still want to finish. So why aren't

Starting point is 00:01:59 you or why did you give up? It's really pretty simple. The reason why most people give up is because giving up is easy. Giving up on anything is the easiest thing in the world. There's nothing easier than giving up because it requires nothing of you. And humans will always, humans are like water. We will search for the easy route. We will search for the path of least resistance. So it's not that you stopped caring about the thing that you want. It's that you chose the easy route. And I want you to think about that for a second. Think about that business that you wanted to start six years ago, or maybe you did start it six years ago. And at some point in time, it became quote unquote too hard and you decided to give up. Where would your life be if you didn't give

Starting point is 00:02:46 up? Like if you continued to keep pushing through, where would your life be? That relationship that you really wanted that was a little bit challenging, but you knew there was something fruitful, if you would have continued with it, you gave it up. Where could that possibly be if you would have followed through? If you think about it this way, you start to think, man, my life could be completely different if I had just kept with that business. But what happens? It gets a little bit hard. It gets a little bit difficult. And then we end up giving up. No great life has ever been built by taking the easy route though. Like when you think of the people who you admire the most in your life, they're usually people that went admire the most in your life, they're usually

Starting point is 00:03:25 people that went through the most shit, right? They're usually people that decided to take the path that was harder. You're not listening to this podcast because you want to take the easy route. You know that you want something different and you're here because you probably want me to give you some tip or trick to keep going when you want to fucking give up, don't you? You're here because you want to get better at taking action, at taking the hard route, at taking the route that's less traveled by people. You heard me say it before, but life is either hard now and it's easy later, or it's easy now and hard later. Life will be hard at some point for you. You can either choose to do it now and make your life so much easier in the future,

Starting point is 00:04:05 or you can choose for it to be easy now and hard later. And so, you know, I can think of many examples in my life. I can think about people in my life, and even though I can look at these people with so much love, I can see that they took an easy route in life. I can think of people that I've been friends with for 25 years that took an easy route. And it's easy to take an easy route early in life. But now that I see them, you know, at 37, 39, 40 years old, their life, and they've expressed it to me, is not what they want it to be. They don't like what they have. And so it's easy when you're 21 years old to be like, oh, I have so much time.

Starting point is 00:04:42 But those of you guys that are over the age of 35 listening to this know there's not as much time as you think. You better get your shit together. You better start working towards what it is that you want. But life is either hard now and easy later, which means like you put in the work now, you put in the work now, you put in the work now, and eventually that makes your life easier in the future. Or it's hard now, I'm sorry, or it's easy now and hard later. But the thing about the hard later is that usually it's harder a lot longer than it is if you just choose hard now. Like, for instance, if we take business out of it, take all that stuff out of it, let's just take fitness. I use fitness as an example all the time. It's easy to not eat healthy. It's easy to not go to

Starting point is 00:05:23 the gym. It's easy to not pay attention to the stuff that your body responds best to and pay attention to the stuff that your body doesn't respond best to. It's easy to not pay attention to your health. But as you get older, you start to realize, damn, health really matters. So you either choose to make it hard now when you're younger, or you just have to know that it's going to be harder when you get older. And you are the youngest that you will ever be right now. So you might say, oh, well, I wish I would have done it 10 years ago. Cool. You didn't. Do it now. You didn't do it. Who gives a shit? It's like the quote, the best time to plant a seed for

Starting point is 00:06:03 a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now. You cannot go back into your past and decide that you want to be healthier or fitter or that you want to develop resilience and hard work into yourself. You can't go into your past and do it, but you can do it right now.

Starting point is 00:06:19 You can decide to take the hard route right now so that therefore your life will be easier later on in your life. Later on, sail off into the sunset, retire, do whatever the hell you want because you worked your ass off. And so I'm going to give you three tips to kind of help you push through when you want to give up. First one is to train yourself for what's hard. It becomes easier the more that you learn to push past the invisible mental barrier, because it's never like you versus the world. Like, you know, there's always like, it's us

Starting point is 00:06:52 versus the world. It's me and you versus the world. It's never you versus the world. Your life is always you versus you. And the you that you are against is the you that's inside of your head, that's trying to talk you out of everything. It's trying to make you sit around and eat the Oreos instead of eating something healthy. To have that extra drink just to make yourself a little bit more drunk versus deciding that you're not going to drink today. It's easier to do those things, but it's harder to make the smarter decisions. And it's always you versus you. It's you versus you. It's never you versus anyone else. When I say do something hard, this is why I'm such a big fan of cold plunges. And when I say big fan, I don't mean that I enjoy it. There's never been one. There's never been one time where I'm about to get into a cold plunge.

Starting point is 00:07:33 And I'm like, this is awesome. I'm so excited for this. It's usually just a whole bunch of expletives right before I jump in and I force myself to get in. I hate it, but I also love it because no matter how many cold plunges or how many cold showers you've taken, you'll never look forward to it. You'll never look forward to that cold water. It's a mental barrier that you come up that says, don't do it. At that moment, it says, just skip today. This is, this is dumb. Cold water. This is stupid, dude. Like what do you, what are you, one of those like biohackers? You're just going to jump in some cold water? This doesn't do anything. You know,

Starting point is 00:08:09 it's dumb. You don't need it. Just skip today. You can do it tomorrow. No, no big deal. Yeah, sure. Maybe it's good for you. Yeah, just do it tomorrow then. Yeah, yeah, do it tomorrow. Okay, fine. It doesn't go away. It doesn't. It's always there right before you get in the cold. And then guess what happens? You get in the cold, it freaking still doesn't go away. It's always there right before you get in the cold. And then guess what happens? You get in the cold. It freaking still doesn't go away. It's still there. You know, I have that. I always have this mental barrier. This is how it usually looks like. It's me hyping myself up to get into the cold water. And I'm like, come on, come on, motherfucker. You can do it. You could, I know you could do this. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. All right, let's go. Shit. Oh, fuck. I don't want to get in. Okay. Let's go. Let's go. And it's like, you have to like force yourself in. And

Starting point is 00:08:44 then I get in and then it is immediately get out get out get out get out all right you did it yeah you did it okay you're at 30 seconds just get out oh you want to do four minutes just get out dude get out get out and it's like two minutes of just fighting yourself you said you're going to be in here four minutes hey it's only one just get out just oh you know what just turn the water a little bit warmer you did it hey nobody will ever know that you got in this cold shower. Nobody will ever know that you got out of it, you know, a little bit sooner than you're planning on. Just get out. It's not a big deal. It's the same voice that comes in all of the time in your life. The one that makes you give up. When you go into doing something like this, like pushing yourself to go to the gym or going harder

Starting point is 00:09:21 at the gym or doing a cold plunge or doing any of those, you know, sitting down to do to go to the gym or going harder at the gym or doing a cold plunge or doing any of those, you know, sitting down to do a hundred cold calls. If you're a salesperson, it is the mental gym. The more that you do it, regardless of how you feel, the stronger that muscle becomes, which brings us to our next point. Do what needs to be done regardless of how you feel, aka stay consistent. Focus on consistent effort, consistent consistent effort there's a great book called the compound effect where he really i remember reading it 15 years ago and it really like opened up my eyes to success doesn't happen right away life doesn't happen right away everything that i want is not going to come tomorrow but if i just stay consistent if i just keep walking this

Starting point is 00:10:04 path of self-development if i just keep walking this path of self-development, if I just keep walking this path of building my business, I will eventually be where I want to be. And I'm going to do it regardless of how I feel. This morning, true story. I woke up, did my meditation, did everything. Lauren woke up about 45 minutes after I did. I went into the bathroom. She had just gotten ready. She looks at me and she goes, there's one thing I don't want to do today. She's got her gym clothes on. She goes, there's one thing I don't want to do today. You know what that is? And I said, what is it? She said, workout. And I said, you know what? Me too. But we just got to do it. And it's just, we said we were going to do it. We've got to stay consistent. We've got to be

Starting point is 00:10:42 consistent. We've got to do it. But not only do it every day, it's do it when you don't feel like it. Do it regardless of how you feel. A lot of people think that confidence comes from big successes in life. I think the majority of confidence comes from doing something you said you were going to do when you didn't feel like doing it. That's where, not when there's big success at the end. It is, I said I was going to do this. I don't feel like doing it. I'm going to do it anyways. And at the end, you feel good about yourself because you didn't skip out on yourself. You didn't skip out on you. I don't want you to be motivated. I don't want you to be skilled. I don't want you to be amazing. I don't want you to be better than everybody else. I want you to be consistent day in, day out, show up no matter how you feel. Decide what your goals

Starting point is 00:11:31 are and what you want your life to be. Figure out what action needs to be taken every single day, and then just do it and shut up about it, right? Like it's the mental barrier that's always in your head. Just do it. And there's a quote Will Smith said one time, and he says, if you can't overcome fear, just do it scared. Just do it scared. Don't give up. Just do it scared. Do it worried. Do it angry. Do it no matter how you feel. When you don't feel like doing it, do it longer. The person who is the most consistent will always win in the long run. It's like the phrase, I'll bet on the person. What is the phrase?

Starting point is 00:12:08 It is, the man who loves running will walk further than the man who's just running for the destination. It's like if you can just decide that you're going to fall in love with the process of becoming this person, of just doing it no matter what. If you can fall in love with the process every single day of being consistent in doing it when you don't want to do it, you will be further on in life than if you love to do the thing. I don't want you to be motivated. In fact, many psychological studies have shown that motivation does not often come before action. Motivation comes after action. You become more motivated while you're doing the thing that

Starting point is 00:12:47 you want to do. So like if you're like, oh, I'm searching for motivation before I go to the gym today. Keep searching. Fine. See if you can find it. But if you say, I'm just going to go to the gym, you know, I've done this many times. You've probably done before too. You go to the gym. You don't feel like going to the gym. And 30 minutes in after you're working out, you're more motivated to work harder. You become more motivated through the action. Don't worry about tomorrow. All that needs to be done tomorrow can be done tomorrow. Just take action today. Don't think about your wins. Don't think about your losses. Don't think about yesterday. Don't think about tomorrow. Neither of those mean anything. Taking action today is the only thing

Starting point is 00:13:23 that actually matters. Yesterday's successes and failures mean nothing to today. Take action no matter how you feel. That's number two. Number three, have a why. When you think about giving up, remember why you started. I always like to do this thing whenever I go into a challenge. I've done these 30-day challenges and 60-day challenges over the past five or six years with people where we push really, really hard for 30 days. And one of the things I love to have them do is on day one,

Starting point is 00:13:48 where they're the most excited. Because you know, when you're about to go into like a new challenge, it's like day one's exciting, it's fun, all that stuff. One of the things I'll have them do every single day one is to write a letter to themselves when they're going to give up. So it's like, now that I'm motivated to say on day one, I want to write a letter to myself on day, you know, this is 30-day challenge I'm going to go on. And maybe on day 17, I'll be like, this is stupid. I don't want to do this. I'm going to take out this letter that I wrote to myself on day one. That's going to be telling me why I should keep going, why I'm doing this, why, you know, my future, my current self and day 17 and my past self at day one are teammates

Starting point is 00:14:24 and why we should keep going. When you have a really strong why, it makes it easy to keep going. And my very first mentor used to always say this to me. Anytime we had set a goal, he said, why? Why do you want that? Tell me why. Not like, oh, I want to do it because I want to make more money. It's like, no, I need to have a deep why, like a deep seated thing inside of me as to why I'm going for this thing. Why? Because when your why is strong enough, your how will reveal itself. He used to always say this to me. When your why, as to why you're doing something, is strong enough, your how will reveal itself. The people who are the most driven, who are the most motivated, the most consistent,

Starting point is 00:14:59 have a why. They're not just doing it for the hell of it. They have a real reason why they're doing it. So when you think about giving up, remember why you started. This will push you to take action when you're too busy thinking about yourself, thinking about taking the easy route, thinking about taking the day off. Because all too often, I think people get really close to the life that they want or like the first breakthrough or the next breakthrough and they give up. Like if they were to just keep going, they would have gotten there. I've heard Ed Milet say it before where it's just like, don't worry about it. Can you just do one more day today? You know, if you're on this path of self-development, if you're on the path of building this business, if you're on the path of

Starting point is 00:15:37 building the body that you want, getting your health in order, of meditating, of building the relationship, whatever it is, just do one more day today. That's all I want you to focus on. Don't focus on the string of the next 45 days that you have to focus on. Just focus on today. Can you do one more day? Can you just focus on today and today only and showing up the way that you need to? Because if you just stop giving up on yourself, you will eventually have the life that you want. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. We have over 500,000 people that follow me on Instagram. I share a lot of stuff on there. So if you don't follow me yet on there, go ahead and follow me on there. Send me a message, say hi. I'd love to chat with you. And with that, I'm going to leave

Starting point is 00:16:21 the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - How To Push Through When It's Hard

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